Warming to Miranda (Support Thread) 2.0
Débuté par
DarthReavus
, févr. 18 2010 08:40
#2751
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:18
Wow, it is really quiet here...I knew I shouldn't have slept for those extra 2 hours...
#2752
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:21
I LOVE this pic because it so true about my first playthrough:
#2753
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:23
Ha ha, I agree Kalen. All it took was those 3 words and I was sold.
#2754
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:32
We're slipping again! I WILL tell Miranda and she will be sad again! I don't want Miranda to be sad. It makes me sad when she is sad
#2755
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:34
I guess our fan fic wore everyone out.
#2756
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:35
I haven't read the fic yet (still waking up) but I'll get to it soon.
#2757
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:37
Lol. Could be true!
And oh my god. I love that shot of Miranda. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! Haha
But really... I'm getting tired... I was counting on this thread to keep me awake. This thread has a habit of growing by about 7 to 10 pages as I sleep then slows down to 5 or 6 while I'm up haha.
And oh my god. I love that shot of Miranda. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside! Haha
But really... I'm getting tired... I was counting on this thread to keep me awake. This thread has a habit of growing by about 7 to 10 pages as I sleep then slows down to 5 or 6 while I'm up haha.
#2758
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:38
Maybe these guys will give us something to talk about...

;-)

