Admiral Hackett: The crew of the Normandy is a highly classified special operations unit comprised of the best men and women from around the universe, ranging from krogan warriors, quarian technicians, salarian doctors, geth machines, human bounty hunters, asari commandos, and even biotic prisoners. Offically, this unit does not even exist. However, few know that the truth about the crew of the normandy -- that they fight a secret war, as the first and last line of defense against the sentient race of starships known as the reapers that seek to harvest all life in the milky way. Whenever there is trouble, the crew of the normandy, with its brave commander shephard, will be there to stop it.
Shephard and crew: YO JOE!
(couldn't resist)
If You Were Commander Shepard...............!!!
Débuté par
Gabey5
, févr. 10 2010 04:45
Retour en haut
#652
Posté 02 avril 2010 - 04:03
VutaatVerd
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pft its Men in Black.MasterCommander145 wrote...
Admiral Hackett: The crew of the Normandy is a highly classified special operations unit comprised of the best men and women from around the universe, ranging from krogan warriors, quarian technicians, salarian doctors, geth machines, human bounty hunters, asari commandos, and even biotic prisoners. Offically, this unit does not even exist. However, few know that the truth about the crew of the normandy -- that they fight a secret war, as the first and last line of defense against the sentient race of starships known as the reapers that seek to harvest all life in the milky way. Whenever there is trouble, the crew of the normandy, with its brave commander shephard, will be there to stop it.
Shephard and crew: YO JOE!
(couldn't resist)
now I could not resist.
#653
Posté 02 avril 2010 - 06:01
ForcedDj7
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Shepard: I'm gathering up a team, a bunch of elite soldiers and biotics, and engineers. We gonna be doing one thing, and one thing only. Destroyin Reapers, SOUND OFF.
Crew: YES SIR/MA'AM/SHEPARD.
Crew: YES SIR/MA'AM/SHEPARD.
#654
Posté 13 avril 2010 - 03:11
Lilitv
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Presenting the first pictorial in this thread:
#655
Posté 16 avril 2010 - 04:08
nov_pl
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Ya ya ya Monty PythonGabey5 wrote...
The Illusive Man: "There are some who call me... TIM."
"
Don't ya think guys that Gabey deserves he's own funny character in ME3? ^.^
Modifié par nov_pl, 16 avril 2010 - 04:09 .
#656
Posté 17 avril 2010 - 07:20
Lilitv
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Harbinger: Turians, you were considered... primitive.
Customs Turian: You Reapers are all racist!
Customs Turian: You Reapers are all racist!
#657
Posté 18 avril 2010 - 08:03
Archontor
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Gabey5 wrote...
Shepard: "I could help you work out some stress..."
Garrus: "How so?"
Shepard: "I could test your reach... you could test my flexibility...."
Everyone playing the game: "****!"
Shepard: "Hey, Council, I killed another Reaper."
Council: "Shepard, we already told you, the Reapers are a myth."
Shepard: "No, seriously, I did. It was through the Omega 4 relay. I just got back. It was pretty awesome."
Council: "No one can go through the Omega 4 relay and return."
Shepard: "I just did."
Council: "No you didn't."
Shepard: "I have proof! Look at... at... ah, ****."
Council: "Did you bring back the missing colonists?"
Shepard: "Um... no, they were turned into goo to make this big humanoid Reaper. Which I killed."
Council: "Yes. Of course."
Shepard:
"No, really, it was huge. And there were like, two hundred thousand
colonists in these big pod-like things. All I could save was my crew,
though. They're OK."
Council: "And all in the employ of Cerberus. Their testimony is suspect."
Shepard: "Look, I can't kill every Reaper right here at the ****ing Citadel! Look at the audio, video, and navigational logs!"
Council: "Those can be easily falsified."
Shepard: "SO CAN A ****ING MP3 FILE BUT YOU TOOK THAT AS EVIDENCE!"
Council: "It was just a big geth or something."
