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[Nonvita]

SurelyForth wrote...

Wynne: My favorite Wardens, back from Denerim! Tell me all about your big day while I make you some tea!
Alistair: Well, first we walked over to the palace and Ser Cauthrien wouldn't let us into the Landsmeet.
PC: So we killed her.
Alistair: Then, we went into the Landsmeet. Loghain was crazy and accusing us of being Orlesian, and then Anora betrayed us. Somehow, Loghain lost and was a complete jerk about it, of course.
PC: So we killed him.
Alistair: So then this one made us king and queen. Anora didn't take it so well.
PC: So we killed her.
Alistair: What? No! We just locked her in the tower.
PC: I killed her in my mind, a little. And called her a ****. But that was out loud. 
Alistair: Then...we trekked back to the market district and we ran into this fellow, Hawkwind was his name, maybe? Anyway, seems his son wanted him dead.
PC: So we killed him.
Alistair: Thinking back on it, maybe we should have done that before we became the king and queen of Ferelden? I don't know, it seems like our "murdering people in the streets" days should be behind us. Maybe next time we should take care of business someplace not within view of the Chantry. Or maybe let Zevran handle it.
Wynne: Hmmm. Maybe Aneirin isn't my biggest regret.

My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy now because I couldn't stop laughing!

[Chasseresse]

Leliana: Welcome back to camp! We missed you!

PC: Uh... thank you? Is everything okay?

Leliana: It's just you all were gone such a long time... we were starting to worry.

Morrigan: Ah. Yes. Well it appears that the Warden here occasionally makes us stand around doing nothing for an indeterminate period of time.

Alistair: I thought she was just letting us rest in between fights.

Oghren: I thought she was giving me a chance to relieve myself.

Morrigan: No. It seems the Warden shares her exploits with us with others. They all sit around and discuss battles and performances.

Alistair: Did you say they discuss...? *blushes*

[draxynnus]

Zevran: And that's a second point for Morrigan!

[Sandtigress]

Chasseresse wrote...

Leliana: Welcome back to camp! We missed you!
PC: Uh... thank you? Is everything okay?
Leliana: It's just you all were gone such a long time... we were starting to worry.
Morrigan: Ah. Yes. Well it appears that the Warden here occasionally makes us stand around doing nothing for an indeterminate period of time.
Alistair: I thought she was just letting us rest in between fights.
Oghren: I thought she was giving me a chance to relieve myself.
Morrigan: No. It seems the Warden shares her exploits with us with others. They all sit around and discuss battles and performances.
Alistair: Did you say they discuss...? *blushes*

Hehehe, to go with this, because let's face it, most of us did this on our first runthrough.

Leliana: Welcome back to camp!  We missed you!  You were gone for SUCH a long time!
PC: Yes, well, we couldn't figure out how to get back.
Leliana:  Couldn't...get back?
Alistair: We wandered all over that map, gathered half our allies already...
Sten:  Why did you release me from my cage if you were not going to use my aid at all?
Morrigan:  Indeed.  We have been idling our way here in camp for months now.
PC:  Well, that icon in the corner of the map is hard to see and....just shut up!  I found it eventually, didn't I?
Dog:  *happy bark*

Modifié par Sandtigress, 21 février 2010 - 03:08 .

[SurelyForth]

 Camp scenarios are my favorite!

