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[Special_Agent_Goodwrench]

Something between Alistair and my ax-crazy Aeducan.



PC: I want some action! Action dammit!

Alistair: I...

PC: You...

Alistair: Me?

PC: You... Fight me boy!

Alistair: Umm... excuse me?

PC: I draw the sharp stick and point it at you, you draw your sharp stick and point it at me, then you try your best not to die. Understood?

Alistair: I don't think-

PC: I'll go easy on you, yer bleeding wuss! The worst that could happen is you losing your arm. Big deal!

Alistair: Big deal?!

PC: I'ts only a flesh wound... A minor one at that.

Alistair: For the love of Maker, why am I always surrounded by psychopaths?! NO, I won't fight you!

PC: Grrr... I'll murder you in your sleep, boy.

Alistair: That's it! I'm moving to Morrigan's side of the camp.

[IoneWanderer101]

Aldridgeguy wrote...

WARDEN = PC

LELIANI - I am here for you
WARDEN - Eh ?
LELIANI - You looked like you wanted to talk to me ?
WARDEN - Erm, no, actually, I was trying to loot that dead Genlock you are standing next to
LELIANI - Oh, sorry..........
WARDEN - No problem
LELIANI - I am here for you
WARDEN - What?
LELIANI - You wanted to talk ?
WARDEN - NO, I was trying to loot that corpse you are stood right next to
LELIANI - My bad, sorry.....
WARDEN - *sigh*
LELIANI - I am here for you....
WARDEN - Oh for the love of god, go and stand against that wall over there so I can loot this corpse in peace !!

( players on the PS3 or XBOX will probably better understand this, it's probably an easier interface with a point and click mouse lol )

Approval +100000
I know what you mean.
Warden: Ah this dragon should have a reasonable drop.
Alistair: What can I do for you?
Warden: FFS for like the 6th time today Alistair get lost! Just go and sit in the corner and think about your actions!
Warden: Turns to dog *tuts* Stupid Alistair, even you are smart enough to understand that when I'm looting a corpse the last thing i need is a quaint little chat .

PC: Hi Sandal 

Sandal: Enchantment?

PC: No, hello. 

Sandal: Hello

PC: Better, now can you do any enchantments for me? 

Sandal: ENCHANTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PC: Sandal shut the hell up!!!! and do the enchantment. 

Sandal: Goodbye. 

PC: Suit yourself. *walks away* 

PC: *stops*            I can't believe I just got beaten by Sandal, there may be more to him than enchantments. *hint hint nudge nudge* 

Modifié par IoneWanderer101, 06 juin 2010 - 11:28 .

[IoneWanderer101]

Alistair: Is anyone not in on this game?
Sandal: Enchantment?
Alistair: well at least Sandal isn't in on it.
Sandal: Goodbye
Alistair: What?
Sandal: Goodbye
Alistair: You want me to go?
Sandal: Goodbye
Alistair: But...Why-where?
Zevran: Now even sandal has a point.

Modifié par IoneWanderer101, 06 juin 2010 - 11:48 .

[Dileos]

Zevran: Everything alright my friend?

Warden: Alistair, my best friend walks out on me, I killed some dragon demon hybrid thing last friday, the world almost ended, Leliana and I broke up, Morrigan left with my demon baby after a one night stand, Arl Howe told me how my mother begged for her life, I couldn't romance a single female elf , Riordan is a pancake now, and Bhelen turned out the be the Vladamir Lenin of dwarves...

Anora: Warden, Erlina and I are going shopping. I shall be back later.

Warden: and my damn wife insists on calling me "Warden" instead of Will..NO Zev, everything is just fine!

Loghain: Did I ever tell you about time Anora skinned her knee?

Warden:....remind me why I didn't kill you....

Modifié par Dileos, 07 juin 2010 - 06:15 .

[Asdara]

Dileos wrote...

Zevran: Everything alright my friend?

Warden: Alistair, my best friend walks out on me, I killed some dragon demon hybrid thing last friday, the world almost ended, Leliana and I broke up, Morrigan left with my demon baby after a one night stand, Arl Howe told me how my mother begged for her life, I couldn't romance a single female elf , Riordan is a pancake now, and Bhelen turned out the be the Vladamir Lenin of dwarves...

Anora: Warden, Erlina and I are going shopping. I shall be back later.

Warden: and my damn wife insists on calling me "Warden" instead of Will..NO Zev, everything is just fine!

Loghain: Did I ever tell you about time Anora skinned her knee?

Warden:....remind me why I didn't kill you....

Along those same lines... 

