8563 réponses à ce sujet

[MaxQuartiroli]

Hello.... I STILL have to go to work !! damn...I'm too late !!!!! See ya later ! Bye !!

[bri193]

Buongirono



Monday morning and the traffic was crazy, even by Italian standards ...

[MaxQuartiroli]

Well.. I'm at work.. just 1 hour and half late... nice way to begin my last week here...

[bri193]

I wanted to comment on this stuff yesterday, but was struggling with up-loading my characters to the DO:A server...
No sure if anyone will read this, though ...

TheLion36 wrote...
lol did walk up to this one girl I fancied in school once but never spoke to before at the train station when the whole train schedule was mucked up and told her that, that was the train she needed. We got talking and became really good friends, then eventually she got a boyfriend and I told her by e-mail how I felt and I got an e-mail back which said she didn't feel the same way but wanted to stay friends regardless... So we stayed friends for several years until it just died out...

Lion, your story is a page out of my life, this has happened to me countless times...
What I have learned are three things:

1- never take single-life advice from someone married ... I'll explain more on this later ...
2- when a girl says, "I just just want ot be friends".... Run away, cos it will only end in tears... for you ...
3- the women you meet and like fall into 2 general groups, friends and lovers ...

For me, these 2 groups are entirely different, meaning the women I like as friends are very different from the women I like as lovers.... Furthermore, never mix the 2 groups. I did this once and learned the hard way ... When the relationship goes bad, you loose both a friend and a lover... And loosing a friend hurts worse than loosing a lover...
Wisdom is knowing the qualities you want in a friend and those you want in a lover. In my experience these qualities are generally mutually exclusive, i.e. lovers do not make good friends and vis-a-versa...
So, when you first see/meet a girl, you need to decide what you want  - a friend or a lover... Doing this will save you a lot of wasted effort and grief...

BostonVamp wrote...
I don't know.  I always went for the guys
that were funny, witty & intelligent. Quirky was also helpful. They
were all also musicians, oddly enough. Love is strange - can't be
forced. Met my husband on-line. Tore-up the phone lines and was smitten
with each other before meeting. Established lots more in common before
any physical attraction. I think we sometimes let the physical get too
much in the way. Connect on a deeper level first and the physical will
take care of itself.

BV, I disagree with your last statement ... No amount comprimise can cobble together a physical relationship if the physical attraction is not there... I heard this many times before from 'happy' couples, and next you know they are divorced/ broken up... To me, it seems you married a friend and not a lover, perhaps this is the key for you to have a successful marriage, only you know this... However, it imay not be the right key for everyone ...
This gets me to my point 1 further up ...
I generally find that married people have a rather revisionist view of single life. It is like a wall gets re-plastered right after the wedding vows are taken. Whether the new wall is better or wose than what was underneath is irrevelant, what matters is that the view of the wall has permanetly changed ..
I lived with a GF for 7 years When this ended I discovered the world had moved on. I never really fully re-adjusted, and I suspect this is the same for many people in similiar circumstances. You have been married for 12 years, and I would say rather far removed from single life. As good as your intentions might be, I hope Lion takes your words with a grain of salt ...

Modifié par bri193, 08 mars 2010 - 10:22 .

[MaxQuartiroli]

bri193 wrote...

 Furthermore, never mix the 2 groups. I did this once and learned the hard way ... When the relationship goes bad, you loose both a friend and a lover... And loosing a friend hurts worse than loosing a lover...

This is really true.. My X-wife, before being my lover and my wife was my best friend.. We was friend for several years before falling in love... And to be honest when we understood our friendship was becoming "something different" we was really frightened because we knew what was the risk...
But there is a problem: when love begins it's nearly impossible stop it.. You cannot say "no.. I want you only as a friend... If there is attraction, in that moment friendship is already over....and there is nothing you can do"
btw.. Now that our marriage is over I miss much more her as a friend instead of missing her as a lover...

bri193 wrote...

I lived with a GF for 7 years When this ended I discovered the world had moved on. I never really fully re-adjusted, and I suspect this is the same for many people in similiar circumstances.

Yes... I can confirm it's the same for me...

[bri193]

Argh double post

Modifié par bri193, 08 mars 2010 - 10:21 .

[bri193]

MaxQuartiroli wrote...
But there is a problem: when love begins it's nearly impossible stop it.. You cannot say "no.. I want you only as a friend... If there is attraction, in that moment friendship is already over....and there is nothing you can do"
btw.. Now that our marriage is over I miss much more her as a friend instead of missing her as a lover...

But Max, you can say "no"... It is hard to do, but you now know tihs would have been the better outcome, yes?
Lovers are easy to find, go to any club and chat a girl up ...  You live in Italy, the land of beautiful girls ...
Finding a good friend is much more difficult, and something precious to keep ....

[MaxQuartiroli]

bri193 wrote...

MaxQuartiroli wrote...
But there is a problem: when love begins it's nearly impossible stop it.. You cannot say "no.. I want you only as a friend... If there is attraction, in that moment friendship is already over....and there is nothing you can do"
btw.. Now that our marriage is over I miss much more her as a friend instead of missing her as a lover...

But Max, you can say "no"... It is hard to do, but you now know tihs would have been the better outcome, yes?
Lovers are easy to find, go to any club and chat a girl up ...  You live in Italy, the land of beautiful girls ...
Finding a good friend is much more difficult, and something precious to keep ....

