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[paramitch]

I can't help it. I can't be disengaged during gameplay or combat. I'm always in-character. So I always try to think of what the characters might be thinking during those times.

 

And (sorry) here are my impressions of those thoughts by our lovely Companions and general NPCs!

 

How 'bout you? What are your NPCs thinking?

 

What the DAI NPCs are totally thinking:

 

General NPCs:

 

It's easy to tell which is the Inquisitor. She's the one jumping the fence instead of using the damn stairs.

 

Why is she in her underwear again? Do you think she forgot to get dressed?

 

Oh, Maker, she just warped into the Throne Room again. Doesn't she care about appearances?

 

She's just standing there in the Tavern again. Listening to Maryden. Listen, we've all heard these 1000 times. Any chance we could speed things up?

 

Party members:

 

Cassandra: Oh, Maker, here she goes. Leaping again. Jumping all over the place.

Bull: She'll never get up there.

Varric: I think she likes jumping. Let her jump.

Cassandra: Yes, but this is just a waste of time. Look at that. She'll never reach it.

Varric: Don't tell her. She thinks she can do it. It's fine.

Cassandra: Yeah, but in the meantime we just stand here. Waiting for her to get tired of jumping.

Bul: Let's banter while we wait.

Cassandra: Fat chance.

Varric: Sigh.

 

Dorian: Why is she looting that poor dead person? That's just not right. Plus, ugh. The... yuckiness. The deadness.

Bull: Gotta pay the bills somehow.

Cassandra: Maker preserve us, it is necessary if a bit unseemly.

Bull: Oooh! A new sword!

Dorian: And look at this armor! Never mind, I'm fine with it.

 

Varric: Fantastic. She's going to talk to that idiot again.

Cassandra: She's talked to him three times in five minutes.

Solas: I regret to admit that we'll hardly ever get to resolve missions at this rate.

Varric: I know, and she hardly ever picks me anyway.

 

Varric: Seriously? Seriously? Aaaaand here we are running in circles again.

Solas: She does have the worst sense of direction I've ever seen. Although she does have other formidable mage gifts and abilities.

Cassandra: Sadly, it is true. She is lost. Again.

Varric: Aren't mages supposed to be able to enchant anything to become a compass?

Solas: Not this one.

Cassandra: Too bad she can't enchant Varric's head to become a compass. I'd like to see that.

 

Bull: WHY is she hitting that guy? He's six levels above her. And she's a MAGE, not a tank.

Cole: I know. She thinks she's a tank. Look at her go.

Dorian: Oh, dear.

Bull: Yeah, I know.

Dorian: Should we save her?

Bull: I dunno, it'd be kinda fun to let her bleed a bit more.

<all recoil>

Dorian: Head wound.

Bull: Called it. <pause> Ugh, okay, that's gross.

Cole: Help!

Dorian: We need to save her now or there won't be anything left.

Bull: On three: One, two, three... Into the breach to save our idiot Inquisitor!

 

Sera: Aw, Shite, it's you again. She always picks you.

Bull: I know. I've got good Guard.

Sera: I could have Guard but she never gives me the goodies.

Bull: She gives ME the goodies.

Sera: Oh, shut up. She totally looked at me yesterday. Up, down, sideways, yeah?

Solas: You are both highly misguided. I definitely think she's romancing me next time.

Bull: Honestly? I love her but hey, you can have her. She always has leaves in her hair. Or mud.

Solas: Unfortunately, he has a point. It's true.

Sera: Dirt washes out. I'm there.

 

Solas: Why doesn't she talk to me anymore?

Bull: She flirted with me all over the place at first. Now nothing.

Cullen: She flirted with me too. 

Josie: She flirts with everyone.

Solas: Yeah, but she picked ME.

Leliana: You do know she's two-timing you with Cullen, right?

Solas: WHAT?

 

Sorry. I"m a dork. What do you imagine your NPCs saying?

[GoldenGail3]

Artemis Lavellen:

 

Companions

 

"Oh, what is that elf doing?" Cassandra

 

"Jumping, apperately." Cullen

 

"He shouldn't jump, he'll harm himself." Cassandra

 

"Oh? Well, Artemis doesn't seem to be hurt though." Cullen

 

"Let him jump all he want's... " Varric

 

"Can i go jumping with him?" Sera

 

"That little elf seems more durable then i imaged, i expected he'd break like a twig when he jumped off anything." Iron Bull

 

"Ahaha! Maybe once he get hurt, he'll realize that jumping off of stuff isn't such a great idea." Blackwall

 

"If he get's himself hurt, i'll kill him myself!" Cassandra

 

 

 

 

 

General NPC's

 

Why is the Inquistor always with that Jenny? 