;-)
#2759
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:39
Haha. Ahhh. I think we should start a petition to have them in ME3.
#2760
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:40
A FotC support thread...I wonder if it would compete with the Tali thread...
Modifié par andysilv87, 23 février 2010 - 08:40 .
#2761
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:42
I doubt anything could compete with the Tali thread at this point...
#2762
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:44
Treu, true...not that it matters, as long as we continue to spread the Miri loooooooove BioWare wil hopefully take notice...we're technically on page 426 after all.
#2763
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:46
MegWithAMouth wrote...
I doubt anything could compete with the Tali thread at this point...
I think we can hang with the Tali fans
#2764
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:48
Look at all these Miri avatars on one page...I am awake right?
#2765
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:48
Indeed. I think we're the second largest character support thread around, aren't we? Even being in the top 5 would be enough to get Bioware's attention, I would think.
#2766
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:49
You're awake Andy... but, unfortunately, I'm not. I'm really tired now. 2 AM for me. I'm sorry folks but... Good Night. I'm sure Miri will understand.
#2767
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:51
Night, Kalen.
#2768
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:52
G'night, Kalen. Sleep well.
#2769
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:52
Night meg and yeah we are second to Tali nation
#2770
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:55
Hi all,
I've limited time due to work, but I just have to comment on Rath's and Meg's fanfic for a minute or two. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have some (hopefully constructive) criticism (I always have, even with first-class established writers), but let me say first I'm very much impressed. It was fun to read, and that's always the most important thing, isn't it?
So here it comes, Rath and Meg - just three major things I'd like to comment on:
(1) The plot deserves a medal!! Extremely well grounded in existing lore, it's a story that screamed to be told in the game, especially for a Sole Survivor Shepard who romanced Miranda. Miranda is an obvious target for an operation like this, so it isn't as if it seemed all made for the sake of your typical abduction plot as things like this are all too often.
I think Bioware should read this and turn it into an LI-specific sidequest, only available if you're with Miranda. Although it works best for a Sole Survivor, it would function for any Shepard who met Toombs, in any game where he survived.
(2) Now for a bit of criticism: I think the emotions in your story are often put into words too strongly, or are described too much instead of shown. They sometimes interrupt the flow of the action as well, as in the reunion scene in chapter 16. The result is at times there's too much melodrama in the story. One example is Shepard's wrath. Understandable as it is, the way it's put into words just isn't very convincing. To make Shepard say "We're going to kill them" with a dark expression in his face is OK, but to make him repeat it comes across as melodramatic, as well as the way he interrupts Garrus as he's going to put down the burning mercs. This scene would have worked better without Shepard saying anything - and no additional exposition to make up for it.
To illustrate what I mean further: I really liked the scene where Shepard tries to lift Miranda, opening his stitches again, and commented this with his curtly-muttered "It was still worth it". Well-used as scenes like this are, it comes across as natural. On the other side, take the wake-up scene in chapter 3, starting with "Like it always did....". "Awestruck by her beauty"...really. This is unsubtly overdoing it.
(3) I still don't like the fistfight. Its presence tells me someone's been thinking "there must be a fistfight in the story", without thinking overmuch about where, and if, it really fits. There's no reason for Shepard to charge into melee in this scene. Toombs at short range is still easier taken out with a gun, especially considering Shepard's still wounded, which is a more serious handicap for melee than for a shootout.
So much for now. As for what I'd like for you to write-up next, I still think about it while I'm writing a fanfic chapter of my own. After all, it's somewhat unfair to critizice without giving you all something to hit on later.
I've limited time due to work, but I just have to comment on Rath's and Meg's fanfic for a minute or two. I wouldn't be me if I didn't have some (hopefully constructive) criticism (I always have, even with first-class established writers), but let me say first I'm very much impressed. It was fun to read, and that's always the most important thing, isn't it?
So here it comes, Rath and Meg - just three major things I'd like to comment on:
(1) The plot deserves a medal!! Extremely well grounded in existing lore, it's a story that screamed to be told in the game, especially for a Sole Survivor Shepard who romanced Miranda. Miranda is an obvious target for an operation like this, so it isn't as if it seemed all made for the sake of your typical abduction plot as things like this are all too often.
I think Bioware should read this and turn it into an LI-specific sidequest, only available if you're with Miranda. Although it works best for a Sole Survivor, it would function for any Shepard who met Toombs, in any game where he survived.
(2) Now for a bit of criticism: I think the emotions in your story are often put into words too strongly, or are described too much instead of shown. They sometimes interrupt the flow of the action as well, as in the reunion scene in chapter 16. The result is at times there's too much melodrama in the story. One example is Shepard's wrath. Understandable as it is, the way it's put into words just isn't very convincing. To make Shepard say "We're going to kill them" with a dark expression in his face is OK, but to make him repeat it comes across as melodramatic, as well as the way he interrupts Garrus as he's going to put down the burning mercs. This scene would have worked better without Shepard saying anything - and no additional exposition to make up for it.
To illustrate what I mean further: I really liked the scene where Shepard tries to lift Miranda, opening his stitches again, and commented this with his curtly-muttered "It was still worth it". Well-used as scenes like this are, it comes across as natural. On the other side, take the wake-up scene in chapter 3, starting with "Like it always did....". "Awestruck by her beauty"...really. This is unsubtly overdoing it.
(3) I still don't like the fistfight. Its presence tells me someone's been thinking "there must be a fistfight in the story", without thinking overmuch about where, and if, it really fits. There's no reason for Shepard to charge into melee in this scene. Toombs at short range is still easier taken out with a gun, especially considering Shepard's still wounded, which is a more serious handicap for melee than for a shootout.
So much for now. As for what I'd like for you to write-up next, I still think about it while I'm writing a fanfic chapter of my own. After all, it's somewhat unfair to critizice without giving you all something to hit on later.
#2771
Posté 23 février 2010 - 08:55
Meg, you're officially on my Friends list on XBL. Don't be too intimidated by my rather large Gamerscore now...
#2772
Posté 23 février 2010 - 09:01
Thanks for the criticisim Ieldra. It's much appreciated.
You make some good points. I can definitely see what you're talking about. Especially since one of my favorite aspects of their relationship in the game was how subtle some of their most poignant scenes were.
I'll be sure to direct Rath to your post as well. Hopefully we'll put your criticism to good use and improve on our next collaboration.
You make some good points. I can definitely see what you're talking about. Especially since one of my favorite aspects of their relationship in the game was how subtle some of their most poignant scenes were.
I'll be sure to direct Rath to your post as well. Hopefully we'll put your criticism to good use and improve on our next collaboration.
Modifié par MegWithAMouth, 23 février 2010 - 09:05 .
#2773
Posté 23 février 2010 - 09:03
@Andy: Haha, yeah. I am humbled in your presence.
I just created a new gamertag and got a new xbox in January so cut me a little slack. I'll catch up with you.. eventually... maybe... when I'm around 90 or so.
I just created a new gamertag and got a new xbox in January so cut me a little slack. I'll catch up with you.. eventually... maybe... when I'm around 90 or so.
#2774
Posté 23 février 2010 - 09:05
Haha, of course, my GS is actually very average, some people have got like 300,000 and stuff. Crazy!
#2775
Posté 23 février 2010 - 09:08
True. However, it's not size that matters, but the quality of the experience.




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