I don't disagree with your conclusion wrt Lord Kiran's "standard", just the reasoning stated here.
Having to watch Shepard eat every few hours would be comparable to watching sex scenes. The player is merely watching Shepard go about her/his business.
If feeding Shepard were a mini-game of some sort (actual gameplay), then it might be more comparable to combat.
Cutting out combat is cutting out gameplay.
This does bring up the awkward question: would players be more comfortable if the romance scenes were interactive, with options in terms of what they're doing? Technically-speaking that does solve the issue, but I honestly don't think this would dispel Kiran's criticism of it being gratuitous.
I definitely much prefer engaging in combat to Bioware romances, but narrative-importance isn't really a great starting point to explain why. Most of Bioware's combat exists so that we can enjoy killing things, more than anything else.





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