All this talk about what kind of pet she'd like...
I'd say a dog. Rottweiler/Akita breed. If we're talking modern.
Otherwise, I'm calling varren. One she could use to beat the hell out of the other varren, in Tuchanka.
Rabid Varren from ME 1, maybe? >_>
Into the Bad Girl: Jack Fans
Débuté par
Average Gatsby
, févr. 05 2010 03:24
Retour en haut
#12777
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:02
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Guest_Sundown Native_*
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Ok, I'm wishing the fourms could make use of a delete button. My connection is happily failing me, right now.
Modifié par Sundown Native, 06 août 2010 - 12:07 .
#12778
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:06
drunken pyromaniac
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Everyone loves kittens and puppies. Everyone.Jackal904 wrote...
Maybe she's tsundere for kittens and puppies.
Btw I like you're avatar. Borderlands is awesome.
And thank you!
#12779
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:12
jlb524
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#12780
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:13
NICKjnp
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My dog will always be "Puppy"... even though he is 14.
#12781
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:13
Jack Package
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Modifié par Jack Package, 06 août 2010 - 12:15 .
#12784
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Posté 06 août 2010 - 01:06
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Guest_Sundown Native_*
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Well, I just got another idea for a fic.
This one's gonna be four chapters, like "Eyes And History". I'm calling it "The Son Of Mindoir". Exploring the possibilities of what would happen if James took his beloved, ink-clad biotic to his origins, since he's already been to hers.
I've got an idea of how it could begin, but I can't say what it is. Once it's done ((And actually proofread, because I hate seeing a typo I thought I corrected)) I'll submit it.
Just letting you guys know.
And for the record, I have no clue why Jack is 2nd place, in that poll, right now.
This one's gonna be four chapters, like "Eyes And History". I'm calling it "The Son Of Mindoir". Exploring the possibilities of what would happen if James took his beloved, ink-clad biotic to his origins, since he's already been to hers.
I've got an idea of how it could begin, but I can't say what it is. Once it's done ((And actually proofread, because I hate seeing a typo I thought I corrected)) I'll submit it.
Just letting you guys know.
And for the record, I have no clue why Jack is 2nd place, in that poll, right now.
#12785
Posté 06 août 2010 - 02:08
Collider
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#12786
Posté 06 août 2010 - 02:27
Urdaniel
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First off, thanks for all the kind words. As a more tangible expression of my appreciation, I give you Day 5 of
Things Worth Keeping
Now, don't get TOO excited. First off, the updating process is still ongoing, so the changes to chapter 5 haven't shown up properly (and I may have to do some gerrymandering to get the update date to update properly [confused yet?]).
Second, it's part 1 of 2. I explain in more detail in the author's notes, but the short version: chapter is pretty long, folks have been patiently waiting, thought I'd express my thanks by splitting it into two so there's something to read. I think the initial part can stand on its own, and the break point isn't a cliffhanger, so I hope no one will complain too much about waiting for part 2. 'Nuff said.
Third, @Jackal: You may or may not remember that I hinted that Days 5 and 6 were going to be something of a change from those that preceded them. One way that manifested itself was the length of Day 5 (unintended). The other is that there's going to be more interaction with people outside their little apartment-world on those days (despite the visit to Pinnacle on D2, most of the interaction there took place off-stage). It'll be most obvious on D5-2 and D6 (both of which, as I've said before, I hope land on their feet).
Finally, just to set myself up to get hoisted on my own petard, I already have the rough beginnings for something that takes place post-ME3. No more details than that; I'm afraid I'm going to be in enough trouble already as it is. TWK will be finished before that ever sees the light of day though; it's only fair to the audience. And it may never see the light of day if I get skittish enough about it.
Couple more things:
a) I'd like to say Jack is a cat person, but I think they're too similar to get along for extended periods.
@Goat_Shepard: Do you have the full screenie where the avatar you were using just prior to your current one was taken from? (I'm hoping that question made sense) Seeing as how you posted the full pic where you got your most recent one, I thought I might beg you to post the other as well. Thanks either way.
Things Worth Keeping
Now, don't get TOO excited. First off, the updating process is still ongoing, so the changes to chapter 5 haven't shown up properly (and I may have to do some gerrymandering to get the update date to update properly [confused yet?]).
Second, it's part 1 of 2. I explain in more detail in the author's notes, but the short version: chapter is pretty long, folks have been patiently waiting, thought I'd express my thanks by splitting it into two so there's something to read. I think the initial part can stand on its own, and the break point isn't a cliffhanger, so I hope no one will complain too much about waiting for part 2. 'Nuff said.
