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[DoomsdayDevice]

*Goes to investigate* but suddenly...

a wild naked Asari appears...

[mickey111]

and shoots shepards sex-life

[Alvawildfire]

until then he began The

[Altair_ShepardN7]

Human Mating Ritual and attempted

[ddraigcoch123]

self flagellation in microgravity, interesting

[Cheviot]

a nearby Avina, who inquired

[Altair_ShepardN7]

about a Human mating totem

[Hadeedak]

Turns out it's just tequila.

[ModernAcademic]

that was stolen by Zevran

[Lady Artifice]

who shouldn't have been there

[Duelist]

And yet he still came

[Hadeedak]

Because hey, it's free booze.

[Alvawildfire]

Then All the N7's Gathered 

[Arcian]

To Mourn The Milky Way

[ModernAcademic]

after a Black Hole ate it

[KumoriYami]

ending the universe we know

[Helios969]

But the Reapers reconstructed it...

[Eryri]

... because EA demand more 'tribute'.

[LinksOcarina]

Making stuff is expensive now

[iM3GTR]

So EA drains our wallets

[Cheviot]

to pay wages and costs.

[MrMrPendragon]

Carry on my wayward son....

[Former_Fiend]

...for the Dark One rises...

[TheChosenOne]

For another sequel that will... 

[Arcian]

ruin the poor franchise forever