10369 réponses à ce sujet

[Aroihkin]

Ha, I've been in the situation SurelyForth and Gilgamesh1138 are talking about, too. My insane ex actually put me off writing fic for four, almost five years.

I won't TMI too much, but tl;dr they were effing insane. This was such a problem that it spawned and fueled a six month fight that ended a decade-long friendship, and never mind anything else that had been built on top of that. And again, put me off writing for nearly half that time after.

But that was obviously a pretty severe case of crazy, so. YMMV.

[MireliA]

Its amazing how jealous some people can get over a laptop...

[LupusYondergirl]

MireliA wrote...

Its amazing how jealous some people can get over a laptop...

It really is.  I get the boyfriend going "fanfic?  fanfic?  Really?  What's next, SCA?" every once in a while.  I just ignore him, though.  I mean, he DM's a D&D game, like he's one to talk.  (And I would TOTALLY join SCA if I had the money.)

It's funny, though.  If I sat playing video games for hours or watching tv no one would say a word.  Since I'm writing it's somehow odd.  But then, we live in a society where calling someone "Einstein" is an insult, of all things.  Any hobby that hints towards a slight intellectual bent is going to be looked on strangely.

[Gilgamesh1138]

Yeah funny what an SO can put you through.  I ignore mine too.  And what get's me, is I was a Evercrack widow, so I started playing just so I could spend time with him.  Then I played WoW for the same reason (and it was fun).  Then his panties get in a knot because I write instead of watching telly, or playing?  ROFL!  Yeah,  as my friend Violet Theirin says, he can just go get happy in the same pants he got sad in.  I like that the writing keeps my noggin' going.  Much more intellectually stimulating than TV.

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 07 juillet 2010 - 05:58 .

[Sagacious Rage]

Well, in my experience...



Before I started writing again I didn't have a whole lot to do with my time. My career was DOA and the husband was making so much money there really wasn't a whole lot of pressure for me to get it up and running. So I devoted myself to my husband and my home and was the model housewife for a while.



But when I started writing again, and it started with fanfic but since then I've branched out, the husband got upset. Part of it was that he had to adjust to this idea that there was something else I was going to devote my time to, something he didn't really understand or have a whole lot to contribute to. But the other part was my fault. I was letting it get in the way of the time I should have been spending with him.



You shouldn't feel guilty for pursuing your own interests, but healthy relationships take work on the part of both partners. We haven't completely ironed out all the kinks. But once we both looked at how our own behaviors and attitudes were causing problems between us and started working on fixing them, things got a lot better.

[Sagacious Rage]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

MireliA wrote...

Its amazing how jealous some people can get over a laptop...

It really is.  I get the boyfriend going "fanfic?  fanfic?  Really?  What's next, SCA?" every once in a while.  I just ignore him, though.  I mean, he DM's a D&D game, like he's one to talk.  (And I would TOTALLY join SCA if I had the money.)

It's funny, though.  If I sat playing video games for hours or watching tv no one would say a word.  Since I'm writing it's somehow odd.  But then, we live in a society where calling someone "Einstein" is an insult, of all things.  Any hobby that hints towards a slight intellectual bent is going to be looked on strangely.

I was SO SCARED to admit to the husband that I was writing fanfic. I hid it from him for like a month before I finally cracked. And at first, he was like ":blink:, really?" But then he thought about it for a bit and said "You know what? GO FOR IT! We're too cynical as a society YOU GO AND BE CREATIVE IT'S AWESOME!" And I just about exploded with happiness, lol. 

[Maria13]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

I do prompts. My creative writing professor recommended it and I found it helps. With fanfic perhaps even more, since there's less to come up with off the top of your head. Two pages inspired by the word "chocolate" or the first song that plays when you hit random on your mp3 player or something like that. His were even more specific, though. "Write three pages about old friends bumping into each other for the first time in years," something like that.

But, for me, I find once I start writing I'll usually start getting ideas for other things. I rarely have less than three or four word documents open at a time. One for my current story, one of notes, outlines, ideas, and occasionally entire scenes or discussions I'm going to insert later but write out now while the idea's in my mind, another of a story I'm working on for the future, and a fourth for my novel that is so freaking dead in the water right now I don't know what to do with it. So when I lose steam I usually just force myself to smash away at the keys until I feel better.

