29 réponses à ce sujet

[Zhaosen]

http://www.twiturm.com/2ju2p

So heres the situation...
Dude is with girlfriend for 5 years...
They been living together for 3 years...
She accidentally "finds" the proposal ring...
And then.....

Hilarity (or cruelty)

[Steel Moon]

It started out funny, but once they started in with the soundbites at the end that was a little unnecessary. I still laughed though, but then again I'm a horrible person. It's her own fault for cheating anyway...

[Godak]

*Cringe*



Oh...my...lord...That was evil!

[Seagloom]

It got a bit cruel towards the end, but I find it hard to sympathize with cheaters. There are very few circumstances where I feel sorry for those who stray behind someone's back.

[Godak]

I think it should have been done in private. The two radio hosts did not help matters. They just kept egging the guy on. Do I sympathize with the girl? Hell no. Do I feel it was unnessecarily cruel? Absolutely.

[Zhaosen]

Note, it was not the hosts idea to call the girl =). It was the guy who got cheated.
Thankfully i havent been in his shoes (longest relationship ive had was 5-6 months, give or take)
But i can see why the dude would want this, 5 years in a relationship? 3 years living together...and then she cheats? cmon.

Its funny but when guys get caught we just man up and say it straight, this chick, starts st-st-stut-t-ering.

Modifié par Zhaosen, 20 février 2010 - 06:09 .

[Seagloom]

It's expected behavior, really. Break-ups of a long term relationship wrecked by cheating rarely end amicably. Considering he could have thrown all her stuff out into the street and changed his locks, or vandalized her vehicle (if she had one), or set something of hers on fire, I'd say his approach was almost benign next to what he could have done instead. Nice? No. But most people aren't understanding and patient when they feel betrayed. It takes an uncommonly secure individual to be cheated on and back off without so much as a twinge of anger. At least if they care about infidelity in a relationship.

What he did was definitely immature and idiotic though. No question. I didn't find it funny. Deriving entertainment from two people's suffering isn't my thing.

Modifié par Seagloom, 20 février 2010 - 06:18 .

[Dark Lilith]

Zhaosen wrote..

Its funny but when guys get caught we just man up and say it straight, this chick, starts st-st-stut-t-ering.

horsecrap,pardon my english!!! More men cheat than women do.And men always make an excuse too.Cheaters get what they deserve for either sex!

[Zhaosen]

 .....

[BrotherJason]

Seagloom wrote...

It's expected behavior, really. Break-ups of a long term relationship wrecked by cheating rarely end amicably. Considering he could have thrown all her stuff out into the street and changed his locks, or vandalized her vehicle (if she had one), or set something of hers on fire, I'd say his approach was almost benign. Nice? No. But most people aren't understanding and patient when they feel betrayed. It takes an uncommonly secure individual to be cheated on and back off without so much as a twinge of anger. At least if they care about infidelity in a relationship.

What he did was definitely immature and idiotic though. No question. I didn't find it funny. Deriving entertainment from two people's suffering isn't my thing.

I entirely agree with you on that one. Besides him being immature I don't think he truly loved her either, since otherwise he would have at least consider forgiving her once she told him she thinks of it as a mistake. But he wasn't even listening. There's a big difference from having a crush on someone, or being together for 5 years out of necessity or convenience, to actually loving each other. No relationship goes without sacrifice and every one of them puts it to the test. The big question always is what's more important: the sacrifice, or the relationship?  Most people seem to draw the line when cheating is involved. However I don't think a relationship can work without trust. And trust means at least trying to believe the other even if lied to once. If she has an interest in the relationship she'll keep her word, if not it was a lost cause to begin with. So I don't see a point in not giving any second chances. Nobody's perfect after all.

[Statulos]

I just love this kind of moments. Misery is sometimes so much fun...

Modifié par Statulos, 20 février 2010 - 06:37 .

