Meet the Ineffectual Comedic Villains: The Black Dog Pirates

Trokka Bauche Vespa Razorgrin Captain Blessed Cragimeister Navareen Nevermourn

The game's reoccurring enemies/running joke are a band of pirates hired by Isho Oroshi to harry the Sword Coast. While they are well funded, reasonably competent and, (relatively), powerful, these brigands are hilariously out of their depth when confronting the likes of the Knight Captain. The result of any match up should be a solid drubbing - played largely for comedic effect. Over the course of the adventure, the players will meet and battle the rogues four times:
- Encounter 1: They player will aid Terukawa against the rogues when he's initially recruited in Highcliff. Captain Blessed and his scurvy crew are trying to conscript the unwilling Ronin just as the Knight Captain appears on the scene. When confronted, the player will have the option of allowing them to either capture the foreigner, bribe them to take a hike or stomp the pirates into the mud. Expect a heaping pile of bloviation and insults from the gang - which should make knocking them around all the more delicious.
- Encounter 2: When the Knight Captain investigates the piracy besieging the Sword Coast, they will end up raiding The Black Dog's island base. Naturally, Captain Blessed and all his forces will engage in a contest of blades, wits and an extra-large helping of HAM. After receiving a second tub-thumping, the Black Dog Pirates will use the chaos to flee in their last ship - swearing that NEXT TIME, the battle will go differently!
- Encounter 3: When returning to Neverwinter from the Tomb of Horrors, Blessed and his crew will waylay the Vigilant II, seeking retribution for the destruction of their fleet and the massacre of the pirate army. The result should be a crushing defeat - despite the band's obnoxious claims of gaining great power since the last clash.
- Encounter 4: After the wedding, (or the victory celebration, depending on romance... or lack-there-of), as the Knight Captain sails off into the Sunset, the pirates will attack his ship one final time - in this instance, completely ignorant of who's aboard. Having been positively trounced, the Black Dogs have given up their vendetta, and are merely looking to engage in some good old fashion low-risk plundering. Unfortunately, Lady Tymora is not smiling upon Captain Blessed. As the rowdy corsairs latch their boarding grapples to the Vigilant II, and prepare to board, the Knight Captain and his/her lover walk up on deck investigate the ruckus. Now is a perfect time to bark Gann's "Shall we... indulge ourselves?" or Safiya's "My magic will erase this... nuisance." Cue the pirate's jaws hitting the floorboards, and give the player the chance to select one final quip, as they charge into battle - "for old time's sake," - roll end credits.
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Purpose:
The Black Dog Pirates serve as "breather" encounters, allowing players some catharsis - at the expense of deserving antagonists. The game will get tedious if reduced to nothing but a parade of exceedingly difficult battles against god-like opponents. The Pirates and their flunkies are hopelessly outmatched, but their refusal to quit, backed by a large helping of hammy overacting, weird personalities - and unwarranted Ego - should keep these routs amusing. The Knight Captain and companions are some of the most powerful people on the planet - their player(s) deserve to enjoy the occasional curb stomp.
Captain Blessed: The CAPTAIN
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Race: Human
Class: Swashbuckler 25
Preferred Weapon: Curved Short-sword
Age: 55
Personality:
Captain Blessed is A LARGE HAM. He's flamboyant and absolutely over the top in every possible way, chewing the scenery like Jeremy Irons and BRIAN BLESSED staring together in a Uwe Boll film. The man is a radical dreamer - his estimations of his crew's capability and reality stand in stark contrast, not that this will ever stop them. As the game opens, the man is utterly fearless, and is sailing high after pillaging the Sword Coast to near economic ruin. That said... by the end credits.... he will certainly learn to be afraid!
Trokka Bauche: First Mate
Alignment: Lawful Evil
Race: Human
Class: Fighter 15, Frenzied Berserker 10
Preferred Weapon: Warclub
Age: 34
Personality:
Trokka is the stoic and sole voice of reason among the Black Dog Pirates. Captain Blessed freed him from vicious slavers in Chult, and he became the first member of the pirate's "crew." Trokka is the man behind the logistics and planning of the entire pirate fleet. Without this towering giant, Captain Blessed and his crew would have never ventured much beyond the first grog-house they crashed into. While Blessed and his rogues charge into battle screaming, Trokka is planning escape routs and fall back positions. Despite his occasional exasperation, Trokka considers himself eternally in Captain Blessed's debt, and does his best to help the maniac succeed in his outlandish dreams.
Navareen Nevermourn: Second Mate
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Race: Halfling
Class: Invisible Blade 10, Mage 10, Rogue 5
Preferred Weapons: Dual Rapiers
Age: 39
Personality:
Navareen is a classic sh*t-talker and braggart. While he is genuinely brilliant with his blades, the halfling tends to forget that he's four-feet-four standing on a stool and seventy-two pounds soaking wet. He's positively enamored with starting verbal conflicts - which typically escalate to bloodshed - and will happily jump into duels with brutes many times his weight-class. Navareen is not above starting a fracas and letting Trokka or Vespa settle it - much to the former's annoyance. More than once, the halfling has been "accidentally" abandoned at a port of call - but somehow... it never seems to take.
Vespa Razorgrin: Third Mate
Alignment: Chaotic Evil
Race: Wild Elf
Class: Rogue 15, Shadow Dancer 10
Preferred Weapons: Dual Daggers
Age: 74
Personality:
Vespa is the newest member of the crew, third mate and an irredeemable psychopath. She thrills in senseless torture and at some point her brain was magically "rewired wrong." (She experiences physical pain as toe-curling pleasure and anyone battling the elf is in for a highly disturbing experience - assuming they survive her vicious onslaught). Vespa is positively morbid when engaged in conversation, and the only person who can stand her is Trokka, who values her as a potentially expendable spy and assassin.
Craigmeister: Helmsman
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Race: Yuan-ti
Class: Favored Soul
Preferred Weapon: Heavy Crossbow
Age: 22
Personality:
Craigmeister is the helmsman and navigator of The Black Dog Pirate's flagship. He's good behind the wheel, knows his way around a sextant and is a cloudcuckoolander when it comes to his gadgetry, (which combust roughly as often as they work). Given his general personality, Craigmeister was an exceptionally poor fit with Yuan-ti society, and fled as a youth - before his kin could ritually sacrifice him. Rescued by Lantanese gnomes, he was encouraged to explore his creative vision, and explore it he did. (Assuming one considers "explore" a reasonable substitute for "explode"). In fact, Craigmeister "explored" his tent, most of the camp and large portions of the defensive barrier into tiny pieces. Twas a somewhat bad day as the dinosaurs charged though the breech and ate his gnome companions. "Oh well!," the Yuan-ti thought to himself, "Life's too short to dwell on minor missteps and slight miscalculations!" While he's not exactly "evil" Craigmeister has absolutely no understanding of "right and wrong" as most others would comprehend it. This makes him both highly entertaining and extremely dangerous.