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[Qun00]

I've seen plenty of people on these forums complain that she doesn't.

They merely want her to be more tolerant and tone down the elf hate.

There is a great difference between that and asking Sera to believe in the Creators.

[Domakir]

I understand Sera's behaviour in that scene. She's young and thus immature. But I missed another option for the Inquisitor to seek a solution to their beliefs issue. Actually beliefs aren't a problem at all. In a healthy relationship the problem would be on what do you want from the relationship? Marriage? Children? If one of them wants this but the other doesn't then that is a problem because there will be a point where one of them will have to sacrifice something he/she wish which leads to ill-feeling about the other person.

But religion? That's not a reason to break up with someone.

[Catilina]

I didn't claim that love conquers all. Actually what I am talking about is Respect. In general, all relationships are built upon respect and trust. This is friendship, this is romantic relationships.

 

Love = Respect + Trust

 

Sera does not Respect nor Trust the Inquisitor enough, to not let something like beliefs get in the way of Love

(Long term) love = respect + trust + "chemistry" + friendship + similar thinking (open mind to the other – by both parties!).

 

I do not know how strong Sera's faith, or how much he hates the elves (she really hates my elf, but I never talked with her too much, I admit – now I have a friendly qunary, maybe I will know more from Sera), I can imagine, if her faith strong enough, she refuse the "elfy" elf, if she despises Andrastianism. I do not think it's childish. As I told, this thing is hard to decide. There are some who are open-minded, and able to accept a lifetime, but some people are unable to accept a completely different belief. It is better to speak about it sooner than they despise each other. I think.

[Catilina]

I understand Sera's behaviour in that scene. She's young and thus immature. But I missed another option for the Inquisitor to seek a solution to their beliefs issue. Actually beliefs aren't a problem at all. In a healthy relationship the problem would be on what do you want from the relationship? Marriage? Children? If one of them wants this but the other doesn't then that is a problem because there will be a point where one of them will have to sacrifice something he/she wish which leads to ill-feeling about the other person.

But religion? That's not a reason to break up with someone.

Just substitute the "religion" with other thing: for example, political conviction. Many people can not live for a long time with anyone, who have opposing convictions.

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

(Long term) love = respect + trust + "chemistry" + friendship + similar thinking (open mind to the other – by both parties!).

 

I do not know how strong Sera's faith, or how much he hates the elves (she really hates my elf, but I never talked with her too much, I admit – now I have a friendly qunary, maybe I will know more from Sera), I can imagine, if her faith strong enough, she refuse the "elfy" elf, if she despises Andrastianism. I do not think it's childish. As I told, this thing is hard to decide. There are some who are open-minded, and able to accept a lifetime, but some people are unable to accept a completely different belief. It is better to speak about it sooner than they despise each other. I think.

 

I disagree with the formula.

 

Because I generally only accept open mindedness in general. 

 

I explained this in another thread about the Approval Disapproval system:

 

Mature Adults, albeit Sera is not one, do not end things in flames. 

 

The analogy I use is this

 

You and your friend are having a political debate, and do not agree on several stances. But for the most part, you agree on other topics, but politics. An adult, a mature adult who can respect and accept the opinions of others. And that people around them will have different points of view and do not expect everyone to have the same point of view, will not block or unfriend said person on social media.

 

Smart, Mature, Adults, should not have the expectation that everyone is going to think similar to them, should not have the expectation that everyone is going to agree with them or believe the same things as everyone else. And that you're most certainly in any conversation not going to change the point of view of another person. No one is going to read what I say and say, "I change my stance on this topic".

 

I am merely addressing what is being said.

 

Long Term love should only be addressed by Open mindedness, not similar thinking.

[Catilina]

I disagree with the formula.

 

Because I generally only accept open mindedness in general. 

 

I explained this in another thread about the Approval Disapproval system:

 

Mature Adults, albeit Sera is not one, do not end things in flames. 

