1933 réponses à ce sujet

[Dani100]

I haven't gotten any hate mail but I've gotten a couple that made me rather uncomfortable. Mostly though I've received many PM's of support that have meant a great deal to me.

[Grieving Natashina]

I've gotten some hate mail, but not much and not recently

I've gotten two. One of them was a poster that is I disagreed with, only to have him roll an alt account and try to send me nasty PMs that way. He was easy to spot, since the alt account was his [user name] 2. The other I just blocked.

[CrimsonN7]

I got hate mail or as I prefer to call it love mail in my MP travels a few times over the years. Always nice to feel wanted lols.

[Dani100]

Oh! I did get one bit of hate on Xbox while playing Dark Souls, my character was in a area where a popular npc hangs out. I was trying to get away from someone that was trying to kill my character, he noticed the npc wasn't there and sent me a message cussing me out because he thought I killed the npc. I had run out of something I needed and left the area and when I came back he was gone. I thought I screwed up the game by leaving but after I explained to the rude guy what I did he became nice and told me what happened. I just had to shake my head at that one.

Also got some angry people on ME3 multiplayer because of how bad I am, I know I'm bad, hell Miranda told me all the time to stop shooting her in ME2. I started immediately dropping out whenever someone had a mic. I was pissed at BioWare for making me play to get the breath scene.

[HuldraDancer]

Had a weird run in at work, one that made me realize just how bad I am in social situations. It was nearing the end of my shift and someone at the machines started talking with me, which is normal some guest are chatty, and he asked me to watch his machine for him. Didn't think anything of it, pretty normal request where I work, though I thought I smelled liquor on him (our bars had closed down hours ago by that point and there was a liquor sweep to make sure everyone was done drinking) but I wasn't too sure. The guy comes back gets back on his machine and I try to get back to work. He keeps calling to me asking me things I can barely understand what he's saying then starts following me around trying to figure out when I get off work and if he can take me out somewhere. I ended up having to go back to my cart and stay there for the rest of the night with some other workers since I wasn't sure how to handle that, and it probably shook me up more than it really should of. I guess this rant is mostly aimed at myself for getting shaken up so easily and having zero idea how to handle something like that.

[Biotic Apostate]

We do so all the time.

And ugh at this weather. It's supposed to hit 95 degrees (35 C) tomorrow and our AC is busted. I hope this isn't a prescient for the rest of the season. My husband is doing worse. Sadly fitting for a guy nicknamed Sasquatch.

Haha what's an AC? Ha... *looks at next week's forecast, 37C (98.5F)* I think it's time to bring out the fans.

[vertigomez]

Geez, I'm sorry, Huldra. It sounds like he was making you massively uncomfortable. If it helps, I'm exactly the same way in those situations - it's hard to make people back off without them getting angry and insulting you, even if you're trying to be polite. So, seeking solace with some other workers is a completely acceptable course of action. That's what I'd do.

Just don't be upset with yourself. That guy sounds skeevy and possibly drunk.

[vertigomez]

Eugh, that romance thread.

[Panda]

Gaylien thread has been somewhat frustrating. I don't really get what people do in threads whose topic doesn't interest them at all, especially if they keep returning to it. I guess it's for the drama.

[Biotic Apostate]

Gaylien thread has been somewhat frustrating. I don't really get what people do in threads whose topic doesn't interest them at all, especially if they keep returning to it. I guess it's for the drama.

That's usually the case with LGBT threads. Some just have to say how against these ideas they are.

[Grieving Natashina]

Had a weird run in at work, one that made me realize just how bad I am in social situations. It was nearing the end of my shift and someone at the machines started talking with me, which is normal some guest are chatty, and he asked me to watch his machine for him. Didn't think anything of it, pretty normal request where I work, though I thought I smelled liquor on him (our bars had closed down hours ago by that point and there was a liquor sweep to make sure everyone was done drinking) but I wasn't too sure. The guy comes back gets back on his machine and I try to get back to work. He keeps calling to me asking me things I can barely understand what he's saying then starts following me around trying to figure out when I get off work and if he can take me out somewhere. I ended up having to go back to my cart and stay there for the rest of the night with some other workers since I wasn't sure how to handle that, and it probably shook me up more than it really should of. I guess this rant is mostly aimed at myself for getting shaken up so easily and having zero idea how to handle something like that.

If this is a co-worker, talk to your manager immediately. Even if you don't normally work next to that guy, talk to your boss. He might be a nice guy or whatever, but he shouldn't be drunk at work at the first place. If he wasn't drinking, you should still let your boss know. That sounds like a hostile work environment that's brewing. No one deserves that.

