With the three choices, you [usually] have upper for Paragon, middle for neutral, and lower for Renegade. With this in mind, you should only know one response, not both - i.e you choose Paragon or Renegade or neutral and move on. It is done this way because the amount of game would get huge as your complexity increases. While we as gamers would like that, the reality is that it's too time consuming and cost intensive with the file sizes, all of the voice acting, etc. - especially for back in those days. As far as the romance options went, it wasn't too hard to avoid the pitfalls once you knew how to deal with them. There was more than one play-through when I had Ash and Liara in the comm room and I had to make a choice - even when I had not meant for that situation to happen.
ME2 is the one that had the huge "I think you deserved better than that", or "It's nice to see you smile" which was actually a sneaky hidden ninja romance dialog. Yes, we all ran into that, you know, I just wanted to talk to Tali, and then I have to tell her no I don't feel that way about you, and I feel bad about it because I did not mean to lead her on. Or, I just wanted to be nice to Jack, Miranda etc. Back in the day in the ME2 threads we had a lot of memes and jokes about the Normandy being "The Love Boat." Once you know the pitfall you can avoid them, and I sometimes would qucksave before talking to a romanceable character just to be safe.
All in all, its not perfect - but you can work with it. Ahhh, the nights I have spent on the Citadel with Ash or Liara, watching the Destiny Ascension go bye, or danced together in the Flux Casino. This game will take you to worlds with twin suns, one red, one blue and many other places. The Galaxy can be a very dangerous place - is the Alliance truly ready for this?