I kind of wish i could jump off of anything and not get hurt... Like the Inquistor

 

Why is the Inquistor dressed in armor? Is that very wise for a Mage to wear?

 

The Inquistor seems the most pre-occupied with our lady Seeker. Though, i do ship them! Artemis most likely has a romantic soul under that.... Brash personality of his.

[Ashaantha]

*somewhere in the frostback basin*

 

Dorian - who gave our beloved Inquisitor the map?

Varric - not me.

Dorian - we've been running in circles around this mountain for hours now...

Blackwall - Maybe she'll get tired soon and ask the Avvar back there for directions

Varric - We'll never be able to find those Avvar again, however

Dorian - *groans* just my luck, dying in the middle of a jungle because the Inqusiitor got us lost, as usual.

Varric - at least it's not as bad as that day in Emprise du Lion

Dorian - Do Not remind me about that!!!

Blackwall - we're still lost. Someone has to tell her.

Varric - I'm not saying a word.

Blackwall - we've passed that tree 5 times now. In both directions.

[Shizukai]

 

I can't help it. I can't be disengaged during gameplay or combat. I'm always in-character. So I always try to think of what the characters might be thinking during those times.

 

This.

Most of the times it is rather serious. I'm imagining conversations after important decisions. Or some talks at the camp fire when

they are on the journey for I don't think they make it back to skyhold before dinner every day.

 

Here are some humorous conversation/thoughts:

 

1.

Cole: Should we tell her that her torch went off as we passed the archway and all this water went down on us?

Bull: Nah… I think she knows it.

Solas: Indeed. It was not a normal fire that lightened our way in this dark ruins. As a mage, she surely FELT it perishing.

Inquisitor: … DAMN IT. CAN’T LIGHT IT. F***** TORCH-THINGY!

 

2.

Bull: …. It’s okay. Let her use her mount. We can walk. It. Is. Fine.

Solas: My feet are hurting badly.

Cole: Your feet are fine. You just need to work out a bit and-

Solas: STOP IT! I DO remember you EVERY TIME!

 

3.

Bull: She already passed out? After this few drinks? Damn…

Cassandra: Are you trying to poison the Inquisitor with your Qunari alcoholic liquids? Again? We talked about that!

Josephine: A lady surely shouldn’t drink that much.

Cullen: That was more than I could… uh, nevermind.

Solas: Disgusting. Letting the control behind in this easy-going manner? She should not have done that.

Bull: Do you never drink?

Solas: Not "never", but…

Bull: BUT! JOIN ME! ANOTHER ROUND!

Cassandra: Is he going to kill every mage within the Inquisition with this stuff?

Dorian: He could kill me anytime

 

4.

Inquisitor: Solas.

Solas: Stop. Jumping. On. My. Desk.

 

5.

Josephine: We just saved her clan and she isn’t even… happy about it?

Cullen: No reaction at all.

Leliana: Maybe she wasn’t very… popular back home?

Josephine: She is the first of the Lavellan's keeper!

Leliana: And yet they sent her away. To a dangerous place. Alone.

Cullen: No. Just… no.

[Nefla]

What do the random NPCs think? Probably things like "I wish I had a name" or "think I can trick the inquisitor into finding my lost garbage?"

[DarkAmaranth1966]

Scout Harding: Why's she so touchy about elfroot, she IS and elf after all.

 

Cassandra: If she would stop running into dragons' legs, she wouldn't need so many elfroot potions.

 

Sera: Magey, elfy magic blade shite need an arrow in it.

 

Cole: She misses him, he wants to come but, he can't.

 

Cassandra: She should have fallen in love with you, Bull, you both love killing dragons.

 

Sera: Magey, elfy, straight shite needs an arrow in it so I can have her.

 

Iron Bull: Nah, for a Dalish mage, she's pretty set on locking mages away.

