Death doesn't equate to "pain and harm" to Cole. In fact, Cole thinks death is a possible cure to "pain and harm". Especially if the Inquisitor doesn't say anything.
One could argue that Cole might assist Solas in his endeavors in an effort to relieve Solas' suffering... And Solas doesn't want to take the chance that such assistance might corrupt Cole.
But we have to remember the context of when Cole says that, which is when he's asking for permission to perform euthanasia on the dying soldier from Haven. He tells us that the healers had done all they could for the soldier but did not believe he would survived, meaning his last few hours would be filled with agonising pain and suffering... which is anathema to a spirit of Compassion such as Cole.
Most of the plot of Asunder has Cole struggle with this dilemma, as his overwheming desire and natural instincts to help can lead to actions that some might find objectionable or be horrified by. The reason is because Spirits are by their very nature amoral, as they define themselves by the ideals they personify, rather than any arbitrary and flexible moral compass that mortals own.
Cole does not advocate death as a means to spare people from suffering, but only when there is nothing else that can possibly be done to help them. It's why he still advocates a mercy killing here, even though he learned otherwise in Asunder, because the situation is entirely different.
For the dying soldier, there is absolutely nothing he can to help him save for taking his life... whereas with the mages in the Spire (even though they wanted to die), he now realises that he could have helped them without ending their lives.
(Incidentally, if we stop Cole, it's heavily implied that the the soldier did pull through and is the same one who goes up to the ramparts to watch the birds, that Cole lures with breadcrumbs.)
I think that Cole would attempt to stop Solas because he recognises his friend as making the same mistake he made, trying to help by removing the problem entirely, rather than stopping to address the actual problem itself.





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