741 réponses à ce sujet

[catelee2u]

Yours made me laugh most Llandaryn

[snatchmo]

sorry Llandaryn,



didn't realize there were 19 pages on the thread, (my short attention span sucks).

[Timerider42]

Gabey5 wrote...
Shepard: "Hey, Council, I killed another Reaper."
Council: "Shepard, we already told you, the Reapers are a myth."
Shepard: "No, seriously, I did. It was through the Omega 4 relay. I just got back. It was pretty awesome."
Council: "No one can go through the Omega 4 relay and return."
Shepard: "I just did."
Council: "No you didn't."
Shepard: "I have proof! Look at... at... ah, ****."
Council: "Did you bring back the missing colonists?"
Shepard: "Um... no, they were turned into goo to make this big humanoid Reaper. Which I killed."
Council: "Yes. Of course."
Shepard:
"No, really, it was huge. And there were like, two hundred thousand
colonists in these big pod-like things. All I could save was my crew,
though. They're OK."
Council: "And all in the employ of Cerberus. Their testimony is suspect."
Shepard: "Look, I can't kill every Reaper right here at the ****ing Citadel! Look at the audio, video, and navigational logs!"
Council: "Those can be easily falsified."
Shepard: "SO CAN A ****ING MP3 FILE BUT YOU TOOK THAT AS EVIDENCE!"
Council: "It was just a big geth or something."
Shepard: *disconnects*
Anderson:
"See what I have to deal with? Thanks a lot, Shepard. 'Captain Anderson
will represent humanity!' Oughtta be representin' my retired black ass
on a beach somewhere sipping pina coladas, with some asari sugar-momma.
I knew I should have turned in my retirement papers the minute your
white *** sashayed onto the Normandy. Momma told me when I got
commissioned, 'David, you stay away from those white women,' but would
I listen?"
Shepard: "I should go."
Anderson: "Don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out, devil-woman. Oh wait... you don't have one."

Lol. Makes a good point.

[Llandaryn]

cruc1al wrote...

So who's that other person then?

This post

Indicating this forum and this user being the origin of the material.

Gabey5 then attempts to pass himself off as the original poster.

catelee2u wrote...

Yours made me laugh most Llandaryn

This one thinks that you are a strange individual...

snatchmo wrote...

sorry Llandaryn,

didn't realize there were 19 pages on the thread, (my short attention span sucks).

No problem. I just believe in credit where credit is due. And whilst most people in this thread are churning out their own material, Gabey5 wasn't.

I mean, the only thing that could have made it worse was if he was also screwing the other guy's wife whilst pretending to be him.

Man, if I was Supreme Overlord, I would fire every liar into the sun via rocket.

Not that I'm weird or anything...

Back to the thread, then.

[Sailears]

omgwtfbbqhax wrote...

Before entering the Omega 4 relay
Joker: Shepard, all the crew have been taken by the Collectors!!!"
Shepard: "But why is all the rum gone?"

After entering...
The Collecter ship and the drone start shooting the Normandy.
Shepard: "Stop Blowing Holes in My Ship"

Haha.

[Timerider42]

Moblin_DK wrote...

Shepard: The collector base is going to blow! Joker get us out of...
Shepard: EDI where's Joker?
EDI: Mr. Moreau's currently location is the ships medical bay.
Shepard: Why?
EDI: Mr. Moreau is currently undergoing treatment for a shattered collarbone, broken wrist and a complex fracture of his right arm.
Shepard: When did this happen? Did the Collectors board the ship while we where infiltrating the base?
EDI: Negative commander. Mr. Moreau's injuries where sustained from firring a assault riffle in an attemt to cover your escape. For some reason the other trained and proven warriors who returned before you, where not acceptable for this task.
Shepard: ???

This brings up a very good point. Everyone that returned can't hold them off but the pilot can. And now no-one is piloting when they need it most. Makes as much sense as Ashley getting paralized then seeing her magically unharmed and unobducted an hour later.

[Timerider42]

LOLandStuff wrote...

Tali: Shepard, we're being overwhelmed.
Garrus: Shepard, they're coming from every direction.
Tali: Shields are down!
Garrus:Shepard, they're shooting at us.
Shepard: Can it wait? I'm in the middle of some hacking.

Damn straight.

