741 réponses à ce sujet

[Gabey5]

Lilitv wrote...

Shepard: *Wakes up with a terrible stomachache* The Mess Sergeant must have forgotten to wash his hands... *Runs to the elevator and goes down to the third level for the restrooms*
*Ten minutes later, Shepard returns to the cabin and decides to check the private terminal when the wall behind slid open to reveal a bathroom*
Shepard: EDI! All this time and you never bothered to tell me I had my own prviate bathroom?!
EDI: You never asked.

this is the truth

[Lilitv]

Shepard: Garrus! What a pleasant surprise!

Garrus: Oh hey, Shepard. I was totally expecting you.

Shepard: Why is it that I sound more surprised to see an old friend that you do when you see an old friend who was supposed to be dead?

Garrus: I knew it was you when I first saw you through the rifle scope.

Shepard: But you shot me.

Garrus: I didn't want to raise suspicion, and if I really wanted to kill you I could.

Shepard: Why is it so hard for you to admit that you are surprised to see me?

Garrus: I'm Batman.

[mjwoltsknar]

Shepard: I finally managed to defeat the Collectors, but at the cost of half my team - including the love of my life - my entire crew, my friendship with Ashley, several thousand colonists, and my reputation. I'm going upstairs to cry.

*upstairs*

Shepard: ****. My fish died.

[thethain]

Illusive Man: We've found where the Collectors may strike next.

Shepard: Wait, you said they are the only ones able to use the Omega Relay?

Illusive Man: Well yes, but that's not what I am talking about now.

Shepard: Well if they are going to strike anywhere they are coming, and leaving thru the Omega Relay, just set an ambush right outside and let them come.

Illusive Man: But we can be the first to investigate the..

Shepard: I'll be at Omega Relay, already got a new gun to take em down. Gotta go before they get past it.

[Lilitv]

mjwoltsknar wrote...

Shepard: I finally managed to defeat the Collectors, but at the cost of half my team - including the love of my life - my entire crew, my friendship with Ashley, several thousand colonists, and my reputation. I'm going upstairs to cry.
*upstairs*
Shepard: ****. My fish died.

Poor Shepard.

[Amethyst Deceiver]

Gabey5 wrote...

Garrus: "I'm not what you'd call a good Turian. First I left the
military, because when a good Turian hears a bad order, he follows it!
And that ain't me! Then I joined C-Sec. But I couldn't deal with the
red tape, man! I gotta do things MY way! Then we went after that
salarian doctor. I was going to kill him! But then you convinced me to
turn him into the authorities. Then... you died... and I started a
vigilante group! Yeah! I AM the law! But then Sidonis said "Hey Garrus
meet me way over on the other side of Omega, I have to tell you
something, I got a job" and I said OK! Because telling him to come back
to base, or tell me over the radio, or taking my team with me to a job
would have been... um... well anyway, my whole team got killed, and I
was trapped, but you saved me! Then I was going to KILL Sidonis for
what he did, and you convinced me not to."

Shepard: "Wow, Garrus, it
really sounds like you're made of fail. I mean, seriously, everything
you've done, you've made a royal ****-up of. And everything you take a
stand on, I've just told you to do something else, and you've done it,
and thanked me for it. I hope I don't die after this mission. I'd hate
to see how you handle being on your own again, without me to dictate
your actions and morals to you."

LOLLL!

aww, poor garrus

[stuchiu]

Crewmate Hawthorne: Eating a sandwich

Shepard: ZOMBIE PUNCH!!!!

Modifié par stuchiu, 10 février 2010 - 05:57 .

[SgtPotato]

*Jack and Miranda arguing each other*

Shepard: Why don't you both kiss and make up?!

Jack: Actually, that's not a bad idea! *tongue-kissing Miranda*

Shepard: Holy ****! Joker, get the camera!

[jowsm]

Best thread eva... keep it up y'all!

[Sturmwulfe]

Gabey5 wrote...


Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "Yeah, Grunt, we know. It's kind of hard to miss. Stop yelling from behind cover, it helps the enemy find us."
Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "DUDE seriously. You don't need to yell that every time you kill a drone."
Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "I! AM! HUMAN!"
Garrus: "I! AM! TURIAN!"
Mordin: "SALARIAN!"
Jacob: "I! AM! ALSO! HUMAN!"
Legion: "We. Are. Geth."
Shepard: "See how freakin' annoying that is?!"

This... is priceless. I can just picture that entire scene going through my head and everyone ignoring fighting just to mock Grunt.

[mjwoltsknar]

Shepard: Illusive Man, you led me and my team into a trap. You tipped off the Collectors about Ash, didn't you?

Illusive Man: Well, yes, but -

Shepard: And you led us to the abandoned Collector ship on purpose, didn't you? It was clearly a trap, and if it hadn't been for EDI, we would have all died. You did that, didn't you?

Illusive Man: Yes, Shepard, but -

Shepard: You're helping the Collectors, aren't you? You're trying to get me killed, so that the Reapers can take over the galaxy. Those forum posters were right! You're insan-

Illusive Man: I've had it with your disingenuous assertions.

[Gabey5]

Sturmwulfe wrote...

Gabey5 wrote...


Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "Yeah, Grunt, we know. It's kind of hard to miss. Stop yelling from behind cover, it helps the enemy find us."
Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "DUDE seriously. You don't need to yell that every time you kill a drone."
Grunt: "I! AM! KROGAN!"
Shepard: "I! AM! HUMAN!"
Garrus: "I! AM! TURIAN!"
Mordin: "SALARIAN!"
Jacob: "I! AM! ALSO! HUMAN!"
Legion: "We. Are. Geth."
Shepard: "See how freakin' annoying that is?!"

This... is priceless. I can just picture that entire scene going through my head and everyone ignoring fighting just to mock Grunt.

yeah  that would be too funny to see in game

[Frotality]

TIM-  "commander, we've finally got a break. the turians have disabled-"

shep- "shut up for a sec. what happened to wilson? he was a traitor right? why? did you ever even investigate this threat to your 4billion credit investment?"

TIM " well, umm...i kinda...Miranda killed him, thats the end. but anyway, this collector ship-"

shep- "what?! you never stopped to consider that maybe he was hired? maybe he wasnt the only friggin one involved in the plot to kill me? that maybe they might try again?! THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET SOME INFO ON THE DAMN SUBJECT?!"

TIM- "hey, i trust in your ability to handle tough situations commander. do you think i would really send you into a collector trap knwoingly if i didnt think you coul- oh sh*t, you didnt hear tha-"

shep- "whoops. looks like we lost the connection joker. set a course for Ilos, were gonna plug in some new batteries for vigil and end this crap with the council. How this Illusive man ever made it past 10$ with his god awful investment protection skills ill never know."

TIM- "-damn, i knew i shouldve had them install a control chip before i let loose my epic plan to possibly kill shepard and everyone else on the station because he needed a tutorial section... come to think of it, giving him full control over the SR-2 wasnt so great an idea either... wait did i leave the AI core overidde protocol unlocked? ah damnit, now any cripple could just waltz in and disable the cerberus database blocks for EDI...ugh, i think maybe i should just leave this stuff to miranda."

endgame-

TIM- "shepard wait! you dont have to destroy the base; granted you should as that technology has blown up in the face of everyone whose studied it for the past 37 billion years...including cerberus once already...wait where am i going with this..."

shep- "your crazy. your also 10 minutes from arrest. got proof from vigil, backup from the council, and salarian STG already has your location pinned. the base goes boom."

TIM- "......OH RITE! wai****? whatever, i remember...wait....lost it....ah, leave it all to miranda, better idea....Miranda! stop shepard from blowing up the station for reasons you probably know better than me."

Miranda- "shove it. shepard is right."

TIM- " GAWD DAMNIT!!! how can my plan of leaving everything completely in the hands of other people not work?!

[GtarTravis]

*After Knocking Down Human Reaper*



*TIM Appears as a hologram on Miranda's omni-tool"



TIM: Shepard, you've done the imposs-



Shepard: Holy crap we have reception out here?!?!



TIM: This is state-of-the-art tech-



Shepard: But we're surrounded by black holes and radiation! Light can't even escape a black hole, but your signal comes in just fine! If you can just transmit a simple message to me from whereever you are, why couldn't you just find this collector base in the first place and tell me?



TIM: Well you see....



Shepard: And how did you just know that I just killed the Reaper and am not in the middle of a firefight?! Is it coincidence that you called when there is a lull between the next boss battle?



TIM: Look just save the base so we can use the tech-



Shepard: *Headbutt*

[Teddyrulz]

Epic Thread.

[HandOfJudg3m3nt]

forget red vs blue this should be made into a show!

[RhythmlessNinja]

Shepard: This is my favorite store on the citadel.



4th store clerk: Oh really...?

[Abirn]

Commander shepard, you are charged with bludgeoning the citadel council to death. How do you plead?



Shepard: Guilty.

[Lilitv]

Shepard: I am Commander Shepard and this is my favourite thread on the forums.

[Aynslie]

LOL this is classic!

[RhythmlessNinja]

Tali: Go for the optics! Go for the optics!

Shepard: My Eyes!!! WTF Tali?!

Tali: Oh Kellah! I'm so sorry let me take a lo-

Shepard: Get the f*** off me! You're a damn screw up you know that?! *blindly gets out of cover*

Tali: I'm sor- SHEPARD!!

Shepard: Come here Tali...I just want you to know.... (got sniped)

Shepard: That I always hated you...(dies)

Tali: ...

Modifié par RhythmlessNinja, 10 février 2010 - 07:13 .

[jimmyjoefro]

RhythmlessNinja wrote...

Tali: Go for the optics! Go for the optics!

Shepard: My Eyes!!! WTF Tali?!

Tali: Oh Kellah! I'm so sorry let me take a lo-

Shepard: Get the f*** off me! You're a damn screw up you know that?! *blindly gets out of cover*

Tali: I'm sor- SHEPARD!!

Shepard: ...I just want you to know.... (got sniped)

Shepard: That I always hated you...(dies)

Tali: ...

Hey, no being cruel to Tali 

[ElectAcclaimer]

Awesome thread!

[Gabey5]

thanks.

[Dr. Peter Venkman]

After ME2: I'm kinda tired. Think I'll go home now.

Modifié par Dr. Peter Venkman, 10 février 2010 - 08:16 .