131 réponses à ce sujet

[Giant Panther]

Its going to be video gamers who survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse and get humanity back on it's feet

[NewYears1978]

Giant Panther wrote...

Its going to be video gamers who survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse and get humanity back on it's feet

Heheh nice.

 The Zombie's will never take me alive.

[Amberyl Ravenclaw]

Giant Panther wrote...

Its going to be video gamers who survive the inevitable zombie apocalypse and get humanity back on it's feet

Unlikely, since sitting inertly on a couch or chair and strategizing against pixels does not constitute action and determination against a real-life threat. If you want training, join the army or a medical volunteer program.

(Just feeling the urge to be pedantic. )

As for the original question, it depends on whom I'm dealing with. One of my uncles, a college professor to boot, was the one to introduce me to videogames (though he prudently started off by giving his young niece 'educational' stuff that was tasteful, stimulating and yet not too dumbed-down: things like sim management, puzzle and story RPGs). I'm pretty glad for it. Till this day I watch him play shooters on his laptop to destress on weekends (funnily enough, something his wife never understands), and we swap games on occassion. So we have quite a bit of fun there and it's almost a bonding activity.

With another aunt, though, I always have to be on the defensive around her because she falls into the category of "all videogames will rot your brain". She has reason to be concerned, because she knows my history of getting addicted to MMOs (happened a long time ago along with some other things, nearly failed high school as a result), and I have a cousin whose life has been quite ruined by his own MMO addiction. So I can't blame my aunt there.

So it really depends. I like to think, though, that if someone has reason to protest against a certain behavior of mine, I should be willing to accept criticism and listen to their point of view as long as it's reasonable. So I don't really mind being "put on the defensive", as it allows me a chance to question my own choices and habits. Who knows? Those people may even be right.

Modifié par Amberyl Ravenclaw, 15 octobre 2009 - 09:06 .

[Korrud]

First of for those who seem to think Hobby = Physical activity. Not true. Any form of interest, that you spend a lot of time with is a hobby, be it a form of entertainment or self-betterment.

Also about different kinds of media and how tv, books, movies are better and blahdyblahdyblaa. That is based on pure opinion, different forms of media are different forms of entertainment... They fulfill in different ways, i wouldn't really compare them to each other like i would compare a movie to another movie. Opinion shouldn't be written in definitions.

Not to be totally OT, i've only had to defend gaming when it has gone overboard. I've also had lengthy discussions about gaming and how it is a hobby ( which is why i'm tired of justifying it to everyone ),  but i wouldn't call them fights where i had to defend gaming or being a gamer.  Schedules for raids seem to be very hard for "normal people" to understand as they see gaming as only entertainment. Giving gaming a schedule when you HAVE to be on the computer makes it seem like work to them, so they don't really get the reason why.

Modifié par Korrud, 15 octobre 2009 - 08:58 .

[Maria Caliban]

Amberyl Ravenclaw wrote...

Unlikely, since sitting inertly on a couch or chair and strategizing against pixels does not constitute action and determination against a real-life threat. If you want training, join the army or a medical volunteer program.



So it really depends. I like to think, though, that if someone has reason to protest against a certain behavior of mine, I should be willing to accept criticism and listen to their point of view as long as it's reasonable. So I don't really mind being "put on the defensive", as it allows me a chance to question my own choices and habits. Who knows? Those people may even be right.

I've already decided that when the zompocylpse comes, I'm heading over to the winning side and then going on a multi-state tour of BRAINZ. Amberyl is definitely getting a gnaw.

Deals with criticism by seeing if it has basis in true? God, that's like 5% of the population there.

[NewYears1978]

Cool post Amberyl. You reminded me of something, that sorta fits with this topic, and my religion topic.
When I was in high school, I played quite a bit of RPG's, and my best friend at the time, who also went to the same church as me...wasn't allowed to play games that had magic in them.
His mother was adamant that games involving magic were anti-Christian... So he got quite a bit of pressure until one day he stood up to her..
Anways..just an interesting thought you brought to my mind.