Shepard: *disconnects*
Anderson:
"See what I have to deal with? Thanks a lot, Shepard. 'Captain Anderson
will represent humanity!' Oughtta be representin' my retired black ass
on a beach somewhere sipping pina coladas, with some asari sugar-momma.
I knew I should have turned in my retirement papers the minute your
white *** sashayed onto the Normandy. Momma told me when I got
commissioned, 'David, you stay away from those white women,' but would
I listen?"
Shepard: "I should go."
Anderson: "Don't let the door hit you on the *** on the way out, devil-woman. Oh wait... you don't have one."
you do realise he's mixed race not exclusively black right
#658
Posté 18 avril 2010 - 09:29
Archontor
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sagevallant wrote...
TekFanX wrote...
Anyone noticed, that with all the callibrations Garrus has done ot the normandy's weaponry, Shepard should be clearly able to snipe the whole reaper-fleet away before they enter the galaxy, even if they are shielded?
Actually, a completely powered-down fleet--no need for life support since they're machines, y'know?--would be virtually IMPOSSIBLE to find in empty space. Since the only realistic way to find ships in space would be their emissions. Which makes stealth spaceships pretty impractical; Bioware actually did it right with the heat-sink system... that's the best way. And by "best" I mean "scientifically improbable". Like stealth bombers being almost invisible to radar but not the eye, it's about evading the detection systems.
It's like the "space is cold" thing... yeah, it's cold. But think about this; are you going to die faster in 30 degree Fahrenheit water or 30 degree air? Water. Much, much faster. Why? The density of water molecules vs air molecules; water transmits heat much better. You NEED the molecules to strip the heat from you. So, while you actually will freeze to death in space... you're going to die from depressurization and the lack of air first.
your avatar is a picture of bio-tech armor created by a race that is'nt even shaped like it's wearer who are modified ancient space beings twisted by a robot cuthulu which is also fairly improbable and yet you find it impossible for the normandy to have high powered radar or something .also note that they managed to find data on harbinger thus they may have reaper co-ordinates i'm sorry to be so rude in adressing you
Modifié par Archontor, 24 mai 2010 - 11:34 .
#659
Posté 19 avril 2010 - 02:03
Dean_the_Young
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Well, not necessarily if I were Shepard, but rather...
---
Decision Time
---
The Human Reaper has been dropped. The Illusive Man calls.
TIM: Shepard, congratulations. You've done the impossible, and now you've come to the end.
Shepard: Shove it, bastard. I didn't do it for you. I still haven't forgiven you for -insert list-.
TIM: Be that as it may, you have a decision ahead of you, one only you can make. EDI has told me that you could set the base reactor to make a pulse, destroying all the Collectors but leaving the base, and it's technology, intact. It would be the single biggest advancement for the galaxy since the discovery of the Mass Relays, and a key stone in opposing the Reapers on equal grounds.
Shepard: And I bet you want me to keep the base for Cerberus, right? Well, stuff that I-
TIM: No.
Shepard: I- What?
TIM: No, Shepard, destroy the base. Too many human colonists have died for this monstrosity.
Shepard: What... what about the Reaper technology? Don't you want that?
TIM: It's not worth the soul of our species, Shepard. Better that it be destroyed, to honor the departed.
Shepard: But the technology could give us an edge against the Reapers. I thought you wanted that- Oh, I get it.
TIM: No, I sincerely think the base should go.
Shepard: You just don't want the Council to get this base.
TIM: What? No, I-
Shepard: This technology would ensure Citadel superiority for at least ten thousand years. You just don't want aliens being equal to humans, and beyond your ability to dominate.
TIM: I-
Shepard: Oh, I know how you think TIM! You'd rather risk the destruction of Galactic Civilization than allow aliens access to this technology! No matter what, I'm saving this base now!
TIM: Shepard, don't! Miranda, I order you to-
-Miranda betrays, the base is preserved, and Shepard high tails it out of there.-
Shepard: Joker, set course for the Citadel. I'm going to drag that Turian counciler here myself to prove that the Reapers exist. Suck on that, Illusive Man!
