741 réponses à ce sujet

[cna007]

 (Just after telling the human looters to stop, or your kill them, on Omega) 

Jacob: Hey Shepard I see a wall safe we can bypass to get some credits, do you want me to try to open it?

Human looter1: Hey I thought you just told us don't...... (renegade interrupt)

(Shepard fires gun twice both looters fall, dead)

Garrus: Wasn't that a little extreme commander?

Shepard: They had it coming now were is the safe, I need more credits to buy upgrades

[Llandaryn]

It's not looting if Shepard does it. It's "appropriating" or "gathering evidence".

[nov_pl]

Eclipse merc: I've got nothing more to say to you.
Shepard: Pushes him out of window How about: "I'm commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store on the Citadel"

Modifié par nov_pl, 03 mars 2010 - 09:53 .

[Malysoun]

Miranda: Hopefully it'll stay dead this time.

Joker (on intercomm): You'd better get back up here commander.

Miranda (on intercomm): We're about to clear the debris field.

Shepard: Miranda, why are you on intercomm? You're standing right next to me.

Miranda (on intercomm): What are you talking about Shepard?

Shepard: I mean you're standing right next to me, in my squad I took to deal with the occulus.

Miranda (on intercomm): Just get back up here, once we get Chakwas back on-board maybe she should have a look at you.

Shepard:

[Dijohn17]

*Shepard awakes to find a big breakfast waiting for him*

Shepard: Awesome the crew must have made me this as a thank you gift for me saving their asses, I really wanted a Xbox 3000 but this will work.

*Eats his hasbrowns*

Shepard: Oooooo this hasbrowns are delicious!!!

*Eats sunny side up eggs*

Shepard: And these eggs are whats up!

*Drinks chocolate milk*

Shepard: Wow! This is the best chocolate milk ever!!!

*Finishes meal and is sastified*

Shepard: Now that hit the spot.... oh wait what is this?

*Looks at cake*

Shepard: Who brings someone cake for breakfast? Oh well can't pass this up!

*Just as Shepard brings a piece of cake to his mouth*

Cake:  ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!!!

Modifié par Dijohn17, 05 mars 2010 - 03:33 .

[Lilitv]

^

The cake is a trap!

[oneword]

Lilitv wrote...

^
The cake is a trap!

The cake is a lie

[Lilitv]

oneword wrote...

Lilitv wrote...

^
The cake is a trap!

The cake is a lie

Have to change it to fit context

[oneword]

^ thought so, but I just had to add this line 

[Timerider42]

ODST 3 wrote...

Nightfire78 wrote...


*Shepard visits Zaeed in the cargo hold*
*Shepard accidentally looks at Zaeed's rifle*
*Zaeed goes on and on about his rifle wanting to kill people. Meanwhile, Shepard plays with the trash compactor*
*Shepard accidentally glances at Zaeed's trophy Krogan helmet*
*Zaeed goes on and on about killing Krogans*
*Shepard looks at the trash compactor*
*Shepard looks at Zaeed*
*Shepard looks back at the trash compactor*

Miranda: "Have you seen Zaeed lately?"
Shepard: "Ah yes, 'Zaeed'. He went out for some fresh air."

Zing!

Miranda: "But there's no a- ...oh...."

[MassAffected]

I AM Commander Sheppard...and I wouldn't change a thing.

[Timerider42]

*On Horizon*
Shepard: We need to stop the Collectors from....from.... Ooo...*is distracted by computer, starts hacking*.
Garrus: Commander, why are you stealing from the colonists we are trying to help?
Shepard: They won't notice.
Garrus: But there's one right there *points to frozen colonist*.
Shepard: You don't mind, do you?
Frozen colonist: ...
Shepard: See? It's fine.


Possible humorous ending:
Frozen colonist: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

[Dijohn17]

bump

[stillnotking]

Timerider42 wrote...

Frozen colonist: ...
Shepard: See? It's fine.

[LOLandStuff]

Mass Effect and Star Trek



Shepard: This ship sucks. Normandy is way better. It's mine.

Grunt: I don’t like it here.

Garrus: Reminds me of Flux. Feeling lucky?

Red Shirt: Run for your lives, the borgs have boarded.

Shepard: The what?

Borg: Prepare to be assimilated!

Red Shirt: Stay as far from them as possible.

Shepard: Bald? Small lights everywhere? Kill it, it’s a husk! The ship is being infested with husks.

Red Shirt: Are you daft? Weapons won’t do any good? Nu-uh!

Borg: Resistance is futile!

Garrus: Shepard, our weapons don’t work on them anymore.

Grunt: Let’s hit them!

Shepard: New plan. Find rudimentary weapons and HIT THEM!

Red Shirt: Uh, hello? We don’t have that?

Shepard: What? Why not?

Red Shirt: Excuse me? Are you kidding me? We’re evolved and educated now. Violence is not an option and we’re no longer primitive to use spears and sticks.

Shepard: What the hell is wrong with you? Your life depends on them.

Red Shirt: And bath in useless violence? Hello? That is so beneath us.

Garrus: Shepard, he’s a red shirt!

Red Shirt: Oh my god…I am being assimilated…help me!

Shepard: Forget about that idiot. Another new plan. Improvise! Hit them with your weapons and go straight for the head and whatever.

