I really don't think the dance is that weird for a women. It's a set dance routine, with a "male" and a "female" role. There's no stigma against same sex couples in Orlais, so I'm sure those people all dance in a set dance in the same way, with them choosing which role to take. I agree it still makes more sense for a male character, but 30 seconds for a single animation doesn't overrule the other 149 hours for me, especially with what we got still seems believable. The Solas romance seems very plot central to me (much more than a dance with a lady you never see again), and that requires you to play a female character. So if I follow your logic, all that content in the romance is unique to a female Elf, still making it "best" for me.
I disagree that a plot is "human centric" just because it takes place in a human country. In order to be human centric, it has to have an actual affect on that species as a whole, or at least a country's culture (that is also your characters culture) or something of a similar scale. Eg. choice of Divine will affect this, the fact that a few quests reference the Free Marches don't.
The main plots for me are the main story missions and companions. The only plots I think are race related are (possibly) Orlais, the Divine stuff, Arbor Wilds, Solas. I don't feel that a human character has to care about Orlesian politics that much, especially if they are a mage. You can choose to play a character that would, but I don't feel like it is a default assumed option. If you compare that to the Elvhen stuff, as a Dalish Elf you are raised in a culture that has told you to be religious and care about the type of things that come up in the game. You can obviously choose not too, but your character has been told their entire life that they should. I disagree with your opinion of Mythal. I don't class any of those minor quests you mentioned being important enough to mention either way. You might visit a temple of Dirthamen, but you don't really learn anything there or do anything important or Elfy. So I don't think it supports an Elf Inquisitor. Same for the human stuff.
However, the events in the game completely crush the entire Elvhen religion, brings new meaning to some of the most important aspects of their culture, and you can date the villain, aka the most important companion to the plot. The Herald of Andraste also works better as a story for me if you play an Elf. If you are a typical human, being told you are sent by your God is a "good" thing. Good stories aren't about nice things happening to people. As an Elf, being declared the Herald for a human religion after they crushed your entire culture is horrifying. How will your people react to this - probably think you are a traitor and disown you! How will the humans react when they find out you aren't - probably kill you for daring to be an Elf and making a mockery of their faith! If you are human - people will just be kinda disappointed. One of those stories is more interesting than the other one. It's the one with the character who has the most to lose.
I know there's no stigma against it in Orlais, so then there should be a dance that is female with female. Right?
The 30 seconds are important though, so it doesn't matter that it was short compared to the hours of side questing and random running around. At least compare it to the main storyline play time. And that was just one obvious example, along with the Formal Attire. I can name others if you want.
Solas wasn't even planned to be a romance in the first place, but even taking his romance into account, the result is better with a human. This is because he will always leave a female elf at the eluvian no matter what. There is no special option to follow him. So ultimately there is no romance there. He dumps the elven female. This is the one way in which the elven playthrough tries to transcend the other races just for Solas to smack it right back down with the rest of them. The human by contrast has the more realistic story. The human can't leave with him because the human has no valid reason to do so. No BS reasoning required here for BioWare to maintain a manageable worldstate. Meanwhile, the human male can establish a strong friendship with Solas, and he can also continue his romance with Cassandra who was a plot-centric character. The result is one where Solas leaves on virtually the same terms, while the Inquisitor also gets to continue his romance with Cassandra. The elf female is left with nothing (as another thread here discusses). So no, the Solas content is not really female elf exclusive, as any Inquisitor can still get most of Solas' content. The only thing the elven female has is the break-up scene where she can possibly have her vallaslin removed.
And as far as being plot-centric characters, Cassandra has the clear edge over Solas. Cassandra is part of the Inquisition, and her efforts made it all possible in the first place. She also has side quests and side discussions that are more relevant to the main story. Solas saved you from himself and showed you Skyhold. That's it. And his side quests are more about measuring the Veil, communicating through dreams, and saving a spirit from being twisted from purpose. Other than that, its all about what he thinks about you as a person. Cassandra's content is tied to the main storyline and themes of the game. Matters of faith, how to close the breach, what happened with the Divine, what happened in the Fade, the Seeker order and bringing Lucius to justice, and how to take down Corypheus. Solas on the other hand, just gives advice, and lies to you constantly about himself. Is a romance with Solas really that different from one with Thom Rainier? The female first falls in love with a façade, and will be left alone in both cases, only to find out the horrible truth latter. At least Thom will come back if asked.