-Alone and back in his office, the Illusive Man watches as the Normandy jumps away. Soon after it leaves, multiple ships jump through the Omega Relay, surrounding the Collector Base. They all have Cerberus logos, and TIM allows himself a deep draw on his cigar.-
TIM: Whatever it takes, Shepard. Whatever it takes.
---
Decision Time
---
The Human Reaper has been dropped. The Illusive Man calls.
TIM: Shepard, congratulations. You've done the impossible, and now you've come to the end.
Shepard: Shove it, bastard. I didn't do it for you. I still haven't forgiven you for -insert list-.
TIM: Be that as it may, you have a decision ahead of you, one only you can make. EDI has told me that you could set the base reactor to make a pulse, destroying all the Collectors but leaving the base, and it's technology, intact. It would be the single biggest advancement for the galaxy since the discovery of the Mass Relays, and a key stone in opposing the Reapers on equal grounds.
Shepard: And I bet you want me to keep the base for Cerberus, right? Well, stuff that I-
TIM: No.
Shepard: I- What?
TIM: No, Shepard, destroy the base. Too many human colonists have died for this monstrosity.
Shepard: What... what about the Reaper technology? Don't you want that?
TIM: It's not worth the soul of our species, Shepard. Better that it be destroyed, to honor the departed.
Shepard: But the technology could give us an edge against the Reapers. I thought you wanted that- Oh, I get it.
TIM: No, I sincerely think the base should go.
Shepard: You just don't want the Council to get this base.
TIM: What? No, I-
Shepard: This technology would ensure Citadel superiority for at least ten thousand years. You just don't want aliens being equal to humans, and beyond your ability to dominate.
TIM: I-
Shepard: Oh, I know how you think TIM! You'd rather risk the destruction of Galactic Civilization than allow aliens access to this technology! No matter what, I'm saving this base now!
TIM: Shepard, don't! Miranda, I order you to-
-Miranda betrays, the base is preserved, and Shepard high tails it out of there.-
Shepard: Joker, set course for the Citadel. I'm going to drag that Turian counciler here myself to prove that the Reapers exist. Suck on that, Illusive Man!
-Alone and back in his office, the Illusive Man watches as the Normandy jumps away. Soon after it leaves, multiple ships jump through the Omega Relay, surrounding the Collector Base. They all have Cerberus logos, and TIM allows himself a deep draw on his cigar.-
TIM: Whatever it takes, Shepard. Whatever it takes.
#660
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 12:11
Meshakhad2
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Battle of the Citadel: Round 2
Ascension Commander: It's an entire fleet of Reapers!
Turian Commander: Prepare for battle!
Salarian Commander: There's too many of them!
Human Commander: ****, they've boarded the Citadel!
Ascension Commander: We're getting another signal!
Human Commander: It's the Normandy!
Joker: Normandy here. What's your situation?
Turian Commander: We're getting overwhelmed!
Joker: I copy. Normandy to Ilos. We are legion, I repeat, we are legion.
(Relay opens. Geth and quarian ships begin pouring through.)
Admiral Gerrel: This is it, everyone. Focus fire on the Reapers. The geth will coordinate targeting. Keelah se'lai.
Geth: Keelah se'lai.
Captain Bailey: This is C-SEC! We're getting murdered out here! Wait a minute - what's the Relay Monument doing?
(Relay opens. Shepard emerges)
Anderson: Shepard! Thanks for coming.
Shepard: How many hostiles on the Citadel.
Anderson: At least ten million, going by C-SEC's estimates.
Shepard: ****.
Anderson: *puts on armor* We're going to need backup.
Shepard: Got it covered. *hits radio* Ilos Control. Sing the songs of war, I repeat, sing the songs of war.
(Relay opens)
Anderson: What was that?
Shepard: Backup.
(Rachni and krogan start pouring out of the Relay onto the Presidium.)
Ascension Commander: It's an entire fleet of Reapers!
Turian Commander: Prepare for battle!
Salarian Commander: There's too many of them!
Human Commander: ****, they've boarded the Citadel!
Ascension Commander: We're getting another signal!
Human Commander: It's the Normandy!