Third, @Jackal: You may or may not remember that I hinted that Days 5 and 6 were going to be something of a change from those that preceded them. One way that manifested itself was the length of Day 5 (unintended). The other is that there's going to be more interaction with people outside their little apartment-world on those days (despite the visit to Pinnacle on D2, most of the interaction there took place off-stage). It'll be most obvious on D5-2 and D6 (both of which, as I've said before, I hope land on their feet).
Finally, just to set myself up to get hoisted on my own petard, I already have the rough beginnings for something that takes place post-ME3. No more details than that; I'm afraid I'm going to be in enough trouble already as it is. TWK will be finished before that ever sees the light of day though; it's only fair to the audience. And it may never see the light of day if I get skittish enough about it.
Couple more things:
a) I'd like to say Jack is a cat person, but I think they're too similar to get along for extended periods.
@Goat_Shepard: Do you have the full screenie where the avatar you were using just prior to your current one was taken from? (I'm hoping that question made sense) Seeing as how you posted the full pic where you got your most recent one, I thought I might beg you to post the other as well. Thanks either way.
#12787
Posté 06 août 2010 - 03:03
Jackal904
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Urdaniel wrote...
Third, @Jackal: You may or may not remember that I hinted that Days 5 and 6 were going to be something of a change from those that preceded them.
Yep I remember, and I'm excited about that. It's nice to change things up a bit.
I already have the rough beginnings for something that takes place post-ME3.
Damn, now that's ambition. Just hope the events of ME3 don't completely eliminate the possibility of your post-ME3 ideas.
#12788
Posté 06 août 2010 - 03:27
MHRazer
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*squee*Urdaniel wrote...
First off, thanks for all the kind words. As a more tangible expression of my appreciation, I give you Day 5 of
Things Worth Keeping
Now, don't get TOO excited. First off, the updating process is still ongoing, so the changes to chapter 5 haven't shown up properly (and I may have to do some gerrymandering to get the update date to update properly [confused yet?]).
But should we wait to read for a bit until your changes are made? If I've waited almost 3 months for this installment I'd hate to miss out on the finished version to hurry it up a day or two.
#12789
Guest_yorkj86_*
Posté 06 août 2010 - 03:32
Guest_yorkj86_*
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"Every so often, she would move her head slightly, rubbing her cheek against his stubble, almost as if to reassure herself that he was still there, that he was still real."
Dawwww. You do a superb job of describing them just laying together, in bed.
The only thing I can say is that Jack seems to be a little needy, but I can't tell if that's just her being appreciative of what she has, and not wanting to lose it. That's probably the case, since she states herself that she wants all the time with Shepard that she can get.
Dawwww. You do a superb job of describing them just laying together, in bed.
The only thing I can say is that Jack seems to be a little needy, but I can't tell if that's just her being appreciative of what she has, and not wanting to lose it. That's probably the case, since she states herself that she wants all the time with Shepard that she can get.
Modifié par yorkj86, 06 août 2010 - 03:33 .
#12790
Posté 06 août 2010 - 04:55
Urdaniel
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Again, thanks to everyone for still being interested, as well as thanks to folks like Sundown who came on board the thread while I was in the doldrums and found the time to read my efforts.
@Razer: I personally think you can read Part 1 (as I've said before) given that - even in isolation - it's pretty much the equivalent of any of my previous installments in length and content. The only difference is that there are references to events that have not yet happened (the shindig). If it weren't for my insistence that all of this happens on Day 5 (I have some very definite ideas about what happens on Days 6 and 7 and during the Day 8 epilogue, as well as being adamant that the story only takes place over 8 days), I might have seen fit to release them as two separate days.
Also, the reason I mentioned the updating process is that it can take Fanfiction.net up to 30 min. to propagate changes to posted stories; at the time I announced on this thread, the propagation had not yet occurred.
@Jackal: If ME3 invalidates the concept (heck, the Shadow Broker DLC might do that too - a hint!), then the story becomes an alternate-universe one where things shake out to let me have my fun.
@york: Jack doesn't just seem needy. I'll be honest - as I've written her, she IS needy. In my opinion (and I could be dead wrong, in which case I fully expect all of the Jackolytes to call me on it), this fits in with her known character/is tempered by the following:
First - She only exhibits this in private, and then only with Shepard. I think we can all agree that she'd die before letting anyone other than him see this side of her.