[DarkAmaranth1966]

Okay, another one with my Shanda Lavellan and Cullen, the ONE time she actually did manage to get him to go adventuring and fighting with her, and discovered why she really should have left him at Skyhold.

 

Cullen: Nice show but, next time, don't drop that fade born hammer of your quite so close to me. (he's talking about veilstrike)

 

Shanda: You'd rather I let those three demos climb on your back? Suit yourself.

 

Cullen: No, it isn't that but, um, well the vibrations off that spell have side effects.

 

Shanda: Hmm, I wasn't aware of that, what side effects.

 

Cullen: Um, well, can you help me search this room?

 

*Slam, click. Cullen had slammed the door closed and, locked it before the others could enter the room.

 

Shanda: It's a good thing I love you or we wouldn't be doing this here.

 

Cassandra: What is the meaning of this? Commander? Inquisitor?

 

Varric: I think our commander needs to see our illustrious leader in private.

 

Cole: Yes, too tight, they were perfect when he put them on but, now they are too tight.

 

Cassandra: I need to have Solas explain privacy to you again, Cole.

 

Shanda: I can hear all of you out there!

[AlleluiaElizabeth]

My favorite:

 

 

Cassandra: Oh, Maker, here she goes. Leaping again. Jumping all over the place.

Bull: She'll never get up there.

Varric: I think she likes jumping. Let her jump.

[GoldenGail3]

Another.

"Oh so you and the boss? That tiny Elf doesn't stand a chance, does he?" Iron bull

"How would you know?" Inqusitor

"Yes, really how would you know?" Cassandra

"Cause, he only gets to sleep on the bottom." Sera

"Hey!" Inquistor

"Don't go hey me, Artemis. An I'm all about bottoms." Sera

"Hmmm... Your right, he does get the bottom though." Cassandra

Sera only snorted

[Zafireria]

Everyone at Skyhold "Oh noes she is jumping down again from the tower!"

 

I found out you can't die by falling down in Skyhold, so if I was in the tower Leianna is and I needed to get to ground floor I would just go outside the "balcony" and jump down. Did that pretty much everywhere XD

[DarkAmaranth1966]

Vivienne: Solas, you lit your coat tails on fire again.

 

Solas: I wouldn't have if I wouldn't have been trying to follow an invisible elf or just happens to be THE Inquistor.

 

Iron Bull: Chasing an invisible mage would be easier if she didn't jump off cliffs so often.

 

Solas: That would stop if you told the idiot behind the keyboard to turn off that no fall damage mod.

 

Inquisitor: Hush, I quite enjoy jumping off cliffs and, I'm certain you all appricate the fact that every creature in a zone does not attack us because it fell off a cliff near us.

[MrGDL87]

*A conversation in Skyhold's garden*

Vivienne: Inquisitor can you get rid of that useless piece of furniture. It has become quite the eyesore.

Inquisitor: You're pointing at Morrigan.

Vivienne: I know!!!

 

*Celene sees Vivienne enter the Winter Palace in a Nutcracker outfit*

Celene: How embarrassing, let's pretend we don't know her!

 

*Everyone sees the requisition officer down the road*

Sera: We are not doing another one of those requi-thingamajigs. It's boooorrrring!

Cassandra: Certainly, we are doing it for the Inquisition.

Varric: Trust the seeker to get excited over doing this sort of thing. I should introduce you to Sebastian.

Blackwall: There is nothing wrong with helping someone in need.

*Requisition is accepted and it is the Ferelden Cages*

Blackwall: Unless it's finding some locks (sighs)

Sera: Told ya! we should've left these sorts of things alone.

Cole: A burden which will never be lifted. The pressures of seeking the unattainable. I can help... FORGET.

*The inquisitor ignores this requisition and focuses on other quests*

 

*Vivienne looks into an eluvian in the Crossroads*

Vivienne: Mirror, Mirror on the wall...

 

*Inquisitor kills a harmless snowfleur*

Varric: Okay, so maybe we need to take a break as some people are a little er... bloodthirsty at the moment.

Inquisitor: What do you mean? We are just collecting some crafting material.

Varric: Yes, but how much material do we need? This was our 42nd snowfleur kill in the last 10 minutes.

Cole: This made me sad.

[Marika Haliwell]

The requisition officer made me die lmao; it was soo me!