 

The analogy I use is this

 

You and your friend are having a political debate, and do not agree on several stances. But for the most part, you agree on other topics, but politics. An adult, a mature adult who can respect and accept the opinions of others. And that people around them will have different points of view and do not expect everyone to have the same point of view, will not block or unfriend said person on social media.

 

Smart, Mature, Adults, should not have the expectation that everyone is going to think similar to them, should not have the expectation that everyone is going to agree with them or believe the same things as everyone else. And that you're most certainly in any conversation not going to change the point of view of another person. No one is going to read what I say and say, "I change my stance on this topic".

 

I am merely addressing what is being said.

 

Long Term love should only be addressed by Open mindedness, not similar thinking.

Then I do not believe in the love so much. (I think, I'm very open minded, but I can imagine things*, what I would't able to accept.)

 

But the love is not social media ...

 

----

*for example if anyone support the Templars... 

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

Then I do not believe in the love so much. (I think, I'm very open minded, but I can imagine things, what I would't able to accept. – for example if anyone support the Templars...)

 

But the love is not social media ...

 

That's not the point. I was using Politics, and Facebook as examples towards what Sera did to the Inquisitor.

 

Not saying Love is Social Media.

[Catilina]

That's not the point. I was using Politics, and Facebook as examples towards what Sera did to the Inquisitor.

 

Not saying Love is Social Media.

Okay, no offense, I understand your viewpoint, just I not believe, that it is so simple.

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

Okay, no offense, I understand your viewpoint, just I not believe, that it is so simple.

 

Well at least I know what type of person you are. The type of person who'd unfriend someone on Facebook because you don't agree with them. Are you going to block or ignore me because we don't agree too? 

 

^Not being rude making a point

[Catilina]

Well at least I know what type of person you are. The type of person who'd unfriend someone on Facebook because you don't agree with them. Are you going to block or ignore me because we don't agree too? 

 

^Not being rude making a point

Me? No. Especially I like it when someone disagrees with me. Sometimes this is very funny (sometimes not too much, but this is not that situation)! 

What makes you think that? Because of that there are things that I can not accept it? I'm sure you can find some too.

[Domakir]

Just substitute the "religion" with other thing: for example, political conviction. Many people can not live for a long time with anyone, who have opposing convictions.

For me it is the same. I wouldn't give up on a relationship if we have different opinions about politics. In the end an argument is to seek the win/win and not who is right. (No one is)

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

Me? No. Especially I like it when someone disagrees with me. Sometimes this is very funny (sometimes not too much, but this is not that situation)! 

What makes you think that? Because of that there are things that I can not accept it? I'm sure you can find some too.

 

There are things I cannot accept, of course, but I don't expect people to do everything I agree with. That's just a silly notion.

 

The quote made it seem like you disagree with the notion that people shouldn't abolish friendships and the like just because of difference in an opinion. Thus I was making a point that we disagreed, does that mean that you're going to stop talking to me. 

[Catilina]

There are things I cannot accept, of course, but I don't expect people to do everything I agree with. That's just a silly notion.

 

The quote made it seem like you disagree with the notion that people shouldn't abolish friendships and the like just because of difference in an opinion. Thus I was making a point that we disagreed, does that mean that you're going to stop talking to me. 

When I write about people, not always write about myself. There are many kinds of people, and I sometimes try to understand their point of view. What I just wrote, only half apply to me. So: I'm not going to block anybody, because I simply do not agree with him. But I will, if his convictions are incompatible with my convictions. (This direction applies also to love.)

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

When I write about people, not always write about myself. There are many kinds of people, and I sometimes try to understand their point of view. What I just wrote, only half apply to me. So: I'm not going to block anybody, because I simply do not agree with him. But I will, if his convictions are incompatible with my convictions. (This direction applies also to love.)