Second - What you said. She has come or is slowly coming around to, the realization that Shepard is for real. And that she wants to avoid the situation that happened with Murtock. And that all of them - her, Shepard, even the cheerleader and TIM, may all be living on borrowed time. There are also certain developments come Day 6 & 7 that play into this (more hints!). Jack has always lived in the moment, albeit for different reasons before Shepard. When something (or someone) this big and important shows up and proves to not be just another lie, I would fully expect her to want to live for every moment she could beg, borrow, steal, or kill for.
Third - As the passage you quoted implies, she's still not completely convinced that she could be this lucky. She's never really gotten lucky before. Everything she's gotten she's taken by force. And here's Shepard who takes the first step, makes the first move, offers first instead of just taking or asking. Her neediness is just one more facet of her trying to get the situation she's in with Shep to register in both heart and mind. I see it along the lines of constantly pinching herself to make sure she's awake. Sometimes it's her being needy. Sometimes it's her marking her territory (which has happened and may yet happen again within the narrative). Sometimes it might even be pushing Shepard away again as hard as she can to see if he comes back (Mondo mentioned something along these lines a few pages back). This last is something I have not yet done (and may never do since I'm not confident about my ability to portray it). In many ways she's constantly testing their relationship, hopefully not to the breaking point (I myself prefer happy endings with rainbows and unicorns).
I don't know if I'm necessarily making sense, lol. Or even presenting my thinking in an intelligible (let alone convincing) fashion. Just that there's all these reasons floating around in my head and I'm not sure that I'm able to get them across. Heck, I'm surprised I even manage to write this stuff at a level that people can stand to read.
Anyway, it's late, so I'll claim that as an excuse for rambling on like this.
@Razer: I personally think you can read Part 1 (as I've said before) given that - even in isolation - it's pretty much the equivalent of any of my previous installments in length and content. The only difference is that there are references to events that have not yet happened (the shindig). If it weren't for my insistence that all of this happens on Day 5 (I have some very definite ideas about what happens on Days 6 and 7 and during the Day 8 epilogue, as well as being adamant that the story only takes place over 8 days), I might have seen fit to release them as two separate days.
Also, the reason I mentioned the updating process is that it can take Fanfiction.net up to 30 min. to propagate changes to posted stories; at the time I announced on this thread, the propagation had not yet occurred.
@Jackal: If ME3 invalidates the concept (heck, the Shadow Broker DLC might do that too - a hint!), then the story becomes an alternate-universe one where things shake out to let me have my fun.
@york: Jack doesn't just seem needy. I'll be honest - as I've written her, she IS needy. In my opinion (and I could be dead wrong, in which case I fully expect all of the Jackolytes to call me on it), this fits in with her known character/is tempered by the following:
First - She only exhibits this in private, and then only with Shepard. I think we can all agree that she'd die before letting anyone other than him see this side of her.
Second - What you said. She has come or is slowly coming around to, the realization that Shepard is for real. And that she wants to avoid the situation that happened with Murtock. And that all of them - her, Shepard, even the cheerleader and TIM, may all be living on borrowed time. There are also certain developments come Day 6 & 7 that play into this (more hints!). Jack has always lived in the moment, albeit for different reasons before Shepard. When something (or someone) this big and important shows up and proves to not be just another lie, I would fully expect her to want to live for every moment she could beg, borrow, steal, or kill for.
Third - As the passage you quoted implies, she's still not completely convinced that she could be this lucky. She's never really gotten lucky before. Everything she's gotten she's taken by force. And here's Shepard who takes the first step, makes the first move, offers first instead of just taking or asking. Her neediness is just one more facet of her trying to get the situation she's in with Shep to register in both heart and mind. I see it along the lines of constantly pinching herself to make sure she's awake. Sometimes it's her being needy. Sometimes it's her marking her territory (which has happened and may yet happen again within the narrative). Sometimes it might even be pushing Shepard away again as hard as she can to see if he comes back (Mondo mentioned something along these lines a few pages back). This last is something I have not yet done (and may never do since I'm not confident about my ability to portray it). In many ways she's constantly testing their relationship, hopefully not to the breaking point (I myself prefer happy endings with rainbows and unicorns).
I don't know if I'm necessarily making sense, lol. Or even presenting my thinking in an intelligible (let alone convincing) fashion. Just that there's all these reasons floating around in my head and I'm not sure that I'm able to get them across. Heck, I'm surprised I even manage to write this stuff at a level that people can stand to read.
Anyway, it's late, so I'll claim that as an excuse for rambling on like this.
#12791
Posté 06 août 2010 - 05:15
Goat_Shepard
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Urdaniel wrote...
