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[mousestalker]

Does anyone else ever feel the need to be totally perverse? I got sucked into reading yet more fanfic over at Fanfiction.net this morning and stumbled across a real wallbanger story involving a certain NPC who should be a love interest but isn't. The author got everything completely wrong except the name and physical description.



Now all I can think about is what would be the ultimate truly awful Dragon Age fanfic. It would have to involve Alistair, there would need to be slash and MarySue must be featured prominently. The Couslands are the most popular as near as I can tell. What other elements should be present for the worst DA fanfic ever?

[SurelyForth]

KSuri wrote...

The inconsistancy is what is bugging me. Considering that what the Wardens are all about you wouldn't think they would take to letting any of their own just leave. Alistair I could almost....almost see in the instance where he is to become king and even then I think that 's a stretch because you give up what you were before to be a Warden. And Wardens are supposed to be politically neutral. I would also think that leaving on the edge of, potentially, the biggest battle of the Blight wouldn't be taken well at all. Maybe Riorden let Alistair walk in hopes that he'd realize his duty in the end or that if they all failed, Alistair would take up the task himself. I dunno, there was a lot of crazy stuff happening around that time.

I almost said this a few days ago in a Landsmeet discussion, but then reminded myself I'm not allowed to post in Landsmeet discussions anymore and went on my merry way. But I think it could definitely be the case.

@Mousetalker I have a whole litany of things that I hate in a DA fic. I think making Alistair/Leliana/Wynne the only companions that matter would have to be up there for dullness reasons.

Modifié par SurelyForth, 10 septembre 2010 - 05:50 .

[Sialater]

I think there should be unicorns.

[SurelyForth]

Sialater wrote...

I think there should be unicorns.

But the Alicorn would bring it back to awesome.

[Sarah1281]

Whenever I encounter something I can't stand in DA fanfics (or, more commonly, on the board and then I inevitably get messages asking 'Do people really think Riordan was a spy?', 'Do people really think their Cousland should get to be Queen alone?', 'Do people really want to romance OGRHEN?', 'Do people really want their mage to have the OGB?', ect.) I just write a one-shot about it and then I feel a lot better and scare many people who stumble across it.

[okiness]

Next time I want you to write fic I'll send my brother at you. He's very dragon age stupid

[Rikudou Sennin]

I like goin to fanfic to read Morrigan and Cousland romance stories, i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not. there's not much Mature with them as much as it were for example the dr, none about witch hunt but i'll get searchin.

[Sarah1281]

I'm definitely going to have to write one about WH soon to deal with...well, things about it although it won't actually involve a Cousland.

[Rikudou Sennin]

Sarah1281 wrote...

I'm definitely going to have to write one about WH soon to deal with...well, things about it although it won't actually involve a Cousland.

Fancy a competition with me lol jk but i might so a WH story aswell in the weekend before i goto college on monday. I'll extending more of the lines from the game because my warden has random turret moments and he has never swore at or infront of Morrigan... ever! but he will but aimed at sumone else.

[Maria13]

Rikudou Sennin wrote...

I like goin to fanfic to read Morrigan and Cousland romance stories, i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not. there's not much Mature with them as much as it were for example the dr, none about witch hunt but i'll get searchin.

I don't think it's odd, ummm, cute, after all it's guys who have written about 50% of the best love stories ever...  There's even a few guys here who write love stories, so don't stress it.  If you want mature m Cousland/Anora can I recommend Xandurpin's latest?

[nos_astra]

mousestalker wrote...
Now all I can think about is what would be the ultimate truly awful Dragon Age fanfic. It would have to involve Alistair, there would need to be slash and MarySue must be featured prominently. The Couslands are the most popular as near as I can tell. What other elements should be present for the worst DA fanfic ever?

It follows the game plot religiously (despite the fact that all the plot holes are even more obvious without an actual game around them), every companion is recruited and the approval level is rising with each word the Warden breathes. Of course, only game dialogue is used.

Guess what, I prefer reading post-Bight stories.

[maxernst]

KSuri wrote...

SurelyForth wrote...

They would probably have to have some internal justice for crimes committed by Wardens, because it's going to happen and they seem too secretive to let an outside entity handle it.

I have to imagine that standard-issue Warden justice is brutal. Execution is most likely.

I also don't think they punish deserters at all. Riordan lets Alistair walk on th eve of a Blight (and there's no indication that the Wardens went after him, unless they're awesomely sadistic and deliberately sent him down the road to wino-dom as punishment).

SPOILER ALERT **** There are also a few things in The Calling that indicate leaving Wardens isn't that big a deal. Julian and Nicholas had plans on leaving and Fiona indicates that the biggest reason she can't is because she's a mage.