 

Ah gotcha. I do the same, and for what it's worth on the internet. I am on the Spectrum, so if I get confused with what people mean, lol....I come off as this genius horrible person

[Inkvisiittori]

I have only so far romanced Zevran, Morrigan, Alistair, Anders, Solas and Iron Bull.

 

Here's how I would rank them (loves the most/loves the least):

 

1. Solas

2. Zevran

3. Morrigan

4. Anders

5. Alistair

6. Iron Bull

 

Solas is pretty obvious. Anyone who has romanced him knows why. Zevran comes second, because even though it's not easy for him to first admit how much he cares about you, once he is able sort out his own feelings I feel he is truly loyal and committed to you. Third is Morrigan. Like Zevran she is completely taken by a surprise when she realizes she has actual feelings for you. She is fiercely independent and committed to walk her own path, but once romanced she lets you see a completely different side to her. She's willing to sacrifice some of that personal freedom that she so values to be with you. I loved hearing how happy she and the Warden are in Inquisition. Their life is probably as far from normal as it can get, but they can find strength from each other. I'd say they are soulmates. 

 

Anders is only fourth, because even though he very dramatically and often declares his love, I think actions speak louder than words. To him the cause of mage freedom will always come first. He admits it's more important to him than anything. Even more important than love. I feel there is lot of selfishness in Anders. Even his love for you (especially if you are a mage) he uses to only add more fuel to his burning hatred of templars. Alistair is fifth. Though his romance was fine in DAO (and touching) it was not very well handled in DAI. My Warden who romanced him did the ultimate sacrifice. Alistair remained with Wardens. When they were saying their final goodbyes he said "I will love you... always." I thought: "No, you wont" and was right. For one reason or other he never even mentioned the romantic relationship and only mentioned the Warden in a very casual, sarcastic and bored tone: "Yes, the Warden was brave..." That was almost as disappointing as Zevran's romance dialogue bug in DA2 (almost...)

 

Iron Bull is the last. First of all I personally didn't like some of the things about his romance. I felt like there really just wasn't enough passion (disappointing because I had big expectations). Most of the time when you flirt with him he just responds with some kind of nonchalant joke that has nothing to do with the topic. That was weird. Also one thing I wish had been in the game was that some of the companions (Bull is the best example) maybe could've flirted with you first and try to pursue you, and not always the other way around like it was. Bull doesn't seem to have problem flirting with everyone else (like Dorian, random servants or even Cassandra!) so why are you the only exception? That was disappointing to me. Most of the romance itself was better though. Especially the scene after your victory party when he takes you to your bedroom and tells how much he loves you. That was the only truly passionate scene in the entire romance and so was surprising. Reason why I ranked this romance as the last is because in my worldstate Bull was loyal to the Qun and thus betrayed my Inquisitor in Trespasser. I guess the whole relationship was a lie from the beginning (and that could explain the oddness of the relationship, but I think the scenes and dialogue are pretty much the same regardless of whether it's Iron Bull or Hissrad).

[Catilina]

I have only so far romanced Zevran, Morrigan, Alistair, Anders, Solas and Iron Bull.

 

Here's how I would rank them (loves the most/loves the least):

 

1. Solas

2. Zevran

3. Morrigan

4. Anders

5. Alistair

6. Iron Bull

 

Solas is pretty obvious. Anyone who has romanced him knows why. Zevran comes second, because even though it's not easy for him to first admit how much he cares about you, once he is able sort out his own feelings I feel he is truly loyal and committed to you. Third is Morrigan. Like Zevran she is completely taken by a surprise when she realizes she has actual feelings for you. She is fiercely independent and committed to walk her own path, but once romanced she lets you see a completely different side to her. She's willing to sacrifice some of that personal freedom that she so values to be with you. I loved hearing how happy she and the Warden are in Inquisition. Their life is probably as far from normal as it can get, but they can find strength from each other. I'd say they are soulmates. 

