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[Homebound]

Rift opens up in the space-time continuem and drops Jack off in Dragon age

Gray Warden: What devilry is this?! You there! Sky wench! What doth be?

Jack: I'll smear the wall with you b*****!

[stormrain]

[quote]Pacifien wrote...
Where is Urdaniel? Have we somehow scared him off?[/quote]
[/quote]
His last update said real life was getting in the way. Could be he's just distracted and has no time to post or write.

[quote]Mondo47 wrote...
Ok, I can't fill in for Urdaniel, but I can try...

Kids - tell me what you want to read, and I'll write it. I'd do a poll, but it'd just draw the wrong kind of flies. So... what do you want Jack to do today?
[/quote]

Weren't you and Epantiras planning something a ways back, and before that you were planning something else on your own...

Modifié par Captain Uccisore, 12 juillet 2010 - 06:09 .

[Mondo47]

Meanwhile, on the Presidium...


Jack is standing on a bridge spanning one of the reservoirs on the Presidium. She looks down the ring; taking in the waters gentle ripple in response to the soft harassment of the cascade fountains, the stepped pyramids of glass, metal and ivy that make up the many offices and residences, the muted whine of personal shuttles moving overhead, the sounds of countless people's passing footsteps and conversations - everything that gives the Presidium a sense of life. She leans on the bridge railing and rubs at her eyes. She never hears the footsteps behind her.

Kasumi: I'll give you a credit for them.

Jack whirls around, teeth bared, hand pulled back and balled into a fist on autopilot. Kasumi smiles disarmingly and raises her hands in supplication.

Kasumi: Hey! I'm sorry! I guess not many people hear me coming...

Jack relaxes her arm and her face falls back into a stern grimace of disapproval.

Jack: Whatever. Maybe you shouldn't sneak around everywhere like you're looking for something to steal?

Kasumi: Force of habit. Besides, who says I'm not? Lot of money up here.

Jack: You're telling me.

Kasumi: All these politicians around here, they're bound to have something worthwhile tucked away in their homes. Paintings, jewelery, artifacts...

Jack: Never bothered with sh*t like that. Too easy to trace, can't sell it easily.

Kasumi: Depends on who you know.

Jack: You're better off over there...

Jack points towards a party of tourists moving slowly in a clot along one of the promenades.

Jack: ... steer them down a back alley, draw a weapon... everything you take that isn't credits you can sell in a half hour.

Kasumi: I guess armed robbery was never my thing.

Jack: (snorting) You should go try it.

Kasumi: You're not easy to talk to, are you Jack?

Jack: Suits me fine...

Kasumi: I can understand, though. You're tough because you have to be.

Jack: (with a little aggression) You been spying on me?

Kasumi: Oh no! Nothing like that! I just took the liberty of reading your file... you've been to a lot of places the bravest people would fear to tread. I have to say, I was impressed at all those prison escapes...

Jack: I never wanted to be in any of those sh*tholes, you think I was just going to sit there waiting to see which dumb f*cker was gonna try to knife me or hold me down and screw me? F*ck that...

Kasumi: I guess that's no incentive to stay, unless you like things like that.

Jack: And you think from looking at me that I do?

Kasumi: Quite the opposite. You look like a woman that shouldn't be crossed if you enjoy living for much longer.

Jack: You're smarter than you look, then.

Kasumi: (ignoring the insult) Thank you. It's nice to be appreciated.

Jack: (testy) Look, did you want something other than to just try to ****** me off? I ain't in the mood.

Kasumi: Don't worry, that's the last thing I'd want to do... I just wondered why someone as dangerous as you would stand on a bridge for an hour looking so lost. And it's not because you can't find something to steal or some poor tourist to turn over. I was curious...

Jack turns back to the vista sweeping away down the ring.

Jack: I've never seen a place like this before. It's... not a place someone like me ever sees. Can't imagine what it's like seeing this every day. There's too many f*ckin' people here, but when you tune them out...

Kasumi: Like something from a vid, isn't it?

Jack: Yeah. One I don't belong in.

Kasumi: Well, since you're here, I guess you do now. Kind of nice to change your story, isn't it?

Jack allows the barest of smiles to flit over her hard face.

Jack: I don't know... I -

Jack turns back, but Kasumi is no longer there; gone as though she never was to begin with...

[Arhka]

Nice story. Love how Kasumi can bring out other character's qualities.

[Jackal904]

Just_mike wrote...

Rift opens up in the space-time continuem and drops Jack off in Dragon age

Gray Warden: What devilry is this?! You there! Sky wench! What doth be?

Jack: I'll smear the wall with you b*****!

This made me laugh more than I would have expected .


