I use JAM. It's just one extra scene of Shepard on the Normandy putting Anderson's name on the wall and a hug with your LI, assuming you got the breath scene. It's nothing fancy but it's a bit more uplifting and barely strays from the canon ending.
That said, I can't believe all the work MrFob put into MEHEM. It's an excellent mod and it came out when the tools couldn't do half the things that they can now and I wouldn't have my preferred ending mod without it.
As for the ending to MEA, I doubt the ending to the first one will be grimdark and I hope they don't go in that direction. After playing an ME game and all it's emotional rollercoasters, I don't really want to end on a sour note.
All of that said, I don't hate the original endings, I just don't particularly like them. Control is the worst because Shepard becomes... something... some immortal machine god or something and the monologue creeps me the f--k out. It's like it's not even Shepard any more. Synthesis is pretty uplifting. I'm an EDI fan and I like that she has found this sort of transcendence with the rest of the sentient species of the galaxy and I love the first line of her monologue "I am alive!". Still, I'm a sucker for Destroy and Shep ending up back with his friends and loved ones. I feel like he deserved it after the last three years. Listening to Hackett drone on doesn't exactly feel me with hope though. "We will rebuild." Will we? You don't sound too enthusiastic about the idea...