So it really depends. I like to think, though, that if someone has reason to protest against a certain behavior of mine, I should be willing to accept criticism and listen to their point of view as long as it's reasonable. So I don't really mind being "put on the defensive", as it allows me a chance to question my own choices and habits. Who knows? Those people may even be right.

I like what you said here, well said!

Korrud wrote...

First of for those who seem to think Hobby = Physical activity. Not true. Any form of interest, that you spend a lot of time with is a hobby, be it a form of entertainment or self-betterment.

Also about different kinds of media and how tv, books, movies are better and blahdyblahdyblaa. That is based on pure opinion, different forms of media are different forms of entertainment... They fulfill in different ways, i wouldn't really compare them to each other like i would compare a movie to another movie. Opinion shouldn't be written in definitions.

I like this post a lot too.  Good points.  I like games and sports..I consider both of them hobbies of mine.

Modifié par NewYears1978, 15 octobre 2009 - 08:59 .

[lordstanton]

On occasion I admit to have been a defensive gamer. My family is religious but for the most part they have been supportive, heck they even bought me some pen & paper roleplaying books for my birthday when I was still living at home years ago.



But on occasion, particularly with the recent "mmo computer games are addictive" panic I have had to explain that not everyone who plays a computer game is in danger of going into a crack induced coma.

[Eshaye]

NewYears1978 wrote...



I will say that I got much more flack for Online games, over regular games.   Because of the interaction with other people, there becomes (or can become) a trust issue and other issues that are not (or at least have the possibility of not) being healthy to relationships and such.   I guess this mostly applies in a marriage..

I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years and play online games and I'll have to say that this is very similar to the initial fear people had about chat rooms and email back the 90's.

Basically it's ungrounded if your existing real life relationship is a good one, there's a massive difference between online relationships and real ones, I don't mean to say odd things don't happen sometimes like a married person deciding to have a virtual boy/girlfriend, but it's far from the majority of cases.

[Nekator]

Eshaye wrote...

NewYears1978 wrote...



I will say that I got much more flack for Online games, over regular games.   Because of the interaction with other people, there becomes (or can become) a trust issue and other issues that are not (or at least have the possibility of not) being healthy to relationships and such.   I guess this mostly applies in a marriage..

I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years and play online games and I'll have to say that this is very similar to the initial fear people had about chat rooms and email back the 90's.

Basically it's ungrounded if your existing real life relationship is a good one, there's a massive difference between online relationships and real ones, I don't mean to say odd things don't happen sometimes like a married person deciding to have a virtual boy/girlfriend, but it's far from the majority of cases.

Mhh.. i experienced enough relationships which broke over new people they found in onlinegames. So i wouldn´t say this is "ungrounded" at all

I´m rather happy that my gf doesn´t play online at all

[NewYears1978]

Eshaye wrote...

NewYears1978 wrote...



I will say that I got much more flack for Online games, over regular games.   Because of the interaction with other people, there becomes (or can become) a trust issue and other issues that are not (or at least have the possibility of not) being healthy to relationships and such.   I guess this mostly applies in a marriage..

I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years and play online games and I'll have to say that this is very similar to the initial fear people had about chat rooms and email back the 90's.

Basically it's ungrounded if your existing real life relationship is a good one, there's a massive difference between online relationships and real ones, I don't mean to say odd things don't happen sometimes like a married person deciding to have a virtual boy/girlfriend, but it's far from the majority of cases.

Oh well definately, if you have a good relationship, there shouldn't be any problems.   In my experience though...if there's not some sort of compromise and agreeance with gaming, it will break that "good" relationship.

If the male wants to play games during ALL his free time and the female is not a gamer...there's going to be trouble.

It's hard to carry on a normal life and be addicted to games..there's just not enough time.  In my case I had to make a schedule for playing games, because there isn't much time.  I have 3 daughters, two jobs...so it severely limits my family time, and game time.  If I just played games whenever I had a free moment..our marriage would fail.