Picard: Such violence! Look at them and how they indulge themselves in it. So barbaric.

Data: But they are winning.

Picard: Not the point Data. If you want to be like a human you can’t lose your humanity and act like a savage.

Data: But they fight for their lives and saving yours in the process.

Picard: One day you’ll understand.

[sumof all fear]

Counciler: Shepard, help, some giant ships are attacking the citadel. just like sovrign
Shepard: how many times have i been wrong?
Counciler: shepard, this is hardly the time
Shepard: HOW MANY TIMES?!
Counciler: fine shepard, you were right, now help! please!
Shepard: Somehow, I told you so, just dosn't quite say it!

Modifié par sumof all fear, 08 mars 2010 - 01:13 .

[Onyx Jaguar]

LOLandStuff wrote...

Mass Effect and Star Trek

Shepard: This ship sucks. Normandy is way better. It's mine.
Grunt: I don’t like it here.
Garrus: Reminds me of Flux. Feeling lucky?
Red Shirt: Run for your lives, the borgs have boarded.
Shepard: The what?
Borg: Prepare to be assimilated!
Red Shirt: Stay as far from them as possible.
Shepard: Bald? Small lights everywhere? Kill it, it’s a husk! The ship is being infested with husks.
Red Shirt: Are you daft? Weapons won’t do any good? Nu-uh!
Borg: Resistance is futile!
Garrus: Shepard, our weapons don’t work on them anymore.
Grunt: Let’s hit them!
Shepard: New plan. Find rudimentary weapons and HIT THEM!
Red Shirt: Uh, hello? We don’t have that?
Shepard: What? Why not?
Red Shirt: Excuse me? Are you kidding me? We’re evolved and educated now. Violence is not an option and we’re no longer primitive to use spears and sticks.
Shepard: What the hell is wrong with you? Your life depends on them.
Red Shirt: And bath in useless violence? Hello? That is so beneath us.
Garrus: Shepard, he’s a red shirt!
Red Shirt: Oh my god…I am being assimilated…help me!
Shepard: Forget about that idiot. Another new plan. Improvise! Hit them with your weapons and go straight for the head and whatever.
Picard: Such violence! Look at them and how they indulge themselves in it. So barbaric.
Data: But they are winning.
Picard: Not the point Data. If you want to be like a human you can’t lose your humanity and act like a savage.
Data: But they fight for their lives and saving yours in the process.
Picard: One day you’ll understand.

Ha!

[Gabey5]

Timerider42 wrote...

*On Horizon*
Shepard: We need to stop the Collectors from....from.... Ooo...*is distracted by computer, starts hacking*.
Garrus: Commander, why are you stealing from the colonists we are trying to help?
Shepard: They won't notice.
Garrus: But there's one right there *points to frozen colonist*.
Shepard: You don't mind, do you?
Frozen colonist: ...
Shepard: See? It's fine.


Possible humorous ending:
Frozen colonist: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL.

............

[Akinra]

Dijohn17 wrote...

*Shepard awakes to find a big breakfast waiting for him*

Shepard: Awesome the crew must have made me this as a thank you gift for me saving their asses, I really wanted a Xbox 3000 but this will work.

*Eats his hasbrowns*

Shepard: Oooooo this hasbrowns are delicious!!!

*Eats sunny side up eggs*

Shepard: And these eggs are whats up!

*Drinks chocolate milk*

Shepard: Wow! This is the best chocolate milk ever!!!

*Finishes meal and is sastified*

Shepard: Now that hit the spot.... oh wait what is this?

*Looks at cake*

Shepard: Who brings someone cake for breakfast? Oh well can't pass this up!

*Just as Shepard brings a piece of cake to his mouth*

Cake:  ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL!!!

Chocolate milk for breakfast?

[timedrake32]

lol Epic win

[cruc1al]

Kelly: Jack's tattoos are beautiful. As colorful as her past, I'm sure.
Shepard: You mean she's kind of hot but she's a bit*h?
Kelly: No that's not what I ... Anyway, how may I help you, Commander?
Shepard: How is my crew?
Kelly: You have unread messages at your private terminal.
Shepard: You've already told me that and I read them already. But I wanted to know how my crew is.
Kelly: Nothing right now *shakes head*.
Shepard: Yeoman Kelly Chambers, hello? Are you listening?
Kelly: You can call me Kelly.
Shepard: Let's keep this professional. You're fired.

Modifié par cruc1al, 08 mars 2010 - 03:26 .

[ianouseley123]

 Im laughing so hard right now:lol:

[Jarcander]

cruc1al wrote...

Shepard: How is my crew?
Kelly: You have unread messages at your private terminal.
Shepard: You've already told me that and I read them already. But I wanted to know how my crew is.

And here's my enternal frustration with Kelly in text format. Kind of interesting how she tries to keep Shepard out of the loop all the time. Maybe things on the Normandy are more desperate than we know.

[Dark_Caduceus]

Jack: I will DESTROY you!

Shepard: If you knew how many times I had to hear that before...

[Maginipowfire]

C-Sec Officer: That Hanar refuses to listen to reason, why can't it act in an orderly and lawful manner?

Shepard: Because it's a big stupid jellyfish!

Preaching Hanar: This one is standing right here.