[GoldenGail3]

Again (this time as a Female Mage Lavellan)

Solas: "Inquisitor why is that you aviod the Requisition officer?"

Lavellan:" They annoy me."

Solas: "I thought you liked all questions?"

Lavellan: "Not there's. They usually give me stupid other quests to go along side other stupid annoying quests that Leliana makes me do so that I have something do besides sitting on my arse in Skyhold all day..."

Solas: "I may have said something to Leliana about that...."

Lavellan smacks Solas with her staff, "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE REQUISTON PEOPLE ASKING ME TO DO STUFF?"

Solas ninja dodges his lovers staff, but then she decided to just charge him with it.

[MrGDL87]

Here are a few more :

 

*The party finds the item "Golden Horn"*

Inquisitor: Does anyone know what to do with this?

Iron Bull: I have an interesting idea. Hand it over.

Cassandra: You will look ridiculous with three horns on your head.

Iron Bull: Who said I was going to put it on my head?

Cassandra: Ugh! I shouldn't have asked.

Iron Bull: What can I say, I'm a horny guy!

Cassandra: (disgusted noise)

 

*Location: Fallow Mire*

Varric: So the Inquisitor decided to bring along her cheery dwarf companion into a filthy swamp knowing he can't swim.

Vivienne: No-one forced you to wade into waist height water, my dear. You should have stuck to the pathways like me. Besides, I don't think she heard you because she is venturing further in.

Varric: Hey...inq...tor...(gargles)

*Varric falls unconscious*

Vivienne: (sighs) I would come to the rescue but this is vintage Orlesian silk.

*The Inquisitor is oblivious to her surroundings and becomes unconscious after treading into treacherous waters*

Vivienne: So today's lesson is to keep to the footpaths.

 

*Location: Exalted Plains*

Varric: Okay kid, you have an insight into this type of stuff. What does one of these corpses think about?

Cole: Arrrrrrrggggggghhhhh!!!

Varric: Really? You're joking.

Cole: No, I'm Cole.

 

Iron Bull: Did the boss tell us to hold this position or follow? I can't remember.

Blackwall: Hmm, not sure. Let's return to be on the safe side.

*The party returns to the Inquisitor*

Inquisitor: What the hell are you doing!? I told you to hold your position.

Iron Bull: But you were being attacked by three enemies.

Inquisitor: It's called being tactical.

 

*After completing the Hinterland food quest*

Iron Bull: So Seeker after all those animals were slaughtered it was though we were... battering rams.

Cassandra: (disgusted noise) You know we should make you put a sovereign in a jar for every bad pun.

Iron Bull: You know what those refugees will be eating tonight don't you... Ramen.

Cassandra: Congratulations, that is your first donation to the jar.

 

Dorian: Vivienne, you claim to know high fashion correct? But yesterday, I had seen you wearing a dreadful plaidweave ensemble. It was terrible!

Vivienne: Fashion changes constantly, my dear. I have an entire wing at my estate devoted to my many different outfits.

Dorian: And I have no words for today's outfit. I can only describe it as some sort of barbarian war paint.

Vivienne: Your Tevinter background is preventing you to appreciate Orlesian style.

Inquisitor: That's enough Vivienne! I made you wear it.

Sera: (snickers)

 

 *Inquisitor is romancing Cassandra*

Varric: Did the Seeker just fall unconscious? I don't see any enemies around.

Cole: "A kiss will revive the fair maiden", Chapter 5.

Varric: Come to think of it, it does bear resemblance to one of my "Sword & Shields" chapters. Where the dashing hero revives his love with a kiss. You know what this means right?

Inquisitor: I thi...

Varric: I need to go over there and help her.

*Cassandra overhears and jumps to her feet*

Cassandra: I'm fine Varric.

 

Inquisitor: Varric, I wonder which rune we could use for your Bianca.  I know! we could use a master corruption rune which I made from those red lyrium pieces.

Varric: Really

[berelinde]

Vivienne: My dear, when I told you that I'd introduce you to my seamstress, I never intended that you should dictate my wardrobe.

Blackwall: She's doing you a favor. King's Willow Weave and Hardened Gurn Hide have outstanding protective qualities.

Vivienne: I'm surrounded by barbarians.

Inquisitor: *snickers*

[paramitch]

Another one that occurred to me with "Descent":

 

Inquisitor: Bastion of the Pure, here we come!

