Only if she consents to it of her own volition otherwise it would be abuse.
Mhm, and no shortage of dames out there that dig a little hair-pulling, spankings and face-slappings. Heck, once I (accidentally) busted my ex's lip with my knee and she took it in stride.
Mhm, and no shortage of dames out there that dig a little hair-pulling, spankings and face-slappings. Heck, once I (accidentally) busted my ex's lip with my knee and she took it in stride.
Kobe would definitely know what I'm talking about.
Kobe would definitely know what I'm talking about.
lol i'll start calling you UFC from now on. Ultimate ****** Champion
lol i'll start calling you UFC from now on. Ultimate ****** Champion
I certainly hit it as hard as I do my desk when I rage at a game.
Ohhh but I'd still have to disagree with you on that. From what I know of it, it is completely consensual and amongst other things, there is a big emphasis on trust between the involved parties that is partially about making sure it never goes beyond the comforts and wants of the other partner. Granted, a number of "romance" novels has not helped perceptions.
Why do you consider it abuse?
Look, I dont care what people do in their own privacy of their homes but these last few years every teenager has gone wild because of that stupid movie and is now worshipping s & m. They do it like smoking weed, there's nothing special about it anymore plus they exaggerate it and take it to the extremes. I believe it's abuse because a lot of women or girls apparently probably feel pressured into it now in order to be popular in school and amongst their friends. Being slapped around is no joke.
Look, I dont care what people do in their own privacy of their homes but these last few years every teenager has gone wild because of that stupid movie and is now worshipping s & m. They do it like smoking weed, there's nothing special about it anymore plus they exaggerate it and take it to the extremes. I believe it's abuse because a lot of women or girls apparently probably feel pressured into it now in order to be popular in school and amongst their friends. Being slapped around is no joke.
Wait, wait, are you referring to Fifty Shades of Grey?
The franchise that claims to be about bdsm but actually has nothing to do with it and is basically romanticized abuse?
The franchise that people involved in bdsm has repeatedly and strongly criticised because of how poorly it represents bdsm and because of how it could potentially endanger people by portraying abuse as bdsm?
Also, you feel the practice itself is abuse regardless of what the important basics for it is because you feel people are being pressured into it by peer pressure in order to be popular in school and amongst their friends?
Wait, wait, are you referring to Fifty Shades of Grey?
The franchise that claims to be about bdsm but actually has nothing to do with it and is basically romanticized abuse?
The franchise that people involved in bdsm has repeatedly and strongly criticised because of how poorly it represents bdsm and because of how it could potentially endanger people by portraying abuse as bdsm?
Also, you feel the practice itself is abuse regardless of what the important basics for it is because you feel people are being pressured into it by peer pressure in order to be popular in school and amongst their friends?
Lol yes, that's the movie I meant and I know all about bdsm, I know that movie didn't represent it well enough. All I'm saying is that because of that movie young kids are practising it in an extreme way and in an exaggerate way. I think that's abuse. I don't think there's anything wrong with bdsm in general, but that movie and all those kids now worshipping it has ruined the specialness of it.
Lol yes, that's the movie I meant and I know all about bdsm, I know that movie didn't represent it well enough. All I'm saying is that because of that movie young kids are practising it in an extreme way and in an exaggerate way. I think that's abuse. I don't think there's anything wrong with bdsm in general, but that movie and all those kids now worshipping it has ruined the specialness of it.
Uhh, where are all these young people who are worshipping the book?
Are you saying there actually people who think of 50 Shades of Grey as anything other than a punchline?
It's definitely not "cool"...
Uhh, where are all these young people who are worshipping the book?
Are you saying there actually people who think of 50 Shades of Grey as anything other than a punchline?
It's definitely not "cool"...
I said movie not "book"... 
Mhm, and no shortage of dames out there that dig a little hair-pulling, spankings and face-slappings. Heck, once I (accidentally) busted my ex's lip with my knee and she took it in stride.
Look, I dont care what people do in their own privacy of their homes but these last few years every teenager has gone wild because of that stupid movie and is now worshipping s & m. They do it like smoking weed, there's nothing special about it anymore plus they exaggerate it and take it to the extremes. I believe it's abuse because a lot of women or girls apparently probably feel pressured into it now in order to be popular in school and amongst their friends. Being slapped around is no joke.
Eh, the fact that a shitty movie misrepresented what BDSM practitioners actually advocate isn't an indictment of BDSM. It's an indictment of our culture which, by and large, have a fuzzy understanding of what enthusiastic consent actually looks like and an indictment of Hollywood for putting that sad movie out in the first place (which I guess, is another indictment of a culture that wants that sad movie).
I don't know if your claim that unwilling participation in BDSM is increasing is true. I'm inclined to give your claim the benefit of the doubt as we've seen the effects that porn has had on sexual practices (ie, more shaving and facials). It's not a big leap to assume that the 50s shades phenomenon has lead to increased interest in BDSM.
At any rate, the issue of unwilling participation in a sexual act is not an issue strictly tied to BDSM. It's an issue of understanding what consent looks like and putting an emphasis on not just consent but enthusiastic consent. If a partner seems hesitant, nervous, to be just going along it's probably time to figure out whether your partner actually wants to participate in whatever you are doing.
