741 réponses à ce sujet

[LOLandStuff]

@ Sialater

Ha ha, yes I thought it would be fun using Shepard and Garrus as having the conversation.

[BlindBay7]

@ LOLandstuff

pure awesome

[Sialater]

I love that conversation, it makes me giggle every time. I've had to pause and listen to it whenever I walk by.

[BlindBay7]

you should repost that on the Garrus thread, they'd love you i bet

[Fulgrim88]

Bump. In the naaame of love

[DarkNova50]

TIM: Shepard...I've got another lead for you to follow. My sources tell me-
Shepard: Illusive Man...this needs to stop.
TIM: I beg your pardon?
Shepard: Look, it's not that I don't appreciate you bringing me back from the dead in some unholy experiment, purposely alienating me from the Alliance, and surrounding me with a bunch of social rejects. But this has to end now.
TIM: You seem to be forgetting, Shepard, that the Normandy is a Cerberus ship now. Which means you follow my orders. Jacob and Director Lawson-
Shepard: Both dead.
TIM: What?
Shepard: Dead. Both of them. Don't know if you realized this or not, but most of the people you had me recruiting? Not exactly big fans of Cerberus.
TIM: But...Yeoman Chambers? Engineer Gabby?
Shepard: I had them all liquidated, ****. Have a nice life. *disconnect*
TIM: ...I probably should have seen this coming after that whole Collector Ship thing.

[Ajspeed]

If I were Shepard id never need to worry about buying a starship:) Thanks Alliance and Cerebus you suckers!

[Gabey5]

BlindBay7 wrote...

you should repost that on the Garrus thread, they'd love you i bet

just did some

[Keltoris]

Dr. Peter Venkman wrote...

After ME2: I'm kinda tired. Think I'll go home now.

Save universe... later.

[Vorscythe]

sagevallant wrote...

(First meeting with Tali)
Shep: Tali! It's me, I'm back from the grave! Hug?
Tali: Shepard. You're alive? You abandoned us!
Shep: What? No! I said 'grave', remember? I was dead!
Tali: You can't just come waltzing back in and expect things to not have changed.
Shep: *facepalm*

(meeting Liara)
Shep: Sweetie!
Liara: (single tear) You are alive. Where the hell have you been?
Shep: Hell. Turns out 10 renegade points is 10 too many, according to God.
Liara: Do you know what it's been like without you? Why didn't you call me?
Shep: You saw me getting blown out into space!
Liara: You look fine.
Shep: Yeah, 2 years and 4 billion credits later! With some funky glow-in-the-dark scars!
Liara: The Shepard I remember didn't hide behind excuses.
Shep: *facepalm*

(meeting Ash)
Shep: Ash! How ya been?
Ash: Don't you start with me! You left us!
Shep: OH MY GOD! Were these women always such fickle b*tches and I just never noticed?

lol, renegade points.

Shepard: So, let me get this straight: we have an armory that's capable of creating at least 12 copies of the same weapon from a single scan, and yet we only have one X-76d Revenant Machine gun. Why is that, exactly?

TIM: We aren't made of money, Shepard. Those things-

Shepard: Bull****. You expect me to believe that you're capable of resurrecting the dead, recreating and pimping out the most advanced Alliance starship ever created, and yet you can't spare a few parts for a copy of a gun that could make my job alot easier?

TIM: Shepard, if we gave you that much handheld rape, the mission would completely lose all urgency, and you'd spend all that time having Asari orgies. I need you focused on the mission.

Shepard: That's....um, oh....that actually makes sense. In a depressing but awesome sort of way...

TIM: Talk later Shepard.

[trigger2kill1]

Gabey5,

Good Job and well said





Uhh.... get this stuff copyrighten before you loose it to bioware/ea

[aaniadyen]

trigger2kill1 wrote...

Gabey5,
Good Job and well said


Uhh.... get this stuff copyrighten before you loose it to bioware/ea

lol, he stole it from another forum and lied about how he wrote it there as well. The guy who originally wrote it even said "Hey, this guy copied all my **** to the official forums."

[Jarcander]

LOLandStuff wrote...

(Garrus - Shephard talk similar to one between the Quarian and Turian in bar at Illinium)

FTW

Modifié par Jarcander, 17 février 2010 - 01:08 .

[Jarcander]

Gabey5 wrote...

Miranda: Shepard can i speak with you
Shepard: sure i always have time for my crew
Miranda: I'm pregnant
Shepard: i have to go

Miranda: You ass! (+5 renegade)

[gotthammer]

There should be an option to steal a bigger ship...esp. one from the Council's fleet. I mean, if I wanna play Renegade, I should be able to do some pretty 'bad (and stupid ) things'.

You save the Council and they repay you how? I say steal the Destiny Ascension! (my crew of killers can take on Geth, Collectors, Thresher Maws, Mercs...what's a few thousand Asari? )

[Jarcander]

Because I adore Kelly and she deserves 6000 credit meal.

