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Into the Bad Girl: Jack Fans


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#10601
NICKjnp

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Mondo47 wrote...

Any more ideas? I think I have some more creative juice I can squeeze out tonight...


Since you are focusing on California... how about Shepard, Jack and Grunt go backpacking.

#10602
Mondo47

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Ok, this is more about Shepard, but -

Akuze. 06:33 hours, local time...


Shepard stands awkwardly in the shadow of a huge stone monument; a block of black stone at least fourteen feet high, sandstone steps leading up to it on all sides, corners sweeping down the ground like long curving scythes, the surface polished to an almost mirror sheen. On the top of it sits a golden reproduction of a turret of some kind with a pair of cannons jutting from it. One side of the turret has a massive gouge ripped through it, like some enormous saw tried to carve it in half. Jack stands a step behind him.

Jack: We’ve got a while before anyone comes by, it’s still early.

Shep: (softly) I've never been back here before now.

Jack: Never? Not even when they put that up?

Shepard shakes his head.

Shep: Never wanted to see this rock again.

Jack: Hey, might be your last chance. I keep hearin' that someone's coming to wipe us all out.

Shep: (bitterly) Well they can start here if they like...

Shepard takes an uneasy step towards the monument. The morning sun is rising somewhere behind it, throwing brilliant reflections off the gold turret. He shields his eyes from them as he looks up.

Jack: What’s that up top?

Shep: That's a Bull turret.

Jack: Bull?

Shep: M31 Bull. Old Alliance drop vehicle, variant on the Grizzly chassis. Lots of armour, slow as all hell though. We used them back before the Mako was standard. Didn't stop the threshers though...

Jack: You want to tell me about it?

Shep: Nothing to tell. It's all in the vids now.

Jack: I've seen those. They don't tell me anything about why they built this, why you have the bad dreams. You can, though.

Shep:
(a little frustrated) Christ, Jack, what do you want? You've seen a thresher before, back on Tuchanka...

Jack: Yeah. We killed it. But I saw how you froze up when those things came waving out of the ground, too. Nothing does that to you, Shepard. Nothing I've ever seen before, and we've been in worse places than Tuchanka. So, make me understand. You always want to know about my f*cking feelings, well what about yours, huh?

Shepard sighs and sits on one of the stone steps in front of the monument. He runs a hand over his head, his eyes look haunted.

Shep: (pained) Why, Jack?

Jack: (slowly raising in volume and temper) Because I want to help you. All you do is help me and you won't ever let me in that head of yours. All my sh*t, all the things people did to me, and you make me talk about it. You think I don't feel it too? You think I want to remember a f*cking ounce of that sh*t? I look in the mirror and I feel toxic. Before, I'd just walk it off, forget it, let it make me colder. You've just made it like every time we f*ck you should shower in antibac because of what I've seen, what I've done -

Shep: I never wanted -

Jack: (angrily) No! I'm talking now! You just get to listen! You've broken something inside me, Shepard. And I'm f*cking glad you did. It needed to be broken. Now let me break you... 'cause it's the only way I can help start to fix you, because one of these days I’m just gonna shoot you when you have one of your bugout nights. If we’ve only got a little time left, left me f*cking try… please? Please, tell me.

Shepard becomes silent for a minute. He rubs at his eyes, shifts uneasily on the stone, sighs.

Shep: There'd been a first-stage colony here for a few months back in '77. Early pioneer group; couple of freighters, prefabs, orbital prospecting equipment for finding local resources, a few weapons and a handful of military-trained defenders in case pirates or slavers cruised by. Nothing that could deal with a serious threat. They'd sent back regular reports to Alliance command, then they suddenly went silent. No contact, not even an automated distress beacon...

Shepard stands up and looks at the monument.

Shep: They sent out a pair of frigates to sweep the system. No signs of ships passing through, nothing. Orbital recon showed the colony was a total loss. It looked like someone had tac-nuked the site. So, they dropped two Grizzlies and two Bulls with a full compliment to recon the colony remains and look for either survivors or signs of who was responsible. I was in command of one of the vehicles.