[Seagloom]

@BrotherJason - I agree a relationship can't work without trust. I disagree about forgiving someone after they cheat on me. Lying about going out with your friends when you should have been running an errand? Okay. Lying about forgetting a holiday or anniversary? Also acceptable. Lying about using money to buy something instead of paying a bill? Sure. All of those things would infuriate me but I wouldn't break up with someone over it. At least as long as the behavior wasn't repeated.

Cheating is where I draw the line though. There are no strikes with cheating. I see it not only as a violation of trust I put in another, but a clear sign they do not respect me or our relationship. The lies I mentioned earlier are severe enough to push me near the breaking point, but I can see myself cutting a person some slack if we were living together for years. But cheating? I don't care if we've been married for decades. There's no way I'm going to forgive anyone for stomping over my heat. If they really cared, they wouldn't have done it in the first place. Or here's a novel concept... they would've approached me with what's bothering them instead of stewing in private, then screwing around behind my back.

If nobody's perfect then this is where one of my imperfections lie. I don't forgive cheaters. Period.

Modifié par Seagloom, 20 février 2010 - 07:09 .

[Godak]

Seagloom wrote...

Cheating is where I draw the line though. There are no strikes with cheating. I see it not only as a violation of trust I put in another, but a clear sign they do not respect me or our relationship. The lies I mentioned earlier are severe enough to push me near the breaking point, but I can see myself cutting a person some slack if we were living together for years. But cheating? I don't care if we've been married for decades. There's no way I'm going to forgive anyone for stomping over my heat. If they really cared, they wouldn't have done it in the first place. Or here's a novel concept... they would've approached me with what's bothering them instead of stewing in private, then screwing around behind my back.

If nobody's perfect then this is where one of my imperfections lie. I don't forgive cheaters. Period.

Again, I disagree with the whole "Oooh! I'm going to break up with my girlfriend on the radio!", but I totally agree with cheating = nonononono! However, I also get the feeling that we may be missing some of Ashley's side of the story. From what we hear, "the kiss" happened at a bar. We have no idea if she was drunk, or if her friend was taking advantage of her. It would have been more productive if Chris had the balls to confront her in person. On the radio, we just got two talk show host dudes laughing it up. If Ashley truly cheated on her boyfriend, and she was in a position where she had a full understanding of what she was doing, then yes, she deserved to be broken up with. But his whole "in public" thing really gets to me. She pretty much gets attacked by three men for cheating, and she has the guts to stay on the air, admit she was wrong, and when she tries to give some explanation (I'm not saying it would have been a good explanation/acceptable excuse, but still...) she is immediately shot down. All we really hear is Chris's one sided story (told to him by "a friend" no less), and Ashley admit that, yes, she did kiss Eric.

[BrotherJason]

Seagloom wrote...
@BrotherJason - I agree a relationship can't work without trust. I disagree about forgiving someone after they cheat on me. Lying about going out with your friends when you should have been running an errand? Okay. Lying about forgetting a holiday or anniversary? Also acceptable. Lying about using money to buy something instead of paying a bill? Sure. All of those things would infuriate me but I wouldn't break up with someone over it. At least as long as the behavior wasn't repeated.

Cheating is where I draw the line though. There are no strikes with cheating. I see it not only as a violation of trust I put in another, but a clear sign they do not respect me or our relationship. The lies I mentioned earlier are severe enough to push me near the breaking point, but I can see myself cutting a person some slack if we were living together for years. But cheating? I don't care if we've been married for decades. There's no way I'm going to forgive anyone for stomping over my heat. If they really cared, they wouldn't have done it in the first place. Or here's a novel concept... they would've approached me with what's bothering them instead of stewing in private, then screwing around behind my back.

Being a bit of a utilitarian kind of person myself anniversaries don't matter much to me, so I wouldn't care much if she forgot them. However I'm not emotionless so If I knew it was important to her I would put some effort into not forgetting about them either. Lying about errands however is different. Usually there's a reason for an errand so knowing it's importance and still not running the errand clearly proves a lock of commitment. So this certainly would make me angry. The bill example is even worse though, since it can have serious consequences affecting both partners.