Huh?
I think this is the last one I used, stolen from Johnny D.
Or this one
Or perhaps
#12792
Posté 06 août 2010 - 06:36
Urdaniel
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The bottommost one is the one I was thinking of, Goat. Thanks heaps. 
#12793
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Posté 06 août 2010 - 12:05
Guest_Sundown Native_*
Guest_Sundown Native_*
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Alright, here's the beginning of the "Son Of Mindoir" fic I had been talking about, earlier. Honestly, I could have wrote more, had I'd gone to sleep, but eh. It's probably as long as it's going to get, now.
Hope you enjoy.
--------------------
_ 11:56, A.M. _
----------------
--------
Morning time.
At least, that’s what the clock said.
The cabin looked at lot less damaged, as of now. The glass, broken apart and positioned near the fish tank, was absent. The holos were repaired. The halved SR-1 replica had been seamlessly pieced back together, and put back in it’s rightful place, along with the rest of the ship models that sat against the transparent glass. The lamppost, earlier fallen to the bulk, had been placed back onto the end table upon which it always sat. Chairs were repositioned, and the bed was made up, though only on one side.
Jack had still been sleeping.
Shepard’s N7 Helmet was placed were it had once been; the same as the prothean orb. The documents that spread at the door leading to the room were neatly organized, and sat next to his private terminal. And the desk where it all sat was where Shepard had been, back laid against the cushion of the chair provided. His eyes had been upon the terminal, as a message routed there had caught his utmost attention.
Dear Shepard,
A friend of yours in the Alliance told me how to get in touch with you. You may not remember me. I wasn’t there long enough for you to have memories of me, good or bad. But I used to attend the school you went to, on Mindoir. Before I moved, of course. What happened there was horrible, but at least someone survived.
You probably already know that today marks the 14th anniversary of the Mindoir raid. What you probably don’t know is that they are holding a three-day long celebration. A tribute to having survived, despite the atrocity commited, long ago. Me and the others were talking, and it would be a honor to have you as a guest, here.
If you can make the time, you know where to go. We’re beginning the celebration at a plaza not far from where you used to live. It’s also where they set up a likeness of you. It’s VERY large; you can’t miss it.
If we do not see you there, then know that, even without your presence, we will continue to survive. We will follow your example, and make this colony a better place.
Sincerely,
Lori Smith
Governor of Mindoir
Shepard was unsure of how to respond. The timing was bad. After what just happened, a few hours ago, James didn’t think he’d be able to take anymore. He probably wouldn’t have..But she had been there for him. She’d been there for him as he was for her. But as much as he’d like to think that comfort from Jack would help him, it wouldn’t. He knew it’d keep coming back. The dreams. The deaths. The scars from then to now. They’d all come back. Going to Mindoir would only make it worse.
But…It’s been 14 years since he last visited his home. Never got the chance, with joining the Alliance, surviving Akuze, fighting the Eden Prime war. All up to dealing with the Reapers. All that time and he had never gotten the chance to come home. He’d never gotten the chance to remember the good things, from before. He’d never gotten the chance to say goodbye.
Shepard closed his eyes, and had taken a deep breath. His left hand had come to slide across the strands of jet black hair, brushing it back as the palm reached his forehead.
“Mornin’.”
When he opened his eyes, he had seen his beloved, Jack, in a reflection of the hologram. How she managed to get that far without him noticing her was questionable; the only two people he’d known that could do that was Krios and Goto. Left hand removed, he’d slightly nod his head, before tilting it back, to get a good look at her. “Morning.” He replied.
“Reading somethin’?”
“…It’s from Mindoir.”
Jack’s eyes narrowed; her brows furrowed, as she attempted to get a good look at the message. “The hell do they want?” She said, though without an irritated or annoyed tone, despite what her question had implied. Shepard’s eyes had closed again; saying what he had just read appeared to be even harder. At least, at this moment. “…They want me to visit.”
“So why don’tcha?”
“You saw me, Jack. You saw the nightmare I was having -- I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
Jack had turned her gaze to James.
“Think I was ready to go to Pragia, Shepard?”
“Honestly? No. I didn’t.”
“But I did, anyway. ‘Cause I needed to knock that sh*t out of the way.”
“Jack, you went to Pragia to blow up the facility you were raised in. They’re asking me to spend three days in the colony my parents DIED in.”
