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Miranda moved to stand beside Liara. She watched the technicians working on Peter as if she saw such things every day. Maybe she did. She'd been casual about the violence on Omega, even cracked jokes about blowing a krogan's brains out. Peter had made jokes as well. He'd told her that it was either laugh or go crazy. All soldiers were like that, he said. The good ones, anyway. Liara didn't think she would ever be a good soldier. A good soldier would have found a way to save both Feron and Peter. Peter would have found a way. She closed her eyes. I should have been stronger. Next time, I will be stronger.
Miranda must have read the distress on her face because she rested a hand on Liara's shoulder. It felt warm and solid, and Liara relaxed slightly. "You did very well. Better than any of us could have hoped. I just wish I had better news to give you."
Liara's head snapped up. "Better news?" Her voice sounded faint, as if it came from inside a deep well.
"It's possible that we won't be able to restore Commander Shepard. Decomposition was far worse than I hoped." Contempt crept into her voice. "There were preservation systems in the pod, of course, but they were far from ideal. Closer to what you would use to refrigerate a piece of meat that to preserve a corpse."
And there was that word again. Meat. Liara jerked away and turned her back. It had all been for nothing. She had chosen to save Peter—no, his corpse—over a living, breathing drell. She had signed Feron's death warrant. Now Cerberus was telling her that they might not be able to bring Shepard back? She hardly knew whether she wanted to laugh or punch something. "Then let the dead rest. Better to call the whole thing off than get your hopes up and drag out your disappointment. Dead is dead. I ought to have known better."
"Are you talking about me? Or yourself?" Liara heard the clatter of boots on metal. "The Illusive Man remains very hopeful about the prospect of success. We're willing to spend every credit we have to bring Shepard back. It may take years, but I promise you we'll try everything." She placed her hands on Liara's arms and gently turned her to face her. "It's true that no one has ever managed to bring back a human being who is quite as... damaged as Shepard. But there was also a time when we couldn't even travel to our own moon, let alone explore the galaxy. Now look at us. So don't you dare tell me that I shouldn't try."
They stared at one another. Miranda's eyes were dark and she trembled slightly. She really did believe it. It must have been a human thing. Try anything, and damn the consequences. Commit yourself totally and completely to some impossible dream and worry about what would happen when you failed better to fail spectacularly than succeed mundanely, etc. "And what about Feron?"
Miranda's expression darkened and she took a step back. "The drell knew the risks when he offered to help us. I told you that we're putting everything into bringing Shepard back. We don't have the resources to mount a rescue effort. It's unpleasant, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made for the greater good. And Shepard is our best hope of defeating the Reapers. Feron is nothing to that. You and I are nothing to that."
Her voice was clipped and calm. Sacrifices must be made, but did she have to be so calm about it? Feron had proved himself trustworthy in the end. He deserved at least a little of her grief. "So we leave him to the Shadow Broker?"
"We leave him to the Shadow Broker. If he's lucky, it will be a quick death." She frowned. "Quite frankly, the fact that the Shadow Broker was willing to hand over Shepard's body to the Collectors concerns me far more. He knows that the Collectors are agents for the Reapers. He has to. The Shadow Broker has always been mercenary, but there's mercenary and then there's insane. If the Reapers win, the Shadow Broker will be as dead as the rest of us."
"Then he should be stopped." Something cold ran through Liara. Knowledge was power. Fifty thousand years ago, the Reapers had used the census data and other information stored on the Citadel to hunt the Protheans to extinction. She had used her knowledge of the Protheans to help find the Conduit and defeat Sovereign. She, Peter, and the rest of the Normandy crew had denied the Reapers access to the Citadel's vast library of information. But if the Shadow Broker could be turned, that would be better than the Citadel. The Reapers would know every secret, every weakness in the galaxy. "Do you think it's possible that he was indoctrinated like Saren was?"
"Anything's possible." She looked genuinely disturbed by the thought. "If you are right, then we all made an even more powerful enemy that I thought. And Cerberus doesn't have the resources to stop him. I'm not sure anyone does."
Someone should try. "You said reviving Peter might take years?" So would taking down the Shadow Broker. Even if Peter despised her for giving his body to Cerberus, maybe he would forgive her if she eliminated the person responsible for attempting to sell his body to the Collectors in the first place. And if the Shadow Broker was working with the Reapers, she would still be doing her part to help save the galaxy. Her mother had been more than a powerful biotic. She had been well-connected. Powerful people old her favors—favors they would be more than happy to repay to her daughter. None of them would know the Shadow Broker's true identity, but one of them might know someone who knew someone who could provide the first clue.
"Let me put it this way: I wouldn't sit around here waiting for Shepard to wake up."
Liara almost smiled. "Don't worry. I won't."
The first chapter should be done tomorrow. I'm planning to make it three connected on-shots rather than a plotty epic. More focus on the relationship, less pointless death of most of the team. I'm actually terrified I'll screw this up. Like hyperventilating.
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