1933 réponses à ce sujet

[vertigomez]

I honestly don't understand asking people you barely know personal questions. Then again, I don't really get the over-sharing modern internet culture, so... =/

I think in the case of asking about paramours, it's less that people are trying to be intrusive and more that they're trying to make small talk and making assumptions without even questioning them. Like, they don't even think of them as being personal questions because it's just casual chatting.

If you're a woman and a friendly acquaintance or coworker wants to make conversation with you, they'll go, "Oooh, tell me about your date! What was he like?" or "You're single? Let me set you up with my friend Rob! You'd look so cute together!"

Because you must be actively looking for a relationship, and you're also automatically heterosexual.

[Grieving Natashina]

@Gomez. Wow. At least she isn't boring? People really can be that nuts.

We live in a world where, in my home state, a lady responded to a craig's list ad. The person that ran the ad was pregnant and well...the lady that responded to the ad attacked her. Cut her child out of her womb (she was almost full term) and claimed that it was because God loved the woman so much that the lady had to take her baby. The attacker is in prison for life, but unfortunately the would-be mom cannot have children due to her injuries.

Speaking of anti-vaxxers, my childhood friend has become one. We've known each other off and on for over 25 years. We met when she was 10. She's a sweet creative loving person...who goes down as one of the crazier women I ever dated. Her whole family is nuts. Not in a fun quirky sort of way, but certifiable. There's a reason why I mentioned that.

So, she lives a couple of states away now and we got to talking. She was telling me about her sister's 7 year old little boy and that "vaccines made him autistic." Her reasoning?

1) The kid is super-duper smart
2) He's not good with people
3) He wanted some baby bunnies that one of the neighbors had. The condition was that he needed to feed them and since he acted like a good kid, they trusted him. Well, he allowed a bunch of baby bunnies to die of hunger because he lost interest in caring for them. His reaction? A causal shrug and a statement that he got bored. He chuckled when he noticed that the adults were freaked out.
4) He's scary-good at math and science. Like tested at a high school level.
5) A psychiatrist evaluated the kid. He'd asked the little boy to start adding some big numbers for him. The kid started adding other numbers. When the psychiatrist politely asked for the total of the numbers he'd given, the kid smiled and said, "Sorry, I don't feel like it."

Remember, this is a 7 year old child.

Now, I'm not claiming to be an expert on autism or any sort of shrink but...that doesn't sound like autism to me. I have friends of mine on the austim spectrum and that doesn't fit. What it does sound like is a sociopath and my friend blames vaccines. <facepalm>

[HuldraDancer]

About the people assuming you're straight and looking for relationships as a source of small talk, I got asked about that on my second day of work, the day I got into a car crash on my way to work. Apparently I need to get out more and go clubbing or something since I never been on a date before, because that's what I should be worrying about after a wreck and trying to not call of work due to the pain. Actually my aunt was pretty bad about it too before I got hired asking me what kind of men I like, do I prefer white guys or black guys, etc. Maybe it's just the kind of person I am but I always found those questions to be odd, even more so in those kind of conditions. I was applying for work not a dating site.

[Grieving Natashina]

About the people assuming you're straight and looking for relationships as a source of small talk, I got asked about that on my second day of work, the day I got into a car crash on my way to work. Apparently I need to get out more and go clubbing or something since I never been on a date before, because that's what I should be worrying about after a wreck and trying to not call of work due to the pain. Actually my aunt was pretty bad about it too before I got hired asking me what kind of men I like, do I prefer white guys or black guys, etc. Maybe it's just the kind of person I am but I always found those questions to be odd, even more so in those kind of conditions. I was applying for work not a dating site.

<honorary sympathy like>

When I was in my 20s, I used to get this question all the time from strangers and my husband's family: When are you going to have kids? I would calmly explain that I was indeed in a happy marriage, but kids were off the table due to genetic reasons. The answers varied. A few suggested adoption, which is very expensive. We looked into it and it was $20,000 just to get started.

Then it was, "Oh well, you could get pregnant if you want to, right? What do you mean you have no interest?" The very idea that kids weren't apart of our long term plans in anyway blew their mind.