You sound honestly shaken and there's nothing wrong with that. But you don't have to deal with that without backup. <hugs> Don't worry about being a snitch or anything like that. If he's drunk at work and acting like that, or just been that much of a creeper, chances are that other employees have had to deal with it as well. You're one of my oldest forum buddies and I'm sorry that guy left you so rattled. <another hug>

@Biotic The Gaylien thread straight up made me cry yesterday. I didn't sob uncontrollably, but I was crying. I read one of the worst things I've ever seen on the forums and the mods don't give a toss. I'm glad I have the folks in here. This feels like one of the only places left on the BSN where it's safe to speak our minds.

[nightscrawl]

^ Sorry to speak for Huldra, but that was likely a customer, not a co-worker. I have to say that I am also rather inept at social situations and probably would have reacted the same way.

 

 

And omg, many hugs, Nat. \\o//

[Biotic Apostate]

@Nat *hugs*

Honestly, it's not something I haven't heard already, but it still shocked me to see it here. Two weeks ago I would not have suspected that person would start posting such crap, I don't understand what's gotten into them.

And yeah, it's awesome to have this place.

[Grieving Natashina]

@Nat *hugs*
Honestly, it's not something I haven't heard already, but it still shocked me to see it here. Two weeks ago I would not have suspected that person would start posting such crap, I don't understand what's gotten into them.
And yeah, it's awesome to have this place.

I've normally got a pretty thick skin online. You can't hang out in places like the BSN without one. IBut his comment affected me on a personal level. Back in 1998, my husband was friends with a shy kid from Wyoming named Matt Shepard. He was also gay. My husband went to college on the other side of the state. Laramie is in the southern part of the state, not too far away from the Colorado state border.

Anyway, my husband was done there and was at a bar. Matt came up to him and offered to by him a drink. My husband was a punk from the middle of nowhere Wyoming...that spent a lot of time with the gay community in Casper. He knew that Matt was hitting on him and Matt did come across as a little effeminate. My husband smiled and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not gay. But I'll take that drink." They started talking and were friends over the phone for about 6 months.

The last time Sasquatch got to talk to Matt was about a month before he died. My husband was talking about meeting Matt down in Laramie to say hi. Waiting for Winter Break, you know. Matt was beaten to death by a bunch of rednecks and left his body hanging on a fence on the state line.

Some jackass right afterward was venting, stating that "No one person has ever affected my life so much." It was in tones of contempt too, after making disparaging remarks about gay men in general. Sasquatch almost beat the tar out of the guy. The only thing that stopped him was this was a party at his best friend's place. He told them to throw the guy out, otherwise he was going to throw him out of a window.

Matt's death really shook up the LGBT+ community in Denver. Laramie is only about a two hour drive away from Denver, and only about an hour away from Boulder. We were shocked, horrified and very very scared. No one walked alone in Downtown Denver. It wasn't until Orlando that I've been so messed up.

When that poster made the comment that effeminate men are the reason that gay men are beaten to death and "Their (the dead gay men) blood is on their (the effeminate men) hands, I almost lost it and went for the temp banhammer. I normally separate the words from the poster. I don't know most of the posters from Adam, so I can't speak for them as a person. In this case though, I've fully passed judgement on this poster as a person. IMHO, he's an awful human being.

[Grieving Natashina]

Pardon the typos. The edit system is being wonky again.

For those that can't read the wiki link, Matt was robbed, pistol whipped, tortured and then beaten to death. It was one of the most brutal killings I'd ever heard of at the time. I was 19 years old.

[nightscrawl]

When that poster made the comment that effeminate men are the reason that gay men are beaten to death and "Their (the dead gay men) blood is on their (the effeminate men) hands, I almost lost it and went for the temp banhammer. I normally separate the words from the poster. I don't know most of the posters from Adam, so I can't speak for them as a person. In this case though, I've fully passed judgement on this poster as a person. IMHO, he's an awful human being.

I don't think words should be separated from the poster, really. We have in vino veritas for alcohol loosening inhibitions, and the anonymity of the internet can lead to the same thing. It is inside that person to say those things, whether they are hateful, bigoted remarks like that, or simply the act of being more outgoing and friendly because the internet reduces the awkwardness of being around other people.

 

Things people say on the internet absolutely do speak to the character of that person.

[Grieving Natashina]

I don't think words should be separated from the poster, really. We have in vino veritas for alcohol loosening inhibitions, and the anonymity of the internet can lead to the same thing. It is inside that person to say those things, whether they are hateful, bigoted remarks like that, or simply the act of being more outgoing and friendly because the internet reduces the awkwardness of being around other people.

Things people say on the internet absolutely do speak to the character of that person.

I know, but I've seen firsthand people don't always act like that online, nor always think like that offline. They use it as a form of venting. It doesn't make it right, but it's just a fact of life. Also, sometimes folks just have a bad day. I'm a nice gal, so I try to be understanding.