This is all strange/inconsistent in light of Jory's death (but he would have ran off immediately and told everyone what exactly was up with the Wardens and Duncan didn't need anymore bad publicity).

The inconsistancy is what is bugging me. Considering that what the Wardens are all about you wouldn't think they would take to letting any of their own just leave. Alistair I could almost....almost see in the instance where he is to become king and even then I think that 's a stretch because you give up what you were before to be a Warden. And Wardens are supposed to be politically neutral. I would also think that leaving on the edge of, potentially, the biggest battle of the Blight wouldn't be taken well at all. Maybe Riorden let Alistair walk in hopes that he'd realize his duty in the end or that if they all failed, Alistair would take up the task himself. I dunno, there was a lot of crazy stuff happening around that time.

That is the direction I'm leaning right now. Riorden let him go because he was trying to cover all the situations and was trusting Alistair would come around. The Wardens (on a whole) might let you leave when darkspawn activities are at a low with the cavet that you will come back when called upon. During a Blight tho.....when more Wardens are needed, just deciding you leave is bad in a big way.

I was wondering (although there's nothing to suggest it) whether the Wardens might go after Alistair after the Blight.  At the time, maybe Riordan let him go because (unlike Ser Jory), Alistair is a formidable warrior by that point in the game and might beat him.  The danger of risking one of the last remaining Wardens in Ferelden, and the only one who knows much of anything, was too great.

[LupusYondergirl]

Rikudou Sennin wrote...
i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not.

Romeo and Juliet, which is probably the most famous love story ever written in English, maybe in any language, was written by a man.  Literature shouldn't have a gender, it's for everyone. 

[LupusYondergirl]

klarabella wrote...

mousestalker wrote...
Now all I can think about is what would be the ultimate truly awful Dragon Age fanfic. It would have to involve Alistair, there would need to be slash and MarySue must be featured prominently. The Couslands are the most popular as near as I can tell. What other elements should be present for the worst DA fanfic ever?

It follows the game plot religiously (despite the fact that all the plot holes are even more obvious without an actual game around them), every companion is recruited and the approval level is rising with each word the Warden breathes. Of course, only game dialogue is used.

Guess what, I prefer reading post-Bight stories.

Yes! This!
(Also, the reason my blight-story is about 20% game plot and 80% people talking to each other after the fact.)

Also, the ultimate bad fic?  The Warden would need to be so utterly helpless and insecure you wonder how she (since it MUST be a she) can find her way out of her tent in the morning much less fight anything larger than a housecat.  She must cry.  A LOT.

[Raonar]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

Rikudou Sennin wrote...
i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not.

Romeo and Juliet, which is probably the most famous love story ever written in English, maybe in any language, was written by a man.  Literature shouldn't have a gender, it's for everyone. 

More people should definitely consider this point before judging.

Well played Lupus

[Maria13]

I was wondering (although there's nothing to suggest it) whether the Wardens might go after Alistair after the Blight.  At the time, maybe Riordan let him go because (unlike Ser Jory), Alistair is a formidable warrior by that point in the game and might beat him.  The danger of risking one of the last remaining Wardens in Ferelden, and the only one who knows much of anything, was too great.

I don't know exactly what you mean with "go after" whether it is make an example of him or to seek to bring him back into the fold, but I think this is a good point.  Alistair is an asset (and potentially politically influential in Ferelden to boot) and Riordan may well have been at a low ebb (he'd just been tortured by the acolytes of an out and out sadist, for the love of the Maker) and had an awful lot on his plate, so it was wise of him to let Alistair flounce out and perhaps hope that Ali would return in time, as I think, almost certainly he would (if the archdemon had not been stopped in Denerim by the Warden, I can easily see Ali returning and attempting to take it down).

Hope I'm making sense...

Modifié par Maria13, 10 septembre 2010 - 07:55 .

[Sarah1281]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

Rikudou Sennin wrote...
i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not.

Romeo and Juliet, which is probably the most famous love story ever written in English, maybe in any language, was written by a man.  Literature shouldn't have a gender, it's for everyone. 

Or the most famous 'teenagers doing stupid things and having no control of their hormones' stories ever. I did like the play but I will never believe that two teenagers who profess their undying love to each other within hours of meeting and then get married a few hours later, afterwards they quickly are seperated for weeks on end until the double suicide at the end are in love.

Also, the ultimate bad fic?  The Warden would need to be so utterly helpless and insecure you wonder how she (since it MUST be a she) can find her way out of her tent in the morning much less fight anything larger than a housecat.  She must cry.  A LOT.

