Ok, so let me sum up what I think this argument is about. There is the literal interpretation that the dialogue exactly reflects Shepherd's thoughts (the OP's opinion), and interpretation that Shepherd's actions are what are important to shaping the character (my opinion).
Here's why I have a problem with the "dialogue choices as Shepherd's thoughts angle": If the dialogue choices (not just the romantic ones, but all of them) are his/her direct thoughts he/she would appear to have a mental disorder. There are many times that the paragon vs. renegade dialogue choices are completely at odds. The game does respond, to some extent, to your choices (blue vs. red dialogue options, for example), but often it's just two diametrically opposed options on the same dialogue wheel. I guess you could argue that Shepherd has this internal dialogue going on in his/her head at all times, but it seems fairly extreme for a person without multiple personality disorder.
So that's why I choose to take the latter interpretation, i.e. Shep's actions are what are important. I could see why, if you chose to equate Shep's thoughts to the dialogue wheel options, then you might take the opinion of the OP. I happen to think that there's a problem with interpreting the dialogue wheel literally, but you're entitled to your own interpretation.