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[Tarante11a]

Inspired by the fact that I've just started ME1 again to do a full run through to ME2. I had forgotten the frustration...

Stress of the Mako

Kaidan: - Left… left…. LEFT SHEPHERD… NO THAT’S TOO LEFT… Sh*t, Shepherd, have you ever actually learned to drive… I mean did you even have lessons…?

Femshep:- Look, f*ck off,  Kaidan, I’d like to see you do any better… this thing… looks like a cow, moves like a cow… steers…

Kaidan: - …like a hippo on ice… yes we all know that…why don’t you just go a bit… HOLY CRAP LOOK OUT!

[General scraping, graunching and bumping.  Static.  Someone being sick.  Silence…]

Garrus:- Can’t we just walk?

Femshep:- Jeez Garrus, did you have to do it on the floor?

Garrus:- I told you I don’t travel well in the back…

Femshep *muttering*:- … such a p*ssy…

Garrus:- How come he always gets to ride shotgun anyway?  I’ve got mad gun skills compared to him…

Femshep:-  Quit whining Garrus…

Kaidan:- Great, we’re stuck.  Use the thrusters… thrusters… *sighs* nevermind..

Femshep:- I’M USING THE THRUSTERS!!... Look you said ‘left’… I went left… fat lot of good it…

Kaidan:- I meant left about five miles ago, I didn’t tell you to drive insanely fast up a mountain and then to crash into a hole.

Garrus *quietly*:-… I’m just saying that if someone had to fire a ‘shotgun’ I would be better, is all…

[Noise of hissing thrusters and spinning tires.  Loud bumping.]

Kaidan:-… finally…

[Grumpy silence]

Garrus:-  Is it because he thinks your hot?... it is isn’t it… isn’t it?  Cause I…

Femshep:- Shut up Garrus… Ok so tell me where I should be going now.

Kaidan:- Well, I planted that beacon… so you could just follow the arrow… y’know… use your navigation skills… unless you can’t because…

Femshep *gasps*:- Your going to say I can’t because I’m a chick aren’t you…

Kaidan *indignant exasperation*:- WHAT?  No I wasn’t… what are you talking about?  What the hell is the matter with you? Is it the wrong time of the month or something?

[Screeching of tires to halt.  Engine thrum]

Femshep:-  I can’t… believe… you said that!

[Slamming door]

Kaidan:- Shepherd come back… SHEPHERD?... *mutters* Oh man…

[Slamming door.  Silence]

Garrus:- I mean… cause he just throws and opens stuff… he could just like… open the glove box or… or…

[Muffled distant yelling.  Bag of crisps being opened.  Crunching]

Garrus *thinks*:- I guess she is quite hot…


 edited because I spelled 'Kaidan' wrong all the way through *blushes*

Modifié par Tarante11a, 27 mars 2010 - 02:48 .

[Zaxares]

5 star approval.



I presume your FemShep dumps Kaidan in ME2 and hooks up with Garrus then? "Your waist is... very supportive!"

[Tarante11a]

Hee hee - thanks Zaxares - I wasn't sure if I should post this really so thanks for the note of approval!



And yes, my first Femshep dumped Kaidan like a hot brick for Garrus. Although I have to say, Garrus' attempts at romance left a bit to be desired - I thought he'd be a *little* more relaxed and suave. Poor Garrus - and as you can see from my sig - I thought Mordin's helpful advice was spectacularly funny.



^^

[Zaxares]

You're welcome. And hey, if we're nervous, that just means we REALLY like you.



But yeah, Mordin has some awesome lines. I haven't actually started playing ME2 yet, but I've watched some dialogue clips on Youtube. (Even though I should know better...)

[MrGooberMan]

I feel your stress...I hated driving that thing...Over steep mountains and all that stuff and what the hell is the jets for? I hardly had to use them...wait never even used them once!

[Zaxares]

The thrusters are really only for jumping over rockets/geth pulses/Thresher Maw spittle. They're more or less useless for navigation.



(Unless you use the PC cheat to boost the thrusters to triple their normal power value, in which case you can use the thrusters to jump over low mountain ranges. )