989 réponses à ce sujet

[Rynozeros]

Taranatar9 wrote...

Kal'Reeger: This is my very favorite gun. I call her Vera.

sig worthy

Modifié par Rynozeros, 04 mars 2010 - 01:20 .

[Reptilian Rob]

Nihlus: I don't trust you Saren, why are you here?



Garrus: Shepard, can we talk, I'm an emotional wreck and I need encouragement/hugs.



Harbinger: Assuming Direct Control of your ice cream cone!



Kelly: I'm not in the mood for sex right now.



Tali: Have you seen my fan base? HELP ME!

[maggitPL]

Shepard: Show me your nipples before I change my mind.
Legion: I wish I could but I don't have 'em, Shepard Commander.  But you're more African than me. What up sh*t face?
Shepard: Sh*t... Face? *Inhales* Tough as an android head. Hm... Why don't you loose that N7 top?

If you don't know where this comes from check out the video below. It's got the sweet random taste of Apple Juice.

Modifié par maggitPL, 04 mars 2010 - 01:23 .

[jackkel dragon]

Rynozeros wrote...

Stealing your idea:
------------------
Shepard: Jacob, sit down. We need to have a talk.
Jacob: Of course, Commander.
Shepard: I've been looking over your dossier, and I have to say that I'm impressed.
Jacob: Thank you, Commander.
Shepard: It says you were a Corsair for a few years, saved the Citadel from a bio-weapon, and became a decent security guard for Cerberus.
Jacob: Yes, sir.
Shepard: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you haven't really been able to reach the same level of accomplishment since you left the Alliance. The secret attack on the Citadel was your peak, Jacob. It's only downhill from here.
Jacob: Shepard, I can still help. I have biotics and--
Shepard: I'm sorry, Jacob. We have to let you go.
Jacob: But the Illusive Man hand-picked me for this mission!
Shepard: With the hand he uses to pick his nose. He wants you off the team. It's for the best, Jacob.
Jacob: I... understand.
Shepard: Good. Collect your things and head to the airlock.
Jacob: We're already at port?
Shepard: Yeah, get moving.
*Jacob leaves*
Shepard: Joker, make sure that the internal airlock is sealed. I don't want this "the airlock is ajar" when we shoot Jacob into space.

[Rynozeros]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Rynozeros wrote...

Stealing your idea:
------------------
Shepard: Jacob, sit down. We need to have a talk.
Jacob: Of course, Commander.
Shepard: I've been looking over your dossier, and I have to say that I'm impressed.
Jacob: Thank you, Commander.
Shepard: It says you were a Corsair for a few years, saved the Citadel from a bio-weapon, and became a decent security guard for Cerberus.
Jacob: Yes, sir.
Shepard: I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you haven't really been able to reach the same level of accomplishment since you left the Alliance. The secret attack on the Citadel was your peak, Jacob. It's only downhill from here.
Jacob: Shepard, I can still help. I have biotics and--
Shepard: I'm sorry, Jacob. We have to let you go.
Jacob: But the Illusive Man hand-picked me for this mission!
Shepard: With the hand he uses to pick his nose. He wants you off the team. It's for the best, Jacob.
Jacob: I... understand.
Shepard: Good. Collect your things and head to the airlock.
Jacob: We're already at port?
Shepard: Yeah, get moving.
*Jacob leaves*
Shepard: Joker, make sure that the internal airlock is sealed. I don't want this "the airlock is ajar" when we shoot Jacob into space.

 funny stuff

[Redem0]

Tali



"You know sometime I don't think anyone like me"





Tali:I actually have one of the strongest immune system on the fleet

Shepard : Why so

Tali : You couldn't imagine how much sex I had during my college years, I was flashing my top so often I barely rememered what having a suit on felt! Even had sex with some red head human girl I can't recall the name...but of course with time I got weary of all this

*grumbled grumbles*

[Rynozeros]

Redem0 wrote...
Tali:I actually have one of the strongest immune system on the fleet
Shepard : Why so
Tali : You couldn't imagine how much sex I had during my college years, I was flashing my top so often I barely rememered what having a suit on felt! Even had sex with some red head human girl I can't recall the name...but of course with time I got weary of all this
*grumbled grumbles*

 Tali would never. She is such a nice respectable wholesome girl.