This is me...  I have the FF story doc so far, the FF source where I copy paste any info I need or might need and the FF fragments where I jot down scenes/dialogue that I haven't yet used...  Then there's the notebook I take on the commute.

[Maria13]

Tellervo wrote...

What do you guys do when you lose motivation?

Find a new hobby.  Have sex.  Hit my head against the wall.  Not necessarily in the same order.  Motivation can be overrated.

[Maria13]

Tellervo wrote...

Gilgamesh1138 wrote...
 Does it take away from someone else?

I have been convinced that it does.

Then f*** them!  It's not as if it's killing them is it? If they cannot accommodate something for which you have developed a passion then, ADIEU

[Tellervo]

Maria13 wrote...

Tellervo wrote...

What do you guys do when you lose motivation?

Have sex.

This suggestion is extremely lolarious right now.

[Maria13]

Tellervo wrote...

Maria13 wrote...

Tellervo wrote...

What do you guys do when you lose motivation?

Have sex.

This suggestion is extremely lolarious right now.

Ah, so it's the old dilemma sex or art?  Art should win everytime.

[Gilgamesh1138]

Ah the love interest is being the pain.



Look, lik Saga said, HEALTHY, realtionships take work from both parnters. But you also have to look at your partner if they are trying to get you to drop writing all together, instead of a comprimise (you spend x amount of time with me and you get to spend x amount of time on your writing). If the person in question is demanding you drop it all together...that says, DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER!--- type of vibe to me. That says control freak who will make you drop all your friends and get you isolated and abuse usually follows (mental or physical). The control freak stalker... as Abby says on on NCIS, the crazy ones are the best, but not good for your mental health.

[Tellervo]

Maria13 wrote...

Tellervo wrote...

Maria13 wrote...

Tellervo wrote...

What do you guys do when you lose motivation?

Have sex.

This suggestion is extremely lolarious right now.

Ah, so it's the old dilemma sex or art?  Art should win everytime.

**** no.  My partner asks about my stories at least once a week, genuinely interested, even if he isn't interested in reading them.  Hence why I shut up when you guys started bashing your SOs.  Clearly, it's something people need to get off their chests--all sound like legitimate gripes, even.  It's that he's in Europe, and I am in the US, at the moment.  Sex?  Lol.

Modifié par Tellervo, 07 juillet 2010 - 06:50 .

[Gilgamesh1138]

aw, yeah long distance...not condusive to having sex time. Been there done that.

My SO finally got over his jealousy. It was get over it or he was welcome to hang his shingle somewhere else. I have little patience for passive/aggressive manipulations. I call him by his mother's name when he starts that stuff and it usually works (can't stand my mother-in-law).

Still Tell, if this person ( not the SO ) is trying to get you to quit all together sans comprimise, again I still say a look at their motivations. Sorry but sounds like someone is trying to control you.  Without more info, this is just supisition and I am whistling in the dark  (but I've often been told you should only do what you know how to do well...They might Be Giants anyone?).

Modifié par Gilgamesh1138, 07 juillet 2010 - 07:36 .

[LupusYondergirl]

I really get suspicious whenever someone wants a friend or SO to give up their hobbies. Unless your hobby is shooting heroin and passing out on streetcorners or something it seems strange that a friend would be against it. I have to agree with Gil, a lot of times discouraging outside independent interests is a big indicator of control issues.

[Shadow of Light Dragon]

Tellervo wrote...

Gilgamesh1138 wrote...
 Does it take away from someone else?

I have been convinced that it does.

I say it depends on how justifiable this is.

I've had friends who, for a long stretch of time, gave up passionate hobbies like music, even to breaking up a band, for the sake of new additions to their families. Priorities and all, but it sounds like you're in a different place.

The thing about any hobby is that they usually *do* take away from someone else, to some extent. Writing is one of those things that you can only really do alone, which can be interpreted as an anti-social hobby while you're actually doing it (not sharing it). I don't see this as a bad thing, so long as the hobby doesn't stop you from getting out once in a while for contact with non-fictitious people, but any sort of creative endeavour, solitary or otherwise, is going to demand time away from other things and people who are uninvolved in the process. Unlike some leisure activities, writing is something that can be shared--it doesn't 'take away' without resulting in something that can be given to others.