“Ain’t like you’re gonna be alone. ‘Cause I wasn’t.” Jack had moved, getting herself settled onto Shepard’s lap. “Way I see it; it’d be like returning the favor. You helped me out with my past. Only fair I help you with yours.” Shepard had sighed. He wanted to believe that. That she could help him, in the same manner that he did. Nevertheless, he did not think she could. He did not think anyone could. The only person capable needed his help, too. Moreover, if she had gotten the message, chances are she would be responding to it in the same way that Shepard was, right now. Unsure of whether or not he should accept the invitation, or ignore it, altogether.
“Hey.” Jack’s voice cut through his pondering. “If you don’t do this, it’s gonna f*ck you up, ‘til you end up like Aresh. And I’m DAMN sure not carrying that **** with me. You stopped me from getting stuck like that; now it’s suddenly ok for YOU to do it? F*ck that.” Shepard had turned his gaze away from her, when she said that. And when he did, Jack’s hand would move to his jaw, gripping onto it, to turn his face back towards her. “Shepard…Just. F*cking. Go. Alright? I’ve never even done sh*t for you, before -- you can’t just not let me. Let me try.”
“Fine.” Shepard relented, to which Jack had released her grip. A small smile crept upon her face, but was quickly replaced with a scoff. “Took you long enough. Says the celebration’s today, right? Might as well get ready to leave.” Jack had hopped off Shepard’s lap, and moved to the showers. But before she could actually enter, Shepard had grabbed onto her wrist, and pulled her back onto his lap.
“No, we don’t. It won’t kill us if we’re late. Besides, I was going to head back to bed, anyway. Make sure you’re warm.”
At that, Jack quirked a brow.
“What’s with all this soft sh*t, Shepard?”
“Soft? Sleeping with you’s soft, now?” Shepard had said, chuckling a bit. “You didn’t sleep with me.” Jack snapped, in an annoyed tone, to which Shepard shrugged. “So what? Just being here with you is worth it.” Shepard had said, letting his fingers trail down the side of Jack’s neck. Shepard had his eyes on hers, for a while now. And Jack noticed this, thus unintentionally ridding herself of the good feeling that came with Shepard’s caressing.
“What?” Jack asked.
“You know those cheap compliments the women on the vids get, everyday?”
“Heard them, yeah. Why?”
“You’re about to get one. Anyone ever tell you ‘rock the hell out of those eyes you have’?”
“Really, Shepard?”
“Yes, really. They’re very –“
“F*cked up?”
“If by ‘f*cked up’, you mean the most captivating eyes in all of existence…”
“Screw you, Shepard.” Jack had said, between small laughs
“Oh, I’m just getting started, Jack.” Shepard had said, with a grin on his face. “Bet no one’s ever told you that. Or this.” Before he continued, Shepard’s lips had met hers, parting after every few seconds, and then continuing after every comment. “Every time I kiss you, I get an urge to do it again. And again. And again.
“Tch. You’re a f*cking junkie, fishin’ for a fix, huh?” Jack had said. And as she did, Shepard’s kisses began to trail down the opposite side of her neck. “Bet your ass I am.” Shepard said, as he done so. The kisses had moved from her neck to her collarbones.
“Slow down, Shepard; I’ll still be here, when you wake up.” Jack had said. But Shepard had not responded.
“Shepard.” Jack had called, in one last attempt to get his attention. When she called, however, Shepard’s lips met hers once more.
“Jack.” Shepard had responded, once parting from her. She had been at a loss for words. Whatever she was going to say, she had forgotten a very long time ago. After a long gaze into Shepard’s eyes, Jack had settled on to two words that would summarize this moment.
“F*ck you.”
And with that, Jack had pulled him into a kiss of her own.
It was a good way to start the morning.
Hope you enjoy.
--------------------
_ 11:56, A.M. _
----------------
--------
Morning time.
At least, that’s what the clock said.
The cabin looked at lot less damaged, as of now. The glass, broken apart and positioned near the fish tank, was absent. The holos were repaired. The halved SR-1 replica had been seamlessly pieced back together, and put back in it’s rightful place, along with the rest of the ship models that sat against the transparent glass. The lamppost, earlier fallen to the bulk, had been placed back onto the end table upon which it always sat. Chairs were repositioned, and the bed was made up, though only on one side.
Jack had still been sleeping.
Shepard’s N7 Helmet was placed were it had once been; the same as the prothean orb. The documents that spread at the door leading to the room were neatly organized, and sat next to his private terminal. And the desk where it all sat was where Shepard had been, back laid against the cushion of the chair provided. His eyes had been upon the terminal, as a message routed there had caught his utmost attention.
