27956 réponses à ce sujet

[Foune]

I think I just fell of my chair laughing aswell, especially at the Grunt one.

[janeym27]

Ah. All the Captain Planet nonsense reminded me of this.

Do do do do do Inspector Garrus
Do do do do do
Do do
Do do do do do Inspector Garrus
Do do do do do do

Go, Garrus, Go!

etc :innocent:

[LOLandStuff]

Kainda's hair is so perfect unlike Shepard's messy hair.

[janeym27]

it's either the wine, or the bad fanfic, or both, but CRACKFIC TIME!

INT  Night. Shepard’s cabin.

Shepard is relaxing on her sofa, with a nice glass of dubious looking green liquid. Her door opens and Miranda, Jacob, Garrus, Tali, Mordin and Grunt file in. They look serious. Shepard grins at them.

Shepard: Guys! What up? How come you never knock?
Garrus: I’m sorry about this, Shepard.
Jacob: Commander, we need to talk.
Shepard: All of us? Together? In the same place? About damn time.
Miranda: Lately we’ve noticed certain…patterns in your behaviour which are giving us some cause for concern.
Shepard: What, the drinking? Look, if they didn’t want me getting hammered, they shouldn’t have made it so easy for me to get alcohol. Besides, I snap back into sobriety if I break the 12 drink barrier. It’s a win situation!
Garrus: ‘They‘?
Jacob: No, Shepard, it’s not that. We-
Tali: We’re worried about you Shepard. We’re your friends-
Shepard: Miranda isn’t.
Tali: - and we care about you.
Miranda: I need to know you aren’t cracking under the pressures of command. We’ve invested a lot in you.
Shepard: Yeah, well, you also killed my entire unit once, and I conveniently forgot about that for you. Cut me some slack. What is it? Is it the toilet flushing thing? I know it’s weird, but the way I see it is if you can flush, you might as well flush. Why would they make them do that otherwise?
Garrus: It’s not really any one thing in particular, Shepard. Lately we’ve noticed  that, well -
Mordin: You seem… distracted.
Shepard: What do you mean?
Jacob: Whenever anyone is talking to you, you space out and stare at us in silence before responding. Sometimes for ages.
Tali: It’s really disconcerting.
Shepard: Well, I need to make sure I choose the right thing to say. Sometimes the wheel choices are misleading.
Tali: Wheel choices?
Shepard: You know, the just of my response to your statements or questions. Sometimes I think I’ve picked the right one, but then I hear myself speak and it’s not what I wanted to say.

they look at her blankly

Shepard: Like, remember that time I told you I wanted to be friends, Garrus? Man, was that a dialogue wheel slip-up and a half.
Garrus: Commander, I -
Shepard: Damn ‘paragon’ slot. Messing me up.
Garrus: I don’t quite understand-
Miranda: It’s not just the silences, Shepard. Sometimes you seem to get stuck in a loop. You ask us the same questions over and over again.
Shepard: Well, maybe if you had more things to talk about, I wouldn’t have to. Mordin is the only one who ever has anything new to say.
Mordin: Maybe so. Still, did not appreciate being made to sing Gilbert and Sullivan 6 times in a row. Sore throat most unpleasant.
Shepard: Oh, come on. That was awesome. How could I not make you repeat that?
Garrus: This isn’t the first time we’ve noticed this, Shepard.
Tali: Remember on Novaria? You must have had the same conversation with Lorik Qui’n about 20 times.
Shepard: Ah, well, that was intentional, y’see? I was exploiting a glitch.
Garrus: A ‘glitch’, Commander?
Shepard: See, every time you talk to him, it gives you paragon and renegade points. Fills your bar up really easily.
Tali: Bar?
Shepard: You know: blue bar fills up when you are nice, red bar when you  are mean. Or sometimes when you are practical. The verdict on morality there sometimes confuses me.

The crew exchange glances. Miranda slowly approaches Shepard.

Miranda: You… you think that you get ‘points’ for everything you say?
Shepard: Not everything. And sometimes actions give them too.
Mordin: Most illogical. What purpose would that serve?
Shepard: Oh, you know. The higher my points level, the more likely it is I can manipulate you guys into agreeing with me.
Jacob: I don’t -
Shepard: Not just you guys. Mercenaries, store-keepers, grumpy civilians. You know all the store discounts I get?
Garrus: The ones you get by endorsing every store you walk into?
Shepard: You think I’d get away with that stuff unless my bar was at least half full of blue. I am saving us a fortune!
Jacob: OK. That’s enough. Shepard, we are going to -  What is that smell?

They look at the fish tank. It is full of dead fish.