Leliana: Here we are! Did anyone miss us?
Sten: No.
Morrigan: What are you doing back so soon? And why are you not covered in blood?
Alistair: It's a terribly exciting story. Let's see, we got all the way to the top of the mountain, all ready to kick some dragon ass, only to discover that *she* sold the dragon summoning horn thingy. Again.
Sten: Then you will be leaving soon?
Alistair: Of course! I mean, what's another trek up a mountain...wait a minute. What's going on here?
Sten: Nothing. Why do you ask?
Alistair: Not nothing. Morrigan is actually at the main fire, and Oghren is wearing a...dress. Oghren is actually in women's clothing. I think. It's hard to tell with the beard.
Oghren: Don't get any ideas, boy. This is for art.
Leliana: Alistair, look! Sten is hiding a book behind his back! Is that "The Rose of Orlais"? Wynne was just looking for that.
Alistair: Are you...reading that book, Sten? Isn't it a bit frivolous for a [stenvoice]Sten of the Beresaad[/stenvoice]?
Sten: "Reading" implies intellectual gratification. The tawdry scribblings contained on the pages of this worthless collection of refuse are barely...
Oghren: Oh, sod it all. Yes, he's reading it. We all are! And sometimes I act out scenes.
Leliana: *gasp* You put on plays and you did not tell me!   
Oghren: You're more than welcome to join. You have to drool less than the dog, anyway.
Alistair: Are there..um...any parts in there for a handsome knight type?
Morrigan: Why? Do you know any handsome knight types?
Sten: Parshaara! Leave, all of you! You are ruining our club.
PC: What's this about a club? Awww, is this what you guys do while I'm gone? Looks like fun. Anyway, I actually have the horn this time so maybe we'll get to kill a dragon! I think I'm going to point out that we're wearing her children, just to make her extra flamey.
Alistair: This is so not fair.

Modifié par SurelyForth, 21 février 2010 - 05:00 .

[fightright2]

Just before the persuasion of Isabella and the foursome agreement.


Alistair: "Sooo, Zevran? You have had lots of... you know... experiences..right?"
Zevran: "Hmm? Yes, there is little that I have not done. Why do you ask? Is there something that you need help with?"
Alistair: "You mentioned you had roots?"
Zevran: *raises brow in puzzlement*  "Yes?"
Alistair: *glances over at Lelianna, the Warden, and Isabella*
Zevran: *scopes over the women and grins with widened eyes*  "For you shame me, my friend, for it should have been I to think of such a brilliant idea. And here I thought you to be stupid as everyone thinks you are."
Alistair: *grins with a slight smugness*  "Yes, I have them all fooled haven't I?"
Zevran: *nods with strong approval*  '"To say the least."

[TotoroTori]

Skadi_the_Evil_Elf wrote...

You people really should apply for jobs as banter writers for future expansions. Seriously. This stuff is making my belly ache laughing.

Now I'm wondering if the Bioware Team are reading these....

[Sandtigress]

Alistair: Soooo....guys, where's the bathroom?

[SurelyForth]

Sandtigress wrote...

Alistair: Soooo....guys, where's the bathroom?

Chamberpots, chamberpots everywhere, and not a chance to pee.

[mousestalker]

Zevran: Why did the our leader pay the hahren twenty sovereigns to provide for that little girl? Surely you must know, you two are very close, no?
Alistair: She told me to mind my own business. So, no I don't know. You want to know, you ask her.
Zevran: I think I would rather keep on living. That seems a safer plan.

Modifié par mousestalker, 23 février 2010 - 06:17 .

[Sandtigress]

Morrigan: And why are you pouting now?

Alistair: Never mind, you don't want to listen.

Morrigan: Oh come now, you know you want to tell.

Alistair: Its just that....why doesn't anyone ever acknowledge that I'm a Grey Warden too? Its always "Look, the Warden is here!" "Huzzah, the Warden saved the day!" I mean, there are two of us, you know? Loghain didn't even pass my description on to those soldiers in Lothering, it was just her.

Morrigan: So you are jealous that half of Thedas is out for her blood and not yours?

Alistair: I...I...I hate you.

[Freckles04]

SurelyForth wrote...