Joker: Normandy here. What's your situation?
Turian Commander: We're getting overwhelmed!
Joker: I copy. Normandy to Ilos. We are legion, I repeat, we are legion.
(Relay opens. Geth and quarian ships begin pouring through.)
Admiral Gerrel: This is it, everyone. Focus fire on the Reapers. The geth will coordinate targeting. Keelah se'lai.
Geth: Keelah se'lai.
Captain Bailey: This is C-SEC! We're getting murdered out here! Wait a minute - what's the Relay Monument doing?
(Relay opens. Shepard emerges)
Anderson: Shepard! Thanks for coming.
Shepard: How many hostiles on the Citadel.
Anderson: At least ten million, going by C-SEC's estimates.
Shepard: ****.
Anderson: *puts on armor* We're going to need backup.
Shepard: Got it covered. *hits radio* Ilos Control. Sing the songs of war, I repeat, sing the songs of war.
(Relay opens)
Anderson: What was that?
Shepard: Backup.
(Rachni and krogan start pouring out of the Relay onto the Presidium.)
#661
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 12:38
Dr. Peter Venkman
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Meshakhad2 wrote...
Battle of the Citadel: Round 2
Ascension Commander: It's an entire fleet of Reapers!
Turian Commander: Prepare for battle!
Salarian Commander: There's too many of them!
Human Commander: ****, they've boarded the Citadel!
Ascension Commander: We're getting another signal!
Human Commander: It's the Normandy!
Joker: Normandy here. What's your situation?
Turian Commander: We're getting overwhelmed!
Joker: I copy. Normandy to Ilos. We are legion, I repeat, we are legion.
(Relay opens. Geth and quarian ships begin pouring through.)
Admiral Gerrel: This is it, everyone. Focus fire on the Reapers. The geth will coordinate targeting. Keelah se'lai.
Geth: Keelah se'lai.
Captain Bailey: This is C-SEC! We're getting murdered out here! Wait a minute - what's the Relay Monument doing?
(Relay opens. Shepard emerges)
Anderson: Shepard! Thanks for coming.
Shepard: How many hostiles on the Citadel.
Anderson: At least ten million, going by C-SEC's estimates.
Shepard: ****.
Anderson: *puts on armor* We're going to need backup.
Shepard: Got it covered. *hits radio* Ilos Control. Sing the songs of war, I repeat, sing the songs of war.
(Relay opens)
Anderson: What was that?
Shepard: Backup.
(Rachni and krogan start pouring out of the Relay onto the Presidium.)
****ing amazing.
#662
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 01:07
Meshakhad2
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TIM: Shepard, I ordered you not to destroy the Collector base!
Shepard: Hey, I don't take orders from you. In fact, as of this moment, you take orders from me.
TIM: What do you mean, Shepard?
Shepard: Before I left, I gave my girlfriend my password for the Cerberus network. You know, the one I have unrestricted clearance on. She did some digging, and now I have enough information to completely dismantle Cerberus.
TIM: You can't dismantle Cerberus! What about all we've done for humanity!
Shepard: I took that into account. So I contacted the Council. In light of your efforts against the Reapers, they're willing to allow Cerberus to continue... as a Council agency.
TIM: The Council doesn't believe in the Reapers!
Shepard: No, that was just the turian. The data we've acquired was able to convince the salarian and asari representatives. You'll get an office on the Presidium. Refuse, and you will be held accountable for all of Cerberus' crimes.
TIM: Shepard, let me be blunt. You know nothing about me, or where I am. You can't force me to do anything.
Shepard: Look outside your window.
TIM: *looks behind him, sees the Destiny Ascension* How the hell...
Shepard: My girlfriend is a very good information broker. Speaking of which, got any information on the Shadow Broker?
(might as well suggest that this follows the previous one, but it's also a standalone)
Liara: Shadow Broker, you die now!
Shadow Broker: I don't think so *raises biotic barrier*
(Liara starts flinging him around like a rag doll)
Grunt: Shepard. Shouldn't we intervene?
