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[Cruel Writer]

…or how to
get rid of the oldies.

Yeah, so I
guess it’s pretty clear that our ME2 team won’t be here in ME3 due to their Schrödinger’s
Cat status at the end of the game. So, how will the writers get rid of them?
They can’t very well pull another ‘two years later’ trick, because come
ooooooon. After an ending like that? No way…

Here’s my
theory on how it’s going to work if they all live. Keep in mind that it is
incomplete and some decisions you can make in the game can turn it upside down.
Oh yes, and spoilers ahoy!

 

Thane dies,
obviously. They set him up especially so they could kill him off without any
problems. Or if he isn’t dead already, he’s in a hospital and you get to visit
him for the last time or something.

 

And since
Thane is dead, one of the girls also has to die. Otherwise the fangirls would
RAGE at how their favorite boytoy is dead, but you guys get to keep all your
ladies. The most obvious candidate for me is Miranda. It would fit very well if
she got murdered by TIM after you flip him off with the Base. She probably
knows too much for TIM to let her live after something like that. But there’s
the option where you don’t kick Cerberus in the quads, and that ruins that
theory. But then she could get offed by her father. Or something. Gyaaagh,
details.

 

Anyway, we’ve
got Thane and Miranda death. Good for us. Now let’s look at other LIs: our alien
duo. Tali becomes a Quarian admiral. Cheers! Except that not really. If she
gets herself exiled, that’s not really possible. But maaaaybe… maybe a part of
the Flotilla would separate from the main group convinced by The Most Awesome
Quarian alive, Kal’Reegar to join your cause under Tali’s command. That would
kick some serious a**!

 

Garrus
would become a Spectre. The second game kind of implies that he didn’t make it
after ME1, but now? C’mon!

Garrus;
Hey, I wanna be a spectre.

Council:
Well…

Garrus:
Guys, I helped save the Galaxy twice. Gimme a break!

Council: Yeah,
okay. Here you go.

 

Next,
Grunt. He goes to Tuchanka and takes his place as Wrex’s most trusted
lieutenant. Obviously.

 

Mordin… He’s
a tricky one. I’d think that he would be recalled by the Salarians to serve as
an consultant. Or something. I’m guessing during your mission he picked up a
lot data that could possibly come in handy.

 

Samara goes
back to go her Justicar thing, but returns with a giant fleet to help you in
the final showdown. She promised.

 

Now, Jacob.
I’m thinking he would stick with you. He already is uncertain about Cerberus,
and if they kill Miranda like I suggested, he would go on a roaring rampage of
revenge. And if you didn’t cross TIM, he stays because you’re awesome like
that.

 

Jack would
stay as well, simply because she has nowhere else to go. And potentially, you’re
the only one who’s ever shown her kindness. So yeah, she sticks around.

 

Now Legion,
he’s a full time recurring character, providing you didn’t sell him to
Cerberus. He’s just so freaking easy to replace, even if he dies. It would
probably go something like this:

Legion 2.0:
Hello, I’m Legion 2.0, your new liaison between you and the Geth, since you got
the last one killed, ******

That’s of
course if you did his loyalty mission. If you didn’t, you’re royally screwed.
Because then, all of the Geth got brainwashed by the virus to worship the
Reapers and they want to kill you. Nice job, hero!

 

Zaeed is
DLC, so he won’t be back in any capacity. I don’t think they’d bother. ‘Sides,
he’s pretty forgettable anyway.

 

Now, to sum
it up, all of them except for the people who stay with you (Jacob, Jack,
Legion) would matter only in the narrative, to give your story that personal
stamp, like the emails and cameos in ME2. It would probably go like this:

“Admiral
Quarian McBuckethead/Tali’Zorah vas blahblah reports for duty. Our fleet will
join your forces, o Glorious and Wonderful Shepard”

Or

“Shepard,
spectre Garrus is doing an important missions on the planet GHhjsdhj, go do a
sidequest for him. Thx.”

 

So yeah,
this is my idea. As you can see, I assumed a lot about the choices made
throughout the games. Discussion, please? Maybe we can figure out a more
universal theory, or think up variations for different choices than those
presented here (like for example dead Wrex or staying loyal to Cerberus.)