I didn't pass French at school 
I did, but it makes no difference. I can understand it well enough to occasionally make puns, but I cannot speak it. My oft-repeated theory to my French partner is that Ulstermen are not designed to speak French. In fact, we are exquisite examples of precision engineering, quite genuinely gifted in our inability to speak it. Our consonants are too essential, and our vowel-mangling is entirely different from the standard French model. We tend to flatten and twist our vowels, while the French throttle them at birth to the point that they all sound the same with a shrug of the shoulders. As for our approach to the letter 'r' in general, that's just a whole world of pain. We tend to double or triple any hint of its presence, which makes the name of the port of Le Havre beyond impossible for me to say. Mind you, I get revenge on my partner by making her try to tell me it's cloudy in Claudy. She may be fluent in 5 languages, but she doesn't half struggle with her diphthongs... 
I have very much enjoyed all the discussion, but will do my bit to keep it on topic, with the partial inclusion of ma petite amie...