Shepard: Why? Liara can handle herself. *munches popcorn* Besides, he had it coming.
Grunt: What is that?
Mordin: Popcorn. Human food made by subjecting corn seeds to intense heat. Little nutritional value. Often eaten while watching some form of entertainment. Not part of standard Cerberus field rations. Where did you get it?
Shadow Broker: I COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE IN MORE PAIN!
Shepard: I had Gardner make it before I left. Figured this would be a good show. *offers Grunt some*
Shadow Broker: I WAS WRONG! *dies*
(Liara stands there atop his dead body, biotic field glowing)
Shepard: That is quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen.
Shepard: Hey, I don't take orders from you. In fact, as of this moment, you take orders from me.
TIM: What do you mean, Shepard?
Shepard: Before I left, I gave my girlfriend my password for the Cerberus network. You know, the one I have unrestricted clearance on. She did some digging, and now I have enough information to completely dismantle Cerberus.
TIM: You can't dismantle Cerberus! What about all we've done for humanity!
Shepard: I took that into account. So I contacted the Council. In light of your efforts against the Reapers, they're willing to allow Cerberus to continue... as a Council agency.
TIM: The Council doesn't believe in the Reapers!
Shepard: No, that was just the turian. The data we've acquired was able to convince the salarian and asari representatives. You'll get an office on the Presidium. Refuse, and you will be held accountable for all of Cerberus' crimes.
TIM: Shepard, let me be blunt. You know nothing about me, or where I am. You can't force me to do anything.
Shepard: Look outside your window.
TIM: *looks behind him, sees the Destiny Ascension* How the hell...
Shepard: My girlfriend is a very good information broker. Speaking of which, got any information on the Shadow Broker?
(might as well suggest that this follows the previous one, but it's also a standalone)
Liara: Shadow Broker, you die now!
Shadow Broker: I don't think so *raises biotic barrier*
(Liara starts flinging him around like a rag doll)
Grunt: Shepard. Shouldn't we intervene?
Shepard: Why? Liara can handle herself. *munches popcorn* Besides, he had it coming.
Grunt: What is that?
Mordin: Popcorn. Human food made by subjecting corn seeds to intense heat. Little nutritional value. Often eaten while watching some form of entertainment. Not part of standard Cerberus field rations. Where did you get it?
Shadow Broker: I COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE IN MORE PAIN!
Shepard: I had Gardner make it before I left. Figured this would be a good show. *offers Grunt some*
Shadow Broker: I WAS WRONG! *dies*
(Liara stands there atop his dead body, biotic field glowing)
Shepard: That is quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen.
#663
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 01:19
Dr. Peter Venkman
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Meshakhad2 wrote...
TIM: Shepard, I ordered you not to destroy the Collector base!
Shepard: Hey, I don't take orders from you. In fact, as of this moment, you take orders from me.
TIM: What do you mean, Shepard?
Shepard: Before I left, I gave my girlfriend my password for the Cerberus network. You know, the one I have unrestricted clearance on. She did some digging, and now I have enough information to completely dismantle Cerberus.
TIM: You can't dismantle Cerberus! What about all we've done for humanity!
Shepard: I took that into account. So I contacted the Council. In light of your efforts against the Reapers, they're willing to allow Cerberus to continue... as a Council agency.
TIM: The Council doesn't believe in the Reapers!
Shepard: No, that was just the turian. The data we've acquired was able to convince the salarian and asari representatives. You'll get an office on the Presidium. Refuse, and you will be held accountable for all of Cerberus' crimes.
TIM: Shepard, let me be blunt. You know nothing about me, or where I am. You can't force me to do anything.
Shepard: Look outside your window.
TIM: *looks behind him, sees the Destiny Ascension* How the hell...
Shepard: My girlfriend is a very good information broker. Speaking of which, got any information on the Shadow Broker?
(might as well suggest that this follows the previous one, but it's also a standalone)
Liara: Shadow Broker, you die now!
Shadow Broker: I don't think so *raises biotic barrier*
(Liara starts flinging him around like a rag doll)
Grunt: Shepard. Shouldn't we intervene?