Miranda: Dear god, Shepard.
Shepard: I know, right? I can’t keep them alive. Feed them, don’t feed them. Never seems to make a difference. Kelly said she’d feed them, but I don’t think she did.
Jacob: Well, maybe if she hadn’t been turned into goop by the collectors-
Shepard: This again? Look, it’s not my fault we didn’t get there in time. It was a suicide mission. I think making sure we were suitably prepared was the wisest course of action.
Garrus: No one disagrees with you on that, Commander. But-
Jacob: But it’s hard to see how wandering around the citadel getting drunk and helping some krogan get fish helped us prepare to rescue our crew.
Grunt: Or looting derelict vessels.
Miranda: Or powering an ancient mech to blast for minerals.
Shepard: Wow. You got angry. I must have made the wrong dialogue choice somewhere. Hang on… when was the last autosave?
Jacob: What?
Shepard: I can reload from the last save game. No biggie.
Mordin: What is this ‘game‘?
Garrus: Please, Shepard, we - Shepard?  
Tali: She’s spaced out again.
Grunt: Enough of this. As long as she still fights well, let her be as crazy as she wants. Hell, maybe it helps.
Miranda: I had better report back to Cerberus.
Mordin: Fascinating.

One by one, they all leave. Garrus and Tali are last to go, shaking their heads.

Shepard: Ah. There we go. And….reload!

INT  Night. Shepard’s cabin.

Shepard is relaxing on her sofa, with a nice glass of dubious looking green liquid. Her door opens and Miranda, Jacob, Garrus, Tali, Mordin and Grunt file in. They look serious. Shepard grins at them.

Shepard: Guys! What up? How come you never knock?
Garrus: I’m sorry about this, Shepard.
Jacob: Commander, we need to talk.

Seriously. I was bored, and I'm sorry.

[Xsause]

Does anyone have a link to the first installment of the hat thing? I want the large version of Mordin with a pirate hat.

[Xsause]

janeym27 wrote...

it's either the wine, or the bad fanfic, or both, but CRACKFIC TIME!

INT  Night. Shepard’s cabin.

Shepard is relaxing on her sofa, with a nice glass of dubious looking green liquid. Her door opens and Miranda, Jacob, Garrus, Tali, Mordin and Grunt file in. They look serious. Shepard grins at them.

Shepard: Guys! What up? How come you never knock?
Garrus: I’m sorry about this, Shepard.
Jacob: Commander, we need to talk.
Shepard: All of us? Together? In the same place? About damn time.
Miranda: Lately we’ve noticed certain…patterns in your behaviour which are giving us some cause for concern.
Shepard: What, the drinking? Look, if they didn’t want me getting hammered, they shouldn’t have made it so easy for me to get alcohol. Besides, I snap back into sobriety if I break the 12 drink barrier. It’s a win situation!
Garrus: ‘They‘?
Jacob: No, Shepard, it’s not that. We-
Tali: We’re worried about you Shepard. We’re your friends-
Shepard: Miranda isn’t.
Tali: - and we care about you.
Miranda: I need to know you aren’t cracking under the pressures of command. We’ve invested a lot in you.
Shepard: Yeah, well, you also killed my entire unit once, and I conveniently forgot about that for you. Cut me some slack. What is it? Is it the toilet flushing thing? I know it’s weird, but the way I see it is if you can flush, you might as well flush. Why would they make them do that otherwise?
Garrus: It’s not really any one thing in particular, Shepard. Lately we’ve noticed  that, well -
Mordin: You seem… distracted.
Shepard: What do you mean?
Jacob: Whenever anyone is talking to you, you space out and stare at us in silence before responding. Sometimes for ages.
Tali: It’s really disconcerting.
Shepard: Well, I need to make sure I choose the right thing to say. Sometimes the wheel choices are misleading.
Tali: Wheel choices?
Shepard: You know, the just of my response to your statements or questions. Sometimes I think I’ve picked the right one, but then I hear myself speak and it’s not what I wanted to say.

