20813 réponses à ce sujet

[Urdaniel]

And just to join the discussion late...again, haven't been writing lately due to preoccupation, stress, distractions, all of which put this writer's poor little muse to sleep (hopefully not comatose).  Got snippets written, but not a cohesive whole - some snippets don't even belong to the current storyline. 

As for the way Jack smells, I just sidestepped the entire issue by setting things in an era where she takes regular showers.  I do wonder, however, if the low-grade mass effect fields constantly generated by biotics lead to Jack having a faintly ozone smell (especially given her power level); it's something I've been considering adding (somewhat belatedly) to my fic descriptions.  Can't recall offhand whether someone in here has already weighed in on the issue.

[Mondo47]

It's a nice idea... angry Jack smells like an approaching thunderstorm. Appropriate!

[adriano_c]

Jack smells like ozone? Funny.

[Weiser_Cain]

I always thought jack would smell like leather, vinegar, and baby powder.

[Mondo47]

yorkj86 wrote...

Does that mean that, in your Jack & Shepard Happily Ever After fanfic setting, on days when Jack is in a pissy mood, miles from their home, elderly people will get aches in their joints?

I think little Miranda might be able to tell this story best...

Wildgrass Valley School, Califa Falls, 09:16 am...


Miss Pickman stands before her expectant class of eight and nine year olds. She notes Daryl Jarvis has already dozed off at his desk, Shannon Hoffman is drawing furiously instead of paying attention and Kairys Allama is messing with her hair. So far Miss Pickman has had to deal with three reports on what has class did over spring break, which so far involved one trip to see relatives in a neighbouring state, one trip offworld to see a grandparent on Mars, and one holiday to Beckenstein and a father being arrested for driving a skycar like a "total jackass." She fully expects Kairys to talk about her mother and her new asari "father" having some terrible encounter with her biological father (there have been twelve of these stories so far during the year), Daryl Jarvis will upon waking spin a yarn about becoming a krogan when he grows up and even more of the typical spring break yarns she hears every year. She noticies Miranda Shepard waving her report over her head, all smiles and beautiful hair and just knows what is going to happen. She may as well get it over with...

Miss Pickman: (resignation in her voice) Yes Miranda, you can go next.

Miranda scampers up to the head of the classroom dragging a curiously-heavy schoolbag along the ground behind her and Miss Pickman hushes the other children.

Miranda: Ok... My Spring Break by Miranda Shepard. On my spring break, we were planning to go and see Grandma Hannah, but Grandma Hannah got recalled and ended up having to patrol in the krogan sector. She sent us a picture of a rachni spaceship though, and said she missed us all. Mommy said she was lying through her teeth about that, which Daddy didn't like. They ended up having a big argument and mommy threw the refrigerator at him so I went to the bunker in the yard until they were all done. They made up though, and Mommy and Daddy had some "special time" to make up for the fridge incident -

Shannon Hoffman shouts from his chair.

Shannon: What's "special time"?

Miranda: (rolling her eyes) Having sex. Duh!

The entire class erupts into laughter. It takes Miss Pickman 53 seconds to regain order.

Miss Pickman: Miranda, is there any more... "special time" in this story?

Miranda leafs through the notes on her datapad.

Miranda: Uh... yes Miss Pickman.

Miss Pickman: Can you leave those parts out of the story, please?

Miranda: (brightly) Ok! So Mommy and Daddy got a call from Aunty Miranda, and Mommy called her all kinds of rude names on the link. Aunty Miranda invited us to stay with her for the holidays because she has a house on the Citadel. So we took a ship to the Citadel and Mommy got stopped at the port when we landed because of all her implants and Daddy had to stop her from cramming her bags up the security man's a -

Miss Pickman makes a record-breaking save and hushes Miranda before she can finish the sentence.

Miss Pickman: And then what happened?

Miranda: Aunty Miranda and Mommy called each other names for ages, then went out to a bar for six hours. I stayed home with Daddy and we played Galaxy of Fantasy II. Then police brought Mommy home. When I woke up Mommy and Aunty Miranda were asleep on the couch together so Daddy took a picture of it so he could "get it framed".