Wynne: My favorite Wardens, back from Denerim! Tell me all about your big day while I make you some tea!
Alistair: Well, first we walked over to the palace and Ser Cauthrien wouldn't let us into the Landsmeet.
PC: So we killed her.
Alistair: Then, we went into the Landsmeet. Loghain was crazy and accusing us of being Orlesian, and then Anora betrayed us. Somehow, Loghain lost and was a complete jerk about it, of course.
PC: So we killed him.
Alistair: So then this one made us king and queen. Anora didn't take it so well.
PC: So we killed her.
Alistair: What? No! We just locked her in the tower.
PC: I killed her in my mind, a little. And called her a ****. But that was out loud. 
Alistair: Then...we trekked back to the market district and we ran into this fellow, Hawkwind was his name, maybe? Anyway, seems his son wanted him dead.
PC: So we killed him.
Alistair: Thinking back on it, maybe we should have done that before we became the king and queen of Ferelden? I don't know, it seems like our "murdering people in the streets" days should be behind us. Maybe next time we should take care of business someplace not within view of the Chantry. Or maybe let Zevran handle it.
Wynne: Hmmm. Maybe Aneirin isn't my biggest regret.

OH. MY. MAKER.



Pretty typical day in Ferelden, actually.

[Sandtigress]

A serious one.



Leliana: How could you? *pause with no answer* After all you two have been through, how could you just break her heart like that?

Alistair: Do you think I wanted to? I never wanted this.

Leliana: Then don't. You're going to be king. You can make the rules, whatever you want them to be.

Alistair: Some things can't be changed. I'm....we're doing what's best for Ferelden. She understands that, why can't you?

Leliana: Then she is a better person than I am.

Alistair: *quietly* Yes, yes she is.



In context, best done after PC picks the "You'll be a good king" line during the post-Landsmeet break-up.

[Sandtigress]

Because you have to wonder why this one never actually happened.


Alistair: Sooooo, Zevran. You're good at this sort of thing. What if there's someone special, and you'd like to....
Zevran: Seduce them?
Alistair: Well....not exactly, but I guess so. What would you do?
Zevran: My dear Alistair, why did you not tell me you felt this way?
Alistair: The way Wynne talks about it, it seems like everyone knows...
Zevran: Alas, it seems I am always the last to be informed. Well, why do we not go to my tent, I can show you some massage techniques I learned in the ****house.
Alistair: In the.....do you really think that would work?
Zevran: It has worked in the past for me before. Why not now?
Alistair: I don't know if she'd like that sort of thing...
Zevran: She? Ah Alistair, how you wound me!
Alistair: How I...you mean you thought...you...and me....and...toGETher?!
Zevran: *chuckles* My friend, you are much too easy to tease.

Modifié par Sandtigress, 10 mars 2010 - 01:23 .

[Freckles04]

Sandtigress wrote...

Because you have to wonder why this one never actually happened.


Alistair: Sooooo, Zevran. You're good at this sort of thing. What if there's someone special, and you'd like to....
Zevran: Seduce them?
Alistair: Well....not exactly, but I guess so. What would you do?
Zevran: My dear Alistair, why did you not tell me you felt this way?
Alistair: The way Wynne talks about it, it seems like everyone knows...
Zevran: Alas, it seems I am always the last to be informed. Well, why do we not go to my tent, I can show you some massage techniques I learned in the ****house.
Alistair: In the.....do you really think that would work?
Zevran: It has worked in the past for me before. Why not now?
Alistair: I don't know if she'd like that sort of thing...
Zevran: She? Ah Alistair, how you wound me!
Alistair: How I...you mean you thought...you...and me....and...toGETher?!
Zevran: *chuckles* My friend, you are much too easy to tease.

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

:::giggles:::

[SurelyForth]

Sandtigress wrote...

Because you have to wonder why this one never actually happened.


Alistair: Sooooo, Zevran. You're good at this sort of thing. What if there's someone special, and you'd like to....
Zevran: Seduce them?
Alistair: Well....not exactly, but I guess so. What would you do?
Zevran: My dear Alistair, why did you not tell me you felt this way?
Alistair: The way Wynne talks about it, it seems like everyone knows...
Zevran: Alas, it seems I am always the last to be informed. Well, why do we not go to my tent, I can show you some massage techniques I learned in the ****house.
Alistair: In the.....do you really think that would work?
Zevran: It has worked in the past for me before. Why not now?
Alistair: I don't know if she'd like that sort of thing...
Zevran: She? Ah Alistair, how you wound me!
Alistair: How I...you mean you thought...you...and me....and...toGETher?!
Zevran: *chuckles* My friend, you are much too easy to tease.