Shepard walks up the steps towards one of the sides of the monument. As he approaches it, bluish holographs begin to scroll over the sides, displaying portraits of people and their names; some are civilians, others are soldiers in uniform.


Shep: We weren't completely inexperienced, but we were still kids... wet behind the ears. We'd been in a few skirmishes with batarians, one run-in with some krogan mercs that had scared the sh*t out of most of us. We'd never seen civilian loss like this though. The place was a warzone; prefabs overturned, holes torn in them, stuff corroded to hell. Very few bodies... and what we found you couldn't recognise as human. We knew batarians liked hitting people with acid grenades for the shock value, so we treated it like it was payback time. We went over everything, picked through what we could recover from the damaged computer core, and found that they'd followed a ping from one of the orbital survey probes to a rich mineral deposit just hours before they lost contact. It was less than a click from their main site... they couldn't figure out how they'd missed it...

Shepard pauses, his hand reaching out towards the face of one of his comrades, his face a pained smile as he remembers something.

Shep: Langley said it was typical of ****** colonists to miss something like that, but Parkhurst, paranoid that he was, said it was maybe a decoy... never knew how right he was. Akuze has some wild storms; big atmospheric discharges. One rolled in just as we prepared to move on the probe site. Sky went black, every few seconds it would light up like someone set off a photon-flare and there was a boom that'd put an orbital bombardment to shame. And the wind, just screaming over us. We got to the site, and Langley took Takahashi and Burbank out into the storm to check the mining rig because we couldn't see it. Should have been able to... damn thing was thirty feet tall with a beacon on the top. There was just this little depression in the ground where it should have been...

Shepard turns away from the faces, his expression almost one of shame.


Shep: First we knew was this thumping under the ground. Steady, slow, almost like a drum. We felt it more in the Bulls than they must have in the Grizzlies, heavier armour, we weren't rocking in the wind so much. Next thing I hear is weapons fire, just for a second. Langley's comm unit just screeched and went dead. Then one of the Grizzlies opened up with its accelerator cannon. I stuck my head out of the hatch because the Bulls had no rear visuals, and then I'm falling. One of them came up right under us and I was thrown clear.

Shepard takes a step down away from the monument and he falters, almost losing his footing. Jack takes a step towards Shepard as he sits down heavily on the stairs, one hand on his face.

Shep:
(voice faltering) We’d never seen a thresher before. No-one had. It was dark; only light came from weapons fire and the lightning. They just didn’t seem real… these giant things arching up out of the ground, like the dark just came to life. You couldn’t hear anything over the storm, just feel the ground shaking… it was like seeing frames of a vid that made no sense. One of the Grizzlies flying end over end. Burbank got hit by acid - he just fell apart in front of me like he was wax in a fire. Everyone scrambling about trying to draw a bead on the targets… we must have poured ammo into those things, they were so big you couldn’t miss them. We may as well have been shooting shadows… Britowski hit one of them a lucky shot with the acc-cannon, must’ve hit something vital because it just fell dead right on top of the Grizzly turret. Crushed it like a can.

Shepard stifles a sob and claws his way to his feet. He runs the back of his hands over his eyes, screws them shut, blinks hard. He takes an unsteady step towards the front of the monument and another holograph shimmers into life on its forward-face below the turret’s two guns. Shepard finds himself staring at his own likeness in blue light.

Shep: (voice breaking) I… I managed to get back into my vehicle. Wind was coming through the forward section, one of the threshers had hammered a claw right through, taken out Weaver and Tracey. I got in the turret and just started firing. I saw movement, I turned and fired on it. I just fired and fired and fired until the guns overheated… then something hit the Bull, rolled it… I remember hanging upside down in the turret, just waiting for the turret to crumple. Something pounded on the hull again and I hit my head on something. Not sure how long I was out… maybe a day, maybe more… but I remember hearing a shuttle coming down. Storm was over… all I could see was this clear blue sky. Perfect day. I pulled myself out and saw what was left… think I passed out again… just pieces of… Jack, we were barely eight months out of boot… we. We weren’t ready. Not for that. We…

Shepard swats at his electronic reflection and stumbles away from the monument. Jack steps towards Shepard to try and grab him, he tries to push her away but she holds on tight and throws her weight in the opposite direction. Shepard loses his footing entirely and slips to his knees, his head against Jack’s stomach, his arms clinging to her hips like a drowning sailor holding on to anything to save himself. Shepard weeps, utterly bereft.