You have to decide for yourself whether the trade-off is worth it, though.

Edit: Also, if your SO is interested in your writing and asks about it often, giving up the hobby would take that away from both of you, no? XD

Modifié par Shadow of Light Dragon, 08 juillet 2010 - 12:44 .

[Sialater]

I'm saner when I write. I freak out about the little stuff less. I feel better and more empowered in my self. I'm more likely to want to be more social when appropriate. I get all my crazy out on the page. The fanfics are for working out problems in my own IP.



My husband was iffy at first on the whole writing every night thing. It did take away from sitting on the couch staring at the TV together, after all. But then he got re-involved in his own hobby (Warhammer 40K) and I try to write SOMETHING for two hours every night.

[jenncgf]

Wow, talk about timing.



I just got back from a few days of being absolutely discouraged and feeling like I didn't know what the heck I was doing with my fledgling writing hobby, only to find that some other folks have been having somewhat similar issues.



Tellervo, this being a relatively new thing to me, what I did for my demotivated state was 1) take a day off. 2) forgive myself for taking the day off. 3) come back and write just a little.



This is what I did when I was in school (college/high school/whatever) and would have to write a paper, and if my state of mind that day was 'I'm going to be writing crap today because I'm having a completely off day'.



I think my most current chapter is not the best thing I've ever put out there by far, but I'm hoping it'll get me working toward a better place.



I'm sorry you've been having a rough time of it!

[LupusYondergirl]

Bright side of fresh slate for DA2? Never having to worry about your post-game stickler-for-cannon fic being turned AU overnight.



(I'm actually kind of excited. I'd prefer to think most of my Wardens are perfectly content being the commander and while that makes for fun writing, playing a game about people chatting and recruiting other wardens wouldn't hold much interest over 80 hours.)

[MireliA]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

Bright side of fresh slate for DA2? Never having to worry about your post-game stickler-for-cannon fic being turned AU overnight.

(I'm actually kind of excited. I'd prefer to think most of my Wardens are perfectly content being the commander and while that makes for fun writing, playing a game about people chatting and recruiting other wardens wouldn't hold much interest over 80 hours.)

And you don't need to worry about not being canon any more! yay! . (not you personally, just someone said it to me the other day...)

I think it could be really interesting to see what they do with it, though as a fangirl at heart it would be good if they can find room for a bit of Al or Zev or even Teagan

Modifié par MireliA, 08 juillet 2010 - 10:28 .

[Miri1984]

I think they're going to bring back some of the old characters - in fact I would be VERY VERY surprised if your warden doesn't turn up at some point, although how they'll get around the fact that he/she will have to be voiced I'm not sure. Pretty sure we're going to be Morrigan's kid. We have to play as a human it seems, for "plot" reasons.

[odiedragon]

Ah Miri, I remember a time when I had your optimism.... :/



I'm not going to post my thoughts about DA 2.0 here. Oops, I did a little. I think I care a little too much about this.

[LupusYondergirl]

Miri1984 wrote...

I think they're going to bring back some of the old characters - in fact I would be VERY VERY surprised if your warden doesn't turn up at some point, although how they'll get around the fact that he/she will have to be voiced I'm not sure. Pretty sure we're going to be Morrigan's kid. We have to play as a human it seems, for "plot" reasons.

They actually already confirmed we don't play as the DR kid.  (but in such a way that it doesn't confirm if they show up at all or not- only that it isn't the PC)

I'm thinking interaction with the first game may be limited to codex entries or something, since the game doesn't take place in Ferelden.

[LupusYondergirl]

Oh... and I suspect the single race PC is because they're going to voice it. I started wondering about that when the Leliana DLC came out. Cheaper to hire just two voice actors than six.



(and I was SO PISSED when I saw the Origin companions wouldn't be in Awakening. I was POSITIVE I would hate it, and hate the new characters. Almost 200,000 words of Anders fic later... clearly that wasn't the case. So, I'm being cautiously optimistic)

[Miri1984]

Oh, I'll buy it and love it, I have no doubt. And it will be great to have some info about Origins/Awakenings characters even if we don't get them back again - as you say Lupus, I was far from disappointed in the new Awakenings characters. To be honest, I'd rather have more Anders than more Alistair - we had Alistair's story, but it's a wrench to let them go.



*gets busy writing more fanfic*