Warden: So, you dumped me because I couldn't give you children yes?
Alastair: I don't want to talk about it
Warden: Not because I was an elf - or so you said.
Alastair: Please not again. <whimper>
Warden: I'm just asking because Anora's a dry husk you know.
Alastair: ....
Warden: Even Eamon wanted Calian to put her aside because of it.
Alastair: ....
Warden: That would be your HALF BROTHER if you remember him.
Alastair: You KNOW I love you - dammit woman I had to appease the nobles! YOU made me be KING! I hate this!
Warden: Uh-huh. Going to try and track down your demon-baby with Morrigan when Anora fails to supply? Nevermind. I'm going with Sten far far away from you. Have a nice life.

[Giggles_Manically]

Howe: So here you are the last of the Couslands, not for much longer!

Warden:Hello my name is Thomas Cousland you killed my family prepare to die.

Howe:Stop saying that! <gets slashed> AH!

Warden: Hello my name is Thomas Cousland you killed my FAMILY prepare to DIE.

Howe:STOP IT! <gets stabbed> urh!

W:HELLO MY NAME IS THOMAS COUSLAND YOU KILLED MY FAMILY PREPARE TO DIE!

Howe: NO stop, I'll give you anything damn it!

W: I want my family back you son of a B@tch! <decapitates Howe>



sorry that is my favourite movie ever.

[Asdara]

Giggles_Manically wrote...

Howe: So here you are the last of the Couslands, not for much longer!
Warden:Hello my name is Thomas Cousland you killed my family prepare to die.
Howe:Stop saying that! AH!
Warden: Hello my name is Thomas Cousland you killed my FAMILY prepare to DIE.
Howe:STOP IT! urh!
W:HELLO MY NAME IS THOMAS COUSLAND YOU KILLED MY FAMILY PREPARE TO DIE!
Howe: NO stop, I'll give you anything damn it!
W: I want my family back you son of a B@tch!

sorry that is my favourite movie ever.

That would be epic.

[Corker]

If we're doing movie quotes...


Brosca: Stand away from that elf woman, you thugs!
Devera: I'll give my guards their orders, thank you.
Brosca: Wait, what?  You're an elf and you're working with these guys?
Devera: I am a loyal and trusted servant of the Minrathous Circle.  You would not believe our health benefits package.
Brosca: And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers. By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
Devera: It beats being covered in ****.
Brosca: Well, now you're going to see the violence inherent in the system!

Modifié par Corker, 08 juin 2010 - 04:20 .

[Asdara]

Leliana: The Maker came to me in a dream and told me...

Mage Warden: You know dreams happen in the Fade right?

Leliana: You're not listening! It was the Maker!

Mage Warden: It might have been a demon. Or some other spirit I guess. Wynne says some are nice... not that she'd be bias.

Leliana: A demon?! No! It was the Maker!!

Mage Warden: Ok, it was the Maker, fine. If "The Maker" sends you any more warnings, make sure you tell that abomination Wynne over there. She can have her spirit fact-check them for you. I'm going to be killing darkspawn, kay? Thanks.

[Giggles_Manically]

DN: One last thing Bhelen

Bhelen: What is that brother?

DN.. I'LL BE BACK.

[Aurelet]

Sandtigress wrote...

Zevran: Leliana, you have been with our dear Warden for some time now, yes? Almost since the beginning?
Leliana: Yes, why do you ask?
Zevran: It is just....I do not understand what drives her.
Leliana: Drives her? She is a Warden. She is pledged to stop the Blight.
Zevran: No no, that I get. It is this looting thing.
Leliana: "Looting thing"?
Zevran: Yes. I understand making us pick every chest that we come across. I understand opening every cabinet and looking in every vase. I even understand rifling all the dead bodies we walk over. But what I simply cannot fathom is why she searches random piles of filth and rubble for items that we have no need for. No normal person passes by a pile of dragon dung and sticks their hand inside to see if there is something interesting within, do they? Was there some traumatic experience early in your travels? Did you all go hungry for weeks on end so that every item of value that can be sold should be picked up?
Leliana: No, nothing like that.
Alistair: Trust me, she's been like that from the beginning. I don't understand it either.

OMFG.  I think I laughed so hard at this one I stopped breathing for a minute

[Lintanis]

Aurelet wrote...

Sandtigress wrote...