@Mondo

Wow that was really good Mondo . You did a great job at keeping her in character. I like it when she's mostly tough and only shows a few moments of softness. And I like Jack fanfics with her talking to other squadmates. It helps fill the hole left by ME2. Again, great job .

Modifié par Jackal904, 12 juillet 2010 - 06:39 .

[Gethforceone]

Nice.

[Mondo47]

Captain Uccisore wrote...

Weren't you and Epantiras planning something a ways back, and before that you were planning something else on your own...

Yes and yes, but one will be a while in the making yet, and the other will is very long-range and not even related to ME save in the most tangenital manner.

In other words, wait and see

[Mondo47]

Jackal904 wrote...

@Mondo

Wow that was really good Mondo . You did a great job at keeping her in character. I like it when she's mostly tough and only shows a few moments of softness. And I like Jack fanfics with her talking to other squadmates. It helps fill the hole left by ME2. Again, great job .

I was trying to catch Jack maybe just after the trip to Teltin; still very untrusting in comparison to my later 'Happy Jack'... I tend to leave going to the Citadel to talk to Anderson for a while on my playthroughs, but I guess we popped in to pick up Kasumi early on this time. I thought about doing it with Thane, but he was way too philosophical in his replies, and then with Tali but I think Jack would have just been rude and upset her well before any story came out, and Garrus isn't much for talking to anyone but the old posse, and we all know Grunt 's only interested in Presidium fish ... and you can forget about Miri and Jacob and Samara... sooooo, happy-go-lucky Asian gal it was

[Mondo47]

Any more ideas? I think I have some more creative juice I can squeeze out tonight...

[Jackal904]

Mondo47 wrote...

Jackal904 wrote...

@Mondo

Wow that was really good Mondo . You did a great job at keeping her in character. I like it when she's mostly tough and only shows a few moments of softness. And I like Jack fanfics with her talking to other squadmates. It helps fill the hole left by ME2. Again, great job .

I was trying to catch Jack maybe just after the trip to Teltin; still very untrusting in comparison to my later 'Happy Jack'... I tend to leave going to the Citadel to talk to Anderson for a while on my playthroughs, but I guess we popped in to pick up Kasumi early on this time. I thought about doing it with Thane, but he was way too philosophical in his replies, and then with Tali but I think Jack would have just been rude and upset her well before any story came out, and Garrus isn't much for talking to anyone but the old posse, and we all know Grunt 's only interested in Presidium fish ... and you can forget about Miri and Jacob and Samara... sooooo, happy-go-lucky Asian gal it was

Yeah I think Kasumi was the perfect character for that scene, whom you also did a great job at keeping in character .

Mondo47 wrote...

Any more ideas? I think I have some more creative juice I can squeeze out tonight...

How about the scene where Shepard talks to the council or Anderson for the first time since he died, and of course he has Jack with him. On my first playthrough of ME2 I was always expecting someone who I knew in ME1 to look at Jack and make a comment like, "Who the hell is this? Is this the kind of people you're hanging around with now Shepard?" Followed up by Jack saying, "Excuse me? What the **** did you just say?!" And then Shepard tries to prevent Jack from ****ing that person up .

Modifié par Jackal904, 12 juillet 2010 - 07:32 .

[Pacifien]

Right, so here's for something different that does not involve me writing about Jack's tragic childhood.

There he was again, the Turian C-Sec officer making another pass across the bridge. He'd already been by twice before, trying to be discrete in his interest in the human lying on the grass. Jack figured by the fourth pass he'd have practiced his disciplinary speech enough to gather the courage to tell this vagrant to get off the lawn. She already had a groundskeeper waving his arms frantically when she had waded ankle-deep into the lake.

Jack flexed her toes again, relishing the cool and massaging feel of the grass along her bare skin. She watched the politicians and businessmen hustle about their drab routines, taking little more than a glimpse at her as they speeded along their way. She figured they were more likely to marvel at the incongruity of her presence than awknowledge the trees or the water.

Jack remembered Kasumi's comments as they were filtering through Citadel security on their way the station proper. "I love wandering the Presidium, but it always seems the more grand the view, the less the inhabitants ever appreciate it. Leaves you feeling cold." That's probably why Kasumi left for the lower Tayseri Ward. Even as she enjoyed the slight rustle of the artificial wind, Jack felt it was all a waste on these people.

She spotted him before he could see her. Shepard had Stone Faced Look #3, the one that she recognized as extreme displeasure with the situation. The meeting with the Council obviously did not go well, not that she couldn't have guessed that beforehand. He was heading in her direction, and Jack wondered if perhaps they should forego the promised shopping trip and head back to the Normandy for something a little more stress-relieving.

