"If Zaeed is not leadership material, neither is Miranda.
Neither really "gets along" with others."
Zaed is good only when it comes to himself. He doesn´t give the slighest importance to anybody else. If you did his loyalty mission this becomes clear as daylight. He won´t care if hundreds of innocent people will perish as long as he gets what he wants. If you place someone in charge of the team it´s with the impression that this particular individual will try to make sure that everyone survives.
From your words, I suppose never in your live you had to deal with a nasty boss. I take it for certain that you were never drafted by the military forces in your country.
When it comes to hierarchy we don´t obey people based on personal preference. We dont get this luxury.
And besides, if you liked shepard you would obey the person he/she placed in charge for the time being as much as if it was shepard himself/herself.
Miranda, as I said, is not a charismatic type of leader. She doesn´t try to be liked. I would not like her as a person if she was my commander, but I would at the very least have profound respect for her competence. She´s fully comitted to the mission and to her goals. Not every successful leader has to be a nice one. Just read History and you will see it.
The real problem is not about Miranda being a good leader (she´s a fine one). It´s you who wouldn´t be a good soldier or employee if you think leaders have to be liked in order to be obeyed.
Jacob, on the other hand, comes across as the opposite of Miranda. He´s likable, but doesn´t sound like a very sharp mind. He´s strong, he is powerful, but he seems to be more like a foot-soldier than a leader. He I first saw Jacob and Miranda it was clear to me that this was a duo featuring he as the brawn to Miranda´s brain. Miranda may be cynic, but Jacob is far too trusting. She reacts faster. While Jacob is still thinking about what should be done, she already made up her mind, went, returned and is midway going out again.
Like I said, I would not fall in love for Miranda as my boss nor would I be willing to take a bullet for her, but I can certainly see her as a strong leader, and a much better one than Jacob, Zaed and Samara.
My only point of dissonance with the creators of the game is that I find mordin to be a potential good leader too, even if his pupil changed his mind later on. He is quick, smart, has a genius intellect (even for a Salarian, and that is saying quite A LOT), has medical experience, military background and even had a stint with salarian intelligence. He can see from all the angles and can easily adapt and improvise. With the right tools at his disposal, he´s an extremelly dangerous person. And even with improper tools, he can still find openings and improvise.
There´s no member on the team that is more versatile, resourceful and creative as him. He is a full leader, in the broad sense of the word. The military in him will make sure that he will hold the line and get the job done, the intelligence operative in him will make sure that he´s aware of all the resources, the brilliant scientist in him will make him creative should the need arise and the medical doctor in him should make him never lose sight of the lives of the crew. He would fight the enemies well while at the same time still being able to take care of everyone.
It was a big shock for me when he died. "Tell them... I... held... the line."
Thank heavens for the savestate function. Otherwise I think I would have punched the screen. Or throw the joystick at it.