DarthReavus wrote...
Anyone have any feedback I can use, or do I have to wait for the other authors to make their presence known? 
It's a nicely written epilogue, but Shepard's wound seems really unrealistic. Even for medigel. If he was hit in the lung, then the results would have been immediate. If he wasn't, then internal bleeding would have been definitely a crazy issue. Actually, if he was hit at all, then he'd be in the medical bay getting the bullet out of his body, not heading to his room, in which case, Mordin/Chakwas would see it. Also, you need to factor in the pain. There's a rather large cluster of nerves under the arm. It's why most are ticklish there. Unless medigel provide mad painkillers too, it's really going to hurt. Finally, there's a large artery there that provides a great deal of blood for the arm...
Sorry for nitpicking, but you sent Miranda to the med bay and she was probably fine, but Shepard actually got shot and he just toughs it out?
I guess I'm saying that its still a rough draft and that some minor tweaks are needed. I do like how the beginning was written though.