Shepard: Why? Liara can handle herself. *munches popcorn* Besides, he had it coming.
Grunt: What is that?
Mordin: Popcorn. Human food made by subjecting corn seeds to intense heat. Little nutritional value. Often eaten while watching some form of entertainment. Not part of standard Cerberus field rations. Where did you get it?
Shadow Broker: I COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE IN MORE PAIN!
Shepard: I had Gardner make it before I left. Figured this would be a good show. *offers Grunt some*
Shadow Broker: I WAS WRONG! *dies*
(Liara stands there atop his dead body, biotic field glowing)
Shepard: That is quite possibly the hottest thing I have ever seen.
MOAR
#664
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 02:43
Meshakhad2
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I'll try to come up with some more in a bit - I have a test shortly.
#665
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 05:38
Orion1836
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EDI: Shepard, I took the liberty of researching your family line.
Shepard: Oh? Did you find anything interesting?
EDI: Are you familiar at all with the works of Chuck Norris?
Shepard: Oh? Did you find anything interesting?
EDI: Are you familiar at all with the works of Chuck Norris?
#666
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 07:00
Sajuro
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-rescuing the crew from the collector base-
Kelly to Shepard: aren't you a little short to be a collector?
Shepard: Fine, stay here and get liquidated you stuck up **** -shoves Kelly back into the pod and seals it-
Kelly: aaaaaaaaaah -banging against pod as she is liquidated-
Kelly to Shepard: aren't you a little short to be a collector?
Shepard: Fine, stay here and get liquidated you stuck up **** -shoves Kelly back into the pod and seals it-
Kelly: aaaaaaaaaah -banging against pod as she is liquidated-
#667
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 09:36
CalJones
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Kelly: You have unread messages, Commander
Shepard: Yes, I just checked them. One links to a site featuring "hot krogan babes." Another is advertising something to make me "hard as a turian all night long" and the fifth is an invitation to join "Alliance Reunited."
Miranda: About that second message, Shepard... I forwarded it to you.
Shepard: Wait... what?
Miranda: We had to wake you before you were...ready, Shepard. Some parts of you are not yet fully functional.
Shepard: Are you saying that the little Commander can't salute?
Miranda: I'm afraid not, Shepard. We had to get your essential functions online first.
Shepard: But...but...it is essential! There are four women on this ship alone who want the full Shepard experience. What am I supposed to do about that?
Miranda: The second message, Shepard.
Shepard: Damnit. Chakwas, order some of this "hard as a Turian" stuff.
Garrus: Sounds like someone needs calibrating, Shepard.
Shepard: Yes, I just checked them. One links to a site featuring "hot krogan babes." Another is advertising something to make me "hard as a turian all night long" and the fifth is an invitation to join "Alliance Reunited."
Miranda: About that second message, Shepard... I forwarded it to you.
Shepard: Wait... what?
Miranda: We had to wake you before you were...ready, Shepard. Some parts of you are not yet fully functional.
Shepard: Are you saying that the little Commander can't salute?
Miranda: I'm afraid not, Shepard. We had to get your essential functions online first.
Shepard: But...but...it is essential! There are four women on this ship alone who want the full Shepard experience. What am I supposed to do about that?
Miranda: The second message, Shepard.
Shepard: Damnit. Chakwas, order some of this "hard as a Turian" stuff.
Garrus: Sounds like someone needs calibrating, Shepard.
#668
Posté 18 mai 2010 - 10:57
gethspy
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im commander shepard, and this is my least favorite store on the citadel
#671
Posté 19 mai 2010 - 09:28
Goro234
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Adrian Shephard: Im corpral shephard, and i came first
#672
Posté 17 juin 2010 - 06:02
Meshakhad2
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Aboard the SSV Einstein...
Einstein XO: Captain, we've detected another ship. It's a frigate.
Hannah Shepard: Is it Alliance?
Einstein XO: No. But the profile's human. Looks like an SR-class frigate.
Einstein Conn: Only twice as large.
