71 Antworten in diesem Thema

[MrGDL87]

QUIET PLEASE MAKE IT STOP

 

 

Even your name made me think of a pun...

 

What happened when Joker took is LI to a local pub?...

She became the village EDIot.

 

Why do I make a lot of Mass Effect puns?...

I have too much space between the ears.

 

 

[MrGDL87]

What happened to Private Campbell in the Citadel DLC?...

She was mugged.

 

Shepard's pet is a celebrity... I heard there's a hamstar on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame.

 

Why shouldn't you kiss Diana?...

She has Allertosis.

 

Which side mission in Mass Effect 2 is infuriating to complete?...

Jarrahe Station because it can leave you pretty steamed.

 

In the Leviathan DLC, you should stick close to James because he knows hoe to get a head in life.

 

What did James say to the Volus in the Citadel DLC?...

"You want a pizza me!"

 

Shepard tried to surprise Tali but she already Zorah coming.

 

What did Shepard have in the Citadel DLC?...

A Clonic.

 

What did Wrex say to Subject Zero when offering some pastry?...

"Do you want some, pyjak".

 

Shepard went to get his/her hair cut and the scissors were too cold. Shepard said: "Hey! I wanted a thermal clip"

 

One Shepard class was an experiment of new ideas... it was the class of avan'guard.

 

How do Batarians rest their head to sleep?...

They use a Pillar Of Strength.

 

[MrGDL87]

Why does Garrus drink Whiskey?...

He always turns to the spirits in a time of crisis.

 

What did Renegade Shepard do with Liara's info drone?...

Pushed it off a glyph.

 

What's Kirrahe's favourite human song?...

Hold The Line - Toto.

 

The Peak 15 puzzle was also know as... the Tower Of Hanoi-ance.

 

Why should you avoid having sex with a Salarian?...

You might end up with a STG.

 

One type of heavy weapon does tremendous damage. Shepard likes m'cain carnage.

 

The Geth are probably good samurais because they have experience in hacking opponents.

 

Some Asari are elitist/classist snobs who look down on all the poorbloods.

 

Kasumi is thinking about being a pugilist when she retires... she will be known as 'Kasumi the Grayboxer'.

If you didn't like this Kasumi pun, you can Goto hell.

 

How much does Avina weigh?...

About a hologram.

 

[MrGDL87]

Why is Aria a social drinker?...

She tries to get everyone out on the lash.

 

Why don't Cerberus throw people in prison?...

They have a small number of cells.

 

Why doesn't Thane talk about his past?...

He doesn't like to Drell on history.

 

What happened when Tali went into the local antique collectors?...

She was thrown out because the owner is an antiquarian.

 

Did you hear about Bioware putting Harbinger on a pillow case?...

That's unexpected reapercussions.

 

What role did Legion have when escaping the Dreadnought?...

The Gethaway Driver.

 

What did Wrex say when the Krogan were cured?...

"Aralakh is finally changing"

 

[MrGDL87]

What does Subject Zero say when she wins a bet?...

JACKPOT!

 

How will Tali build her home?...

By Rock-et

 

Shepard used a heavy weapon against a thirsty opponent... because it was dehydrated.

 

Did you hear about the Hanar Gordon Sumner impersonator?...

It was Blasto The Jellyfish Sting.

 

Where do you find Mass Effect crops?...

In Mass Effect fields.

 

[MrGDL87]

What day did Shepard visit Haestrom?...

On Fryday.

 

Hackett: I've got a special job for you Shepard in Egypt on the canal.

Shepard: I cannot do that sir. I'm not doing another Suez-side mission.

 

What type of precipitation do Reapers prefer?...

Sove-rain

 

What did Javik say to Jack when looking at her head?...

"I can see you don't have a 'airlock"

 

What did Shepard say to the Blood Pack leader?...

"That's no way to Kreete me!"

 

Shepard's first introduction to Javik is... touching.

 

Shepard had a crew chat on whether to help Kahlee. The debate was... academic.

 

Morinth targeted a defenceless woman on Omega... she's a nefarious character.

 

A Mass Effect squad consisting of an Engineer Shepard, Tali and Garrus might be tech-ing things too far.

 

After the events of Mass Effect, The Illusive Man said Miranda always wanted to betray Cerberus. How did Miranda reply?...

She said it was a baseless accusation.

 

Shepard's final meeting with The Illusive Man and Anderson had varying tones. The Illusive Man wanted to turn the air blue and Anderson was seeing red.

 

What did Shepard say to the Quarian on Omega?...

"I Kenn help"

 

What did Shepard say when helping the Salarians on Omega?...

"Ish he for real?"

 

[iM3GTR]

I wish I could come up with these.

[MrGDL87]

Did you hear about the movie where Blasto plays a cannibal?...

He plays a character called Hanarbal Lecter.

 

The Protheans came up with the original idea though because they had a movie called... Hannicol Lector.

 

Some people didn't like the ME3 ending because it was too... childish.

 

Did you see Kai Leng's impersonation of a pigeon?...

It was during his coup attempt.

 

It's a dangerous place in the kitchen of the Normandy. Shepard wanted extra security and said "I want a gard-n-er".

 

Thane found out about Leng's drinking problem in the Citadel Coup. Thane was shocked to see Kai Leng'stab.

 

What make of harvester is popular among farmers across the universe?...

The Elkoss combine.

 

What does Harbinger say when he wants to drink from a cup?...

Assuming direct control of this vessel.

 

 

[Obliviousmiss]

That's talent, right there. 

 

 

This thread is gold.

[MrGDL87]

That's talent, right there. 

 

<snip>

 

I would say Nyreen is the Talon-ted character of the franchise .