She went to gather her discarded boots and strap them back on when she felt that unmistakeable sense that she was being watched. Seemed the Turian had finally gathered his courage to give her the third degree. As Jack looked up, though, instead of a barefaced Turian she saw Shepard with his arms crossed staring down on her from the bridge. Rather than his previous expressionless facade, he had this ridiculous grin on his face as he looked at her. Jack quickly finished putting on her shoes before jumping up and jogging over to the idiot.

"What's with that look?" she demanded in greeting.

"What look? I can't be happy to see you?" was Shepard's innocent reply.

"Not if you're going to look like that."

"You're so cute prancing in the green fields," he teased only to be met with a not-so-gentle shove in reply.

"Quit it," she snarled. "What's up with the high and mighty of the Citadel Tower?"

Shepard's turned grim again. They started to walk nowhere in particular along the Presidium ring as the lights dimmed to the night cycle. Jack saw the C-Sec officer again, with his expression turning to a slight shock upon her walking alongside the famous Commander Shepard. Jack made sure to leap across the railing and back onto the grass as Shepard and her continued on.

"Just making things worse as usual," he started. "The Council demanded I turn over the Normandy so they could take it apart piece by piece to research whatever tech Cerberus put into it."

Jack had to scoff. She'd like to see them try to get their hands on the Normandy. She'd heard stories of the flight of its predecessor after a lockdown.

"The argument turned ugly," Shepard continued. "I might have implied the tech was already in Alliance hands given Cerberus just happened to have the schematics of a military vessel at their disposal. As Udina would say, the result was a political shitstorm."

"Fuck 'im. Bastards need to answer for their role in Cerberus."

"I don't need them tearing into the Alliance over Cerberus, Jack. They need to focus on the Reapers."

"Whatever, boss man. Storm the castle, take the Illusive Man's toys."

Shepard stopped and turned to face Jack. "Look, I don't need to keep going over my problems with the Council. You know how it goes. Let's just head to the Emporium."

The look on her face seemed to give Shepard pause. "Unless... you'd rather just head back to the Normandy," he said playfully as he pressed up a little closer to Jack. She started to consider her options for a moment, but whatever images started to cross her mind suddenly were overtaken by the prospect of a new shotgun. Her last one met an unfortunate end in the most unfortunate location of a Blue Sun merc a couple days back.

"Emporium gear is just marked up glossy toys," she responded, taking a step back from Shepard. "Zaeed mentioned a place in the wards--"

Her change in stance was only met with mild disappointment from Shepard. "Black market doesn't always trump namebrand, Jack. You're not going to find better biotic amps than an Armali. I know a guy--"

"What? In your favorite store in the Citadel?" It was her turn to tease.

"Seriously, Jack." They started walking slowly in the direction of the Emporium.

"That place is right next to the Conduit," Jack mentioned. "I hate that thing. Makes me feel like it's trying to pull my teeth out from my skull."

"Sounds familiar," Shepard muttered.

Now it was Jack's turn to stop suddenly. "No wait, I've got an even better idea!" Her sudden enthusiasm would have worried anyone other than Shepard. Jack's enthusiastic ideas usually involved vandalism or violence.

"Lay it on me," he countered as he crossed his arms and waited for the latest game.

"How deep do you think this lake goes, Shepard?" as Jack slowly walked backwards toward her subject of her question, slowly starting to unbuckle her vest.

"Uh, Jack, I'm not sure that's a--"

"Come on, who's going to argue with the great Commander Shepard?" she winked as she reached the edge of the water.

[Mondo47]

Pacifien wrote...

Right, so here's for something different that does not involve me writing about Jack's tragic childhood.

*snip*

Now that's good, Paci. Really good. Your Jack's a little more playful than mine (then again, I've not written that kind of scene for her yet - I'll certainly bear this piece in mind when I do)... she's not swept up in Shepard quite as much, but hey, I like mush so my Jack has no choice in the matter  You've got tone dead-on there. Muchos applausios and thanks for sharing

[Jackal904]

Pacifien wrote...

"What? In your favorite store in the Citadel?"

Haha that line gave me a good laugh . The whole thing was very nice, great job .

[Jackal904]

yorkj86 wrote...

A common theme among writers of Jack fanfic is that she's keen on removing articles of clothing.

Well she doesn't wear much in the first place. So it's somewhat safe to assume she doesn't care about being almost naked, because well, she already is.

[Pacifien]

Mondo47 wrote...
Now that's good, Paci. Really good. Your Jack's a little more playful than mine (then again, I've not written that kind of scene for her yet - I'll certainly bear this piece in mind when I do)... she's not swept up in Shepard quite as much, but hey, I like mush so my Jack has no choice in the matter  You've got tone dead-on there. Muchos applausios and thanks for sharing

Wow. That's actually extremely high praise coming from you, Mondo, since I've always felt you captured Jack's and Shepard's voice rather well. And add Kasumi to that as well. I love Kasumi's way of looking at the bright side of things. :happy:

I was actually thinking about what to write as I was making lunch, because the idea of Jack and Shepard on the Presidium has been bouncing around my head for awhile. It was annoying that I had extremely great ideas while I was cooking but then couldn't remember what any of those were once I sat down to write. Plus the enchiladas went cold while I wrote it. Small price to pay.

