Well, i always have the same problem, w/e i get to Skyhold point of the game i'm kinda lost, i'm a completionist on most of my games so, i have Hinterlands, Fallow mire, the Coast and all i could clean of Forbidden Oasis before get Skyhold access, the problem starts there, i usually meet hawke and do Here Lies the Abyss and get my Spec quest.
From there i'm always lost on what to do ( i ended game once,and only descent dlc, have yet to do other 2 ... , restarted it like 5-6 times, all dropped here ), at this point i wanna start clearing areas but my gear starts lacking, i have all trials on and try to stay on level range on gear ( tier 1 to 8, tier 2 to 16 , etc ), i have mix of full tier 2 gear with tier 2 mats (i'm always 12-14 by now ) and some piece with mix of tier 1 mats, battles are getting rough by now, not dif but rough ( 1-2 companion deaths, tank getting overwhelmed if fight takes long, etc ) , the reason why i always drop here its because i need to upgrade gear clearly , specially on companions, but what i dont wanna do its go to certain part of a new area to get X mat from there , then move to another area to get Y mat. , i can't stand metagaming, going radomly into a zone because i know certain item/mat its there, kills the fun for me ... if i go to a zone i try to clear it up , or big part of it...
How you people deal with this point of game, farming mats, gold for buy at emporium, zone/quest/main quest approching, i like the game but i'm getting tired of re-starting it....
I'll try to put this as gently as possible: you are your own worst enemy.
The bolded sections above are clearly the problem. You have over-constrained yourself. You have things going on that are in direct opposition to each other.
The usual remedy for too many constraints is to remove some of them.
If you remove the "try to stay on level range on gear", you can go directly to the Black Emporium and gear up above level. That's only one place you have to meta-game to, instead of all over the place.
Alternatively, you can take some of the pressure off by turning off Trials, or at least Walk Softly and Rub Dirt On It. Each of those requires serious metagaming, unless you like reloading fifteen times during each combat.
To answer your question, most of us are willing to invest time in farming and metagaming (I know exactly how to spend the minimum amount of time/Power to get into Valeska's Watch and Sulevin's Cradle -- did you know it is possible to get both of those unlocked without fighting anything in EdL?) in order to try more difficult challenges, like Trials. You can't have it both ways.
Nightmare, Trials, and self-induced challenges (I did a NM Dragon Hunting run where all I did was hunt dragons and try to finish all 10 at the lowest possible XP level, and I just finished a no-crafting NM run for the main quest) pretty much require ignoring the narrative and metagaming to the ultimate extent. For me, and I think a lot of people in their beyond-third playthrough, it's all about getting to the "good parts" (epic battles) and skipping through the rest as fast as possible. None of that is a good match for either completionist or anti-metagame.
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Maybe it will help if I tell you about my first playthrough. I'm not a completionist (never collected all the mosaic pieces, don't care to), but I am an explorer. I like to see every square inch of all that lovely environmental design. And "boundaries" seem arbitrary to me, the OOB area is just as interesting, if not more so, than the in-bound areas. I also don't care to min/max my gear on my first PT. I prefer to focus on exploring, the narrative and RP.
So, my first PT is always on Normal difficulty with a minimum amount of farming and running all over to get the best possible gear. I just get stuff organically as I explore and craft stuff organically as I get better mats and schemas. Since I'm running Normal, I don't really have to worry too much about getting outclassed by organically encountered quests or bosses.
Since explorer is a greater impulse than narrative for me, I don't really care that the Emerald Graves has no connection to the storyline whatsoever, doesn't bother me, because it's gorgeous and I don't mind spending hours hopping up on every rock or tree stump in there.
I think you need to find a similar kind of balance. Know what's most important to you and be willing to trade-off on the rest.