Damn, I knew I was forgetting something with my fail!Warden.

Although now I need to think of something that she would both care about and notice to make her cry over...maybe a horrible overreaction to being dumped by someone who didn't even want to be dating her but felt compelled to because of her Mary Sue powers? 

Modifié par Sarah1281, 10 septembre 2010 - 08:06 .

[maxernst]

Sarah1281 wrote...

LupusYondergirl wrote...

Rikudou Sennin wrote...
i know a guy reading love stories u may think i'm odd but really i'm not.

Romeo and Juliet, which is probably the most famous love story ever written in English, maybe in any language, was written by a man.  Literature shouldn't have a gender, it's for everyone. 

Or the most famous 'teenagers doing stupid things and having no control of their hormones' stories ever. I did like the play but I will never believe that two teenagers who profess their undying love to each other within hours of meeting and then get married a few hours later, afterwards they quickly are seperated for weeks on end until the double suicid at the end are in love.
 

Do you know the song "Number One Crush" by Garbage that features in the Romeo & Juliet movie?  It would seem that Shirley Manson shares your view of the play.

[Rikudou Sennin]

I'm british for god sake I did freakin hamlet and much ado bout nothin not romeo and juliet if WH were like that it'll be irony rite.

[Maria13]

Rikudou Sennin wrote...

I'm british for god sake I did freakin hamlet and much ado bout nothin not romeo and juliet if WH were like that it'll be irony rite.

Hey, a fellow Brit... Welcome

[SurelyForth]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Although now I need to think of something that she would both care about and notice to make her cry over...maybe a horrible overreaction to being dumped by someone who didn't even want to be dating her but felt compelled to because of her Mary Sue powers? 

Well, since there has to be slash involved, a comedic misunderstanding* whereupon PC stumbles upon Alistair and Zevran doing something that's Totally Not What It Looks Like?

Bonus points if it's something she's also done, which wasn't a big deal because It's Just Different, Ok?

*To which our Mary Sue completely overreacts...of course.

Modifié par SurelyForth, 10 septembre 2010 - 08:21 .

[mousestalker]

SurelyForth wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote...

Although now I need to think of something that she would both care about and notice to make her cry over...maybe a horrible overreaction to being dumped by someone who didn't even want to be dating her but felt compelled to because of her Mary Sue powers? 

Well, since there has to be slash involved, a comedic misunderstanding* whereupon PC stumbles upon Alistair and Zevran doing something that's Totally Not What It Looks Like?

Bonus points if it's something she's also done, which wasn't a big deal because It's Just Different, Ok?

*To which our Mary Sue completely overreacts...of course.

Oooh, even better than real slash, faux slash! That is brilliant! Our heroine not only must be Hurt, she must Understand in the end.

[Sialater]

Y'all are killing me, here. I can't laugh this hard at work.



Oh, and don't forget, woodland creatures must follow her everywhere. Except... they're Blight Wolves.

[LupusYondergirl]

mousestalker wrote...

SurelyForth wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote...

Although now I need to think of something that she would both care about and notice to make her cry over...maybe a horrible overreaction to being dumped by someone who didn't even want to be dating her but felt compelled to because of her Mary Sue powers? 

Well, since there has to be slash involved, a comedic misunderstanding* whereupon PC stumbles upon Alistair and Zevran doing something that's Totally Not What It Looks Like?

Bonus points if it's something she's also done, which wasn't a big deal because It's Just Different, Ok?

*To which our Mary Sue completely overreacts...of course.

Oooh, even better than real slash, faux slash! That is brilliant! Our heroine not only must be Hurt, she must Understand in the end.

Yes, but only after THEY apologize to HER.  Since her Mary Sue powers mean she's never wrong, even when overreacting and threatening suicide.  They're clearly at fault for doing something she could interperet incorrectly.  

[jackkel dragon]

LupusYondergirl wrote...

Yes, but only after THEY apologize to HER.  Since her Mary Sue powers mean she's never wrong, even when overreacting and threatening suicide.  They're clearly at fault for doing something she could interperet incorrectly.  

And this, my friends, is why my latest chapter (up for only two hours so far...) has the main character blaming people who aren't at fault and getting owned for it. (No, stew isn't supposed to be black.)

R+J: Do not try to convince me that's a good love story. To me, it's a love story gone wrong. The author (Shakespeare) must have been satirizing/mocking teenage dramas, and I really wonder how everyone thinks it was a story about enduring love.

Hamlet? Now that was a good play. Ghosts, angsty princes that don't get their way in the end (but make you actually wish they did), insane mothers/girlfriends, an unrepentant murderer/backstabber... Sounds like DAO when you break it down that way...