[DeltaIV]

Llandaryn wrote...

cruc1al wrote...

So who's that other person then?

This post

Indicating this forum and this user being the origin of the material.

Gabey5 then attempts to pass himself off as the original poster.

catelee2u wrote...

Yours made me laugh most Llandaryn

This one thinks that you are a strange individual...

snatchmo wrote...

sorry Llandaryn,

didn't realize there were 19 pages on the thread, (my short attention span sucks).

No problem. I just believe in credit where credit is due. And whilst most people in this thread are churning out their own material, Gabey5 wasn't.

I mean, the only thing that could have made it worse was if he was also screwing the other guy's wife whilst pretending to be him.

Man, if I was Supreme Overlord, I would fire every liar into the sun via rocket.

Not that I'm weird or anything...

Back to the thread, then.

Thanks much!

I've posted the stuff on the gamefaqs thread at http://deltaiv.blogspot.com/.

Most of it's orginal to me; the parts that aren't are given credit.

The threads on Gamefaqs are locked at 500 posts, and eventually are archived and deleted.

[Chaplin_M]

Ash: i thought you were dead
Shep: hey babe whats happenin', congratz on you promotion
Ash: how can you be so casual, i loved you and thought you were dead why haven't you tried to contact me?
Shep: ok 3 things:
1. i was in a f***ing coma until a week ago,
2. Anderson wouldn't tell me where you where, and
3.WTF you expect me to contact you when you never gave me your damn e-mail address ya good thinking there dumb-ass

Modifié par Chaplin_M, 22 février 2010 - 09:24 .

[Vaenier]

Timerider42 wrote...

Moblin_DK wrote...

Shepard: The collector base is going to blow! Joker get us out of...
Shepard: EDI where's Joker?
EDI: Mr. Moreau's currently location is the ships medical bay.
Shepard: Why?
EDI: Mr. Moreau is currently undergoing treatment for a shattered collarbone, broken wrist and a complex fracture of his right arm.
Shepard: When did this happen? Did the Collectors board the ship while we where infiltrating the base?
EDI: Negative commander. Mr. Moreau's injuries where sustained from firring a assault riffle in an attemt to cover your escape. For some reason the other trained and proven warriors who returned before you, where not acceptable for this task.
Shepard: ???

This brings up a very good point. Everyone that returned can't hold them off but the pilot can. And now no-one is piloting when they need it most. Makes as much sense as Ashley getting paralized then seeing her magically unharmed and unobducted an hour later.

if you have your captive's escort squadmate back on the ship and everyone else on your squad dies, does shep still sacrifice hiself because only joker is there to save him?

[aaniadyen]

Llandaryn wrote...

No problem. I just believe in credit where credit is due. And whilst most people in this thread are churning out their own material, Gabey5 wasn't.

I mean, the only thing that could have made it worse was if he was also screwing the other guy's wife whilst pretending to be him.

Man, if I was Supreme Overlord, I would fire every liar into the sun via rocket.

Not that I'm weird or anything...

Back to the thread, then.

Yeah, that was pretty low. I ignore his posts now just because he did that.

[nov_pl]

Well, i'm gonna read this thread every day morning - it makes my day

[gamerdude916]

someone should make a mass effect 2 speed up video with these lines

[gamerdude916]

Moblin_DK wrote...

Shepard: The collector base is going to blow! Joker get us out of...
Shepard: EDI where's Joker?
EDI: Mr. Moreau's currently location is the ships medical bay.
Shepard: Why?
EDI: Mr. Moreau is currently undergoing treatment for a shattered collarbone, broken wrist and a complex fracture of his right arm.
Shepard: When did this happen? Did the Collectors board the ship while we where infiltrating the base?
EDI: Negative commander. Mr. Moreau's injuries where sustained from firring a assault riffle in an attemt to cover your escape. For some reason the other trained and proven warriors who returned before you, where not acceptable for this task.
Shepard: ???

favorite one, next to the goggles quote

[Jarcander]

*once again crew has been taken by the Collectors*

Miranda: You lost the entire crew and damned near lost the ship!?
Joker: Blaa blaa break my arm on them or what?
EDI: We did everything we could, Jeff.
Miranda: And don't start me about unsh...
Shepard: Nooo! Damned Collectors!
Joker: Well duh. So EDI totally saved me and the ship...
Shepard: Would you listen for a minute?! We need to follow them right now thru the Omega 4 Relay!
Miranda: Of course, we need to hurry to rescue the crew.
Shepard: Damn the crew! Collectors stole all the booze and my Fornax magazine! I have no idea how they even found it.
Joker: Riiight. If Collectors have technology to locate humans no matter how well they hide, what stops them running a few scans to find all the booze and pornography?
Miranda: It should be rather simple. Just scan the loft and ignore rest of the ship.
Shepard: So anyway, lives are at stake. Lets get to it people! *silently* And its just an alien magazine ffs...