Zevran: Leliana, you have been with our dear Warden for some time now, yes? Almost since the beginning?
Leliana: Yes, why do you ask?
Zevran: It is just....I do not understand what drives her.
Leliana: Drives her? She is a Warden. She is pledged to stop the Blight.
Zevran: No no, that I get. It is this looting thing.
Leliana: "Looting thing"?
Zevran: Yes. I understand making us pick every chest that we come across. I understand opening every cabinet and looking in every vase. I even understand rifling all the dead bodies we walk over. But what I simply cannot fathom is why she searches random piles of filth and rubble for items that we have no need for. No normal person passes by a pile of dragon dung and sticks their hand inside to see if there is something interesting within, do they? Was there some traumatic experience early in your travels? Did you all go hungry for weeks on end so that every item of value that can be sold should be picked up?
Leliana: No, nothing like that.
Alistair: Trust me, she's been like that from the beginning. I don't understand it either.

OMFG.  I think I laughed so hard at this one I stopped breathing for a minute

And it is so true  loot loot loot 

[Asdara]

Lintanis wrote...

Aurelet wrote...

Sandtigress wrote...

Zevran: Leliana, you have been with our dear Warden for some time now, yes? Almost since the beginning?
Leliana: Yes, why do you ask?
Zevran: It is just....I do not understand what drives her.
Leliana: Drives her? She is a Warden. She is pledged to stop the Blight.
Zevran: No no, that I get. It is this looting thing.
Leliana: "Looting thing"?
Zevran: Yes. I understand making us pick every chest that we come across. I understand opening every cabinet and looking in every vase. I even understand rifling all the dead bodies we walk over. But what I simply cannot fathom is why she searches random piles of filth and rubble for items that we have no need for. No normal person passes by a pile of dragon dung and sticks their hand inside to see if there is something interesting within, do they? Was there some traumatic experience early in your travels? Did you all go hungry for weeks on end so that every item of value that can be sold should be picked up?
Leliana: No, nothing like that.
Alistair: Trust me, she's been like that from the beginning. I don't understand it either.

OMFG.  I think I laughed so hard at this one I stopped breathing for a minute

And it is so true  loot loot loot 

It is funny - but I would argue that the complete lack of funding through the early part of the game would somewhat justify this tendency.  I mean... we start with what?  A handful of silvers and are responsible for feeding, clothing, armoring, transportation costs, lodging, and Maker knows what else for an ever growing number of companions directly plus the additional pressure of giving as much assistance as possible to the "armies" under our banner?  Seems like a good reason to be thrifty to me!

[Corker]

Since some folks requested I post it when done...

All the conversations I saw my party having.

Content warnings: Lots of cussing, screenshots of gore

[Sarah1281]

Corker wrote...

Since some folks requested I post it when done...

All the conversations I saw my party having.

Content warnings: Lots of cussing, screenshots of gore

You know, I was surprised how touching parts of this was given that it was a parody. Well done.

No funeral scene? 

[Corker]

Thank you. 

No funeral scene, although the Alistair/Zevran dialogues in my head were mighty tempting.  It was Lorelai's story, from her POV, and it ended when she did.

And I was seriously not going to come up with a better ending image/line than the one I have. It might be a horrible cliche but it's also an honest callback to the Lake Calenhad scene.

[Avilia]

Wow. Thank you again for putting that up Corker. I've enjoyed following Lorelei's story.



I won't deny the end put a tear in my eye

[Giggles_Manically]

Nice I love how you quoted Cairdin to Morrigan there, well done. I always hated not being able to say something beyond the wimpy "we needs you!" or the "YOU @#(^@ I hatez you". I loved the ending there.

[Sarah1281]

I didn't get the Caridin quote. What was it?

[Giggles_Manically]

L: Atrasta nal tunsha. May you always find your way in the dark.

L: And I hope you find your way out of the dark, someday.



Isint that what Cairidin says before commiting suicide?

[Sarah1281]

Giggles_Manically wrote...

L: Atrasta nal tunsha. May you always find your way in the dark.
L: And I hope you find your way out of the dark, someday.

Isint that what Cairidin says before commiting suicide?

Let me check...whow, apparently the first line posted is what he says. Nice catch.

[Giggles_Manically]

Sarah1281 wrote...

Giggles_Manically wrote...

L: Atrasta nal tunsha. May you always find your way in the dark.
L: And I hope you find your way out of the dark, someday.

Isint that what Cairidin says before commiting suicide?

Let me check...whow, apparently the first line posted is what he says. Nice catch.

Cairidin is practiacally the only NPC that ever disuaded me from doing something my second dwarf was going to keep the anvil, but him saying 'casteless as well were forced to be golems" I said ah nugs thats Rica, and Mom.. and me! His very loud NO! and begging you to stop this terrible machine from being used was also emotional. Few things also touched me as deeply in the end when he simply says that and jumps. I was like wow, suddenly doing the deep roads was worth it.

[Sarah1281]

Giggles_Manically wrote...