they look at her blankly

Shepard: Like, remember that time I told you I wanted to be friends, Garrus? Man, was that a dialogue wheel slip-up and a half.
Garrus: Commander, I -
Shepard: Damn ‘paragon’ slot. Messing me up.
Garrus: I don’t quite understand-
Miranda: It’s not just the silences, Shepard. Sometimes you seem to get stuck in a loop. You ask us the same questions over and over again.
Shepard: Well, maybe if you had more things to talk about, I wouldn’t have to. Mordin is the only one who ever has anything new to say.
Mordin: Maybe so. Still, did not appreciate being made to sing Gilbert and Sullivan 6 times in a row. Sore throat most unpleasant.
Shepard: Oh, come on. That was awesome. How could I not make you repeat that?
Garrus: This isn’t the first time we’ve noticed this, Shepard.
Tali: Remember on Novaria? You must have had the same conversation with Lorik Qui’n about 20 times.
Shepard: Ah, well, that was intentional, y’see? I was exploiting a glitch.
Garrus: A ‘glitch’, Commander?
Shepard: See, every time you talk to him, it gives you paragon and renegade points. Fills your bar up really easily.
Tali: Bar?
Shepard: You know: blue bar fills up when you are nice, red bar when you  are mean. Or sometimes when you are practical. The verdict on morality there sometimes confuses me.

The crew exchange glances. Miranda slowly approaches Shepard.

Miranda: You… you think that you get ‘points’ for everything you say?
Shepard: Not everything. And sometimes actions give them too.
Mordin: Most illogical. What purpose would that serve?
Shepard: Oh, you know. The higher my points level, the more likely it is I can manipulate you guys into agreeing with me.
Jacob: I don’t -
Shepard: Not just you guys. Mercenaries, store-keepers, grumpy civilians. You know all the store discounts I get?
Garrus: The ones you get by endorsing every store you walk into?
Shepard: You think I’d get away with that stuff unless my bar was at least half full of blue. I am saving us a fortune!
Jacob: OK. That’s enough. Shepard, we are going to -  What is that smell?

They look at the fish tank. It is full of dead fish.

Miranda: Dear god, Shepard.
Shepard: I know, right? I can’t keep them alive. Feed them, don’t feed them. Never seems to make a difference. Kelly said she’d feed them, but I don’t think she did.
Jacob: Well, maybe if she hadn’t been turned into goop by the collectors-
Shepard: This again? Look, it’s not my fault we didn’t get there in time. It was a suicide mission. I think making sure we were suitably prepared was the wisest course of action.
Garrus: No one disagrees with you on that, Commander. But-
Jacob: But it’s hard to see how wandering around the citadel getting drunk and helping some krogan get fish helped us prepare to rescue our crew.
Grunt: Or looting derelict vessels.
Miranda: Or powering an ancient mech to blast for minerals.
Shepard: Wow. You got angry. I must have made the wrong dialogue choice somewhere. Hang on… when was the last autosave?
Jacob: What?
Shepard: I can reload from the last save game. No biggie.
Mordin: What is this ‘game‘?
Garrus: Please, Shepard, we - Shepard?  
Tali: She’s spaced out again.
Grunt: Enough of this. As long as she still fights well, let her be as crazy as she wants. Hell, maybe it helps.
Miranda: I had better report back to Cerberus.
Mordin: Fascinating.

One by one, they all leave. Garrus and Tali are last to go, shaking their heads.

Shepard: Ah. There we go. And….reload!

INT  Night. Shepard’s cabin.

Shepard is relaxing on her sofa, with a nice glass of dubious looking green liquid. Her door opens and Miranda, Jacob, Garrus, Tali, Mordin and Grunt file in. They look serious. Shepard grins at them.

Shepard: Guys! What up? How come you never knock?
Garrus: I’m sorry about this, Shepard.
Jacob: Commander, we need to talk.

Seriously. I was bored, and I'm sorry.

Sorry to doublepost, but you are AWESOME for writing this.

[silentstephi]

[Xsause]

silentstephi wrote...

Thank you so much! 

[Andaius20]

hello garrus people, how's it going today?

[Ray Joel Oh]

I made the video you requested. :3

Modifié par Ray Joel Oh, 14 mai 2010 - 11:19 .

[Mr.BlazenGlazen]

Andaius20 wrote...

hello garrus people, how's it going today?

Was going to ask the same thing, was gone for a couple days catching up IRL. How is my fellow vakariminions doin?

[Andaius20]

Ray Joel Oh wrote...

I made the video you requested. :3

Awesome!


Edit: now all you need to do is the krogan headbutt, the batarian that works too hard, and the Morith dance floor.

Modifié par Andaius20, 14 mai 2010 - 11:22 .

[Kim Shepard]

How do they get the hats to look like they fit so well? It's amazing that pink hair on Kaidan can look so right. 

@janeym27: That whole thing was hilarious. xD I also leave the poor characters waiting while I choose a response, and so often I end up playing the same conversation over and over until I finally find the option that comes out the way I want it to.

Also, I found something that might be of interest to you guys. I remembered reading that some of you didn't like the colors of Garrus' casual outfit, and when I was looking through the group from the texture mod thread, I found this. social.bioware.com/project/2515/#gallery I hope that link works. It's Garrus' casual outfit in black/blue.