 

Also you posted the first GIF in the thread! ...so this means you must be a GIFted individual yourself
 

[Oni Changas]

Mitch Hedberg would smile at this thread.

[MrGDL87]

What happened when Kal was struck by the Geth Colossus on Haestrom?...

Reegar-mortis set in.

 

What did Shepard say to Kaidan during the Coup standoff?...

"I see we have a Major problem today!"

 

[MrFob]

What did Shepard say to Kaidan during the Coup standoff?...

"I see we have a Major problem today!"

 

 

You mean as opposed to finding Victus on Menae which was more of a General issue?

[MrGDL87]

What sport did the Protheans excel at?...

Discus (well they did leave a lot of Prothean Discs all over the place )

 

Asari royalty expected some elegant transport but they were left disappointed because justicar was waiting.

 

Why did Shepard shoot the scientist?...

because he knew Mordin he should've.

 

Exo-geni corporation is a place that collects useless magical lamps.

 

What race is good at handling a football?...

The Keepers

 

 

[MrGDL87]

Why was EDI shocked when she was at the VI stage?...

 

She got mooned.

 

[MrGDL87]

If Harbinger wanted to play Mass Effect 2, it would play the... Collector's edition.

 

Benezia went to Noveria because it Peaked her interest.

 

[MrGDL87]

How did Shepard find out about Project Overlord?...

By seeing David on the extranet.

 

And what did David say to his rescuers?...

"Atlas-t you're finally arrived"

 

How do Eskimos keep out the sun?...

They put a snowblind round their igloo.

 

Shepard wanted to know where Grunt found an acorn. Grunt points to the nearby tree and says: "From the Okeer!"  

 

Jedore is a French character I love.

Spoiler

I was thinking on the lines of the French word J'adore which means 'I love' in French which sounds similar to Jedore  

 

Some of clan Urdnot have started intertwining materials in their spare time. Thy call this pastime Wreaving.  

 

[MrGDL87]

Where does Victus go for clothes shopping?...

Primarch

 

How did Okeer make a sandwich?...

He put some filling between some tank bred.

 

[MrFob]

What's the spirit animal of infiltrator Shepard?

A Praying Mantis

 

Legion is a terminal of the geth. He was particularly terminal to merc bands, collectors and heretics.

 

When Legion filled his tax form, he made a mistake. Under marital status, he ticked the box for "widowed".

 

Who is the most oldschool computer user on the Normandy? Thane. Instead of a haptic interface, he still uses a Mouse to get his information.

 

After Urz teamed up with Shepard on Tuchanka, the council bestowed an honorary title on the faithful pet. Later historians got confused and thought Urz developed the video game Deus Ex. After all, he was the first Varren Spectre.

 

When Shepard's team reached the override of Vulcan Station during the Project Overlord mission, they quickly disarmed the LOKI mech guarding it.

 

You have to admit, Kane used the Specters long before Spectres used the Cain. (Sorry but I had to give a Nod to the C&C franchise)

 

Krogan proverb: Qualis Wrex, talis grex

 

What do you call a bicycle with a seat, specifically designed for krogan anatomy? A quad bike.

 

Why did Gavin Archer never ask Shepard to work in the kitchen? Because Shepard always broke the dishes.

[MrGDL87]

What did Shepard say when releasing Dr Archer's brother?...

"Now, I have your un-davided attention"

 

What did Grunt say when getting releasing?...

"Tank you!"

 

Which country appreciates the Quarian companion the most?...

Itali

 

What did Traynor do when the Normandy was overrun with enemies?...

She brushed the whole thing off!

[MrGDL87]

Which type of healthy dessert is popular in hospitals?...

A medi-jelly

(or the American equivalent of a medi-jello)

 

How do Salarians describe others with an emotionless face?...

They say they have two Solus black eyes looking back at them.

 

Who do the Asari consult with if they want to make a paella?...

Serrice Council

 

[MrGDL87]

What did Falere say to Rila when Rila wanted to leave home?...

Stasis!

 

Who is the most popular green singer in the universe?...

Adrell

(she takes a break on the Citadel)

 

What is a common question on Dekuuna?

Is it an Elcor moose?

 

What does a greedy Hanar say when out on a shopping spree?...

"This one would like this one and this one and this one..."

 

[MrGDL87]

Why can't you walk to Peak 15?...

It was a 'snow go' area.

If a guard caught you, they're obligated to shout "Freeze!".

(Icy, what you did there )

 

How does Shepard describe the amazing Macha Doyle?...

"Water Woman!"

I wouldn't stand too close to her though because she has a pumping problem.

 

What type of drink is Shepard familiar with?...

Shots

Miranda's not to be outdone though as I've overheard her saying her shots were fired.

 

A person who doesn't like pistols may prefer the automattock.

 

[MrGDL87]

What type of TV programmes does Javik like to watch?...

Anything on the Dark Channel.

 

And where do Andromeda fans get their news?...

From the TV: D'ark Channel

[MrGDL87]

Why shouldn't you take David Archer to the woods?...

He gets easily distracted and always tries to find square roots.

 

What is the Consort's bashful alter ego called?...

Shy'ira 

 

How does Harrot encourage visitors to his emporium?...

By having Omega sale.

 

Where would you find singers on the Citadel?...

Chorus Den

 

Morinth: Have you heard about this Elcor artist?

Nef: It's something I've forta-bout

 

Why are the Rachni expert tea makers?...

Because they have specialists known as brewed warriors.

 

What are fans of the Apex predator known as?...

Leviafans

 

How did Thane find Kolyat?...

Well, first he had to lay down a mousetrap.

 

Why is Morinth so special?...

Her jeans are different from most other Asari.

 

What is Jona Sederis's favourite song?...

Total Eclipse Of The Heart.