Also..my first marriage failed due to my own selfishness, something I am not proud of at all, but something I will admit.  I was playing games all the time and I neglected my wife..I was too young to realize it at the time...

This time around I am attempting to do things the right way...and I get the best of all the worlds, kids, wife, games..    My wife is understanding too, to an extent, which helps.   

Mhh.. i experienced enough relationships which broke over new people they found in onlinegames. So i wouldn´t say this is "ungrounded" at all

I´m rather happy that my gf doesn´t play online at all

Right, and it happens all the time.   That's the thing of it, if one is a gamer and obsessed...things won't work out right.  If there is a compromise and understanding, and plan, then it should be alright.

Modifié par NewYears1978, 15 octobre 2009 - 09:37 .

[SheffSteel]

This is the best thread I've seen here for a while. Thank you all for your thoughful posts :-) I may write more later...

[Syrellaris]

Some peopel ask questions about it, my mom says i need to waste less cash on it, my girlfriend accepts it. Im not hiding it. If they dont like it, its there problem.

[foxwood1084]

Not in many years. All my firends play games, my parants don't care, my girlfriend plays as many games as I do, so its not an issue.

[NewYears1978]

Syrellaris wrote...

Some peopel ask questions about it, my mom says i need to waste less cash on it, my girlfriend accepts it. Im not hiding it. If they dont like it, its there problem.

I'm glad someone brought up the money aspect of it.  My wife used to tell me it was a waste of money also.  Then I reminded her of things she buys that I could consider a "waste" of money..and we came to an agreement.

Now we have put ourselves on a strict budget to get rid of our debt, so we each have a set allowance per month to spend on "crap" so we spend it on whatever we want and the other says nothing.

Great point though, I bet people get a lot of flack on gaming things...you can go to the movies, for 2 hours worth of entertainment and easily spend 20 bucks if you get food..and that's for one person.  So I spend 50-60 and get much more out of it...what's the difference?

[Maria Caliban]

And keep in mind that every good relationship has low points. Imagine a healthy couple. One person's car gets totaled and they have to pay to replace it. That puts a major strain on their money situation and they start to get stressed.



The gamer might work out that stress by spending more time playing games. This leads to their partner feeling stressed AND lonely, and the relationship begins to deteriorate.



It's not a situation unique to gamers, but games are a fairly cheap way to lose yourself for long periods of time.

[Punahedan]

I'm not questioned, it's just that I feel awkward talking to friends that don't really know what I'm talking about. I mean, I listen to them when they complain/rave/excitedly jabber about their special hobbies/entertainments, but they show zero interest in it. Which is fine, it means I have something to myself, but it can get pretty lonely when I want to talk endlessly about the latest DAO update and have no one. Heheh.



My dad was once a gamer, but mostly FPS/TPS. Which is where I began my gaming. So he gets it when I start talking about "technical" stuff. But he just tunes me out if I start on plot. xD

[Maria Caliban]

SheffSteel wrote...

This is the best thread I've seen here for a while.

Well, the board is only two days old.

[NewYears1978]

Great point Maria =)  Definately gaming is only one thing that could cause strife in a relationship..

I also really like what you said Hawkeyed Cai Li, about feeling akward. This is how I feel when I try to "share" with my wife, my ethusiasm for games. Before the character generator was released I tried to tell her how excited I was that it was coming out, and explain what it was...I felt her blank stare and "what the heck are you talking about" look that she was giving me.......akward.

I still try to include her, today she opened up and read some of the forums and said it was interesting, and even told me she would probably like gaming it's just that she didn't have time for it..didn't want to get too involved and end up not having enough time for other things.

Maria Caliban said...
Well, the board is only two days old.

Hey, don't steal my thunder! He he

Modifié par NewYears1978, 15 octobre 2009 - 10:01 .

[fairandbalancedfan]

Sometimes I feel like I have to defend my hobby to my friends. I usually tell them that they watch TV shows and I play games. It is personal choice imo.