*Shephard takes Kelly to have dinner*

Kelly: Rubert is just a fantastic cook! I love what he did to this fish!
Shephard: It's fresh too.

*afterwards*

Kelly: I noticed you have a tank in your cabin. Would you like me to feed your fishes?
Shephard: Sure.

*goes feed the fishes*

Kelly: Shephard! All your fishes were dead.
Shephard: Yup, that's because I never fed them.
Kelly: And the tank had dead fish floating around!
Shephard: And that's because I didn't bother cleaning out the dead fish. *silently* Rubert does...
Kelly: Poor fishies...
Shephard: Aww, come here for a hug. (+2 renegade)

[Ajspeed]

TIM: Shepard its been two years People change Your Love Intrest has moved on
Shepard: so what are my choices now?
TIM: Im sending you the Dossiers of Biotic Super **** with a guys name and a **** load of Tatoos, Miranda you already know with her Skin tight suit And Tali.
Shepard: Got any Assari i like them?
TIM: well i do have the Dossier for Justicar
Shepard: will she put out?
TIM: Is that all you care about?
Shepard: Pretty much i mean if you sending me on a suicide mission i want to sample the best of everything
TIM: Maybe it was a mistake to bring you back?
Shepard: too late now **** and im keeping the ship

[Ajspeed]

The Few seconds after the Normandys been blown up and Shepard is spaced.

Shepard: Well atleast the crew is safe... oh look there abit of the hull.
Oh ****! Having trouble....breathing... Think something is... Wrong
Shepard falls down to the planet, Joker watching from his escape pod
Joker: Well im screwed

[fateofman]

Shepard: Time to show our new teeth!

Joker: give em hell girl! *presses button*

*thanix cannon fires and misses*

Shepard:.... what the hell!? the guns havent been calibrated properly!? GARRUS

Garrus over the com: can it wait a minute? im in the middle of some calibrations....

Shepard: damn I hate you Garrus....

*collector ship cuts normandy in half*

[Aphillio]

Wrex: Shepard

Shepard: Wrex

Wrex: Shepard

Shepard: Wrex

Wrex: Shepard

Shepard:Wrex

Wrex: Shepard

Shepard: Wrex

Wrex: Wrex

Shepard: Shepard

Wrex: I win this time, *****!

[stillnotking]

SHEPARD: Quick Jacob, throw that krogan off the cliff behind him!
JACOB: Commander, you know I can only move things toward me.
SHEPARD: Oh yeah, I keep forgetting.  Because it doesn't make any f***ing sense.

[Ajspeed]

Sheppard over intercom: Joker! Status Report on the Collector ship!?
Garrus:Can it wait im in the middle of some Calibrations?
Sheppard: wait Garrus?
Grunt:Battlemaster i have everything i could possibly need
Sheppard: Grunt? what are you doing on this Channel wheres Joker?
EDI: This is the Command Infomation Center
Shepard: No EDI put joker on!
Kelly: You have a new Message at your Terminal Commander
Sheppard: Oh screw you all
Mordin: I am the very model of scientist Salarian!

[Ajspeed]

Oh and Gabey5 Loved all your one you have an uncanny knack for making a hilarious scenario

[HalfBlindRat]

Shephard and the team walks the Eclipse base. Elnora the Merc, who just hours ago recorded a message stating how exited she is about getting her first kill and how AWESOME it was, is crying hysterically and failing at hiding.

Shephard (knowing what they do to get those uniforms):Hmm no one here, going crazy again

Elnora makes a noise (again, failing at hiding)

Shephard: Hah, knew IT!

Elnora (crying) plz im not like the others.. (going for the gun)

Shephard: Owww.. Im so Paragon I dont care you just pulled a gun on me, you are hot.. ehh I mean I can see your a good person..

Elnora: Ehh.. Okay.. So what do you want? (lowering the gun, after realising Shephard is a tool)

Shephard: Yo.. Ehh I mean info, yes I want info. The what should you call it, where it is? Ship? Where!!!

Elnora: You mean the scary ****, Ardat Yakshi. Amm, Im just going to say I have no idea and I can't tell you anything usefull so just let me go.

Shephard: Yes, Arab Yakbhul, Now ehh.. Amm..

Elnora (taking the gun with her): Thank you Shephard, I promise ill be good.

Shephard gains +5 paragon and looses 100 intelligence: I did good

Later, listening to the record

Shephard: (Facepalm)

[stillnotking]

UVENK: This is an outrage!  This false krogan cannot undergo the Rite --
SHEPARD: *headbutts Uvenk*
SHAMAN: Ah ha ha ha!  I like this human!  He understands!
SHEPARD: *headbutts Shaman*
GRUNT: Shepard, are you sure you should --
SHEPARD: *headbutts Grunt*
MIRANDA: WTF, Shepard?
SHEPARD: Can't... stop... too much... awesome... BRING MORE KROGAN, MY FOREHEAD HUNGERS!