Hannah Shepard: Is it squawking an IFF?
Einstein XO: One moment... yes. I am receiving a Citadel code.
Einstein Conn: Captain, we're being hailed.
Commander Shepard: Normandy to Einstein, request permission to dock.
Hannah Shepard: For what purpose, Normandy?
Commander Shepard: Well, I have someone on board who claims to be Captain Hannah Shepard's daughter, and hasn't seen her in over two years. She also has a gift-wrapped package and a bottle of wine...
Hannah Shepard: Permission granted.
Commander Shepard: Happy birthday, Mom.
Einstein XO: Captain, we've detected another ship. It's a frigate.
Hannah Shepard: Is it Alliance?
Einstein XO: No. But the profile's human. Looks like an SR-class frigate.
Einstein Conn: Only twice as large.
Hannah Shepard: Is it squawking an IFF?
Einstein XO: One moment... yes. I am receiving a Citadel code.
Einstein Conn: Captain, we're being hailed.
Commander Shepard: Normandy to Einstein, request permission to dock.
Hannah Shepard: For what purpose, Normandy?
Commander Shepard: Well, I have someone on board who claims to be Captain Hannah Shepard's daughter, and hasn't seen her in over two years. She also has a gift-wrapped package and a bottle of wine...
Hannah Shepard: Permission granted.
Commander Shepard: Happy birthday, Mom.
#673
Posté 02 juillet 2010 - 10:42
DeltaIV
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Joker: "Commander, I'm picking up some strange readings. Like, really strange, off the damn charts. It's coming from an old mine."
Shepard: "What do you mean, off the charts? Switch from linear to logarithmic."
Joker: "Oh. Um... lemme... OK, yeah. 3.2e14."
Shepard: "What? 3.2e14 of what? Meters? Watts? Kilograms?"
Joker: "Just... you know, strangeness."
Shepard: "What the hell are you talking about, strangeness? There's no SI unit of measure for 'strangeness.' What sensor are you using?"
Joker: "I don't know, I just pressed some glowy buttons and some lines came up."
Shepard: *disconnects*
Joker: "All right, back to Galaxy of Fantasy."
Shepard: "OK, here's the plan. Bounding individual rushes, one moving, two overwatch. Keep to cover as much as you can. We need to get to the beacon and--"
Jenkins: "Two thumbs up, let's do this! CORPORRAAAAAAL JEEEEENKIII--"
Geth: PEW PEW PEW
Jenkins: "Arrrgh!"
Kaidan: "We've gotta save him!"
Shepard: "Hold your position! I saw this once on Youtube. If we go in after him, the whole raid will wipe."
Kal'Reegar: "So how do we take down that Colussus?!"
Shepard: "Standard protocol with armature class units is to use the main gun on the Mako to take out its kinetic barriers, use the coaxial machine gun until it's at below 10% health, and then get out and finish it with small arms fire, you know? Double the experience that way."
Kal'Reegar: "Well if we had a Mako or a Hammerhead instead of just Veera here, that might be an option!"
Shepard: "Don't worry! I'll just get close with my infiltration cloak/biotic charge! It doesn't have a melee attack, and there's only a certain number of geth that can spawn! If I get close enough fast enough, they'll all be up front shooting at the wall you're standing behind! Stay down! I'll go rescue Tali!"
Kal'Reegar: "I have no idea what you're talking about, but OK!"
(After Shepard dies)
Shepard: "Dear diary, today I was a jackass Renegade, and Tali led a mission that got everyone but her killed or wounded. Dear diary, today we were killed by geth. It was the best day ever."
(RIP Firefly)
http://www.gamefaqs....&topic=53316613
http://deltaiv.blogspot.com/
Shepard: "What do you mean, off the charts? Switch from linear to logarithmic."
Joker: "Oh. Um... lemme... OK, yeah. 3.2e14."
Shepard: "What? 3.2e14 of what? Meters? Watts? Kilograms?"
Joker: "Just... you know, strangeness."
