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[Jackal904]

Urdaniel wrote...

Time for a "please don't kill me" moment. 

I just posted the first installment of my Jack/MeerShep fanfic on Fanfiction.net:

Things Worth Keeping

I would greatly appreciate it if the fine folks in this thread who are so inclined would find it in their heart of hearts and their busy schedules to read the first installment and give their opinions and/or critiques, whether in a review over at FFN or in a post here.

Yes I'm bloody nervous to step out from behind the curtain like this.  Between Mondo's proven talent with the written word and the insight of people like royce, york, Jackal, Johnny, Bobby, gneiss, and a whole bunch of folks whose names I've probably missed (and to whom I profusely apologize), I've certainly got a tough row to hoe.

I've no illusions that I've gotten Jack down pat (let alone 100%), but I've tried to keep in mind all the discussions we've had about her in this thread and incorporated them as best as my meager skills will allow.  It may not be obvious in this first installment, but a few of the things tossed about in the 250+ pages of this thread gave me ideas for one-liners and situations that will certainly show up later.  I have consciously tried to avoid treading on territory that Mondo has covered before, whether on her blog or in one of her posts here (although as I said, I've tried to incorporate the insights into Jack's character that Mondo and others have put forward), so that the story can stand on its own merits.

I've given blanket credit to all of you in the author's notes that are at the top of the story page, because if I reach any sort of height at all, it has been by standing on all of your shoulders.  So thank you to all of you, and I once more beg your indulgence.

P.S.  Trolls and flamers need not apply.

Thumbs up! Very nice job. I had a long day of classes, so it was really nice to come home to some Jack fanfic .

I really liked the scene at the end with Jack getting mad at Shepard for "handling her with kid gloves." That was very heartwarming. And I laughed at the beginning when Shepard kept making all those accidental innuendos. But like york  said, don't feel the need to include ideas from this thread. Go with whatever you feel works.

Again, great job, and I can't wait to read more :happy:.

yorkj86 wrote...

After our discussion of Jane Austen and
Jack in a dress, an idea hit me, so I commissioned this from our own
Epantiras:

[snip]

Lmao. I literally laughed out loud at seeing this . Great job Epantiras.

Modifié par Jackal904, 10 mai 2010 - 10:15 .

[Mondo47]

Iron Man195 wrote...

^ All is forgiven.

Perhaps a little obscure, but whenever anyone says "All is forgiven" I immediately think without fail -

Heal me, darling,
Pleaded the Playboy bedroom eyes

And it's happened since about 1994 just like that...

I'll make up for my age with a pic too...

[Jackal904]

^ Where is that from?

[Mondo47]

Jackal904 wrote...

^ Where is that from?

Hypocrite, Foreflusher, Snake-in-the-Grass, Just a Swindler and Wolf in Sheep's Clothing - Liar!

The bastard offspring of an ill-advised three-way liaison between The Beatles, Queen and The Who. In an electrical storm. While off their faces on acid. 'Tis the mighty Jellyfish.

And their two albums are sandwiched between Aphex Twin and Bodycount on my CD rack. My tastes are messed up

[Jackal904]

I meant the picture...

[Mondo47]

Jackal904 wrote...

I meant the picture...

Would have thought it was obvious from the big crates in the background - it's Pragia

[Jackal904]

Oh yeah , durp.

[Urdaniel]

royceclemens wrote...

If I may add my own little bit of
dialogue advice, there's an author you might have heard of named Elmore
Leonard.  No one in any medium writes better, more natural sounding
dialogue.  Pick up three books he's written after THE BIG BOUNCE (all
the ones before are westerns).  I'm not gonna tell you which ones,
because he's never written a bad book.

Leonard's bread-and-butter
is the gulf between how people see themselves and how they really
are... Which is kinda the core of Jack.

Thanks; I'll be sure to check them out when I get the chance.  And actually, I remembered what you said during the Stephanie Meyer/Twilight discussion and looked up Leonard's "10 Rules" before I got started in earnest.  Helpful, but more difficult to follow than a quick glance might suggest. 

Jackal904 wrote...

Thumbs up! Very nice job. I had a
long day of classes, so it was really nice to come home to some Jack
fanfic [smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/smile.png[/smilie].

I
really liked the scene at the end with Jack getting mad at Shepard for
"handling her with kid gloves." That was very heartwarming. And I
laughed at the beginning when Shepard kept making all those accidental
innuendos. But like york  said, don't feel the need to include ideas
from this thread. Go with whatever you feel works.

Again, great
job, and I can't wait to read more [smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/happy.png[/smilie].

Thanks for reading and thanks for the praise and advice, Jackal.  I'll try not to disappoint (too badly) with the subsequent installments. 

[axl99]

Just got back completely knackered from my part-time gig and read your fic Urd.

Very fluffy. I want to bunch it up into a pillow and bury my face in it.

Just found this: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5894025/7/I_thought_this_was_a_dark_depressing_mission

Great for laughs, it'll make more sense after watching the videos of what every character says upon seeing Jack in cryo for the first time.

Modifié par axl99, 11 mai 2010 - 02:29 .

[Jackal904]

Lmao I remember watching that video a while ago. That fanfic was hilarious . I don't understand why a character always suggests knocking Jack out and taking her on the Normandy. Do they really want to ****** off the crazy super biotic even more? When anyone suggests knocking her out, I just want to say to them, "Alright, go ahead, let me know how that goes." And I love how Tali can suggest it. Like seriously Tali? Chambers could kick your ass let alone the violent chick who can crush you with her mind.