However I've never been in a serious relationship though and thus I really don't know how I would react if I was cheated. On the one hand it's clearly a violation of trust, on the other hand it might have no consequences on the relationship. I guess my reaction would depend how it happened and how I got to know about it. I would most certainly consider forgiving her if she told me herself and told me it won't happen again. However If I had to find out about it myself it would clearly state she doesn't trust me to get over it and thus I would probably break up with her. Knowing the other is supposed to be one of the key elements in a relationship after all.

Seagloom wrote...
If nobody's perfect then this is where one of my imperfections lie. I don't forgive cheaters. Period.

It's actually a good personality feature to acknowledge oneself's imperfections.

[Panderfringe]

I know, shadenfraude is especially compelling, but she was pointlessly and publicly embarrassed. Sure, she may have broken some kind of trust, but this kind of reaction to unnecessary cruelty is unacceptable. Not cool at all, dudes.

[Hatem]

She got what she deserved. But that's just my $0.02. Was hilarious though.

[Seagloom]

Godak wrote...

Again, I disagree with the whole "Oooh! I'm going to break up with my girlfriend on the radio!", but I totally agree with cheating = nonononono! However, I also get the feeling that we may be missing some of Ashley's side of the story. From what we hear, "the kiss" happened at a bar. We have no idea if she was drunk, or if her friend was taking advantage of her. It would have been more productive if Chris had the balls to confront her in person. On the radio, we just got two talk show host dudes laughing it up. If Ashley truly cheated on her boyfriend, and she was in a position where she had a full understanding of what she was doing, then yes, she deserved to be broken up with. But his whole "in public" thing really gets to me. She pretty much gets attacked by three men for cheating, and she has the guts to stay on the air, admit she was wrong, and when she tries to give some explanation (I'm not saying it would have been a good explanation/acceptable excuse, but still...) she is immediately shot down. All we really hear is Chris's one sided story (told to him by "a friend" no less), and Ashley admit that, yes, she did kiss Eric.

True, we don't know for sure the extent of her cheating. If it was just a kiss or worse. Although a kiss would still count for me. Unless we're talking festive lip kisses like on New Year's Eve. Either way the guy putting it all on there for a radio show was low. He went out of his way to get as much satisfaction out of her suffering as he could, which is why I didn't find it funny. That and the hosts were two morons, but many radio show hosts act that way so it's no shock.

Despite that, she admitted to cheating in some way. It makes it hard for me to sympathize with her too much despite how ridiculous that break-up was. What it boiled down to was one weird, awkward twelve minutes where I wasn't laughing and couldn't feel much toward either party.

[Panderfringe]

Gr4ntus wrote...

She got what she deserved. But that's just my $0.02. Was hilarious though.

Really? Really? You think public disgrace is just punishment?

[Godak]

Seagloom wrote...

True, we don't know for sure the extent of her cheating. If it was just a kiss or worse. Although a kiss would still count for me. Unless we're talking festive lip kisses like on New Year's Eve. Either way the guy putting it all on there for a radio show was low. He went out of his way to get as much satisfaction out of her suffering as he could, which is why I didn't find it funny. That and the hosts were two morons, but many radio show hosts act that way so it's no shock.

Uh, I know! They were both such douche-a-saurus rexes...Again, if she purposefully cheated, then I only feel bad because she was broken up with on-air!

Seagloom wrote...

Despite that, she admitted to cheating in some way. It makes it hard for me to sympathize with her too much despite how ridiculous that break-up was. What it boiled down to was one weird, awkward twelve minutes where I wasn't laughing and couldn't feel much toward either party.

Tell me about it. My dad was watching it, too. When it was all over, I told him, "You know, I really thought that was going to be funny. Now, I just feel terrible."

[Seagloom]

BrotherJason wrote...

Being a bit of a utilitarian kind of person myself anniversaries don't matter much to me, so I wouldn't care much if she forgot them. However I'm not emotionless so If I knew it was important to her I would put some effort into not forgetting about them either. Lying about errands however is different. Usually there's a reason for an errand so knowing it's importance and still not running the errand clearly proves a lock of commitment. So this certainly would make me angry. The bill example is even worse though, since it can have serious consequences affecting both partners.

