Nevertheless at the end of the Landsmeet, Anora will already have proclaimed a male warden that she is about to marry as "My husband, the king consort, general of my armies, and the hero who will save Ferelden from this blight." She also will have ordered the nobles present at the Landsmeet to "gather your forces and await the king consort's command". Finally the Landsmeet quest completion entry in the journal will refer to the male noble warden as "king consort". So there's a bit of inconsistency in the game regarding the title that's used for your character if he or she marries the new ruler.
Anora is clearly worried that her new husband will use his popularity, his formidable powerbase, and the fact that he's her husband to strip her of power. Her dialogs clearly demonstrate this . And she has good reason. There is no greater threat to a ruler than a heroic general who is wildly popular both with the people and also with the troops he's lead. And her hold on power at the end of Blight is anything but solid.
She was born a commoner, he was born to the most prestigous family in the land next to the King himself. She's the daughter of a warhero from 30 years ago who has just been executed for treason and selling his own people into slavery. The warden is the war hero who just saved every man, woman & child in Fereldan from certain death. Where the former King had died in battle against the Darkspawn, her father battled the other nobles to increase his own power while the Darkspawn gobbled up the Kingdom, and she sat around twiddling her thumbs plotting to depose her father, the warden unified Ferelden against the blight, brought in outside allies, and then lead the men, elves, dwarves, etc.. that fought under him to victory and possibly even slaying the archdemon himself and surviving (thanks to Morrigan's witchery). And given what they faced on the field, and the fact that they came through it alive, I don't doubt that the army would support him over Anora, just as so many of them would have supported Loghain over Anora previously. War binds soldiers together, and to the man who leads them through hell and gets them out alive. Compared to that being an excellent and much-loved administrator for 5 years under someone else's name just doesn't compare. If played well, he already has the support of most of the Bannorn, and his brother is the most powerful noble in the kingdom. Given the circumstances, if he really wanted to be King it wouldn't be particularly difficult for him to strip her of power and rule himself, and she rightfully fears that possibility.
Female human nobles have it easier as mentioned by quite a few here. Alistair is much more inclined to share power, or even let the female human noble rule in his stead depending on the circumstances. So there is no real need to resort to such tactics. Heaven forbid, you might make him pout...
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In all my playthroughs except my male human noble I've convinced him to take the throne. Basically he's my bud and I trust him more than I do Anora. In the human noble playthrough which was my first time through, he wasn't hardened, clearly didn't want it, and my character was interested, so I bit the bullet and married Anora instead. And to her credit, she didn't seem that bad in that particular playthrough. In other playthroughs I felt very differently however...