 This reminds me of one of my (inexplicably) favorite PC/Alistair exchanges:

Alistair: What about Zevran? I don't like the idea of leading him on.
PC: You're not leading him on. 

[Sarah1281]

Shale: It did what? I will not stand for this!

Morrigan: And remember, you didn't hear it from me.

Alistair: Um, Morrigan?

Morrigan: *long-suffering sigh* Yes?

Alistair: Why do you keep telling our companions things that we've done that will cause them to leave? First Wynne and Leliana and now Shale.We can't defeat a Blight all by ourselves you know.

Morrigan: Au contraire that is exactly what seems to be expected from us and only our illustirus leader, the dog, you, and I ever actually leave the camp, what does it matter if I clear it out a little? It's a little...cramped.

Alistair: You camp way on the other side of the clearing. If it weren't for the fire, we wouldn't even be able to see you you're so far away.

Morrigan: That I feel cramped anyway says a great deal about how closely everyone else camps.

Alistair: You still shouldn't chase away the only people who are actually willing to come with us and fight.

Morrigan: I'm not FORCING them to leave. If anythin, tis our leaders actions that keep doing it. I haven't even had to lie. And apparently she hasn't thought to, either...

Alistair: I'm telling on you.

Morrigan: Yes, by all means further prove to us that you are, in fact, an overgrown child. Tis truly a shame.

Alistair: *suspicious* What is?

Morrigan: I was thinking of getting rid of Zevran next...

Alistair: Maybe I'm being too hasty. If a little destroyed Paragon and desecrated ashes are enough to chase these people away, they obviously aren't fully committed to facing the Blight.

Morrigan: *smirk: Good boy.

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Sandtigress wrote...

Because you have to wonder why this one never actually happened.


Alistair: Sooooo, Zevran. You're good at this sort of thing. What if there's someone special, and you'd like to....
Zevran: Seduce them?
Alistair: Well....not exactly, but I guess so. What would you do?
Zevran: My dear Alistair, why did you not tell me you felt this way?
Alistair: The way Wynne talks about it, it seems like everyone knows...
Zevran: Alas, it seems I am always the last to be informed. Well, why do we not go to my tent, I can show you some massage techniques I learned in the ****house.
Alistair: In the.....do you really think that would work?
Zevran: It has worked in the past for me before. Why not now?
Alistair: I don't know if she'd like that sort of thing...
Zevran: She? Ah Alistair, how you wound me!
Alistair: How I...you mean you thought...you...and me....and...toGETher?!
Zevran: *chuckles* My friend, you are much too easy to tease.

Oh, this. Bioware, start taking notes!

[SurelyForth]

Alistair: So...just so you guys know? When someone walks into a room and says "we need to talk" to one person in particular, the polite thing would be to excuse yourselves.
Morrigan: Or the someone who needs privacy can find it himself.
Alistair: Right. Well, I'm very sorry for not thinking clearly. I've had a long day becoming king and all that. What's your excuse?
Morrigan: I was hoping to see you cry. 
Leliana: I just wanted be there for her...in case she needed to be comforted.
Zevran: I, too, would have offered comfort...of a sort. Can one be comforted vigorously?
Wynne: I had hoped there would be  an opportunity for me to point out that such unpleasant discussion could have been avoided, had someone just listened to me in the first place.
Shale: I was busy thinking that maybe birds aren't the most annoying things in the world.
Sten: I stayed because the dog did.
Oghren: I just wanted to see someone get slapped. Or naked. Isn't that how most of your Grey Warden "meetings" end, anyway?
Alistair: What? Just...forget I said anything. I really should have known better.
Morrigan: Perhaps you should consider that a motto for your coat of arms. Seems most fitting.

Modifié par SurelyForth, 10 mars 2010 - 03:32 .