However I've never been in a serious relationship though and thus I really don't know how I would react if I was cheated. On the one hand it's clearly a violation of trust, on the other hand it might have no consequences on the relationship. I guess my reaction would depend how it happened and how I got to know about it. I would most certainly consider forgiving her if she told me herself and told me it won't happen again. However If I had to find out about it myself it would clearly state she doesn't trust me to get over it and thus I would probably break up with her. Knowing the other is supposed to be one of the key elements in a relationship after all.

I really don't have much else to say other than different folks have different threshholds of tolerance. The bill thing is bad, but I could recover from it as long as my partner learned a lesson and didn't repeat it again. If the behavior was repeated there would be reprecussions in the form of ditching them most likely. Forgetting an anniversary, I could probably stand a few more times, but depending on how other aspects of the relationship was faring, I'd wonder if they really cared about my feelings. If it's a case of being with someone forgetful and somewhat irresponsible about dates, I may be willing to let it slide; albeit feeling some annoyance. Errands are similar depending on why exactly they weren't carried out. If it's to have fun somewhere instead of doing as was asked, then it wouldn't take many times before I kicked them to the curb.

All of the above can also be mitigated somewhat if I've been with a person long enough, and are mostly hypothetical besides. Cheating though? I've never been cheated on, but I can say with absolute certainty that if I was, I'd end things right then and there. I'm not even sure I could communicate after learning that, let alone having a sit down and hashing out our problems.

One of the first things I get out there is that if someone isn't happy and is tempted to cheat, let me know. Spare me the pain of betrayal and part ways as friends. I can accept sometimes a relationship doesn't work out because of shifting priorities and/or interests. As long as they give it to me straight, I'm okay.

[Godak]

Seagloom wrote...

One of the first things I get out there is that if someone isn't happy and is tempted to cheat, let me know. Spare me the pain of betrayal and part ways as friends. I can accept sometimes a relationship doesn't work out because of shifting priorities and/or interests. As long as they give it to me straight, I'm okay.

The thing is, those kinds of people who DO cheat, do it because of the rush. They want to be in a relationship with you, but they also want the freedom to do what they want. It is the embodiment of selfishness. They do not truly care about how their actions affect you. They only care about not getting caught.

Modifié par Godak, 20 février 2010 - 08:26 .

[Seagloom]

I like to think not every cheater is like that. Then again I haven't been cheated on personally; although I did know a few cheaters over the years. I can never stay friends with one for very long. They inevitably cheat on someone, or tell me of cheating on someone in a way that shows how little they care, and anger me. I've yet to run into a remorseful cheater, but I think I could grow to befriend that type if their regret seemed genuine.

Modifié par Seagloom, 20 février 2010 - 08:33 .

[Godak]

Seagloom wrote...

I like to think not every cheater is like that. Then again I haven't been cheated on personally; although I did know a few cheaters over the years. I can never stay friends with one for very long. They inevitably cheat on someone, or tell me of cheating on someone in a way that shows how little they care, and anger me. I've yet to run into a remorseful cheater, but I think I could grow to befriend that type if those feelings seemed genuine.

Cheating on one person once doesn't exactly make you a cheater. I think you have to do it consistently, and without regard for your relationships. So, I don't really see how remorse could fit into the equation.

[Steel Moon]

Godak wrote...

Cheating on one person once doesn't exactly make you a cheater. I think you have to do it consistently, and without regard for your relationships. So, I don't really see how remorse could fit into the equation.

Then what does it make them?  A browser?  Test drive before the trade in? 

[Seagloom]

Godak wrote...

Cheating on one person once doesn't exactly make you a cheater. I think you have to do it consistently, and without regard for your relationships. So, I don't really see how remorse could fit into the equation. ../../../images/forum/emoticons/tongue.png

It does for me. <_<

Modifié par Seagloom, 20 février 2010 - 08:41 .