Modifié par Jarcander, 22 février 2010 - 01:44 .

[ABCoLD]

Grunt: "I... AM... KROGAN!"

Shepard: ... "Cool."

Grunt: "I... AM... KROGAN!"

Shepard: "Yeah, heard you the first time."

Grunt: "I... AM... KROGAN!"

Shepard: "Getting a little annoying, cut it out."

Grunt: "I... AM... KROGAN!"

Shepard: "Oh for the love of pe... this is madness!"

Grunt: "This is Tuchanka!"

Shepard: *headbutt*

Grunt: "... yeah, sorry about that, I had that coming."

Shepard: "No problem, let's just finish up this mission and head back to the ship."

Mordin: "Enemies on our flank!"

Grunt: "I... AM... KROGAN!"

Shepard: "Oh for the love of... you're spending some time alone in your tube when we get back to the ship!"





(I'm sure someone has done it already but I'm not reading through 20 pages.)

[CardonT]

Krogan: Ugh... Asari are so... squishy. Where are you supposed to get a decent grip?

Shepard: I know where, and I...

Liara: Asari Commando?

Shepard: ...won't tell you. *sigh*

[Computron2000]

*Shepard fights and opens the 2nd heat valve*
Tali: There's some kind of obstruction. I can't go on
Shepard: Ok
*Shepard fights and opens the 3rd heat valve*
Tali: Its getting hot in here.
Shepard: Relax
*Shepard fights and opens the 4th heat valve*
Tali: Hurry shepard, i'm being cooked alive
Shepard: Don't worry, be happy!
*Shepard opens the 1st heat valve*
Shepard: See Tali, i got it covered!
Tali: Damn it Shepard, i could have been killed! It wasn't like you had a timer or something that showed how cooked i was!


Miranda: Shepard , do you read?
Shepard: I read you. Where are you?
Miranda: We're at the door but we are pinned down and taking heavy fire. Hurry!
Shepard: Get this door open now!
*Grunt looks at the panel and fiddles with the controls*
Grunt: Arrrrr! Krogan charging!
*Mission failed*



Shepard: Ground team do you read?
Jack: I'm tagging them as they come but feel free to call for an exit at any time!
Shepard: Get back to the Normandy! I'm about to blow this base to hell!
Garrus: Shepard, its Garrus. How are we supposed to get to the Normandy? The area outside the door is crawling with collectors!
Shepard: I don't know, Miranda and Jacob are with you. You three should be able to work something out!
Grunt: Arrrrrr! Krogan charging!
Legion: Pathing error removed. Recommend immediate dispatch.
Garrus: Nevermind Shepard, we'll meet you on the Normandy
*in the background* Jacob: Just keep charging Grunt, we're right behind you!

Modifié par Computron2000, 22 février 2010 - 02:23 .

[Lucy Glitter]

Gabey5 wrote...

Council: "Those can be easily falsified."
Shepard: "SO CAN A ****ING MP3 FILE BUT YOU TOOK THAT AS EVIDENCE!"
Council: "It was just a big geth or something."
Shepard: *disconnects*
Anderson:
"See what I have to deal with? Thanks a lot, Shepard. 'Captain Anderson
will represent humanity!' Oughtta be representin' my retired black ass
on a beach somewhere sipping pina coladas, with some asari sugar-momma.
I knew I should have turned in my retirement papers the minute your
white *** sashayed onto the Normandy. Momma told me when I got
commissioned, 'David, you stay away from those white women,' but would
I listen?"
Shepard: "I should go."
Anderson: "Don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out, devil-woman. Oh wait... you don't have one."

Holy moly, that was the most hilarious thing I have ever read.