[Jackal904]

Here is a video someone from this forum made of all possible outcomes with the conflicts between Jack/Miranda, and Tali/Legion. I figured some of you might be interested in it.

Modifié par Jackal904, 11 mai 2010 - 02:11 .

[Urdaniel]

axl99 wrote...

Just got back completely knackered from my part-time gig and read your fic Urd.

Very fluffy. I want to bunch it up into a pillow and bury my face in it.

Thanks axl.

[axl99]

I just remembered something.



When Jack was first recruited on the Normandy and Shepard gave her full access to the Cerberus database, how much of it has she really gone through?



Bear with me here.



Obviously she's looked for every connection to the Teltin facility and going to Pragia to blow it up was enough for her, but what if she didn't actually stop there? Remember we're talking about someone who can memorize biotic implant schematics at a glance. It's tempting not to take advantage of having full access to an entire database of classified information.



Blueprints for science/military facilities, prototypes of new technology in development, field test results of ongoing experiments, financial/transmission logs, star charts of the known location of every Cerberus cell member in the universe.



Assuming the Illusive Man hadn't blocked off access to the database at any point in the game, Jack could be even more dangerous with the new knowledge she may now possess of his little organization. Of course there's no real telling if she'll know more than Miranda, but it's interesting food for thought.

[Andaius20]

for anyone who missed it last time:

[MHRazer]

axl99 wrote...

I just remembered something.

When Jack was first recruited on the Normandy and Shepard gave her full access to the Cerberus database, how much of it has she really gone through?

Bear with me here.

Obviously she's looked for every connection to the Teltin facility and going to Pragia to blow it up was enough for her, but what if she didn't actually stop there? Remember we're talking about someone who can memorize biotic implant schematics at a glance. It's tempting not to take advantage of having full access to an entire database of classified information.

Blueprints for science/military facilities, prototypes of new technology in development, field test results of ongoing experiments, financial/transmission logs, star charts of the known location of every Cerberus cell member in the universe.

Assuming the Illusive Man hadn't blocked off access to the database at any point in the game, Jack could be even more dangerous with the new knowledge she may now possess of his little organization. Of course there's no real telling if she'll know more than Miranda, but it's interesting food for thought.

I know Jack was given "full access" but I'd assume that anything she would have access to in the database, so would Shepard. So all of that information would be available to him as well... since he seems to know none of that, my guess is Jack's "full access" wasn't all that full, and more limited to Pragia and information directly concerning her. 

[axl99]

I agree. It's possible the "full access" isn't actually full access. On the other hand if you bring Miranda with you to Purgatory she'll protest against Shepard giving Jack full access to the database.  The crux of the matter is just how much information was really available.

It's also possible Shepard doesn't have complete access to the database if Jack was granted the same clearance. Given the desperate circumstances with the Collectors however, Cerberus would do just about anything to resolve the threat.

The Illusive Man seems confident in the notion Jack won't care about anything else but the data on Pragia. This confidence is also demonstrated by the fact he's made use of his previous investment - Jack - by actually having Shepard recruit her on his team. Both of them already have a bone to pick wtih Cerberus, having them in an area where he can monitor their every move supposedly puts him in control.

Since the Omega 4 relay was practically a suicide mission I doubt he believed Jack would survive long enough to make use of that information anyway, even with Shepard on board holding the crew together.

Modifié par axl99, 12 mai 2010 - 04:30 .

[Collider]

I think TIM or Miranda could easily manipulate the data so it appears there was full access but there really wasn't. Just a thought.

[Epantiras]

MHRazer wrote...

axl99 wrote...

I just remembered something.

When Jack was first recruited on the Normandy and Shepard gave her full access to the Cerberus database, how much of it has she really gone through?

Bear with me here.

Obviously she's looked for every connection to the Teltin facility and going to Pragia to blow it up was enough for her, but what if she didn't actually stop there? Remember we're talking about someone who can memorize biotic implant schematics at a glance. It's tempting not to take advantage of having full access to an entire database of classified information.

Blueprints for science/military facilities, prototypes of new technology in development, field test results of ongoing experiments, financial/transmission logs, star charts of the known location of every Cerberus cell member in the universe.

Assuming the Illusive Man hadn't blocked off access to the database at any point in the game, Jack could be even more dangerous with the new knowledge she may now possess of his little organization. Of course there's no real telling if she'll know more than Miranda, but it's interesting food for thought.

I know Jack was given "full access" but I'd assume that anything she would have access to in the database, so would Shepard. So all of that information would be available to him as well... since he seems to know none of that, my guess is Jack's "full access" wasn't all that full, and more limited to Pragia and information directly concerning her. 

Don't forget that she was given "full access" BEFORE the Collectors invading the ship. Only after *that* event EDI gets full access herself - yet there's still a limit to the info she can gather about Cerberus, for example the identity of other cells and so on. Therefore, Jack still knows less than EDI and Shepard at the end of ME2 (unless she checked the database after the Collectors invasion).
BTW if I remember correctly, each cell doesn't know the other cells.

[royceclemens]

TIM wrote Cerberus encryption protovols for incoming transmissions, so I think he knows what's in the Normandy databases and who can access them. It's not as though Jack found something that he didn't want her to see. I find it easier to believe that he left the Pragia files on the databases for the direct purpose of Jack seeing them. That way, Jack being Jack, she'll go and destroy the evidence.

[Jackal904]

Yeah I don't think she was given "full" access exactly. I'm sure there was top secret information that was blocked off. Like Epantiras said, even EDI doesn't have true full access.

[Errol Dnamyx]

Lets just say she got access to the information related to her in any way.