As the party wanders through the ToH, they will run across numerous taunting notes from everybody's favorite Demi-lich. He's watching... and deriving sick pleasure from every broken bone, injury and fatality.
Here are a few examples of our evil party-host enjoying himself far too much at the player's expense:
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TITLE: An Uplifting Note
MESSAGE: Dear uninvited guests... can you fly?
As light as a feather, your friend,
A.
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TITLE: You really fell for that?
MESSAGE: You fell for the old Mimic-treasure-chest-trap? Truly? That's rather... embarrassing actually. Seriously... a Mimic? Why... that's practically remedial bush league adventuring 101 there... don't you kids carry around ten-foot poles anymore?
Your Oh-So-Very Disappointed Host,
A.
PS: Free advice - track down whoever taught your adventuring classes and kill them. Or at least sue them for gross malpractice.
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TITLE: An I.O.U. from A.
MESSAGE: Oh dear - why I do believe I owe you robbers - pardon.... "adventurers" - a nice shiny bauble! I seem to have misplaced this one. Better luck next time!
Affectionately,
A.
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TITLE: The Lowest of the Low
MESSAGE: What seems to be the problem? They're JUST Kobolds after all...
With glee,
A.
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TITLE: Now You're Just Getting Greedy
MESSAGE: You stagger forth, looting all you see, still paying no heed to the consequences... perhaps another object lesson is in order. Enjoy playing with my... friends.
Your instructor,
A.
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TITLE: A Gloating Note from A.
MESSAGE: Please note that I am watching you this very moment.... and I knew beforehand I could engrave the exact contents of this container on the lid - and you'd still be so foolish, greedy and impulsive as to curse yourselves. Delicious!
Yours Truly,
A.
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TITLE: A Cargo Manifest from A.
MESSAGE: Oh... that's unfortunate. Why... it seems as if I intentionally filled these boxes with piles of broken and useless junk - the remains of your predecessors. I know you were expecting a glittering Vorpal Blade, or perhaps the Hand of my great lord and master Vecna... too bad. I am savoring the look of profound disappointment on your faces right now. Who knows... maybe you have a future in the scrap market...
...assuming you have a "future" at all...
Sincerely,
A.
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TITLE: A Gleeful Letter from A.
MESSAGE: I delight in the way you simpletons jump about and scream when shot with poisoned arrows or when being set on fire.
Regards,
A.
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TITLE: You Fell Into a Pit!
MESSAGE: Oh dear, it seems you fell in a pit! How dreadful! You poor little dear... all skinned up and battered like a bruised apple! There there now - I am sure your friends can figure out a way to save you... they look like the sort that are... well, actually... no ...they look quit daft now that I really consider it.
Perhaps you should consider making long term living arrangements.
With Love,
A.
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TITLE: You Fell Into a Pit!
MESSAGE: Another day, another hole. You really should be more careful - if you keep tumbling down these pits you're liable to break something... and you know how I positively get the vapors at the sight of shattered limbs!
With All Due Respect,
A.
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TITLE: You Fell Into a Pit!
MESSAGE: You should have seen the look on your face when you slid into this one. I thought your eyeballs were going to leap straight from your skull - and the cute little "eeeeeeeekkkkkkkk" noise you made while plunging into the dark abyss was endearing.
Just a bit of friendly advice... perhaps you should invest in a feather fall spell, as you seem to have this unusual proclivity for falling into pit-traps.
Highly Amused,
A.
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TITLE: You Fell Into a Pit!
MESSAGE: As you bounced off the pit's walls, I amused myself by imagining the sound of a squeaky rubber pet toy every time you hit a hard surface.
Gratified,
A.
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TITLE: A Sympathy letter
MESSAGE: That's too bad about your magical equipment and all. Don't worry... I shall see to it that your cornucopia of enchanted items goes to a worthy cause - ME!
Playing With Your Toys,
A.
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Acererak is a titanic jerk-ass with a heart-made-of-jerk.