Most of the people on my ignore list have said one thing or the other or many things that caused me to have some disgust. A few have offended me quite a bit. I don't make a big production out of it. I don't need trolls telling me to grow up or go back to Tumblr. I usually just put them on ignore and leave it at that.

I've never had a poster that said something so awful that it affected me personally. Despite all the trolls, all the nastiness, this was somehow a breaking point. It's not going to break me down. In fact, the only reason why I didn't go to for the banhammer is that I'm more determined than ever to at least try to get these problems exposed. I don't know if it will work, but things like that comment shouldn't be allowed to slide. I want multiple perspectives so this has the potential to be as a effective as possible. Low odds haven't stopped me before. I just...have to try.

I'd be just as sickened if someone suggested that all traditionally masucline guys should be beaten to death because they were too macho or some crap. But when a poster makes a comment like that about gay men, I think of Matt.

[vertigomez]

Can someone PM me the name of whoever is spewing this bile, so I know who to avoid? I think I'm going to be sick.

[Grieving Natashina]

Can someone PM me the name of whoever is spewing this bile, so I know who to avoid? I think I'm going to be sick.

Gotcha covered.

[Biotic Apostate]

@Nat

I've heard about Matthew, hard not to, when a horrific murder sparks a national conversation on hate crimes. Give your hubby a hug from me, loosing a friend is hard enough. Hearing his murder described in detail in the media must have been hell. It's shameful that it took so many years of denial until the law on hate crimes was extended.

 

This whole stupidity in the gaylien thread reminded me of a 14 year old kid, who hanged himself, because his classmates kept harassing him and calling him a f*****. It hit close to home, because it turned out he was from my mother's home town, and when I saw the news, I realised that I've met his grandmother (she was friends with my great-grandmother). **On a related note, my mother ignored they gay part of this story, because of course she would.

 

The whole thing was just terrifying. Experts were stunned, because usually after something like that happens, the bullies feel some remorse. But not these little monsters - they went on to make jokes about shoes (that kid used shoelaces to commit suicide), and how feminine he was. How awesome it was that there was one f** less. What's more, the headmaster and the teachers were not shaken in any way. Nope, they used the government funds they got for a speech therapist for that kid, and went on a ****** trip to Italy.

 

The LGBT community talked about hate speech, after a week everyone ignored it. A few years ago there was a campaign with homophobic slurs, followed by "words hurt." The response? Most of them had "and your ass doesn't hurt" written on them. The recent push for a legislative change was met with cries from even the government and the church about democratic freedom. Needless to say, any bill like that has no chance of passing. The whole thing is just depressing.

 

I really wanted to cuss him out. For both the recent posts, and the slurs aimed at Dorian (because surprise, surprise, he thinks Dorian is feminine too). Good thing we have Dave to call idiots out with eloquence.

[Grieving Natashina]

If you don't mind me asking, what country are you from? That wouldn't fly very well this side of the Pond. That's beyond sick and sad. Man..

Will do. We talk about Matt sometimes. Hard not to. Thanks for the love. <hug>

Oh and something else I wanted to mention that's tangently related.

So, the night after the Orlando shooting, Sasquatch was at the grocery store picking up dinner. He may be a big guy with long hair, but he's very sweet. He was also dressed more or less normal. No metal shirt, but a green t-shirt, beige unbuttoned long sleeve, jeans with socks and sandals. While he's there, he saw a gay kid around 20-22 that was looking at him. When my husband turned to look at him, the kid outright flinched, looked scared and got away from him.

This messed my husband up. He came home nearly in tears. He found it incredibly heartbreaking that one crazy guy made a gay kid afraid of traditional looking straight men.

[nightscrawl]

Your guy is a keeper, just sayin'.

 

(I'm sure you already know that .)

[vertigomez]

Biotic, I'm sorry about the a-hole bullies... and your mom, for that matter.

I just really want to hug everyone in this thread. It has not been an easy week. Not always an easy life, either, but this week's been especially tough. I'd ask wtf is wrong with humanity but, you know, that answer's not forthcoming.

[nightscrawl]

Why is that Gaylien thread still open? Is it actually contributing anything positive at this point? It seems like it's moved waaaay beyond the OP's reasonable request for a gay alien romance.

[Biotic Apostate]

If you don't mind me asking, what country are you from? That wouldn't fly very well this side of the Pond. That's beyond sick and sad. Man..

I'm from Poland, and with all the crap that has been happening here (and the general racism and homophobia thats rampant here), I'm not really proud of it. 

 

Your hubby sounds like a really lovely guy, btw.

 

Biotic, I'm sorry about the a-hole bullies... and your mom, for that matter.

Thank you <hug>