And to respond to York, I can't help it. I'll look for any excuse to get Jack out of her belt bra.

[Urdaniel]

Still alive, still kicking...barely.  Just got caught up on the thread after a harrowing weekend - family medical emergency (not me), ambulances, ER, the whole bit (and all the expense that implies).  It's kinda sapped my will to do anything but stare at a wall lately.  Thread's good for a little pick-me-up, though.  Thank heaven for small favors.

Sorry it's taking so long.  Apart from the aforementioned crisis, I scrapped the latter 2/3ds of the version I'd already written since it was digressing too much from the Jack/Shep duo with no real point to the digression.  I refashioned it into something I hope is a little more in-character for Jack as well as being more intimate in overall feel, which I find I prefer.  Like Mondo, I love mush (and unlike revenge, it's a dish best served warm and occasionally hot).  Unfortunately, as a re-write, it's currently just an outline and a bunch of disconnected dialogue.  I know where it ends (as I know how Day 6, 7, and 8 - the epilogue -  run and end, but all that's just outlines and snippets of dialogue too), but it still needs to be made whole, as it were.

Anyway, I'm just glad to see that folks are still discussing and posting at the same level of quality I've seen from the thread so far.  Looks like there's even a bit of new blood dropping by and saying hello - all the better.  To everyone who's posted their short fics and artwork, love what everyone's done and hope they keep on doing it.    Makes the day a little bit brighter.  Please don't take that to mean that there's pressure, implied or otherwise, to keep it up or that this thread is somehow responsible for my mental and emotional well-being.  Heaven forfend.  That's up to me.  Just saying that we can all use a breather and some amusement now and again and that I'm glad to know where to find it.

So, before I throw even more of a wet blanket on proceedings than I already have: Carry on!

[Jackal904]

Urdaniel wrote...

Still alive, still kicking...barely.  Just got caught up on the thread after a harrowing weekend - family medical emergency (not me), ambulances, ER, the whole bit (and all the expense that implies).  It's kinda sapped my will to do anything but stare at a wall lately.  Thread's good for a little pick-me-up, though.  Thank heaven for small favors.

Sorry it's taking so long.  Apart from the aforementioned crisis, I scrapped the latter 2/3ds of the version I'd already written since it was digressing too much from the Jack/Shep duo with no real point to the digression.  I refashioned it into something I hope is a little more in-character for Jack as well as being more intimate in overall feel, which I find I prefer.  Like Mondo, I love mush (and unlike revenge, it's a dish best served warm and occasionally hot).  Unfortunately, as a re-write, it's currently just an outline and a bunch of disconnected dialogue.  I know where it ends (as I know how Day 6, 7, and 8 - the epilogue -  run and end, but all that's just outlines and snippets of dialogue too), but it still needs to be made whole, as it were.

Anyway, I'm just glad to see that folks are still discussing and posting at the same level of quality I've seen from the thread so far.  Looks like there's even a bit of new blood dropping by and saying hello - all the better.  To everyone who's posted their short fics and artwork, love what everyone's done and hope they keep on doing it.    Makes the day a little bit brighter.  Please don't take that to mean that there's pressure, implied or otherwise, to keep it up or that this thread is somehow responsible for my mental and emotional well-being.  Heaven forfend.  That's up to me.  Just saying that we can all use a breather and some amusement now and again and that I'm glad to know where to find it.

So, before I throw even more of a wet blanket on proceedings than I already have: Carry on!

You're alive!  I'm glad to see you're still working on your fic. Sorry to hear about your real life issues. Don't feel sorry for not having released anything in while. We all understand that real life issues come first, and we can wait for as long as it takes. But it's just nice to see you stop by again.

[Mondo47]

yorkj86 wrote...

Hm. Jack accompanying Shepard to the Normandy crash-site? Too much sentimental stuff?  Not enough to work with?

Working on something now to go in my canon-Shep stories, but not the Normandy, oh no...

Should be ready a little later.

[MHRazer]

Jackal904 wrote...

You're alive!  I'm glad to see you're still working on your fic. Sorry to hear about your real life issues. Don't feel sorry for not having released anything in while. We all understand that real life issues come first, and we can wait for as long as it takes. But it's just nice to see you stop by again.

Alright, you basically just wrote word-for-word what I was going to reply with. No joke, almost the exact same post.

This is why I don't post as much as I should (but read everything) - you all say it for me 

Modifié par MHRazer, 12 juillet 2010 - 09:37 .