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[firecleaner]

@ Kalen



Do it!

[Kabraxal]

The more fics the merrier!



Funny and pathetic aside: someone on gamefaqs is actually trying to argue that Heavy Rain is linear...

[AccursedOdin]

Kabraxal wrote...

The more fics the merrier!

Funny and pathetic aside: someone on gamefaqs is actually trying to argue that Heavy Rain is linear...

And you were expecting something logical from such a place?

*Thinks back to the Smash Brothers Brawl forum pre-release and shudders*

[firecleaner]

Aight guys I'm going to beed see you later...

[AccursedOdin]

Night, firecleaner!

[Kabraxal]

AccursedOdin wrote...

Kabraxal wrote...

The more fics the merrier!

Funny and pathetic aside: someone on gamefaqs is actually trying to argue that Heavy Rain is linear...

And you were expecting something logical from such a place?

*Thinks back to the Smash Brothers Brawl forum pre-release and shudders*

Not really, those trolls are so virulent that they have infected our beloved Bioware forums now.  But it still amazes me to see such out and out stupidity.  At least pick a good topic to troll on, not something that merely makes you an idiot.

[AccursedOdin]

Kabraxal wrote...

Not really, those trolls are so virulent that they have infected our beloved Bioware forums now.  But it still amazes me to see such out and out stupidity.  At least pick a good topic to troll on, not something that merely makes you an idiot.

Looking intelligent really isn't one of the forum troll's strong suits, but I get what you're saying. And I weep for the BioBoards, I remember when the ME forums were a nice place.

Modifié par AccursedOdin, 25 février 2010 - 06:46 .

[KalenNighteyes]

Alright... I'm posting the ENTIRE first chapter. My writing style is a bit weird I know, but hopefully you can still enjoy reading it... I really hope you don't think it sucks! If this isn't liked, I'll quit working on it! I swear it!

Chapter One



Miranda Lawson sat in her office, reading some information on her computer. A month ago she was a very well respected employee of Cerberus but now... Most of her ties with Cerberus were gone. The number of contacts she still had was dwindling. The contacts would give small bits of information then cut ties with her.



A message popped up on her computer saying that she had a new message. "Finally," Miranda said impatiently. Immediately, she opened the message and began reading it. She didn't like what it had to say. "Miranda, T.I.M. hired an assassin to take care of Shepard and the 'rogue' crew under his command. I have found someone on Omega that can help you track down this assassin and take care of him. Miranda, I'm sorry, but this is the last bit of information you will get from me. Sorry."



"It took three days to send me information that's practically useless. Wonderful," Miranda said, shutting off the computer. With a sigh, Miranda stood up and walked toward her bed. Lying in her bed was a sleeping Commander Shepard. Her love. He was the best thing she had gotten in a long time. With a smile she made her way over to the window that looked out into space. The twinkling of distant stars usually helped to calm her down.



For a moment she stood there, staring into the blackness of space. As she stood there contemplating on what she needed to do, her thoughts were broken by hands slowly sliding around her waist. "I thought you were sleeping Commander."



"I was, but then I realized the bed was strangely empty Ms. Lawson," Shepard said.



"I'm sorry. I'm just finding it hard to sleep lately," Miranda said, turning to face him.



"Have something on your mind you want to talk about Miranda?" Shepard asked.



Miranda sighed and walked to a chair. "I'm worried about what the Illusive Man is going to do," she said, sitting down.



Shepard smirked at her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Come on. We took out the Collector Base. Nothing can stop us."



Miranda pushed Shepard's hand away and stood up. "Damn it Shepard, this isn't a joke!" she said, turning her back to him to hide the tears brimming in her eyes.



Shepard walked to Miranda and looked into her eyes. "Nothing is going to happen to us Miranda," he said, wiping a tear from her cheek. "What happened? What has made you so upset about this?"



Miranda dried her eyes with her hand and sat down at her desk. "The Illusive Man sent out an assassin to deal with you and the rest of the crew."



"Well I think one assassin is going to have a pretty hard time getting to me. I have the best people in the galaxy with me here on the Normandy," Shepard said taking a seat on the opposite side of Miranda's desk.



"Shepard, a well trained assassin will have no trouble killing you, and the rest of us. You know that," Miranda said.



"Well, do you have any leads on where we could start looking for this assassin so we can stop him?" Shepard asked.



"One, but it doesn't sound very promising. My contact said that there is someone on Omega that can help us," Miranda said.



"Good, we'll start there," Shepard said, heading to the door.



"Shepard?" Miranda called after him.



Shepard stopped and looked at Miranda. "Yeah?"



"I'm feeling a little stressed out," Miranda said, leaning back slightly in her chair, "and it will be three hours before we get to Omega. Care to help me get unstressed?"



Shepard cocked an eyebrow and walked back to Miranda. "What exactly did you have in mind Ms. Lawson?"



Miranda stood and walked to her bed. As she sat down, she unzipped her top slightly and gave Shepard a sly smile.



"Now how can I say no to you when you do that?" Shepard asked with a smile.



"That's kind of the point Commander," Miranda said seductively.



Shepard walked to the bed and sat down beside Miranda. "Have I told you that you are beautiful?"



Miranda shook her head. "Not today."



"Huh... Well I will," Shepard said with a grin, then leaned in and began kissing her.



"Hey Commander, do you have a place we need to head to by chance?" said Joker's voice over the comm system.



Shepard sighed and groaned. "Take us to Omega."



"Aye Commander," Joker said.



"And Joker," Shepard said.



"Yeah Commander?" Joker asked.