 

Anders is only fourth, because even though he very dramatically and often declares his love, I think actions speak louder than words. To him the cause of mage freedom will always come first. He admits it's more important to him than anything. Even more important than love. I feel there is lot of selfishness in Anders. Even his love for you (especially if you are a mage) he uses to only add more fuel to his burning hatred of templars. Alistair is fifth. Though his romance was fine in DAO (and touching) it was not very well handled in DAI. My Warden who romanced him did the ultimate sacrifice. Alistair remained with Wardens. When they were saying their final goodbyes he said "I will love you... always." I thought: "No, you wont" and was right. For one reason or other he never even mentioned the romantic relationship and only mentioned the Warden in a very casual, sarcastic and bored tone: "Yes, the Warden was brave..." That was almost as disappointing as Zevran's romance dialogue bug in DA2 (almost...)

 

Iron Bull is the last. First of all I personally didn't like some of the things about his romance. I felt like there really just wasn't enough passion (disappointing because I had big expectations). Most of the time when you flirt with him he just responds with some kind of nonchalant joke that has nothing to do with the topic. That was weird. Also one thing I wish had been in the game was that some of the companions (Bull is the best example) maybe could've flirted with you first and try to pursue you, and not always the other way around like it was. Bull doesn't seem to have problem flirting with everyone else (like Dorian, random servants or even Cassandra!) so why are you the only exception? That was disappointing to me. Most of the romance itself was better though. Especially the scene after your victory party when he takes you to your bedroom and tells how much he loves you. That was the only truly passionate scene in the entire romance and so was surprising. Reason why I ranked this romance as the last is because in my worldstate Bull was loyal to the Qun and thus betrayed my Inquisitor in Trespasser. I guess the whole relationship was a lie from the beginning (and that could explain the oddness of the relationship, but I think the scenes and dialogue are pretty much the same regardless of whether it's Iron Bull or Hissrad).

Anders interesting case because he is not alone, and never will be. He can't do anything against it. But in case of friendship romance Hawke agrees with him, so it is not difficult to accept his purpose and fight on his side,I think. I can see why it seems selfish, but I can understand if someone have a bigger purpose. 

I never done rival romance with him, but I think, he will die, if he need to fight against the mages, and  Hawke against his goals, because of Justice. Anders will fight for Hawke, and he remains loyal to him/her until his death. 

 

(I prefer the happy rebel couple version.)

[Arshei]

 

Anders interesting case because he is not alone, and never will be. He can't do anything against it. But in case of friendship romance Hawke agrees with him, so it is not difficult to accept his purpose and fight on his side,I think. I can see why it seems selfish, but I can understand if someone have a bigger purpose. 

I never done rival romance with him, but I think, he will die, if he need to fight against the mages, and  Hawke against his goals, because of Justice. Anders will fight for Hawke, and he remains loyal to him/her until his death. 

 

 

You can't be that.... ugh...

Being pro-mage doesn't mean you have to agree to blow up chantries and burn people alive.

 

 

I think actions speak louder than words.

 

That's very hypocrite considering that you like Solas romance.

[Catilina]

You can't be that.... ugh...

Being pro-mage doesn't mean you have to agree to blow up chantries and burn people alive.

 

[...]

What ... ugh...?

 

Yes, Hawke can kill him, or can forgive him, or can agree with him.

But Anders still loyal to Hawke, if Hawke care about him. That was not the main question in this thread?

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

 

Iron Bull is the last. First of all I personally didn't like some of the things about his romance. I felt like there really just wasn't enough passion (disappointing because I had big expectations). Most of the time when you flirt with him he just responds with some kind of nonchalant joke that has nothing to do with the topic. That was weird. Also one thing I wish had been in the game was that some of the companions (Bull is the best example) maybe could've flirted with you first and try to pursue you, and not always the other way around like it was. Bull doesn't seem to have problem flirting with everyone else (like Dorian, random servants or even Cassandra!) so why are you the only exception? That was disappointing to me. Most of the romance itself was better though. Especially the scene after your victory party when he takes you to your bedroom and tells how much he loves you. That was the only truly passionate scene in the entire romance and so was surprising. Reason why I ranked this romance as the last is because in my worldstate Bull was loyal to the Qun and thus betrayed my Inquisitor in Trespasser. I guess the whole relationship was a lie from the beginning (and that could explain the oddness of the relationship, but I think the scenes and dialogue are pretty much the same regardless of whether it's Iron Bull or Hissrad).