She was my girlfriend for 2 years and after that she was my wife for 3 years... we had many beautiful moments, we were very happy togheter... even when love is ended you cannot forget or pretend to forget  all the beautiful moments you spent with a person... Therefore I cannot regret my choice, and even if I could turn back time I would to the same choices... becuase it was worthwhile

In my opinion you know always that even the greatest love ever may finish for some reason.. but when you are in love with someone you cannot think "mmm.. what would be happen if our love will finish?".. you have to live your love as "something that will never end".. this is the only way for make the most of it...
Yes, I know this is quite dangerous.. and that I have an utopian point of view, but, this is the only way I know to love somebody and I'm never gonna change....

[bri193]

MaxQuartiroli wrote...
In my opinion you know always that even the greatest love ever may finish for some reason.. but when you are in love with someone you cannot think "mmm.. what would be happen if our love will finish?".. you have to live your love as "something that will never end".. this is the only way for make the most of it...
Yes, I know this is quite dangerous.. and that I have an utopian point of view, but, this is the only way I know to love somebody and I'm never gonna change....

Max, you are a 'romantic ..
I too have been in love, like you, many times .... Every time, it takes a little piece of me, and when the love is gone, so is that piece ... The peices do not return nor re-build... Now, I am extremely cautious and doubt I can/will ever love the same way as before...

[MaxQuartiroli]

bri193 wrote...

Max, you are a 'romantic ..
I too have been in love, like you, many times .... Every time, it takes a little piece of me, and when the love is gone, so is that piece ... The peices do not return nor re-build... Now, I am extremely cautious and doubt I can/will ever love the same way as before...

Yes.. I understand you...
Maybe you are right... I am too romantic but I am just unable to "use the breaks" when I really fall in love...
And i know that not only I will love my new beloved the same way as the one before... but I will love her MORE than the one before, just because I have to give her not only what she deserves, but also all the things I had still to give to the one before and I never gave to her because I had no more time, when all ended...

My heart was broken a lot of time... in thousands of pieces.. Despite of this, it's always ready... it's just inexhaustible.. Everytime I think.. "No this time it will be unable to do it again".. and everytime it's gonna surprise me

Modifié par MaxQuartiroli, 08 mars 2010 - 11:35 .

[bri193]

Well, I did it ... just pre-ordered Awakening ....

[Liso66]

Good morning / Afternoon everyone.. *Waits for the coffee maker to gift some morning goodness*

[BostonVamp]

Good morning / afternoon.

[TheLion36]

Goodafternoon everyone!  *And goodmorning to the US people*
Its clearly a Monday, everything always goes different than planned on a Monday!  

First of all I thanks for all the advice people have been giving me! 

bri193 wrote...
But Max, you can say "no"... It is hard to do, but you now know tihs would have been the better outcome, yes?
Lovers are easy to find, go to any club and chat a girl up ...  You live in Italy, the land of beautiful girls ...
Finding a good friend is much more difficult, and something precious to keep ....

Whether or not you say no, the chance you lose the friend if you say no is quite high too... So saying no isn't automatically a guarantee for a better outcome.
To be honest I would never have wanted to miss the friendship I had with this girl I mentioned, even after I told her I had feelings the friendship went on and tbh I was very happy we stayed friends... However just like relationships friendships don't always last forever... I'm still happy I told her how I felt however and she told me she already knew, so even if I hadn't told her how I felt she would have known and perhaps that would have caused problems in the friendship eventually, now she knew and I knew what to expect.

bri193 wrote...
Max, you are a 'romantic ..
I too have been in love, like you, many times .... Every time, it takes a little piece of me, and when the love is gone, so is that piece ... The peices do not return nor re-build... Now, I am extremely cautious and doubt I can/will ever love the same way as before...

I know what you mean with losing a piece of yourself, somehow I get crushes quickly but don't fall in love very quickly, however when I do its usually head-over-heels and every time it doesn't work out it hurts and it takes a while to heal up a little again.
It is of course very wise to be cautious before jumping into a relationship, but then again love isn't always wise... I've always considered myself a romantic which might be why I agree with Max that love is always worth the risk.

Modifié par TheLion36, 08 mars 2010 - 01:12 .

[shedevil3001]

too true lion i took a risk and it worked for me even if it took 29 yrs to get there but were still together now so i'm glad

[BostonVamp]

Little slow this morning. Just thought I'd pop-in & say hi. Hope everyone has a good day. Bye.

[TheLion36]

*waves @ SheDevil*



*wave Goodbye @ BostonVamp* Have a nice day!

[shedevil3001]

hi bv have a great day :}



byeee and catch you later :}

[shedevil3001]

i see i missed quite a heart warming conversation last night there lion

[Liso66]

Hi and bye BV I am skipping all this love advice and just asking how everyone is today?



Hiyas Shedevil..

[shedevil3001]

hiya liso im feeling a bit better thanx



how are you and lion today ?

[Liso66]

I am on my first cup of coffee. I'll let you all know how I am once it is finished. "laughs" Otherwise. doing well.. thank you

Great that you are feeling better.. 

Modifié par Liso66, 08 mars 2010 - 01:29 .

[TheLion36]

I'm fine thanks Liso/Shedevil, had a headache this morning but took a pill and it seems to have settled down now! 
How about yerself ? 

shedevil3001 wrote...
i see i missed quite a heart warming conversation last night there lion

Yeah some parts during the evening some parts this morning! 

Modifié par TheLion36, 08 mars 2010 - 01:28 .

[bri193]

America awakes !! Good morning ... And good afternoon to Shedevil!

[Liso66]

bri193 wrote...

America awakes !! Good morning ... And good afternoon to Shedevil!

All of America at once?  wow!!!  4 time zones. that is nifty.   lol