The worst was being told by someone that was pregnant, "You're just selfish and that's why you don't want kids." Um, no. I actually really like kids and love spending time with them. However, my husband and I knew that we wouldn't make good parents. Plus, fun stuff like Celiac's and PKU runs in Sasquatch's family among other things and we weren't going to risk that happening to our kid.

Still catching up on the thread. The "gay lifestyle" question is one that I hate as well. I'll post about that one later.

[HuldraDancer]

I hate having to talk kids with anyone I always get a certain look when I mention never wanting children or the always classic 'It's different cause it's your kids you'll understand when you have them'. I don't necessarily dislike children but I don't have the patience for them, nor would I want to spread my genes around as they're pretty shite genes. I recall one time I was looking into selling my eggs for extra cash, you would of thought that I was dealing hard drugs to grade schoolers with the way most of the family reacted. Luckily for them I couldn't dig anything up other than egg donation (which I would get turn down for) so that ended up being a bust. 

[Grieving Natashina]

Oh gods, I ran into that one too. "Once you have kids, you'll understand." I'm thinking, "Lady, there is scary genetics going on with our familes. Crap with proper names that cause all sorts of issues. I don't want to understand, kay?" When folks found out that Sasquatch took himself out of the gene pool permanently, it was like we burned the nation's flag or something. "Why didn't you try to stop him?" Because I didn't want to. "You're too young, and you don't understand what you're doing." I spent almost two years during my engagment coming to this decision. We had agreed on our course of action before our marriage.

I wouldn't go so far as doing anything with my eggs. It isn't for moral reasons, the surgery is just far too invasive. The recovery time can be long, so I'd pass.

[Steelcan]

I'm not getting those questions, probably cause I'm not even 21 yet

[HuldraDancer]

I'm not getting those questions, probably cause I'm not even 21 yet

 

I"m surprised, I got those questions while still in highschool I think it started when I was around 16 or 17. 

 

Then again I knew pretty early one I didn't want children.

[Donk]

The thing that always annoyed me is whenever I'd make good friends with a guy everybody around would say, "oooooh you like him, love is in the air." etcbased solely on the fact that I was getting along and pal-ing around with somebody of the opposite sex. It gets awkward.

[Panda]

Speaking of anti-vaxxers, my childhood friend has become one. We've known each other off and on for over 25 years. We met when she was 10. She's a sweet creative loving person...who goes down as one of the crazier women I ever dated. Her whole family is nuts. Not in a fun quirky sort of way, but certifiable. There's a reason why I mentioned that.

 

Well after Narcolepsy fiasco with swine flu vaccines I'm careful with new vaccines for sure which makes me more understanding for those that are anti-vaxxers. Basically swine flu vaccines were just used too quickly without proper testing which resulted in one of ingredients of vaccine to react with certain gene that some people had in way that developed narcolepsy. It's scientifically proven at this point and not just assumed by conspiracy theorist although it took sometime before goverment even was willing to investigate..Other than that vaccine had multiple symptoms that were passing and not dangerous, but still annoying and weren't told to people who took vaccines before hand. I took it as well and had high fever + my arm that it was shot ached so much that I couldn't use it for days. No lasting damage for me, but after that I think I'll just stay with the more traditionally and throughly tested vaccines that everyone gets ^^;

 

In the end- I do kind of get anti-vaxxers after that. Vaccination can potentially be dangerous so it's good to have some information before it- but most of time it's more dangerous not to get one.

[Evamitchelle]

Well after Narcolepsy fiasco with swine flu vaccines I'm careful with new vaccines for sure which makes me more understanding for those that are anti-vaxxers. Basically swine flu vaccines were just used too quickly without proper testing which resulted in one of ingredients of vaccine to react with certain gene that some people had in way that developed narcolepsy. It's scientifically proven at this point and not just assumed by conspiracy theorist although it took sometime before goverment even was willing to investigate..Other than that vaccine had multiple symptoms that were passing and not dangerous, but still annoying and weren't told to people who took vaccines before hand. I took it as well and had high fever + my arm that it was shot ached so much that I couldn't use it for days. No lasting damage for me, but after that I think I'll just stay with the more traditionally and throughly tested vaccines that everyone gets ^^;

 

In the end- I do kind of get anti-vaxxers after that. Vaccination can potentially be dangerous so it's good to have some information before it- but most of time it's more dangerous not to get one.

