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[VampireCommando]

kraidy1117 wrote...

jlb524 wrote...

About Miranda's 'romance' scene, I would have preferred something similar to Garrus'. Why couldn't she just show up, bring a bottle of wine, and share a kiss with Shepard (no headbutting)? I think it would have fit the course that the romance took (her becoming warmer to Shepard). The 'Engine Room Scene' seems to be, unfortunately, all about the sex.

Joker: Shepard, Miranda would like to see you at her station in her office
Shepard: I wonder what's wrong

*Shepard walks to Miri standing near her desk
Shepard: Miranda, is there something bugging you.

*Miri looks at you and her eyes are watery a little bit*

Miri: Shepard, I have been thinknig and this won't work, between us.

*You then have a choice to comfort her or aggree with her*

Shepard: Mira it is worth it, and you know that.

*Miri smiles a little bit*

Miri: But you deserve someone who can give you a better life then I can, who can give you love

Shepard: I don't want anyone else, I want you. You are the only thing I care about deeply, and I know you do too.

Miri; I know, but it just won't work

*During this, a paragon response comes up, if you take it you
stopher and kiss her, you then pick her up a little bit and put her on
the desk as you began to kiss her neck, then you pick her up and you go
to her bed, you both fall down on it, her on top. The sex scene then
goes normaly like in the game)

Thats how I would have done it.

Kraidy for Miri romance writer in ME3!

[jlb524]

Yes, some romantic dialog before hand would have worked wonders.

[kraidy1117]

VampireCommando wrote...

kraidy1117 wrote...

jlb524 wrote...

About Miranda's 'romance' scene, I would have preferred something similar to Garrus'. Why couldn't she just show up, bring a bottle of wine, and share a kiss with Shepard (no headbutting)? I think it would have fit the course that the romance took (her becoming warmer to Shepard). The 'Engine Room Scene' seems to be, unfortunately, all about the sex.

Joker: Shepard, Miranda would like to see you at her station in her office
Shepard: I wonder what's wrong

*Shepard walks to Miri standing near her desk
Shepard: Miranda, is there something bugging you.

*Miri looks at you and her eyes are watery a little bit*

Miri: Shepard, I have been thinknig and this won't work, between us.

*You then have a choice to comfort her or aggree with her*

Shepard: Mira it is worth it, and you know that.

*Miri smiles a little bit*

Miri: But you deserve someone who can give you a better life then I can, who can give you love

Shepard: I don't want anyone else, I want you. You are the only thing I care about deeply, and I know you do too.

Miri; I know, but it just won't work

*During this, a paragon response comes up, if you take it you
stopher and kiss her, you then pick her up a little bit and put her on
the desk as you began to kiss her neck, then you pick her up and you go
to her bed, you both fall down on it, her on top. The sex scene then
goes normaly like in the game)

Thats how I would have done it.

Kraidy for Miri romance writer in ME3!

Well my upcming fic, the end run which is my take on how I would do ME3 will have alot of Miri love and a sex scene near the end, right now working on rough chapter 3 while my last reader gives feedback so I can do the good chapter 2.

[kraidy1117]

jlb524 wrote...

Yes, some romantic dialog before hand would have worked wonders.

Plus I would have prefered if it was in her room. It's unique still.

[jtav]

I would have kept the sex but I would have moved the "promise" scene so that it immediately preceded it. Though, really, I would much rather scrap the whole thing and began from scratch. There are so many interesting angles that they could have used but didn't. ME2 is "strange bedfellows" plot. Shepard, as a Spectre/Alliance soldier is working with people that are traitors. Use that. Have Shepard and Miranda argue--really argue--about Cerberus and try to convert each other. Have one or both of them acknowledge the attraction but getting involved is a bad idea because they'll be enemies again once the Reapers are defeated. Ratchet up the sexual tension as high as you can. Cue fireworks.

[kraidy1117]

jtav wrote...

I would have kept the sex but I would have moved the "promise" scene so that it immediately preceded it. Though, really, I would much rather scrap the whole thing and began from scratch. There are so many interesting angles that they could have used but didn't. ME2 is "strange bedfellows" plot. Shepard, as a Spectre/Alliance soldier is working with people that are traitors. Use that. Have Shepard and Miranda argue--really argue--about Cerberus and try to convert each other. Have one or both of them acknowledge the attraction but getting involved is a bad idea because they'll be enemies again once the Reapers are defeated. Ratchet up the sexual tension as high as you can. Cue fireworks.

I like firworks I could rewrite the whole romance if I had the time to do it but end run project and my rewriting aspects of ME2 story and plus my work and my wife do keep me busy.

Modifié par kraidy1117, 26 mai 2010 - 10:40 .

[VampireCommando]

Looking forward to it Kraidy, very much so

[jlb524]

They could have done something with the 'doctor/patient' thing too. An over-protective Miranda that, at first, thinks of Shepard only as her 'finest professional accomplishment'.

[kraidy1117]

Ya is't Shepard now like one of the biggest things in scientific history? Wilson says it in one of his logs, it's on the bench where you meet Jacob when Wilson says Shepard is alive.

I would have loved an option to joke around with Miri about the brainchip.

Modifié par kraidy1117, 26 mai 2010 - 10:42 .

[Commissar Gash]

kraidy1117 wrote...

Well my upcming fic, the end run which is my take on how I would do ME3 will have alot of Miri love and a sex scene near the end, right now working on rough chapter 3 while my last reader gives feedback so I can do the good chapter 2.