Shep: (between sobs) Why us? Why me? Why did… I have make it? Not them?

Jack strokes Shepard’s head, blinking back tears of her own.

Jack:
Because you’re strong. You didn’t stop fighting. You moved on. Harder and tougher, remember? But you gotta let this sh*t go, or it'll keep eating you alive. You said that to me. Your turn now. I’m here. I’ll help. As f*cked up as I am, I'll help. Just let me.

Shep: (quietly) Why?

Jack: I think everyone asks themselves that, sometimes… I really do.

#10603
MHRazer

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Nice job Mondo, you've really got a way for writing these things. Seems like it comes easy to you, and you always make them entertaining to read. It's almost weird to envision Shepard being so emotional and real in your fics, seeing as he is an emotionless block in-game.

#10604
NICKjnp

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Nice job... especially since the Shepard I have that romanced Jack is both a spacer and a sole survivor.

#10605
Mondo47

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It's one thing I cannot stand in games, movies, books, whatever - heroes with all the self-expression of a stone. You can barely get away with it when it's mocked as a trope or in something as throwaway as an FPS (a'la the Half-Life games), but in an RPG a hero needs to be as much a character we can observe and relate to as one we can project onto. Sure, it's a fine line to walk, but if it's done right, you get a character you are drawn into all the more because they feel like real people; you can relate to their angers and sadnesses, their joys and their fears. Games really are the most guilty medium for this, but it's by no means the only place where you can find a hero so transparent they seem to only have two modes; Hero and Angry Hero. A real hero has doubts, concerns, vices, pet hates, bad habits and the same potential to lose their way as anyone else. It was that way in the epics thousands of years ago, it should still be now if we want to come close to their pedigree.

A hero can cry. And no Shep of mine is gonna be cardboard, no sir ^_^

#10606
NICKjnp

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Hey... that's a good name. I think I'm going to name my next femshep Cardboard. My next manshep is going to be called Simonsays.

#10607
Guest_JohnnyDollar_*

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Another nice one Mondo.  I was hoping while reading it early on, that Shepard would get emotional (break down a little) before it was over, and he did. 

  

Modifié par JohnnyDollar, 13 juillet 2010 - 01:11 .


#10608
Gethforceone

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I don't shepard as a cardboard cut-out s/he as just emotion for me.

#10609
Mondo47

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Glad you guys enjoyed. That one was a lot of fun to write. I think after all this genuine emotion, I think I'll have to ground myself tomorrow by penning my rather demented fantasy for a hot, steamy, Shepard and Tali girl-on-girl extravaganza ;)

#10610
Guest_yorkj86_*

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Mondo47 wrote...
A hero can cry. And no Shep of mine is gonna be cardboard, no sir ^_^


Lebowski:  "Are you surprised at my tears, sir?"
The Dude:  "****in' A."
Lebowski:  "Strong men also cry...strong men also cry."

EDIT: Thanks for having this Shepard defy the "emotionless bald spess mahreen" trope, Mondo.  I felt my stomach sink (in a good way) when Jack went to hold Shepard.

Modifié par yorkj86, 13 juillet 2010 - 01:31 .


#10611
Jackal904

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Wow that was awesome Mondo. It's so nice to have Shepard express some emotion. And I really liked the dialogue, especially with Jack trying to play therapist for once and with Shepard being the one pushing away. It was very interesting to see the roles reversed like that. Great job! Image IPB

I like this creative spark you're having today. Did you just happen to be in the mood for writing today?