Dear Shepard,
A friend of yours in the Alliance told me how to get in touch with you. You may not remember me. I wasn’t there long enough for you to have memories of me, good or bad. But I used to attend the school you went to, on Mindoir. Before I moved, of course. What happened there was horrible, but at least someone survived.
You probably already know that today marks the 14th anniversary of the Mindoir raid. What you probably don’t know is that they are holding a three-day long celebration. A tribute to having survived, despite the atrocity commited, long ago. Me and the others were talking, and it would be a honor to have you as a guest, here.
If you can make the time, you know where to go. We’re beginning the celebration at a plaza not far from where you used to live. It’s also where they set up a likeness of you. It’s VERY large; you can’t miss it.
If we do not see you there, then know that, even without your presence, we will continue to survive. We will follow your example, and make this colony a better place.
Sincerely,
Lori Smith
Governor of Mindoir
Shepard was unsure of how to respond. The timing was bad. After what just happened, a few hours ago, James didn’t think he’d be able to take anymore. He probably wouldn’t have..But she had been there for him. She’d been there for him as he was for her. But as much as he’d like to think that comfort from Jack would help him, it wouldn’t. He knew it’d keep coming back. The dreams. The deaths. The scars from then to now. They’d all come back. Going to Mindoir would only make it worse.
But…It’s been 14 years since he last visited his home. Never got the chance, with joining the Alliance, surviving Akuze, fighting the Eden Prime war. All up to dealing with the Reapers. All that time and he had never gotten the chance to come home. He’d never gotten the chance to remember the good things, from before. He’d never gotten the chance to say goodbye.
Shepard closed his eyes, and had taken a deep breath. His left hand had come to slide across the strands of jet black hair, brushing it back as the palm reached his forehead.
“Mornin’.”
When he opened his eyes, he had seen his beloved, Jack, in a reflection of the hologram. How she managed to get that far without him noticing her was questionable; the only two people he’d known that could do that was Krios and Goto. Left hand removed, he’d slightly nod his head, before tilting it back, to get a good look at her. “Morning.” He replied.
“Reading somethin’?”
“…It’s from Mindoir.”
Jack’s eyes narrowed; her brows furrowed, as she attempted to get a good look at the message. “The hell do they want?” She said, though without an irritated or annoyed tone, despite what her question had implied. Shepard’s eyes had closed again; saying what he had just read appeared to be even harder. At least, at this moment. “…They want me to visit.”
“So why don’tcha?”
“You saw me, Jack. You saw the nightmare I was having -- I don’t think I’m ready for that.”
Jack had turned her gaze to James.
“Think I was ready to go to Pragia, Shepard?”
“Honestly? No. I didn’t.”
“But I did, anyway. ‘Cause I needed to knock that sh*t out of the way.”
“Jack, you went to Pragia to blow up the facility you were raised in. They’re asking me to spend three days in the colony my parents DIED in.”
“Ain’t like you’re gonna be alone. ‘Cause I wasn’t.” Jack had moved, getting herself settled onto Shepard’s lap. “Way I see it; it’d be like returning the favor. You helped me out with my past. Only fair I help you with yours.” Shepard had sighed. He wanted to believe that. That she could help him, in the same manner that he did. Nevertheless, he did not think she could. He did not think anyone could. The only person capable needed his help, too. Moreover, if she had gotten the message, chances are she would be responding to it in the same way that Shepard was, right now. Unsure of whether or not he should accept the invitation, or ignore it, altogether.
“Hey.” Jack’s voice cut through his pondering. “If you don’t do this, it’s gonna f*ck you up, ‘til you end up like Aresh. And I’m DAMN sure not carrying that **** with me. You stopped me from getting stuck like that; now it’s suddenly ok for YOU to do it? F*ck that.” Shepard had turned his gaze away from her, when she said that. And when he did, Jack’s hand would move to his jaw, gripping onto it, to turn his face back towards her. “Shepard…Just. F*cking. Go. Alright? I’ve never even done sh*t for you, before -- you can’t just not let me. Let me try.”
“Fine.” Shepard relented, to which Jack had released her grip. A small smile crept upon her face, but was quickly replaced with a scoff. “Took you long enough. Says the celebration’s today, right? Might as well get ready to leave.” Jack had hopped off Shepard’s lap, and moved to the showers. But before she could actually enter, Shepard had grabbed onto her wrist, and pulled her back onto his lap.
“No, we don’t. It won’t kill us if we’re late. Besides, I was going to head back to bed, anyway. Make sure you’re warm.”
At that, Jack quirked a brow.
