33 réponses à ce sujet

[Beerfish]

Three Reavers walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"

 

 

A Katari walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The Katari hands the bartender a $10 bill.
The bartender thinks to himself, "This Katari doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many Katari's in here."
The Katari replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."

 

A Legionaire walks into a bar with a Nug on his head. The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a Nug on your head?"
The Lego replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear Nugs on our heads on Tuesday."
The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday."
Sheepishly, the Lego says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."

 

 

[ThatBruhYouDK]

I think this is why we keep you around lol you are on a roll man..a combat roll

[Beerfish]

I think this is why we keep you around lol you are on a roll man..a combat roll

I am not above stealing jokes and just rearranging some details.  I only did this because the forum has been deader than a door nail today.

[Proto]

I am not above stealing jokes and just rearranging some details. I only did this because the forum has been deader than a door nail today.

Come on Yallegro and Drasca. I need something to argue about.

[Beerfish]

Yeah a good build argument thread is what we need with lots of L2p's tl;dr and multi quote paragraphs. 

[ThatBruhYouDK]

Yeah a good build argument thread is what we need with lots of L2p's tl;dr and multi quote paragraphs.

My Reaver was going good for a while xD

[Evelynne]

A Virtuoso walks into a bar. 

He fell over and broke his neck when he hit the ground.

He gurgled for help as a Nug-Head-wearing-Legionaire ran out of the bar.

The Virtuoso drowned on his own saliva. 

 

Did I win?

[Carbon_Bishop]

A Necromancer walks into a bar.

 

The bartender says, "Hey pal, you know we have drink named after you?"

 

The Necromancer says, "Really?  You have a drink named Murray?"

 

 

Two Silent Sisters are baking in a oven,

 

One Silent Sister turns to the other and says," God, it's hot in here!"

 

The other Silent Sister says, "Oh My GOD! A talking silent sister!"

[Carbon_Bishop]

What's the difference between a box full of nugs and a box full of elemental mines?

 

You can unload one with a Inquisition Dagger.

[Carbon_Bishop]

A Legionaire walks into a bar with a Nug on his head. The barman asks, "Why are you wearing a Nug on your head?"

The Lego replies, "It's a family tradition. We always wear Nugs on our heads on Tuesday."
The barman remarks, "But it's Wednesday."
Sheepishly, the Lego says, "Man, I must look like a real fool."

 

Probably lost track of time in the deep roads while he was holding off darkspawn for two days...

[Beerfish]

A Virtuoso walks into a bar. 

He fell over and broke his neck when he hit the ground.

He gurgled for help as a Nug-Head-wearing-Legionaire ran out of the bar.

The Virtuoso drowned on his own saliva. 

 

Did I win?

Was this virtuso wearing an elemental belt?

[Beerfish]

What's the difference between a box full of nugs and a box full of elemental mines?

 

You can unload one with a Inquisition Dagger.

They both float upwards?  One on its own and the nugs via the trebuchet?

[Beerfish]

A Necromancer walks into a bar and says  "It's dead in here."

[Evelynne]

Nope, the Virtuoso was a level 1 with an Inquisition Staff. 

[Evelynne]

I tried baws. I faild

[Gya]

The necromancer and the alchemist are riding through Denerim on their bikes.

Sidony says "I've never come this way before"
Luka replies "Must be the cobbles".





Tone, raised.

[Gilli]

*goes into PUNquisition Threat and quotes herself*
 

Was passiert wenn ein Virtuoso lag hat? (What happens to a Virtuoso who has lag?)
 
Er ZITHER!t rum. (He shivers around)
 

Spoiler

The word Zittern means to shiver, and in german ZITHER! is pronounced like zitter(n).

[Jugger nuggss]

What does Zither! use when he goes down on his girlfriend?
Hot licks!

Is thing on?

[Evelynne]

Zither! has a girlfriend? 

 

I guess you could call that...   ->   A MIND BLAST. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAh

[Jugger nuggss]

Hall and Cillian walk into a bar.
Corbin tells them they should have ducked.

[Evelynne]

Cillian used Fade Cloak and laughs at Hall.

But Cillian forgets to step out of the wall and is subsequently melded with the wall.

Cillian's final moments are excruiciatingly painful and he dies while Corbin and Hall watch

 

This Bar gets deadlier by the day. 

 

Corbin and Hall drink themselves to death thanks to the immense trauma of watching their friend die in agony.

 

ANTIJOKES ARE FUN

[Para9on So1dier]

Just think what the Reavers get up to after they leave the bar, all that Reaver fisting

[lcneed]

After a particularly awful battle,

the legionnaire and keeper accepted the archer's invitation for a drink.

 

They walked into a bar, but the first thing they heard was someone shouting,

"Don't you know who I am?"

 

They all shook their heads and were ready to walk out.

But good fortune was with them.

Right before their eyes, a Golden Nug appears out of no where.

 

As they are ready to bash it down into nug paste,

The Golden Nug spoke!

 

"I am the King of All Nugs.  I will grant each one of you a wish."

 

They thought for a moment and the archer was the first one to speak up,

"I am afriad I don't really belong here.  I wish to retire to become a farmer."

King of All Nugs said, "Wish Granted!"

The archer was instantly teleported to the rishest farmland.

 

The legionnaire was next to wish,

"I have been away from the Deep Road for far too long, I am ready to go back."

King of All Nugs said, "Wish Granted!"

The legionnaire was dropped back to middle of the Deep Road.

 

The keeper stared at the spot where the legionnarie was standing a moment ago and said,

"Their custom is so odd.  But for me, I would like to be back with my clan."

King of All Nugs said, "Wish Granted!"

The keeper was finally reunited with her clan.

 

King of All Nugs turned to the final person left in the room,

That person has no clue what just happened and no idea where the 3 had gone.

He yelled after them, "Get over here yer fools!"

King of All Nugs said, "Wish Granted!"

...

[Proto]

They thought for a moment and the archer was the first one to speak up,

"I am afriad I don't really belong here.  I wish to go home to my family."

King of All Nugs said, "Wish Granted!"

The archer was instantly teleported back to his family.

 

But, the Archer was rescued after a bandit attack. He doesn't have a family. 

[lcneed]

But, the Archer was rescued after a bandit attack. He doesn't have a family. 

 

I guess I should do more research on the agent's backstory!    BTW, the orginal version was posted in Reader's Digest.