 

That is not at all the same experience I had.

 

Remember in the Trespasser DLC, as they are trying to get the Dragon Head into the tavern and he already knew what they were doing?

 

I always consider he was purposely being nonchalant about it.

 

Remember the Qunari aren't necessarily about passion. As he explained, the Tamasserins, sometimes its this long involved thing, other times its 5 minutes your in and your out.

 

At the start of the relationship it started off distant because Bull was distant, but then it developed into something.

 

You say Actions speak louder than words. But Only Two of the people you chose to romance stayed. Iron Bull, when he doesn't betray you, stays at your side, even when they are declaring to go after Solas. Iron Bull is standing right next to his Kadan.

 

Solas, practically manipulates you emotionally, he's critical, and judgmental, he has tantrums when he disagrees, but when apologizes. Tbh, Solas seems a bit abusive with his relationships. Doing a form of gas lighting.

 

While Anders is a freakin psychopath. Nobody, even if you agree with Anders, would go blow up a Chantry and Kill thousand of innocent people unless you were a nutcase.

[roselavellan]

 

Long Term love should only be addressed by Open mindedness, not similar thinking.

 

I agree with you mostly, I think that an ideal love should be open-minded. But I think also the reality is that strongly opposing political/religious views can make life extremely difficult for a loving couple. 

[Catilina]

While Anders is a freakin psychopath. Nobody, even if you agree with Anders, would go blow up a Chantry and Kill thousand of innocent people unless you were a nutcase.

No. Anders does not fit the psychopath diagnosys. You're also a self-appointed psychiatrist? There are too many around here...

 

(Was not thousand people, only a few templar and sisters.)

[roselavellan]

 

Solas, practically manipulates you emotionally, he's critical, and judgmental, he has tantrums when he disagrees, but when apologizes. Tbh, Solas seems a bit abusive with his relationships. Doing a form of gas lighting.

 

Solas is passionate about his beliefs and he will express them to anyone, it's not just within the context of a relationship. He has never used a disparity of ideology to threaten his relationship. Calling him abusive seems like... wishful-thinking? on your part.

[TheAtomicSurvivor]

No. Anders does not fit the psychopath diagnosys. You're also a self-appointed psychiatrist? There are too many around here...

 

(Was not thousand people, only a few templar and sisters.)

 

I may have been using hyperbole to make a point.

 

Solas is passionate about his beliefs and he will express them to anyone, it's not just within the context of a relationship. He has never used a disparity of ideology to threaten his relationship. Calling him abusive seems like... wishful-thinking? on your part.

 

I don't know. I don't agree with Solas methods. Because it honestly gains you no favors. I only said it seems to make him out to be abusive. But it does feel a bit manipulative as well. That's all. 

[Ghost Gal]

I'm happy they break up with the PC if things don't go there way.

 

Way better than Mass Effect where every character is a suck up even if you treat their opinions and feeling like cr*p.

 

You forgot Dragon Age 2.

[Ghost Gal]

They merely want her to be more tolerant and tone down the elf hate.

There is a great difference between that and asking Sera to believe in the Creators.

 

Sera: You have to give up your elfy religion and culture or we're through!

Lavellan: I can't just give up my religion, culture, and deeply held beliefs!

Sera: OMG UR SO INTOLERANT!!!

 

EDIT: If she gave Trevelyan the same ultimatum regarding their noble status (like, you have to renounce your noble name and/or title and/or all the land/wealth/status/whatever that goes with it or you two are through) she'd be universally loathed throughout the forum.