Ok, can I have this on record now as my Predictions of How By-The-Numbers Any ME Movie (Series) Will Be?
So, assuming the dolts with dollar signs in their eyes follow the game's main events in the slightest...
*ahem*
Mass Effect
1) Tough luck, Ashley-Fans - because I'm willing to bet that the studio script will plump for Liara as the entire saga's overall love interest, they'll have to weed out the competition in a noble sacrifice, so Ash will get to sit on the Virmire bomb.
2) Wrex fans will also get the shaft as he will doubtless be maginalised as an overly-bloodthirsty killing machine and an example of a "bad alien" (read foreign national whose homeland requires the guidance of the democratic, capitalistic world to teach it how to play with its toys properly... go on, read between the lines, folks).
3) Tali fans will get shafted even worse - Quarian = lame exposition vehicle for the Geth-sections of the backstory.
4) Liara will be the hot alien bookworm gagging for a bit of prime earthman (and provider of Prothean exposition when she's not making moon-eyes at Shep... no change there then).
5) Garrus and Kaidan will be Shep's horse and Sancho Panza respectively as he tilts against the windmill of Sovereign. Garrus following Shep's lead always, and Kaidan being his moral compass for the audience's benefit.
6) In other news, the Rachni Queen will be released (and give Wrex a chance to rant about it, reinforcing his unmerciful, undemocratic (chuckle chuckle) alien stereotype. Saren will be voiced by some suitably good actor well on his way to complete typecasting hell (Hugo Weaving, then). The Council can breathe a sigh of relief because Shep will let good ol' Humanity show the galaxy the downright big-balled-ness of its military and how truly rightious democratic, capitalistic nations truly are - hurrah!
Mass Effect 2
1) Oh Jackolytes... break out your hankies. Our gal is doomed; doomed not to get with Shep (maybe a makeout scene that Shep will, in all his nobility, break off) and doomed to die in the Suicide Mission and tell Shep with her last breath what a swell guy he was and how she would have happily made the sickeningly pathetic, submissive male fantasy ho-into-housewife transition for him. We'd better take sickbags too for that scene. And she'll probably have a protopunk hairstyle too. Can't have too many love interests complicating things...
2) Cry into your goldfish bowls, Talimancers - no Hollywood blockbuster is going to try and float a romance with an alien that spends all her screentime dressed as a skindiver, especially when the movie eye-candy comes in a Miranda-shaped bottle. Do the exposition about the Flotilla and be happy you even got that.
3) Miranda fans can celebrate. Because Liara is being "odd" about Shep's death and resurrection, he'll fall conveniently into the arms of the hot chick (because it's what the male teenage demographic will want - face facts, women in these kinds of blockbuster will only be there for the three S's: smiling, screaming and screwing).
4) Kaidan will haul his captain over the ashes for being with Cerberus, while Garrus will just drop back into being Garrus. Jacob is a bit of a fifth-wheel, so he'll buy it in the Suicide Mission (potentially at least - bets are off a little in the last episode).
5) Wrex will have embraced democracy and capitalism and become a grumpy old loveable uncle character, leading the Krogan to a new way of living just like everyone else... fingers down throat, blargh!
6) Liara will be distant and strange still, but there'll be so much sexual tension you'll think she's going to mount Shep on the desk there and then, but... not for another episode folks...
7) Grunt will be like Jar-Jar Binks with a steroid habit; big, strong, angry comic relief. Mordin will be brainiac comic relief. Legion will be a slightly eerie robot. I want to cry already...
8) Everyone else will buy it in the Suicide Mission (Thane will go no doubt holding a position against impossible odds, Jacob will catch a bullet, Jack will get a soppy death, Samara will go out like a cut-rate Obi-Wan with boobs, Mordin might get snuffed too. Kelly will always be the one we see getting goo-ified; because she's so nice it'll just drive home how much of a bag of bastards the Collectors are.
9) The Illusive Man will be just like the game incarnation - it's the only thing they'll get right because he's so damn two-dimensional.
Mass Effect 3 - The Final Insult
1) While we all know nothing at this point, I'm willing to bet Shep caps TIM, beats the Reapers once and for all, and all will be well in the galaxy. Miranda will see how much Shep really loves Liara, and will be so sanguine about the relationship and how Shep is 'meant to be with the blue gal' she'll let him go without any sense of identity, allowing Shep to reconcile with Liara and cue the big happy ending and roll the credits.
Now I want to be wrong here. Totally and utterly wrong. I don't want any of the crap above to come to pass. But, considering the way the studios treat properties that come from video games... part of me just thinks that at least half of the lowest-common-denominator junk above will end up in the movie. Sure, it'll be a fairly entertaining popcorn flick, but it will never, ever, be all that it can be, nor will it come close to our experience as gamers.
Unless the movie is scored by Wyld Stallyns, directed by someone with an eye, half a brain, and who isn't obsessed with visual effects, and has Jack with her iconic shaved head and tattoos... I'll be giving it a miss until it gets a DVD release.