I don't get where suddenly this 'victory through sacrifice' theme is supposed to come from.
If we look at the trilogy, the only instances where there is a necessary/inevitable loss of life of allies is:
(This is the extended version, btw.)If we take only the ones that are actually of some meaning and involve a choice of some sort, the list is reduced to 3 entries [2,3,7].
- Eden Prime: Jenkins, Nihilus, Ashley's unit, and the one guarding Manuel and the other Doc (Actually plot devices, not related to any 'theme')
- Virmire: Ash xor Kaidan
- ME1 End: DA xor 5th fleet ships (Which belongs more into the 'Humans first vs Cooperation' theme)
- ME2 beginning: XO Pressley
- ME2: Colonists (Which is really more of an: 'Those evil guys are tots evil man, ebil I tell you!')
- ME3: Most/Every planet (Which again is a plot device to show how superior the Reapers are.)
- Tuchanka: Mordin/Padok vs Urdnot Bakara (+ maybe Wrex) (I thought the theme here is: 'Do you trust Krogans')
- Cerberus Coup: One of [Thane, Kirrahe, Salarian Councilor] (Introduction of Kai Lame -The only Cerberus goon able to kill someone with a name in ever)
- ME3 end: Anderson
That's not really that much instances (also pretty spread out) to constitute a major theme, imo.
(But at least its more than for 'Synths vs organics')
I would definitely include Mordin and Legion (and maybe Tali if you choose the geth) into the sacrifice theme. While the player has no direct control over their sacrifice, their deaths do massively promote the theme in ME3. Good people sacrifice themselves for their cause. In fact, I'd say it's very tough to make a non-cynical war story without including the theme of sacrifice to some extent.
If you are so inclined, you could even add all ME2 characters, that are willing to go on - what they perceive at the time as - a suicide mission. They bring their affairs in order first because there is a high chance that they won't come back after all. And if you play a certain way, you may have to sacrifice a lot on this mission. Of course, the fact that you can get through the mission without casualties mitigates this, even changes the theme from sacrifice to something akin to "we can beat even the worst odds" and just goes to show how the player's performance can change the theme.
No, the problem is not that the theme is not there. The problem is that due to all these choices and play styles, the story can be different for every player and the ending did not reflect that diversity. Hate to quote myself but before I write it all again, here is point 4 from my list of ending criticisms, which is on this issue:
4) A lack of variety that resembles the variety of moods within the series. Depending on whether you play paragon, renegade, paragade or renegon, whether you persuade a lot or not at all, you can actually change so much about the plot of this trilogy that its mood, its themes and maybe even its genre can change, depending on the player. A paragon may view it is a classic epic hero's tale, a renegade player may view it as a commentary on the dilemmas of leadership or maybe even view Shepard as an antihero. A non-persuading player may even view it as a string of tragedies where the protagonist is largely out of control. IMO, the endings do not offer choices that reflect all these moods and that variety. Some of them are catered to but some play-styles (my favorite ones included unfortunately) get left behind.





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