...I have a few Shepards who would be jealous of all the awesome stuff that can be created with mods.

[janeym27]

Xsause wrote...
*snip*

Sorry to doublepost, but you are AWESOME for writing this.

D'awww. Glad I amused someone other than myself. lol. Thankee.

@Ray. I wish the sound on my youtubes was working. But the visual is awesome. Garrus punch indeed!

[Collider]

I turned sound off for the videos because Garrus with FemShep's voice = WAT

=p

[kglaser]

Ragabul the Ontarah wrote...

Kim Shepard wrote...

I never thought about that before, that some people might have wanted Garrus to fail. It works well with the salarian's theory.

...After searching everywhere for that controller, I found it. It was with the Xbox the whole time. xD

Wireless controllers are simultaneously one of the greatest advances in gaming one of gaming's greatest banes.  I have lost mine in couch cushions, taken it outside with me to my truck, and once very nearly put it in the refrigerator, but then I am the world's biggest scatterbrain.

I wanted to respond to this yesterday, and tell you all about the time I lost my keys and found them 6 days later in the oven, but this crappy Trojan or whatever my computer has has been totally wreaking havoc with...well, everything.  I'm about to get a sledgehammer.  Seriously, don't make me laugh, my internet connection is barely holding together as it is.
So in case this doesn't let me say anything else...GARRUS!!!!

[kglaser]

Sand King wrote...

Ragabul the Ontarah wrote...

I know I asked this like four hundred pages ago, but then I ran off and didn't read the answer. Has anybody noticed that the lights on Garrus' loyalty armor will sometimes flash green during a mission? Any idea what that means?

I have noticed that too. I think it just an animation error or has something to do with Mountain Dew.

ZOMG!  Fanservice!

LOLandStuff wrote:
I am not fluent in english

Well, you sure could have fooled me.  If you hadn't written that, I would never have guessed it wasn't your first language.  As a native English speaker, I can say your English is impeccable.  I think you're selling yourself short.

Modifié par kglaser, 15 mai 2010 - 12:44 .

[kglaser]

Xsause wrote...

Buggirl70 wrote...

I'd say amateur poets are worse, being that earnest can be quite excrutiating for those at the recieving end (think Vogon poetry and you know what I'm talking about).

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

/jumps out of the airlock, praying for the Heart of Gold to show up immediately

*imagines Garrus in a Japanese schoolgirl costume*

I miss Flammie.

Modifié par kglaser, 15 mai 2010 - 01:05 .

[Bugsie]

kglaser wrote...

Xsause wrote...

Buggirl70 wrote...

I'd say amateur poets are worse, being that earnest can be quite excrutiating for those at the recieving end (think Vogon poetry and you know what I'm talking about).

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly/thy micturations are to me/As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

/jumps out of the airlock, praying for the Heart of Gold to show up immediately

*imagines Garrus in a Japanese schoolgirl costume*

I miss Flammie.

As long as you have your towel you'll be right.

[kglaser]

Tareos wrote...

Oh gawd, I love this thread.

I used to like that cartoon until it dawned on me how cheesy it is.

Way to be classy, Clan V.

Look out, Gaia is PISSED!

[Sand King]

silentstephi wrote...

That was a joke.

[Bugsie]

WarlordFil wrote...

Sailor Jack is the second best thing in ever.

The first best thing in ever is Garrus.

My favourite ME Fanfic is "Memento Mori" by Yseult Blanco.

http://www.fanfictio.../1/Memento_Mori

Warning, M rated for some sexy stuff in later chapters. (as if anyone here doesn't like sexy garrus....)

There's also a story by this title about Thane that I admit I haven't read.

Fanfic varies in quality from jawdroppingly good (like this one) to entertaining to average to abysmal, but as long as the writer's having fun, even bad fanfic has a purpose. And sometimes bad fanfic can be awfully funny to read, especially after a beer or six.

I concur with your first statements, nothing can out-awesome Garrus, nothing I tells ya.

and Yes I liked that Memento Mori one too.

[kglaser]

silentstephi wrote...

This is almost too much win to be tolerated.
Something about the banana peel + the 3-finger airquotes is all kinds of
LMAO!!

Modifié par kglaser, 15 mai 2010 - 01:33 .

[LOLandStuff]

The much better looking outfit rather than that weird tasteless green.

[kglaser]

I just love that electric blue color. I've been noticing it IRL a lot lately...it just jumps out at me.

eta:  Memento Mori is one of my favorites, too.

Modifié par kglaser, 15 mai 2010 - 01:40 .