Cassandra: No! Not again. Oh, Maker, we're going back down there.

Sera: All the way down.

Bull: Dirty!

Cassandra: You may keep your jokes. I do not like this place.

Sera: All right, it's not much fun. Especially the fifth time. Stupid caves. And now we'll have to run the whole way back.

Cassandra: Again.

Bull: And it's dark. And creepy.

Sera: And wet.

Bull: I'll get fungus in my armor again.

Cassandra: Does it really matter if she doesn't find that last gear? No one will know.

Sera: She'll know. Stupid Inquisitorface.

[ModernAcademic]

 

I can't help it. I can't be disengaged during gameplay or combat. I'm always in-character. So I always try to think of what the characters might be thinking during those times.

 

Bull: WHY is she hitting that guy? He's six levels above her. And she's a MAGE, not a tank.

Cole: I know. She thinks she's a tank. Look at her go.

Dorian: Oh, dear.

Bull: Yeah, I know.

Dorian: Should we save her?

Bull: I dunno, it'd be kinda fun to let her bleed a bit more.

<all recoil>

Dorian: Head wound.

Bull: Called it. <pause> Ugh, okay, that's gross.

Cole: Help!

Dorian: We need to save her now or there won't be anything left.

Bull: On three: One, two, three... Into the breach to save our idiot Inquisitor!

 

Sera: Aw, Shite, it's you again. She always picks you.

Bull: I know. I've got good Guard.

Sera: I could have Guard but she never gives me the goodies.

Bull: She gives ME the goodies.

Sera: Oh, shut up. She totally looked at me yesterday. Up, down, sideways, yeah?

Solas: You are both highly misguided. I definitely think she's romancing me next time.

Bull: Honestly? I love her but hey, you can have her. She always has leaves in her hair. Or mud.

Solas: Unfortunately, he has a point. It's true.

Sera: Dirt washes out. I'm there.

 

Solas: Why doesn't she talk to me anymore?

Bull: She flirted with me all over the place at first. Now nothing.

Cullen: She flirted with me too. 

Josie: She flirts with everyone.

Solas: Yeah, but she picked ME.

Leliana: You do know she's two-timing you with Cullen, right?

Solas: WHAT?

 

Sorry. I"m a dork. What do you imagine your NPCs saying?

 

 

OMG THIS IS PURE GOLD!!!

[paramitch]

OMG THIS IS PURE GOLD!!!

 

Thanks so much! That made my day.

 

(And yes, I think way too much about what my imaginary game characters are thinking. I have issues. But they're fun issues.)

[MackyMac]

Artemis Lavellen:

 

What?!  I think Artemis Adaar and Artemis Lavellen should totes hang out. Oh the stories they could share... or not since they would largely be the same.

 

Okay, so here's one.

 

The scene: Walking in on Cullen who is praying in the chapel on the run up to the final fight with Corfy-face.

 

INQ: You know, for someone that is big on faith and Andraste neither you, Cassandra nor Lelianna or do anything to tidy this chapel.

 

Cullen: Why? What's wrong with it?

INQ: Really? Look at the state of it!

 

Cullen: Granted it's just a couple things-

INQ: Exactly! A fallen candle holder, a pew knocked over and askew, and this big friggin' iron chandelier just lying on the floor! You know those things are supposed to be up, right?!

 

Cullen: Look, I'm the commander of the troops-

INQ: Right! So you totally have the upper body strength... [sets pew upright] ... to fix these three... [hoists chandelier up] ... things. [Picks up candle holder] I mean, I don't even believe, but I still care how the Inquisition's chapel looks!

 

Cullen: ...

 

INQ: Argg! [storms off]

From behind the statue of Andraste: pffft, *snicker*  

 

Cullen: As amusing as that was, exactly how was that good?

 

Sera: It's simple if you don't spend all day on it General Grumpy-Pants! Now knock it all back down for when she comes in later, yeah?
 

Cullen [laying the pew over again]: I get it, sort of. I just don't get why I'm going along with it.

[paramitch]

A few more:

 

 

NPC comments:

 

She's always running. She never just walks. It's always, run, run, run.

 

She never shuts the door behind her. Why is that?

 

Why does she slouch down when she's on the throne? Like she's so tired of judging? She's only on the thing for 30 seconds per day, max, anyway.