 

For yearly vaccines or brand new one, sure it makes sense to wait until more information is available. But one of the anti-vaxxers biggest targets is the MMR vaccine, which has been used since the early 70s by millions of people. Now preventable diseases which had been almost eradicated are making a comeback. I find it kind of hard to sympathize with them when it puts their own children and other vulnerable people at risk.

[daveliam]

I'm sorry, but I have to rant about my paranoid coworker. I wish she was just ******* with me, but she's not. She's not just a conspiracy theorist, she's like... ALL THE CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

She's gone on and on before about how every politician is a Satanist, and Obama is actually the third Obama (the original is dead and these last two were lizard people clones). She's an anti-vaxxer who believes earth is on a collision course with planet Nibiru, which the Illuminati wants for... some reason.

This morning she was telling me about microchips in vaccines that are activated via satellite, and whose sole purpose is to cause more pain in people who already suffer from chronic pain. The microchips contain the Number of the Beast. She knows this because her boyfriend got a vaccine after a lying doctor diagnosed him with cancer (which was a LIE!! because he failed a pregnancy test), and he got a rash all over his body after they ate Kentucky Fried Chicken that was loaded with MSG (don't ask me how this is related). Domino's Pizza is in on it too - the logo falling off in the commercial is symbolic of how much they want to kill us, "like the domino effect."

I CAN'T HANDLE THIIIIIIS. It would be hilarious if she wasn't dead ******* serious. So it's just terrifying instead.

 

This is both hilarious and tragic at the same time.  I'm not sure if she's just wacky or if she has some mental health issues. 

 

I'm not getting those questions, probably cause I'm not even 21 yet

 

You're not even 21 yet?  How is that possible?  (I mean, I know how it's possible)  You are definitely a old soul.

 

For yearly vaccines or brand new one, sure it makes sense to wait until more information is available. But one of the anti-vaxxers biggest targets is the MMR vaccine, which has been used since the early 70s by millions of people. Now preventable diseases which had been almost eradicated are making a comeback. I find it kind of hard to sympathize with them when it puts their own children and other vulnerable people at risk.

 

I have zero patience for anti-vac parents.  Just like I have zero patience for climate deniers.  In fact, I'm working on creating a new graduate course for teachers that specifically targets "controversial topics in science" and how to teach them.  We'll cover both of these plus evolution.  The fact that I have to call them "controversial" in the first place is mind-numbingly frustrating.  The fact that I live in one of the truest bluest states in the country and my students are teachers (all of whom, by law, already have graduate degrees) and I still have to address these "controversies" makes me question what I'm doing with my life sometimes. 

 

Totally unrelated topic:  I ran my first (and last) 5k yesterday for Brooklyn Pride.  It was awesome to see hundreds of people showing up early in the morning for a charity run and supporting LGBT issues.  I was feeling pretty damned good yesterday.  Then I woke up this morning to find out that last night, in Orlando, 20+ people were killed and another 42 people were hospitalized when an armed gunman attacked a gay bar.  Authorities said it might have been motivated by religious extremism.  Now I'm not feeling so good.....

[nightscrawl]

^ >.< yeah I first heard about it shortly after the incident started when there were mainly injuries. Or, mainly injuries reported, I suppose, since this was from witness and people who had managed to escape. I was hoping it was going to get resolved before it got too bad. Several hours later it's all over with 20 dead.

 

Check out the Orlando Sentinel's reporting on it. IMO local papers with their local contacts are usually best at these things.

[vertigomez]

I can't think of anything beyond that shooting, right now.  50 dead, and just as many injured. How senseless. How awful.

[daveliam]

I can't think of anything beyond that shooting, right now.  50 dead, and just as many injured. How senseless. How awful.

 

So apparently the shooter may have been motivated by his anger at seeing openly gay men kissing in Orlando recently.  But "it has nothing to do with religion".  50+ lives lost because of virulent homophobia. 