"No more interruptions until we arrive at Omega," Shepard said.



"Understood Commander," Joker said with a chuckle.



Shepard looked to Miranda again. "Now, where were we?"



“Right about here,” Miranda said, leaning in to kiss Shepard.

*Bites nails while waiting for feedback*

[Flashy91]

Kabraxal wrote...

AccursedOdin wrote...

Kabraxal wrote...

The more fics the merrier!

Funny and pathetic aside: someone on gamefaqs is actually trying to argue that Heavy Rain is linear...

And you were expecting something logical from such a place?

*Thinks back to the Smash Brothers Brawl forum pre-release and shudders*

Not really, those trolls are so virulent that they have infected our beloved Bioware forums now.  But it still amazes me to see such out and out stupidity.  At least pick a good topic to troll on, not something that merely makes you an idiot.

Well how much can be expected from people that 99.9% of the time can't spell, punctuate or form a correct/legible sentence? not bashing, just saying...

BTW firecleaner


*Edit: Holy crabcakes Kalen! MOAR! Good start

Modifié par Flashy91, 25 février 2010 - 06:50 .

[Rathias0114]

AccursedOdin wrote...

MegWithAMouth wrote...

You better do what Odin says, Kalen. He's been known to get violent when you tease him with an excerpt and don't deliver fast enough.

Just to come clean, I'm not as threatening as I used to be, I misplaced my stalking jacket and machete, now I'm just an irrate 20-something. Such is life. <_<

Oh yeah? Then explain to me why I woke up two days ago with a volley of arrows hitting my house for not having finished the fanfiction already?

OH!

And explain why my tires were slashed and "WHERE'S MY MIRANDA EXCERPT" was keyed to my car?

HUH!?

[AccursedOdin]

Rathias0114 wrote...

AccursedOdin wrote...

MegWithAMouth wrote...

You better do what Odin says, Kalen. He's been known to get violent when you tease him with an excerpt and don't deliver fast enough.

Just to come clean, I'm not as threatening as I used to be, I misplaced my stalking jacket and machete, now I'm just an irrate 20-something. Such is life. <_<

Oh yeah? Then explain to me why I woke up two days ago with a volley of arrows hitting my house for not having finished the fanfiction already?

OH!

And explain why my tires were slashed and "WHERE'S MY MIRANDA EXCERPT" was keyed to my car?

HUH!?

Oh....that.... well, y'see....

......

Yeah, I'm still a dangerous psychopath.

Edit: Kalen, you're off to a good start! Look forward to reading the rest.

Modifié par AccursedOdin, 25 février 2010 - 06:54 .

[Kabraxal]

Good so far Kalen!



And Odin... stay away from me. I promise the fics will becoming as soon as I get back.

[AccursedOdin]

Kabraxal wrote...

Good so far Kalen!

And Odin... stay away from me. I promise the fics will becoming as soon as I get back.

Just put them out in a timely fashion and I won't have to find you.

Oh, and Rath, look outside.

[Strikor2115]

Wow, Kalen.

That was very good. Most of the lines seemed to fit the personalities perfectly. God I wish this was cannon

[Kabraxal]

AccursedOdin wrote...

Kabraxal wrote...

Good so far Kalen!

And Odin... stay away from me. I promise the fics will becoming as soon as I get back.

Just put them out in a timely fashion and I won't have to find you.

Oh, and Rath, look outside.

If I come back from this trip without any mental/emotional issues, no problem on the time line.  Can't promise anything though.

[Andysilv]

I enjoyed that Kalen, it's off to a good start. Always good to see Miri's soft side come out.

[ComTrav]

...is why I'm not posting excerpts, lol. I don't want my car to get keyed. My fanfic will be out when it's ready.

You're off to a good start, though!

Modifié par ComTrav, 25 février 2010 - 07:05 .

[AccursedOdin]

Kabraxal wrote...

If I come back from this trip without any mental/emotional issues, no problem on the time line.  Can't promise anything though.

Well damn, now I feel bad for fake threatening you, hope your trip goes well.

[Kabraxal]

AccursedOdin wrote...

Kabraxal wrote...

If I come back from this trip without any mental/emotional issues, no problem on the time line.  Can't promise anything though.

Well damn, now I feel bad for fake threatening you, hope your trip goes well.

If you knew my current situation I'd be scared... so don't feel bad.  It's not like you know my life, right?

[AccursedOdin]

Kabraxal wrote...

AccursedOdin wrote...

Kabraxal wrote...

If I come back from this trip without any mental/emotional issues, no problem on the time line.  Can't promise anything though.

Well damn, now I feel bad for fake threatening you, hope your trip goes well.

If you knew my current situation I'd be scared... so don't feel bad.  It's not like you know my life, right?

Normally I'd ask, but I feel that whatever's going on hails from the land of None-of-my-damned-business. Still, I wish you the best.

[Flashy91]

Whatever it is Kab I hope everything turns out good for you.

[Kabraxal]

Well, the best I can hope for is that I don't break down. I don't think I will, but who knows. It will be a first for me since I lived overseas the last few times something like this happened.

[Andysilv]

Yes Kabraxal whatever is going on, I wish you all the best. We'll certainly miss you while you're gone.

[KalenNighteyes]

Now that I have no finger nails, I can say this.



Thank you all for the awesome feedback on chapter one

[AccursedOdin]

Sorry if this seems inappropriate, but this thread needs some levity, like now. So here's a kitten in pirate garb.

Modifié par AccursedOdin, 25 février 2010 - 07:22 .