One could say the blaze started in the Second Blight when the Dales refused to come to the aid of Orlais.
Or with the disappearance of Ameridan.
Or Maferath's betrayal and the deaths of Andraste and Shartan.
Or Tevinter enslaving the elves to begin with.
Go back far enough, you'll find someone "who started it first"
What matters is "What do you do about it now?" Red Crossing was both humans and elves frakking it up for everyone. And until they both shoulder their equal share of the burden, they're going to just go on hating each other because someone's ancestor wronged someone else's ancestor.
I get what you are saying, but you could probably make the strongest case for Siona's sister being the starting point of this particular conflict based on it's relevance to the spark that started it.





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