 

I can't wait for someone to tell me how, now that marriage equality "has passed", the gay rights issue is over.......

[nightscrawl]

Here is an unexpected tidbit: an Orlando area blood center is temporarily lifting the ban on accepting blood from gay men in the wake of the shooting. Perhaps it will lead to a greater discussion of the ridiculousness of the ban and the FDA will revoke it...

 

 

[edit]

I do know that it's only a partial ban these days and that one has to not be sexually active for at least a year, but that just seems lame to me. How do they [donation centers] know, you know? They're going to screen the blood anyway, so just take it all.

 

[edit2]

*SIGH* It seems as if those initial reports were erroneous. At one point an Orlando city commissioner even repeated it on MSNBC, so no wonder people thought it was legit.

Modifié par nightscrawl, 12 juin 2016 - 05:30 .

[Lady Artifice]

This is easily one of the most substantial and discussion worthy topics we've ever broached in this thread--but unfortunately that means it makes some of the mods antsy. Let's just be cautious here.

[Hellion Rex]

I can't think of anything beyond that shooting, right now.  50 dead, and just as many injured. How senseless. How awful.

It honestly just hurts my heart to think about it right now. I can't even watch the news right now.

[Dani100]

I hadn't seen the news today when I came here earlier to check on the group and quickly turned on the news. It's sickening and I hurt for the dead and injured and for all that love them.

After hearing about it I heard from a good friend who has been having such a difficult time and she had something really good happen for her and it was good to hear at least just a little positive news on such a horrible day.

[Biotic Apostate]

It's just horrific. I'll never understand, what drives people to turn into monsters.

[Steelcan]

I was waiting to see which category this one would fall into, the "shooter was an Islamist" which means Trump gets more free press and there's going to likely be an outpouring of debate around Muslim Americans and comparisons to other parts of the world *cough* Paris *cough* Brussels*

 

Or if this was gonna be another "tragedy" that nothing could ever have prevented, certainly not some slightly tighter gun laws.

 

And it seems it was the former

[nightscrawl]

I edited my original post, but thought I'd make a new one as well.

 

Unfortunately, those initial reports about the blood donation were erroneous. At one point, an Orlando city commissioner even repeated it on MSNBC, in addition to reports on social media.

[Grieving Natashina]

I just read that the now-second biggest mass shooting was Virgina Tech at 31 people. Over 50 people died last night, and for what? How they were born? The fact that they wanted to show their love to each other like any other young couple would? A lot of those people were in their early 20s. Just babies. Where the frak do people get off thinking that's okay? During Pride Month, no less.

I'm not going to lie. After the Planned Parenthood in Colorado Springs shooting last summer and with the massacre in Florida, I'm pretty scared for the gay community in Denver. The guy that shot up that clinic actually was found incompent to stand trial due to being crazy. I can believe it; in this country, getting that defense to stick isn't easy. With James Holmes and the theatre shooting, the sicko in Colorado Springs and now this, I'm hoping that the Denver Pride Parade has some extra security next weekend.

I'm trying to be cautious and follow the TOS of the site. I don't want any of us to get into trouble. But I can't stop crying.

[Biotic Apostate]

I edited my original post, but thought I'd make a new one as well.

 

Unfortunately, those initial reports about the blood donation were erroneous. At one point, an Orlando city commissioner even repeated it on MSNBC, in addition to reports on social media.

It did sound too good to be true. Instead we get the surreal situation of "LGBT people cannot donate blood that could save other LGBT people."

[Grieving Natashina]

It did sound too good to be true. Instead we get the surreal situation of "LGBT people cannot donate blood that could save other LGBT people."

I haven't been this angry since James Holmes. My parents, my brother with his wife and some of my long time friends used to go to that theatre. Somehow, this is much much worse.

The worst part is that the rage feels so impotent. I want to do something, I want to scream, I want to cry harder. I just wouldn't know where to start. It's massive, overwhelming and hard to swallow. I hope at least something resembling a reasonable conversation can make it past all of the screaming and raging about gun control, gay rights, hate crimes, ect ect.

If ya'll will excuse me, I'm going to have a cigarette and a shower. And I'm going to call my mom.