#10612
Mondo47

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I've had a bit of a creative dry spell, and a few things going on in my life while not exactly positive seem to be bringing my mojo back. Not a moment too soon, too :D

#10613
Guest_yorkj86_*

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Are you putting all of these up on your blog, Mondo?

#10614
Mondo47

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Yep. And at this moment in time, my Tali story tomorrow is not an idle threat... let's see how many people from that side of the fence dig it... (and how naughty I can make it without crossing lines) ;)

#10615
Guest_JohnnyDollar_*

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Well, how long do we in the Jack thread have the fortune of this mojo that you have, before that little time of the month gets here Mondo?:D

Just kiddin.

Edit:  Maybe I shouldn't have asked that, even in jest.  Especially since you have a few things going on in you're life that aren't exactly positive.  I apologize if I hurt you're feelings Mondo.

Modifié par JohnnyDollar, 13 juillet 2010 - 02:30 .


#10616
Guest_yorkj86_*

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Your quickfic, above, made me think about how scared Shepard must have been for Jack's life, in a hypothetical scenario where Jack and Shepard have already expressed interest in each other before the Tuchanka mission. Now, as a Commander, he has to be impartial, and put aside all personal feelings to ensure the safety of the people under his command, but it makes me wonder, if he panicked for just a moment after snapping out of freezing-up at seeing the Thresher Maw.

#10617
Jackal904

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JohnnyDollar wrote...

Edit:  Maybe I shouldn't have asked that, even in jest.  Especially since you have a few things going on in you're life that aren't exactly positive.  I apologize if I hurt you're feelings Mondo.


If there's one thing I know about Mondo, she can take a joke.

#10618
axl99

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Alright, since Mondo took the time to grace us with not just one, but TWO little Jack fics, here's one I scribbled on my own.

Feel free to look away. It's bad.

---

"Downtime aboard the Normandy."

A topless Jack lay face down on the bed in the captain's quarters, grinning ear to ear while Shepard's hands wandered purposely down her back. The room was filled with her breathy sighs as she was slowly rocked into the mattress, hissing sharply when he found a particularly sensitive spot and ground his fingers against it.

Jack hears the concerned tone in his voice, turning so their eyes met she pleads him to go deeper. He indulges her, smiling to himself as he felt her turn into putty in his hands.

Deciding to take things a little further, she makes another demand of him. An arched eyebrow and a firm nod later he grips her arms behind her and slowly pulls her towards him. With one last hissed intake of breath, Jack felt herself jerk backwards and with a resounding-

*CRACK!

She sank back onto the bed, nothing more than a happy pile of melted flesh.

"So was that good for you?", he smirked as he sat beside her to stroke the fuzz on her head.

"Best. Backrub. Ever," came Jack's muffled reply.

---

The end.

Modifié par axl99, 13 juillet 2010 - 05:11 .


#10619
Guest_JohnnyDollar_*

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That's not bad at all axl.

At first I didn't know what was going on with the "CRACK".  I  was like....man, did he just break her arm or something?  Then I realized....ah, ok, he popped her back for her.  She got herself a good back rubbin.^_^

Modifié par JohnnyDollar, 13 juillet 2010 - 04:55 .


#10620
Guest_yorkj86_*

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That's a good one, axl. You chose your words perfectly so that we had no idea what was actually going on until the "*CRACK!*". Also, it's very sweet :3

#10621
Collider

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Romance interest poll

I'm kind of surprised at the results right now.

#10622
Gethforceone

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Collider wrote...

Romance interest poll
I'm kind of surprised at the results right now.


As am I.Image IPB

#10623
drunken pyromaniac

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Kind of nice to see Jack do so well in a poll.

#10624
Privateerkev

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drunken pyromaniac wrote...

Kind of nice to see Jack do so well in a poll.


There has been a good discussion on the Talithread about it. Talifans like Jack. A lot of the same traits. Same anti-Cerberus attitude. That and we love an underdog. :happy:

#10625
drunken pyromaniac

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I've been following that, actually. It's interesting to see some different viewpoints on Jack and Miranda.