Turian Counsellor: "Ah, yes, 'Reapers'-"
Shepard: "Ah, yes, ****s. *disconnects*"
...
Shepard: "... I really suck at diplomacy."

Modifié par Lucy_Glitter, 22 février 2010 - 02:16 .

[Excalceo]

Shepard: Zaeed, going into this final mission, I just want you to know...if anyone has to die, I hope it's you.
Zaeed: That's okay Commander, I was free DLC anyways.
(They hug)
Shepard: I hate you so much Zaeed.
Zaeed: I know.

Shepard: Barkeep!  I need a drink.
Barkeep: Here you go.
Shepard: Thanks.
Barkeep: Aren't you gonna take your helmet off?
Shepard: Nah, I got this.
Barkeep: No seriously, I insist...
(Shepard attempts to drink and spills the beverage all over the himself and the floor).
Shepard: Give me another.
Barkeep: Oh Goddamit! I'm gonna have to clean that up now!
Shepard: I said give me another.
Barkeep: Not until you take the helmet off.
Shepard: Fine.
(Attempts to remove the helmet but is unsucessful)
Shepard: Oh God, it's stuck!
Barkeep: What?
Shepard: IT'S STUCK!
Barkeep: Oh God.
Thane: STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!
Shepard: WHAT? OH GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!
(Shepard slips on the previously spilled, falls and suffocates).
*CRITICAL MISSION FAILURE*

Modifié par Excalceo, 22 février 2010 - 02:43 .

[Katosu]

@ Llandaryn ;
 
If I worship you as a supreme overlord, will it count towards getting that goal fulfilled? 

Modifié par Katosu, 22 février 2010 - 02:49 .

[primero holodon]

Sheperd: so... let me get this straight... I left with all my squad members... and it wasn't until we were gone that you noticed the IFF was transmitting a signal to the collecers
EDI: yes
sheperd: but we've had the IFF for several days now...
EDI: yes
Sheperd:and now my entire crew is gone save Joker...
EDI: yes
Sheperd: this dosent seem suspicious to you?
EDI: I'm sorry my response appears to be blocked
Sheperd: wait.. i though Joker connecting you to the ship removed your blocks
EDI: logging you out sheperd.
Sheperd: sigh... somehow I get the feeling that this mission is gonna be a disaster

[Mikenator700]

Excalceo wrote...

Shepard: Zaeed, going into this final mission, I just want you to know...if anyone has to die, I hope it's you.
Zaeed: That's okay Commander, I was free DLC anyways.
(They hug)
Shepard: I hate you so much Zaeed.
Zaeed: I know.

Shepard: Barkeep!  I need a drink.
Barkeep: Here you go.
Shepard: Thanks.
Barkeep: Aren't you gonna take your helmet off?
Shepard: Nah, I got this.
Barkeep: No seriously, I insist...
(Shepard attempts to drink and spills the beverage all over the himself and the floor).
Shepard: Give me another.
Barkeep: Oh Goddamit! I'm gonna have to clean that up now!
Shepard: I said give me another.
Barkeep: Not until you take the helmet off.
Shepard: Fine.
(Attempts to remove the helmet but is unsucessful)
Shepard: Oh God, it's stuck!
Barkeep: What?
Shepard: IT'S STUCK!
Barkeep: Oh God.
Thane: STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!
Shepard: WHAT? OH GOD, I CAN'T BREATHE!!!
(Shepard slips on the previously spilled, falls and suffocates).
*CRITICAL MISSION FAILURE*

Freakin' lol'd.

[MikeFL25]

Excalceo wrote...

Shepard: Zaeed, going into this final mission, I just want you to know...if anyone has to die, I hope it's you.
Zaeed: That's okay Commander, I was free DLC anyways.
(They hug)
Shepard: I hate you so much Zaeed.
Zaeed: I know.

HAHAHAHA!!!  Epic!  This is exactly how I feel about Zaeed!

[ABCoLD]

Lucy_Glitter wrote...

Holy moly, that was the most hilarious thing I have ever read.

Turian Counsellor: "Ah, yes, 'Reapers'-"
Shepard: "Ah, yes, ****s. *disconnects*"
...
Shepard: "... I really suck at diplomacy."

lol, I bet censored word rhymed with sticks.