We stayed on the Citadel for six days. I went fishing with Mommy, even though there are no fish, and we took a picture with a fish we bought from a store to send to Tuchanka because "it would totally mess with Grunt's head." Daddy showed me the Citadel Tower, where I met the krogan representative to the Citadel Council who said I would make Daddy's clan proud one day. He had a really big hump. Aunty Miranda took me for ice cream every day, and said when we all went home she would see about sending me a pony. Mommy said Aunty Miranda spoils me rotten. Grandma Hannah says that too, because Daddy says her and Mommy have lots in common. I asked if I could have a shatha instead because they look more fun, but Mommy said one dangerous animal in the house is enough. Aunty Miranda asked if she meant Mommy or our varren, and they had a huge argument and Mommy called Aunty a "prissy little c -

Miss Pickman: (hastily) Go on, Miranda.

Miranda: Well Daddy broke it up, and... oh... you said to leave out the... ok. And then... oh, Uncle Garrus met us and I had a go with his rifle. He took the ammo out and we pretended to shoot the windows in Executor Pallin's office. Uncle Garrus said I could have blown his head right off from where we were sat. We ended up going to C-Sec because someone saw us and I got my fingerprints scanned! Daddy came and bailed me though. Uncle Garrus said he had a rifle at my age, so I asked Daddy for one of his when we got home. Daddy says you can tell why Uncle Garrus has no kids of his own.

When we left the Citadel Aunty Miranda and Mommy called each other rude names a lot and hugged because they like each other really. Before we left though this lady reporter started asking Daddy about Mommy's "criminal record"... so Mommy hit her on the head with her camera drone.

Shannon: I saw that on the news!

Miranda: And then daddy called the reporter a bad name and we came home. We spent the rest of spring break at home and we went to the beach a lot to see Mommy and Daddy's favorite rock. I had a really good holiday, and next year I'd like to go to Thessia, because Aunty Miranda says the shopping there is great. Mommy says it's a planet full of who -

Miss Pickman: (insistantly) So did you bring back a momento from your holiday?

Miranda: Oh, yes Miss! I brought this! Uncle Garrus got it for me...

Miranda heaves a chunky metal discus out of her bag and thumps it noisily onto Miss Pickman's desk. Blue charge lights chase around grooves in its surface. Miss Pickman winces, but at least this is better than Miranda's show-and-tell visit with the varren.

Miranda: (in a loud voice) This is a dreadnaught mass driver slug. When fired it can make a big enough explosion to destroy a city! Daddy has one he uses as a paperweight, but this one's mine!

[Urdaniel]

yorkj86 wrote...

Nothing specific's been mentioned.  Mondo briefly covered the way biotics build up excess static electricity in their bodies.

The ozone idea is interesting.   What would you do with it?   Have Shepard tease her about it?

Actually, the extent to which I've "done" anything with it is basically just as another piece of sensory description.  But now with all these bits of ideas (especially Mondo's thunderstorm thing) being floated, I may have to use the idea in a rather more substantial way.  Time will tell.

And as for seniors getting aches in their joints, that's one heck of a low-pressure zone created by her biotic field in that case.  Wonder what Shep did to tick her off?

Btw Mondo, awesome fic.  Yes, I broke my own moratorium to read it. 

[MHRazer]

Oh man Mondo, that was awesome. You had me laughing the whole way through. Especially this part:

Then police brought Mommy home. When I woke up Mommy and Aunty Miranda were asleep on the couch together so Daddy took a picture of it so he could "get it framed".

[adriano_c]

[axl99]

I'm kinda thinkin' instead of singing, Jack hums. Because little jingles and melodies could probably get stuck in her head pretty easily.



Jack and the smell of thunderstorms? I think of rain. And when I think of the smell of rain, I think of the sea, and fish. Many fish.



I can imagine Jack pranking people by shocking them with static. Y'know. Surprise poking. Hand shakes. Hair frizzing. And from there Jack is made to touch a sheet of scrap metal to get rid of excess static every 20 min.

[adriano_c]

axl99 wrote...

I'm kinda thinkin' instead of singing, Jack hums.

Jack humming 'Orinoco Flow'? I could see it.

@york,

Yeah, I like it.

[Pacifien]

Aw, that comic is sweet. Who did the artwork? Of course, my favorite part is Grunt's expression.

[GodWood]

Aww, that second frame is adorable.

[Epantiras]

GodWood wrote...

Aww, that second frame is adorable.

Agrees

[Mondo47]

Some things can just be kissed better. Though maybe when no-one else is around, mind you

[Giygas12]

Jack and Garrus were my comic reliefs. Their sarcasm during missions was very welcome

[Urdaniel]

Great pic.  I second Mondo's motion on that one as well; good thing Shep's already in sickbay because panel 4 is not going to be pretty at all. 

[axl99]

*laughs uncontrollably