“What’s with all this soft sh*t, Shepard?”
“Soft? Sleeping with you’s soft, now?” Shepard had said, chuckling a bit. “You didn’t sleep with me.” Jack snapped, in an annoyed tone, to which Shepard shrugged. “So what? Just being here with you is worth it.” Shepard had said, letting his fingers trail down the side of Jack’s neck. Shepard had his eyes on hers, for a while now. And Jack noticed this, thus unintentionally ridding herself of the good feeling that came with Shepard’s caressing.
“What?” Jack asked.
“You know those cheap compliments the women on the vids get, everyday?”
“Heard them, yeah. Why?”
“You’re about to get one. Anyone ever tell you ‘rock the hell out of those eyes you have’?”
“Really, Shepard?”
“Yes, really. They’re very –“
“F*cked up?”
“If by ‘f*cked up’, you mean the most captivating eyes in all of existence…”
“Screw you, Shepard.” Jack had said, between small laughs
“Oh, I’m just getting started, Jack.” Shepard had said, with a grin on his face. “Bet no one’s ever told you that. Or this.” Before he continued, Shepard’s lips had met hers, parting after every few seconds, and then continuing after every comment. “Every time I kiss you, I get an urge to do it again. And again. And again.
“Tch. You’re a f*cking junkie, fishin’ for a fix, huh?” Jack had said. And as she did, Shepard’s kisses began to trail down the opposite side of her neck. “Bet your ass I am.” Shepard said, as he done so. The kisses had moved from her neck to her collarbones.
“Slow down, Shepard; I’ll still be here, when you wake up.” Jack had said. But Shepard had not responded.
“Shepard.” Jack had called, in one last attempt to get his attention. When she called, however, Shepard’s lips met hers once more.
“Jack.” Shepard had responded, once parting from her. She had been at a loss for words. Whatever she was going to say, she had forgotten a very long time ago. After a long gaze into Shepard’s eyes, Jack had settled on to two words that would summarize this moment.
“F*ck you.”
And with that, Jack had pulled him into a kiss of her own.
It was a good way to start the morning.
#12794
Posté 06 août 2010 - 03:02
MHRazer
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@Urdaniel - You didn't disappoint man, that was awesome. I really don't have anything bad to say. The freckles thing was great, and you had me smiling through most of reading it to the point I had people asking me what I was grinning like a fool at
Edit:
Sundown, yours was really good too. I wish I had more critiques to give you guys so it doesn't sound like I'm just saying "Wow, that was great!" for the heck of it... but the writers in this thread don't really leave much room for criticism. At least not to a non-english major such as myself.
Edit:
Sundown, yours was really good too. I wish I had more critiques to give you guys so it doesn't sound like I'm just saying "Wow, that was great!" for the heck of it... but the writers in this thread don't really leave much room for criticism. At least not to a non-english major such as myself.
Modifié par MHRazer, 06 août 2010 - 03:04 .
#12795
Posté 06 août 2010 - 03:48
Razorsedge820
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Awesome chapter Urdaniel. I'm not one for Fanfics since 8 times out of 10 they just plain suck but Urdaniel fics and a few others posted on this thread win me over.
But I have to ask can anyone else picture Jack waking up a bit early and trying to make breakfast for Shepard? I can only imagine Jack under cooking the eggs and burning the bacon.
But I have to ask can anyone else picture Jack waking up a bit early and trying to make breakfast for Shepard? I can only imagine Jack under cooking the eggs and burning the bacon.
#12796
Posté 06 août 2010 - 04:42
Goat_Shepard
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I actually have no idea when she makes that look. Shepard must say something stupidUrdaniel wrote...
The bottommost one is the one I was thinking of, Goat. Thanks heaps. [smilie]../../../images/forum/emoticons/grin.png[/smilie]
Razorsedge820 wrote...
But I have to ask can anyone else picture Jack waking up a bit early and trying to make breakfast for Shepard? I can only imagine Jack under cooking the eggs and burning the bacon.
Waking up earlier than everyone else like Dexter? Yes.
Cooking? Something tells me very badly
Looks like I got more fic to read.Sundown Native wrote...
Alright, here's the beginning of the "Son Of Mindoir" fic I had been talking about, earlier. Honestly, I could have wrote more, had I'd gone to sleep, but eh. It's probably as long as it's going to get, now.
Hope you enjoy.
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_ 11:56, A.M. _
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Pretty awesome, man. I have a hard time imagining how Jack argues, but this works, I guess. Lots of swearing
Modifié par Goat_Shepard, 06 août 2010 - 04:42 .