Shepard: "What the hell are you talking about, strangeness? There's no SI unit of measure for 'strangeness.' What sensor are you using?"
Joker: "I don't know, I just pressed some glowy buttons and some lines came up."
Shepard: *disconnects*
Joker: "All right, back to Galaxy of Fantasy."
Shepard: "OK, here's the plan. Bounding individual rushes, one moving, two overwatch. Keep to cover as much as you can. We need to get to the beacon and--"
Jenkins: "Two thumbs up, let's do this! CORPORRAAAAAAL JEEEEENKIII--"
Geth: PEW PEW PEW
Jenkins: "Arrrgh!"
Kaidan: "We've gotta save him!"
Shepard: "Hold your position! I saw this once on Youtube. If we go in after him, the whole raid will wipe."
Kal'Reegar: "So how do we take down that Colussus?!"
Shepard: "Standard protocol with armature class units is to use the main gun on the Mako to take out its kinetic barriers, use the coaxial machine gun until it's at below 10% health, and then get out and finish it with small arms fire, you know? Double the experience that way."
Kal'Reegar: "Well if we had a Mako or a Hammerhead instead of just Veera here, that might be an option!"
Shepard: "Don't worry! I'll just get close with my infiltration cloak/biotic charge! It doesn't have a melee attack, and there's only a certain number of geth that can spawn! If I get close enough fast enough, they'll all be up front shooting at the wall you're standing behind! Stay down! I'll go rescue Tali!"
Kal'Reegar: "I have no idea what you're talking about, but OK!"
(After Shepard dies)
Shepard: "Dear diary, today I was a jackass Renegade, and Tali led a mission that got everyone but her killed or wounded. Dear diary, today we were killed by geth. It was the best day ever."
(RIP Firefly)
http://www.gamefaqs....&topic=53316613
http://deltaiv.blogspot.com/
Modifié par DeltaIV, 02 juillet 2010 - 10:44 .
#674
Posté 03 juillet 2010 - 01:10
thetruefreemo
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- Members
- 229 messages
Casa Representative: "So... Commander Shpard. How can Casa be of assistance to you?"
Shepard: "Okay, I want you to instal a giant machine gun that fires nukes onto the Normandy. Make it two."
Casa Rep: "Okaaaaaaaayy. And what would you use it for?"
Shepard: "Killing Reapers."
Casa Rep: "Be serious Commander."
Shepard: "I mean mercenaries."
Casa Rep: "That'll be 15000 Credits *Cough* and your liver *cough*"
Shepard: "What was that last part?"
Shepard: "Okay, I want you to instal a giant machine gun that fires nukes onto the Normandy. Make it two."
Casa Rep: "Okaaaaaaaayy. And what would you use it for?"
Shepard: "Killing Reapers."
Casa Rep: "Be serious Commander."
Shepard: "I mean mercenaries."
Casa Rep: "That'll be 15000 Credits *Cough* and your liver *cough*"
Shepard: "What was that last part?"
#675
Posté 13 juillet 2010 - 05:21
xlI ReFLeX lIx
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- Members
- 1 383 messages
Shepard: Want an indorsment?
Store employee 1: That would be great! Just speak into my console...
Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.
(Shep leaves and goes to the next store)
Shepard: Hey, want an indorsment?
Store emplyee 2: Aw! Your Shepard! Just speak into my console here....
Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.
Store employee 1: Hey! WTF! I thought this was your favorite store!
Store employee 2: Shepard! Are you playing us!?!
Shepard: Oh my god! Look, I'm Commander Shepard!!! I saved the Citadel!! I just want a f***ing discount!!
Store employee 1: That would be great! Just speak into my console...
Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.
(Shep leaves and goes to the next store)
Shepard: Hey, want an indorsment?
Store emplyee 2: Aw! Your Shepard! Just speak into my console here....
Shepard: I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel.
Store employee 1: Hey! WTF! I thought this was your favorite store!
Store employee 2: Shepard! Are you playing us!?!
Shepard: Oh my god! Look, I'm Commander Shepard!!! I saved the Citadel!! I just want a f***ing discount!!