Eh, the fact that a shitty movie misrepresented what BDSM practitioners actually advocate isn't an indictment on BDSM. It's an indictment of our culture which, by and large, have a fuzzy understanding of what enthusiastic consent actually looks like and an indictment of Hollywood for putting that sad movie out in the first place (which I guess, is another indictment of a culture that wants that sad movie).
I don't know if your claim that unwilling participation in BDSM is increasing is true. I'm inclined to give your claim the benefit of the doubt as we've seen the effects that porn has had on sexual practices (ie, more shaving and facials). It's not a big leap to assume that the 50s shades phenomenon has lead to increased interest in BDSM.
At any rate, the issue of unwilling participation in a sexual act is not an issue strictly tied to BDSM. It's an issue of understanding what consent looks like and putting an emphasis on not just consent but enthusiastic consent. If a partner seems hesitant, nervous, to be just going along it's probably time to figure out whether your partner actually wants to participate in whatever you are doing.
That's not exactly what I meant, I see a lot of you are misunderstanding my point and I believe that's because English isn't my first language and I often have a very hard time getting my point across correctly when expressing myself in English. I can't explain it in any other way sadly, cause I don't know how. Therefore the discussion ends for me here
That's not exactly what I meant, I see a lot of you are misunderstanding my point and I believe that's because English isn't my first language and I often have a very hard time getting my point across correctly when expressing myself in English. I can't explain it in any other way sadly, cause I don't know how. Therefore the discussion ends for me here
I think you expressed yourself fine. As I understand what you are saying, you feel like the 50 Shades of Gray movie created an atmosphere where some young people feel pressured into participating in BDSM. You feel that pressuring people into something they don't feel comfortable doing is abuse. Correct?
I agree. The pressuring part is abuse if the person pressuring continues after being told to stop or seeing indications, such as body language cues, that the person is not enthusiastic. I don't agree that BDSM is inherently abusive and I see that you've clarified your position to say that you don't think BDSM is always harmful as well. So, I think we're pretty much in agreement on all points.
I think you expressed yourself fine. As I understand what you are saying, you feel like the 50 Shades of Gray movie created an atmosphere where some young people feel pressured into participating in BDSM. You feel that pressuring people into something they don't feel comfortable doing is abuse. Correct?
I agree. The pressuring part is abuse if the person pressuring continues after being told to stop or seeing indications, such as body language cues, that the person is not enthusiastic. I don't agree that BDSM is inherently abusive and I see that you've clarified your position to say that you don't think BDSM is always harmful as well. So, I think we're pretty much in agreement on all points.
Yes pretty much Because it can be special but I just feel like today's youth have ruined that as well, since everyone is practising it like it was no big deal ever since that movie came out, if that makes any sense.
If its done with love = bdsm
If its one with hate/anger/etc = abuse
... the worry is that people will start hitting each other i think without asking because they think it will be normal when its so publicized... like the girls who watch pornography and think that is how sex is supposed to be... the guys who do the same... its the same kind of idea... everything needs to be done with consent and everything needs to be done between 2 people who are genuinely... into it i guess... no matter what you do in the bedroom everything needs to be done with love... if youre doing something without permission or doing it to be cool or whatever your reason is OTHER than love thats when it becomes abusive... having practices like this which were once so kind of rare and special so widely publicized is just gonna open it up to people who dont understand and dont... know almost like the rituals of it i guess... they wont know how to take care of each other during it and what to do and what not to do... the books arent good examples and for people who arent like... informed about it or anything to have that as their first example of it and base what they try off that isnt good... it needs to be done by people who know and understand what to do and who are genuinely into it and do everything with love... anything else isnt good 
Whatever happened to....
Man on top.
Roll over.
Hold hands.
Go to toilet.
Sleep
I'd prefer to pass out right on top of the broad after I'm done. 
I'd prefer to pass out right on top of the broad after I'm done.
By 'broad' do you mean woman???
Don't get me started on sexism.... it may not end well.
Yes.
So you don't think it is abuse if she dosen't consent to it? Gotta disagree pretty strongly with you on that one.
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On abuse and Rape
In Ontario, Canada, a judge changed the landscape for rape victims.
“The myths of rape should be dispelled once and for all,” he announced near the long-awaited end of his verdict. “It doesn’t matter if the victim was drinking, out at night alone, sexually exploited, on a date with the perpetrator, or how the victim was dressed. No one asks to be raped.”
Here is a link on the judge's rape verdict if you wish to read the full article:
https://www.thestar....-gray-case.html
On the meaning of abuse. Here is a link to America's health channel:
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/
Basically, I find any abuse to be unhealthy, such as prosecutorial abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, psychological.. etc. Read the memoirs of famous madames providing "exclusive services"... tidbits about politicians, people of power, seeking to be spanked or what not. That tells me they are mentally broken, imo.
Consensual or not, a real healthy relationships excludes any forms of abuse.
God forbid any woman would let you within touching distance then.
But based upon from what little I have read.... no woman probably has.
I'm sure you'd love to think so.
You'd be surprised about the kinds of things women are into.
Watching porn doesn't count...I'm sure you'd love to think so.
You'd be surprised about the kinds of things women are into.
Watching porn doesn't count...
You do know that pornstars are PAID to do that s#it?
Here's hoping someone like you never leaves their basement. Yep, I think someone like you should just stay there.
Go read "My Secret Garden" for a glimpse of the kinds of things women are into.
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