Well, I am going to list the steps I did with my Human Mage, female of course.
First, make sure he is the one you want to woo. Trust me on this because all the gifts you will find will go to him. He has many little conversations you can have with him that may go up only +1 or so.
Second, knowing how to talk to him is important. Joking with him is fine but do not do so on something that is really important to him such as intimate moments or about Duncan.
So ... here we go. Please read no further if you still want to figure it out yourself! SPOILER BELOW!
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1. When we met in Ostagar, I started talking to him to begin getting approval, saving after each one conversation I did with him, reloading if it didn't work. Remember some conversations do not give approval.
2. When reaching Lothering, I found a gift to give him which I did, and anything Dog dug up I gave to him .. even stuff I bought. Even moving it +1 each time helped.
3. Do Redcliffe first once you get to the world map. This can help with a few things on getting approval with Alistair faster.
4. By this point you should be able to ask to
kiss him. If so you're doing good.
5. When he gets to the point about wanting to meet his siter in Denerim DO IT! This seems ot be very important for some reason to move the romance along (at least from how I did it)
6. DON'T ask him to your tent when you get the choice. Trust me ....
7. When he cares for you enough, he will give you a rose. Take it .. it's worth it.
8. There will be a point when you are 100 with him and AFTER the rose giving and AFTER meeting his sister that he will initiate wanting to sleep with him that night.
It is all worth it, trust me ladies and gents. I really suggest saving before each time you need to go to Camp and before any conversations with Alistair. The different choices you have to say and his responses are hilarious and adorable.
Now to see if I can FRAPS certain points up, unless someone beats me to it!.