[Sandtigress]

Hehehehhehe, another classic one, SurelyForth!!

Zevran: I, too, would have offered comfort...of a sort. Can one be comforted vigorously?

Best Zevran line ever!!!!! 

Modifié par Sandtigress, 10 mars 2010 - 03:37 .

[Rake21]

Wynne:  Morrigan, I realize we had not gotten off to a very good start.  I wish to make ammends.  Perhaps I could help with the translations of your mother's grimore?  I have years of experience with ancient texts.

Morrigan:  Many, many years...

Wynne:  Excuse me?

Morrigan:  Nothing.  As it turns out, I am having trouble with one particular line that has to do with better health and longevity.  Here...

Wynne:  Hmm.... Ancient Antivan...  It says... No, that can't be right.

Morrigan:  What does it say?

Wynne:  That's just...

Morrigan:  Spit it out!

Wynne:  "Drink more oveltine"

Morrigan: ... Tis not what I expected.

Wynne:  I mean no offense, but I believe your mother is crazy.

Morrigan:  Apparently

[Rake21]

And another:

Ogrhen:  You know, Sten, you're alright.

Sten:  I'm so glad you approve.

Ogrhen:  Ah, don't be like that.  I mean, for a giant with the personaliy of granite, you're a good guy.  I'd like to buy you a drink when this is all over.

Sten:  I don't "drink".

Ogrhen:  What?!  Don't drink?!

Sten:  Normally no.  There are certain occasions when we are permitted to drink fermented drinks.

Ogrhen:  All of ya?  At once?

Sten:  No, there is always a group selected to maintain order, but they are the minority.

Ogrhen:  Bet that's a great party...

Sten:  The property damage during these occasions is often greater than that of the destructive seasonal storms of my homeland.

Ogrhen: ... Hey, Warden!  I gotta request on where we vacation after we kill the damn Archdemon.

Modifié par Rake21, 12 mars 2010 - 12:19 .

[DiatribeEQ]

Here's my best one possible:



Oghren: "Oh man. All that ale & cheese I ate last night is tearing up my belly!"

Allistair: "Serves you right. I told you not to overdo it."

Oghren: "Telling a dwarf to not 'Overdo' anything ale related? Why, I shoul....*ugh*.... I'll be back as soon as I can."

Oghren wanders off behind a nearby tree.



Screen fades out, then fades back in with Oghren reappearing.



Oghren: "Ha Ha! I feel much better now. But for some odd reason, the bark on that tree is pealing on one side." *rubs his chin, pondering the reasons.*

Allistair: "Remind me to stay upwind of that area, thank you very much."

[Skadi_the_Evil_Elf]

Rake21 wrote...

Wynne:  Morrigan, I realize we had not gotten off to a very good start.  I wish to make ammends.  Perhaps I could help with the translations of your mother's grimore?  I have years of experience with ancient texts.

Morrigan:  Many, many years...

Wynne:  Excuse me?

Morrigan:  Nothing.  As it turns out, I am having trouble with one particular line that has to do with better health and longevity.  Here...

Wynne:  Hmm.... Ancient Antivan...  It says... No, that can't be right.

Morrigan:  What does it say?

Wynne:  That's just...

Morrigan:  Spit it out!

Wynne:  "Drink more oveltine"

Morrigan: ... Tis not what I expected.

Wynne:  I mean no offense, but I believe your mother is crazy.

Morrigan:  Apparently

LMAO! Drink more Ovaltine!

maybe that's what Flemeth's grimoire really said, and Morrigan was so pissed off that there wasn't some great magic secret!

[Rake21]

PC:  By the Maker!  Where are your pants, Ogrhen?!

Ogrhen:  Heh, I hid them so the damn mutt couldn't steal them!

PC:  No, no!  We're not doing this!  Put your pants back on!

Ogrhen:  But bos-

PC:  NOW!

Alistair:  Zevran, can I borrow one of your daggers?  I need to stab myself in the eyes until I un-see that.

Zevran:  Me first, my friend.  Wait your turn.