I just don't see the big deal about the Solas romance. He's lying about himself the whole time. So does the female elf really fall in love with him, I mean, the real him? He will tell such an elven female that he can't take her with him because he doesn't want her to see what he must become. He still hasn't shown her his true self. So the Solas romance just rings hollow, in my opinion.
Human countries. All of which have human problems to solve. Even the Temple of Mythal is there to solve the human problem of stopping Corypheus. So it isn't just that it takes place in human countries, it's also that the story itself is centered around humans and human groups. Mages in Redcliffe ally with Tevinter and require the human Dorian to solve. Templars in Therinfall are only approachable with the help of human Orlesian nobles. It wasn't unlike the second dispersal of the reclaimed Dales (Elven Herald:
). All the noble allies and political friends you get after Skyhold, all humans. Dealing with the Chantry, humans. Dealing with Orlais, mainly humans although some elven servants. Dealing with the Grey Wardens, humans. Who helps you take the Arbor Wilds? Humans. All the optional areas are also human-centric. Exalted Plains, the warring Orlesians. A few Dalish off to the side. Emprise du Lion, save the humans of Sarnia. Emerald Graves, make contact with Fairbanks and his human allies. Even the enemy factions are human. The Blade of Hessarian (which can then become allies), the Venatori, the Red Templars, the Freemen of the Dales, the Avvar, the Jaws of Hakkon, the Hinterlands bandits, etc. Heck, even the darkspawn are mostly Hurlock except in Descent.
Smart tactic, dismiss the two and a half elven missions as irrelevant along with the dozens of human missions. Orlais should be a concern to a human, mage or otherwise. Unless the human is just so far disconnected from politics of any kind and doesn't care about how many problems Orlais could cause for the Inquisition.
If you were raised to care about the elven faith, then that's just proof that the game doesn't fit a Dalish as well as a human. The human playthrough ends with the Maker's intervention still being a possibility in some way. The elven playthrough ends with the creators being myths. My female elf mage smacked down every Maker conversation there was, but in my mind still held true to the elven legends (told Cassandra what the Dalish believe) and even drank from the Well. Her special option against Corypheus? "I don't believe in gods." So it's basically the anti-Andraste human response imposed over the entire elven pantheon by default. You're telling me that fits?
Not sure if the events completely crush the elven religion, which even elves admit is fragmented and mostly lost to time (what is there to crush?), but it definately puts a twist on it. Plus, I feel there should have been an option to keep the faith. There wasn't though. Which as I wrote above is more proof that the human playthrough was given more consideration.
Date? You call going to a wyvern pit for a vallaslin removal and a break-up conversation to be a date? Candles, flowers, poetry, that's a date. Solas is not the most important companion to the plot, but his involvement was crucial to the game events taking place, I will admit.
That's your perspective though. What do the facts of the game say? Some see it as a good thing, but others despise the fact that people call you that. It makes less sense to give such a title to a Dalish survivor compared to a human, especially if that Dalish refuses the title, which according to backstory he or she would have every reason to refuse it, as you admit the Dalish was raised to be faithful to the elven pantheon. A human has more flexibility. A human can embrace it, thus causing more faith and more loathing. A human can also see the title as a bad thing, because it puts too much weight on the survivor. There will be all these expectations now. A Dalish can shirk those expectations much more easily. My male human mage took no stance, saying he didn't know, because he believed primarily in sticking to the truth and seeking out the truth. He knew that putting too much faith in something that important with so little evidence was reckless. So there are multiple ways to play that with a human. Not so much with a Dalish who should by all accounts have faith in elven beliefs. Plus, it makes more sense for human Andrastians to call a fellow human her Herald. Applied to a Dalish, dwarf, or qunari, the title loses some meaning. It also makes more sense that the title would stick to a human who refuses the title compared to a Dalish who refuses the title, because it's a human religion.
Your hypothetical storyline is negated by the opening sequence of stabilizing the Breach. You were only known as the Prisoner at that point, and everyone wanted to kill you no matter who you were. After proving useful, any such fears of retribution should be alleviated when people gather around to honor you. Then when you're told of your title you have four options to choose from. "It's... a little unsettling" is as "terrified" as you can sound. You're downplaying the human aspect. People might be more than disappointed in any Herald's case.