[Viz79]

 I dont have to defend the fact I am playing games from my wife - she understands the pleasure you can get from them.  Heck she often sits next to me and watches me play!  Its my parents that always believed that I'd somehow magically give up gaming when I got older - but why? I grew up with this stuff and its matured while I have - now with mature adult themes perfect for my generation!

The only thing I have to do is balance my time playing with spending time with my wife! Not always easy when you come home from work and want to play an hour of Dragon Age but your wife is expecting you spent time with her after you have been away all day Compromise I have reached is that she plays something she likes on our laptop (shes a gamer in the making, even if shes just working on easy Windows games at the moment ) while I play a game I like on my desktop and we chatter away while we play for the hour/hour and a half.  Seems to work

Many colleagues at work around my age (I am 30) are gamers too - some playing various PC games, other tickering around with console games.  Its all pretty mainstream now!

Modifié par Viz79, 15 octobre 2009 - 10:07 .

[Eshaye]

NewYears1978 wrote...

Eshaye wrote...

NewYears1978 wrote...



I will say that I got much more flack for Online games, over regular games.   Because of the interaction with other people, there becomes (or can become) a trust issue and other issues that are not (or at least have the possibility of not) being healthy to relationships and such.   I guess this mostly applies in a marriage..

I've been in a committed relationship for 10 years and play online games and I'll have to say that this is very similar to the initial fear people had about chat rooms and email back the 90's.

Basically it's ungrounded if your existing real life relationship is a good one, there's a massive difference between online relationships and real ones, I don't mean to say odd things don't happen sometimes like a married person deciding to have a virtual boy/girlfriend, but it's far from the majority of cases.

Oh well definately, if you have a good relationship, there shouldn't be any problems.   In my experience though...if there's not some sort of compromise and agreeance with gaming, it will break that "good" relationship.

If the male wants to play games during ALL his free time and the female is not a gamer...there's going to be trouble.

It's hard to carry on a normal life and be addicted to games..there's just not enough time.  In my case I had to make a schedule for playing games, because there isn't much time.  I have 3 daughters, two jobs...so it severely limits my family time, and game time.  If I just played games whenever I had a free moment..our marriage would fail.

Also..my first marriage failed due to my own selfishness, something I am not proud of at all, but something I will admit.  I was playing games all the time and I neglected my wife..I was too young to realize it at the time...

This time around I am attempting to do things the right way...and I get the best of all the worlds, kids, wife, games..    My wife is understanding too, to an extent, which helps.   

Mhh.. i experienced enough relationships which broke over new people they found in onlinegames. So i wouldn´t say this is "ungrounded" at all

I´m rather happy that my gf doesn´t play online at all

Right, and it happens all the time.   That's the thing of it, if one is a gamer and obsessed...things won't work out right.  If there is a compromise and understanding, and plan, then it should be alright.

So basically the relatioship failed due to negligence NOT due to video games, that's just what YOU did. Another person would have been drinking with their friends too much, playing golf too much, had a fling with a co worker, been unkind ect.... 

Addiction is a serious psychological (some say clinical) problem and has little to do with what you are addicted to (unless it's hard drugs), it's more WHY you do it in the first place. 

So again if you are healthy and know how to manage yourself and your time what is there to fear about online friends? Not a whole lot, otherwise you might as well stop going to work or any social gathering because everyone you meet is a potential threat to your intimate relationship. 

Oh and it's not just a male thing either, a woman is just as likely to get 'addicted' to gaming or the internet.  But overall I think we agree! 

[NewYears1978]

Viz79 wrote...

 I dont have to defend the fact I am playing games from my wife - she understands the pleasure you can get from them.  Heck she often sits next to me and watches me play!  Its my parents that always believed that I'd somehow magically give up gaming when I got older - but why? I grew up with this stuff and its matured while I have - now with mature adult themes perfect for my generation!