Sarah1281 wrote...

Giggles_Manically wrote...

L: Atrasta nal tunsha. May you always find your way in the dark.
L: And I hope you find your way out of the dark, someday.

Isint that what Cairidin says before commiting suicide?

Let me check...whow, apparently the first line posted is what he says. Nice catch.

Cairidin is practiacally the only NPC that ever disuaded me from doing something my second dwarf was going to keep the anvil, but him saying 'casteless as well were forced to be golems" I said ah nugs thats Rica, and Mom.. and me! His very loud NO! and begging you to stop this terrible machine from being used was also emotional. Few things also touched me as deeply in the end when he simply says that and jumps. I was like wow, suddenly doing the deep roads was worth it.

I haven't sided with him in quite awhile. Oddly enough, I've also never ended a game with the Anvil as I always end up talking Branka into suicide as that feels like the better choice for Oghren and so she can realize what she's done and do something to try and make her sacrifice of her entire House a little less pointless by destroying it herself.

[Giggles_Manically]

Wow six playthroughs and I have never kept the anvil since I heard it was totally evil. Also I dont want to lose Shale since she is the backbone to my party setups. I never knew you could convince Branka to commit suicide. What does Oghern say then for the third option?

[Sarah1281]

Giggles_Manically wrote...

Wow six playthroughs and I have never kept the anvil since I heard it was totally evil. Also I dont want to lose Shale since she is the backbone to my party setups. I never knew you could convince Branka to commit suicide. What does Oghern say then for the third option?

I never take Shale anymore and lie that we didn't see her.

This is how it plays out:
Branka: There it is. An ugly lump of hot metal to go over a couple of empty heads. (VO: Mocking, thinks that making a crown to crown a king is beneath her) Now leave. It will take me some time to fully realize the mysteries here (VO: Dismissive. Wants people to go away so she can get back to her obsession).
PC: The Anvil is evil, Branka. You can't keep using it.
Branka: I can hear it. It wants to be used again. It speaks in a hundred different voices. Surely, you can hear them. (VO: Demented. She's obsessed and kind of crazy)
(PC: You mean the voices of all the dead souls trapped inside?
Branka: The dead...? YOu think that's who I hear? But...No! It's the Anvil, calling to be used... (VO: startled by the player's suggestion, then resisting -- if she believes, it makes her a monster, not the hero she thinks she is))
(PC: The Anvil's driven you crazy. I hear  nothing.
Branka: But they call to me. I have heard them for two years, just beyond the tunnel, speaking to me...(VO: Distant, kind of crazy))
Oghren: Did you hear what Caridin said? Hundreds of people were bound into golems, trapped inside the Anvil when their bodies were destroyed! That's who you hear! (VO: Insistent, like he's trying to drum some concept into her head)
Branka: No, it's not true! You lie! (VO: Protesting, like her world is falling apart)
(PC: Fine, keep the Anvil if it means so much to you.
Branka: Once Orzammar settles on its petty king, have him send for me. (VO: Pleased, lighthearted))
PC: Think clearly and asks yourself where it's power comes from/How many more lives will be lost for your power?
Branka: But...I will not believe that was Caridin. Caridin would never turn on his own invention. He was a genius, the best of us all. (VO: Trying to convince herself, sounds crazy. If seh believes, it makes her a monster, not the hero she thinks she is)
(If persuade is less than four and intimidate less than six
Branka: No! You're trying to take the Anvil from me. I won't listen to you. It's mine. MINE! (VO: Crazy and obsessed))
Branka: H-He must have been wrong. The Anvil was Orzammar's salvation...
(PC: Perhaps you're right. Victory is worth any cost.
Branka: No. No, Caridin himself once said, "It is not the victory, but the achievment." This...this is wrong. (VO: Finally coming to her sense and seeing the error of her ways))
(PC: Caridin was ready to die to see the Anvil destroyed/The Anvil owns you now. There is nothing left of you)
Branka: The voices...they've been calling me for son long, and I didn't even...Ahh, Hespith tried to tell me, but I wouldn't listen. (VO: Realization crashing down on her that she has become a monster.)
Oghren: You have to make this right. The Branka I knew would do what is right. (VO: Warm but firm)
Branka: The Anvil must be destroyed. It's an abomination. (VO: It hurts her to say this but she knows it's true) Go. Return to Orzammar. It's better they never know what became of me. (VO: Sad, haunted)

I personally find this to be more moving as she realizes the full weight of what she's done, Oghren was able to help her do this and so his presence was justified, Caridin wouldn't even have minded since he kills himself anyway and only stuck around to see the Anvil destroyed.