 

"Why, hello Inquisitor, I -- wait? Where are you going? Why are you leaving the conversation? You never talk to me anyway. You could at least let me say my two stupid lines!"

[DarkAmaranth1966]

Shanda is seen leaning against the battlements outside Cullen's office AGAIN.

 

Cassandra: Is he in a meeting with his captains again?

 

Shanda: No, he told me to give him a minute, again but, it's been an hour and he's still in there.

 

Cullen: Shanda, meet me in your quarters in five.

 

Cassandra: Ten, I need to see you, Commander.

 

Cassandra opens the door to Cullen's office. Cullen is wearing a thing under his cloak and his boots, that's all.

 

Shanda: Creators! Were you.. Oh my room right, um going to the stable, I forgot something there.

 

Cullen: Maker's Breath.

 

Cassandra: Disgusted noise.

 

the next morning, the surgeon can't for the life of her fathom how both Shanda and Cullen ended up with welts from a horse whip and, no one saw either of them leave Skyhold.

 

Cullen: Why didn't you tell me you were taking lessons from Iron Bull?

 

Shanda: How was I to know you were taking lessons too? I wanted to surprise you.

 

Cullen: I think we both need more lessons - together this time.

[GoldenGail3]

What?!  I think Artemis Adaar and Artemis Lavellen should totes hang out. Oh the stories they could share... or not since they would largely be the same.
 
Okay, so here's one.
 
The scene: Walking in on Cullen who is praying in the chapel on the run up to the final fight with Corfy-face.
 
INQ: You know, for someone that is big on faith and Andraste neither you, Cassandra nor Lelianna or do anything to tidy this chapel.
 
Cullen: Why? What's wrong with it?
INQ: Really? Look at the state of it!
 
Cullen: Granted it's just a couple things-
INQ: Exactly! A fallen candle holder, a pew knocked over and askew, and this big friggin' iron chandelier just lying on the floor! You know those things are supposed to be up, right?!
 
Cullen: Look, I'm the commander of the troops-
INQ: Right! So you totally have the upper body strength... [sets pew upright] ... to fix these three... [hoists chandelier up] ... things. [Picks up candle holder] I mean, I don't even believe, but I still care how the Inquisition's chapel looks!
 
Cullen: ...
 
INQ: Argg! [storms off]
From behind the statue of Andraste: pffft, *snicker*  
 
Cullen: As amusing as that was, exactly how was that good?
 
Sera: It's simple if you don't spend all day on it General Grumpy-Pants! Now knock it all back down for when she comes in later, yeah?
 
Cullen [laying the pew over again]: I get it, sort of. I just don't get why I'm going along with it.

How so? I image Artemis Lavellan to not be very sociable to be honest; or is your Adaar the big Qunari version of Artemis Fowl. Mines a Male Mage that romanced Cassandra.

[MackyMac]

How so? I image Artemis Lavellan to not be very sociable to be honest; or is your Adaar the big Qunari version of Artemis Fowl. Mines a Male Mage that romanced Cassandra.

Oh, my comment was entirely superficial based on my immediate reaction to your Inquisitor and mine sharing a first name. It was silly, but I figured, "Bah, to heck with it I'll post it anyway."

As your Artemis is not very sociable I suppose it is unlikely they will hang out (assuming they got past the both being Inquisitors in the same time frame but from different yet nearly identical worlds thing)... unless my Artemis and Sera manage to get your Cas to go Bear Punching with them.

[GoldenGail3]

Oh, my comment was entirely superficial based on my immediate reaction to your Inquisitor and mine sharing a first name. It was silly, but I figured, "Bah, to heck with it I'll post it anyway."
As your Artemis is not very sociable I suppose it is unlikely they will hang out (assuming they got past the both being Inquisitors in the same time frame but from different yet nearly identical worlds thing)... unless my Artemis and Sera manage to get your Cas to go Bear Punching with them.

OH. Artemis Lavellan gets along well with Sera; he'd know how to strike back with force in mind (My guy is no fun. Actually he's way funnier then my HOF of that world, who's way too serious. I don't know about Hawke; I just created her on the keep.) Artemis also would enjoy watching them go fight bears; he'd love Aveline to be honest. But he did have a crush on Morrigan for some time... My g has a type.

And oooooooohh, my misake.