*snip*
I still want to read it anyway, that romance scene that you just wrote....
I'm sure it will be great, if you need some feedback from me just ask, I'm always willing to read some good fics:wizard:

Modifié par gashgfjaskgfkagh, 26 mai 2010 - 10:50 .

[kraidy1117]

gashgfjaskgfkagh wrote...

kraidy1117 wrote...

Well my upcming fic, the end run which is my take on how I would do ME3 will have alot of Miri love and a sex scene near the end, right now working on rough chapter 3 while my last reader gives feedback so I can do the good chapter 2.

Isn't that the one where you killed someone?
I still want to read it anyway, that romance scene that you just wrote....
I'm sure it will be great, if you need some feedback from me just ask, I'm always willing to read some good fics:wizard:

shh Gash, and don't worry, I am redoing that scene to be more emotinal and not cheap.

Edit your post Gash

Modifié par kraidy1117, 26 mai 2010 - 10:47 .

[VampireCommando]

see now i'm hyped up for it Kraidy, like a little school girl ,

but seriously though, when do you reckon your gonna release it.

[jtav]

Oh great. Now I'm getting distracted by thoughts of fixing the romance. This is why I never get anything dome. Too many ideas. Liara and Miranda aren't happy. But I love the image of lifting Miranda onto her desk and kissing her. Or more than kissing.



I need to find willpower to stay away from this thread.

[Commissar Gash]

kraidy1117 wrote...

gashgfjaskgfkagh wrote...

kraidy1117 wrote...

Well my upcming fic, the end run which is my take on how I would do ME3 will have alot of Miri love and a sex scene near the end, right now working on rough chapter 3 while my last reader gives feedback so I can do the good chapter 2.

Isn't that the one where you killed someone?
I still want to read it anyway, that romance scene that you just wrote....
I'm sure it will be great, if you need some feedback from me just ask, I'm always willing to read some good fics:wizard:

shh Gash, and don't worry, I am redoing that scene to be more emotinal and not cheap.

Edit your post Gash

I've edited it:wizard:

I'm pleased to hear that, and that means Miri might even get a bigger role in the upcoming chapter of my UPSC fic:D

[kraidy1117]

Chapter 1 is in my blog and on fan fiction net. Before any fturue chapters are uploaded to the internet I have some people that i trust who give me feedback then I do the good copy and upload it.

[VampireCommando]

kraidy1117 wrote...

Chapter 1 is in my blog and on fan fiction net. Before any fturue chapters are uploaded to the internet I have some people that i trust who give me feedback then I do the good copy and upload it.

Can i have a link please

[Commissar Gash]

kraidy1117 wrote...

Chapter 1 is in my blog and on fan fiction net. Before any fturue chapters are uploaded to the internet I have some people that i trust who give me feedback then I do the good copy and upload it.

Thanks for the info, I'll read it tommorow (it's 1:00 AM in Holland) when my mind isn't half asleep, crappy music playing all day and night not far from my house for four days isn't fun (luckyly I only have to live with that once at year), now I can finally get some normal sleep, I'll probably stay online for a half hour and then...

[VampireCommando]

Guys just to let you know, Kraidy is banned. Don't know why or for how long yet either.

[jtav]

Something I've been thinking about:



Several of us (myself included) tend to think of Miranda as a scientist first and foremost. But is that true? She knows enough to supervise the Lazarus Project but she's introduced to us as a spy/handler with an extensive list of contacts in Galaxy and she admires Mordin for his time in the STG, not for his scientific accomplishments specifically.

[MrNose]

jtav wrote...

I would have kept the sex but I would have moved the "promise" scene so that it immediately preceded it. Though, really, I would much rather scrap the whole thing and began from scratch. There are so many interesting angles that they could have used but didn't. ME2 is "strange bedfellows" plot. Shepard, as a Spectre/Alliance soldier is working with people that are traitors. Use that. Have Shepard and Miranda argue--really argue--about Cerberus and try to convert each other. Have one or both of them acknowledge the attraction but getting involved is a bad idea because they'll be enemies again once the Reapers are defeated. Ratchet up the sexual tension as high as you can. Cue fireworks.

I would expand on the romance and tighten up some parts of the pacing, but I fully respect the story they wrote for that romance, and don't think that I would ever scrap it.  Details, fleshing things out, that's all good, but no scrapping.

Don't know about a ton of bickering or ratcheting up of sexual tension.  That makes the story rather too obvious for me.  I enjoyed how the Miri romance was portrayed as a growth rather than a dam breaking, I'm just disappointed that it culminated in a scene with no emotion, since most of Miri's scene's before that were quite emotional.

[jtav]

No, not bickering. Legit differences of opinion with nary a "shut up" kiss in site. And by sexual tension, I mostly mean more flirting, touching, teasing that sort of thing. With better lines for both.

[TheSixthghoul]

It seems the Island of Tali is up again, balance has once again been restored to The Miranda Universe.

[MrNose]

jtav wrote...

No, not bickering. Legit differences of opinion with nary a "shut up" kiss in site. And by sexual tension, I mostly mean more flirting, touching, teasing that sort of thing. With better lines for both.

OH.  I thought that you meant sexual tension in the horrible WT/WT "lets not acknowledge these feelings at all" way that many TV shows utilize.

p.s.  How hard is it to create a subforum for the support threads, seriously!?

[jtav]

I hate "will they, won't they" just like I despise "hatred=secretly attracted." Let them want each other and acknowledge it. Let the player see it. Make us want the consummation as much as they do. That's the sort of thing that makes a PG-13 sex scene hotter than the edgiest porno.



I told you I read romances.

[Auzden]

ME3 will be huge!!!!! all of our charactars questions shall be answered. hopefully