#12798
Guest_yorkj86_*
Posté 06 août 2010 - 04:58
Guest_yorkj86_*
Guest_yorkj86_*
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Adorably flustered Jack looks adorably flustered.
#12799
Posté 06 août 2010 - 06:04
Epantiras
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Goat_Shepard wrote...
"You did what? Pervert!"
:-P sorry, I could not resist. This screenshots is screaming "caption me".
#12800
Posté 06 août 2010 - 06:35
Urdaniel
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- 136 messages
Thanks for the comments. Much appreciated. Getting to work on Part 2 now; hopefully it'll be done in a timely fashion.
@Razor - Day 5 is your fault, btw. No, not the delay. The fact that they're going to a party. I wasn't originally planning to take them out of the "comfort zone" (the apartment) as it were, but then you made that suggestion and I thought "Why the f- not?" Been playing with a lot of different versions since and I hope the one I finally chose doesn't fall on its face.
Moving on, the breakfast question, more generally the "Jack cooking" question. Mondo already tackled this in a quickfic some ways back in the thread, and for me, that's already pretty much the last word on the topic. To recap what she said back then - Yes Jack might certainly attempt such a gesture, yes she'd probably botch it to a greater or lesser extent, but also yes, it would be so heartwarming that it wouldn't need to be perfect. Can't see any way to go from there, given my skillset, which is why I have them (except for during the party), eating MREs. Given their backgrounds (upbringing, life experiences, being biotic) I get the impression they're grateful to not have to worry about where they're getting their next meal and not having to worry about how much they're going to get to eat when they do. Oh sure they'd complain about the quality (long-standing tradition for military folks and all that) but that's for the sake of form a lot of the time.
And frankly, despite all the talk about Gardner's cooking, I think - even before Shep gets him the Citadel supplies - his meals would be pretty much gourmet fare for folks like Jack and Shep (assuming that he comes from one of the harsher backgrounds). I mean, really, if all it takes to improve his cooking is getting fresh ingredients, he can't be a terrible cook to start with. Just watch say, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares; a lot of those folks have access to some pretty good ingredients and they STILL botch their dishes/menus.
Yes I'm rambling. And yes I'll stop before someone walking in starts wondering whether or not this is the Mess Sergeant Gardner thread.
EDIT: I don't know why, but I can just see Jack calling Shep a pervert for some reason or another. This despite the fact that, on average, she's experienced a heck of a lot more of the seedier side of the galaxy than Shep ever has (except maybe Earthborns and/or Ruthlesses).
@Razor - Day 5 is your fault, btw. No, not the delay. The fact that they're going to a party. I wasn't originally planning to take them out of the "comfort zone" (the apartment) as it were, but then you made that suggestion and I thought "Why the f- not?" Been playing with a lot of different versions since and I hope the one I finally chose doesn't fall on its face.
Moving on, the breakfast question, more generally the "Jack cooking" question. Mondo already tackled this in a quickfic some ways back in the thread, and for me, that's already pretty much the last word on the topic. To recap what she said back then - Yes Jack might certainly attempt such a gesture, yes she'd probably botch it to a greater or lesser extent, but also yes, it would be so heartwarming that it wouldn't need to be perfect. Can't see any way to go from there, given my skillset, which is why I have them (except for during the party), eating MREs. Given their backgrounds (upbringing, life experiences, being biotic) I get the impression they're grateful to not have to worry about where they're getting their next meal and not having to worry about how much they're going to get to eat when they do. Oh sure they'd complain about the quality (long-standing tradition for military folks and all that) but that's for the sake of form a lot of the time.
And frankly, despite all the talk about Gardner's cooking, I think - even before Shep gets him the Citadel supplies - his meals would be pretty much gourmet fare for folks like Jack and Shep (assuming that he comes from one of the harsher backgrounds). I mean, really, if all it takes to improve his cooking is getting fresh ingredients, he can't be a terrible cook to start with. Just watch say, Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares; a lot of those folks have access to some pretty good ingredients and they STILL botch their dishes/menus.
Yes I'm rambling. And yes I'll stop before someone walking in starts wondering whether or not this is the Mess Sergeant Gardner thread.
EDIT: I don't know why, but I can just see Jack calling Shep a pervert for some reason or another. This despite the fact that, on average, she's experienced a heck of a lot more of the seedier side of the galaxy than Shep ever has (except maybe Earthborns and/or Ruthlesses).
Modifié par Urdaniel, 06 août 2010 - 06:37 .