The only thing I have to do is balance my time playing with spending time with my wife! Not always easy when you come home from work and want to play an hour of Dragon Age but your wife is expecting you spent time with her after you have been away all day Compromise I have reached is that she plays something she likes on our laptop (shes a gamer in the making, even if shes just working on easy Windows games at the moment ) while I play a game I like on my desktop and we chatter away while we play for the hour/hour and a half.  Seems to work

Many colleagues at work around my age (I am 30) are gamers too - some playing various PC games, other tickering around with console games.  Its all pretty mainstream now!

Pretty cool, I like that.  I have an actual schedule.  It changes depending on my work day off, but is almost always the same.  Monday night I can play from 10pm - any time I want because I am off Tuesday.  I play all day Tuesday (Not counting any errands I have)...then I work at the chuch at night on Tuesday so generally I don't play that night.  Wed, she has events at the church, I don't so I play from 6-8 until she returns.  We have dinner and time together and then I can play from 10pm - 2am.  Thursday Night I work at the church again and I typically don't play at all.   Friday Is family night where we try to do things with the kids or whatnot...sometimes I play a couple hours..sometimes not.  Saturday I work, and depending on what we do at night I may get a little play time.
Sunday is classified as Football day.  I watch NFL all day (except when at church).  I usually get a few hours in there to ply as well.

So...I guess it works...just hope when DA:O comes out, I can stick tot he schedule.   The rule goes, if I don't follow the schedule, I lose a play day.  Hehe.

@Eshaye

Definately, it's not just gaming, it's anything that you let obsess you take your time.  I've learned now as you can see above...to compromise and manage my time better...nothing like before..hehe.   Well, there were other factors in my first marriage as well, on both parties.  Anyways..getting off topic =)

Modifié par NewYears1978, 15 octobre 2009 - 10:19 .

[Viz79]

NewYears1978 wrote...

Viz79 wrote...

 I dont have to defend the fact I am playing games from my wife - she understands the pleasure you can get from them.  Heck she often sits next to me and watches me play!  Its my parents that always believed that I'd somehow magically give up gaming when I got older - but why? I grew up with this stuff and its matured while I have - now with mature adult themes perfect for my generation!

The only thing I have to do is balance my time playing with spending time with my wife! Not always easy when you come home from work and want to play an hour of Dragon Age but your wife is expecting you spent time with her after you have been away all day Compromise I have reached is that she plays something she likes on our laptop (shes a gamer in the making, even if shes just working on easy Windows games at the moment ) while I play a game I like on my desktop and we chatter away while we play for the hour/hour and a half.  Seems to work

Many colleagues at work around my age (I am 30) are gamers too - some playing various PC games, other tickering around with console games.  Its all pretty mainstream now!

Pretty cool, I like that.  I have an actual schedule.  It changes depending on my work day off, but is almost always the same.  Monday night I can play from 10pm - any time I want because I am off Tuesday.  I play all day Tuesday (Not counting any errands I have)...then I work at the chuch at night on Tuesday so generally I don't play that night.  Wed, she has events at the church, I don't so I play from 6-8 until she returns.  We have dinner and time together and then I can play from 10pm - 2am.  Thursday Night I work at the church again and I typically don't play at all.   Friday Is family night where we try to do things with the kids or whatnot...sometimes I play a couple hours..sometimes not.  Saturday I work, and depending on what we do at night I may get a little play time.
Sunday is classified as Football day.  I watch NFL all day (except when at church).  I usually get a few hours in there to ply as well.

So...I guess it works...just hope when DA:O comes out, I can stick tot he schedule.   The rule goes, if I don't follow the schedule, I lose a play day.  Hehe.

Yeah best to work these things out - you don't want to spent all your time with each other (and suffocate each other!) but you do want to give each other quality time together.  Best to balance it out and discuss it!

[JointVW]

I don't really have to defend myself since most people i know either play games themselves or just don't understand me so i don't bother with defending myself.



Only thing i ever needed to defend was for my monthly expenses on WoW, but that was mainly bc people didn't get why i would pay a monthly fee to play a game.