[Xanthor]

Sheperd: Hey Garrus?

       Garrus: Yes, Sheperd?

        Sheperd: You wanna CD?

        Garrus? A wha--

        Sheperd: You wanna see deez nutz!

*Shep runs around giggling*

Modifié par Xanthor, 04 mars 2010 - 01:34 .

[Rynozeros]

Xanthor wrote...

Sheperd: Hey Garrus?Garrus: Yes, Sheperd?Sheperd: You wanna CD?Garrus? A wha--:blink:Sheperd: You wanna see deez nutz!*Shep runs around giggling*

HAHAHAHAHA!

[Xanthor]

Rynozeros wrote...

Xanthor wrote...

Sheperd: Hey Garrus?Garrus: Yes, Sheperd?Sheperd: You wanna CD?Garrus? A wha--:blink:Sheperd: You wanna see deez nutz!*Shep runs around giggling*

HAHAHAHAHA!

Not sure why the post turned out like that, but... carry on

[Redem0]

Rynozeros wrote...


 Tali would never. She is such a nice respectable wholesome girl.

*Point the thread title*

Shepard: "So which  one of you want this Giant teddy bear I won at the citadel fair?"

[jackkel dragon]

Miranda: I'd like to file a complaint.
Illusive Man: What for?
Miranda: Shepard isn't flirting with me.
Illusive Man: This is a problem why?
Miranda: I'm designed to be the perfect woman.
Illusive Man: I still don't see the problem.
Miranda: Perfect.

Modifié par jackkel dragon, 04 mars 2010 - 01:50 .

[Rynozeros]

Jacob: Yo Joker, we heard you like EDI, so we installed a nerve simulator connecting EDI's mainframe to your pants, so you can fly high, while you fly high.

[Redem0]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Miranda: I'd like to file a complaint.
Illusive Man: What for?
Miranda: Shepard isn't flirting with me.
Illusive Man: This is a problem why?
Miranda: I'm designed to be the perfect woman.
Illusive Man: I still don't see the problem.
Miranda: Perfect.

Ilusive Man: You do know he's gay
Miranda: Perfect!

[Rynozeros]

Shepard: Now that we're back from the Collector base maybe we can pick up where we left off?
Miranda: I've got something to tell you that I haven't told anyone else.
Shepard: I'm listening.
Miranda: Before the surgery, I was an exact clone of my father.
Shepard:

[DirewolfX]

Tali: Sorry, I don't date humans.

[Rynozeros]

Miranda: I'll wear something conservative today/

[jackkel dragon]

Illusive Man: Shepard, back in my day we didn't have these fancy schmancy ships. We had paper airplanes. Two sheets and a paperclip for the whole fleet. And we had to share the paperclip.

[Redem0]

Kelly "You know as the main psychologist I thought I could organise a bring your relative on the Normandy day, I think it would greatly help the crew morale!"

[Vaenier]

jackkel dragon wrote...

Illusive Man: Shepard, back in my day we didn't have these fancy schmancy ships. We had paper airplanes. Two sheets and a paperclip for the whole fleet. And we had to share the paperclip.

Hurah! Love Sgt. Johnson. So bad ass.

[Akrylik]

Garrus: Shepard, need me for something?

Shep: Have you got a minute?

Garrus:Can it wait a minute, i'm in the middle of...aw **** it these calibrations can wait, what do ya say we go spill some drinks on the citadel?

[Rynozeros]

Vorcha [in a british accent]: I hate that Krogan bastard. I only put up with it because he's banging my sister. He even makes me talk in that stupid and idiotic screeching voice.



*krogan walks by*



Vorcha: KILLLLL THHHINNGGGS!!!

[Brass_Buckles]

Garrus> Have you got a minute?



Shepard> Can it wait? I'm in the middle of saving the galaxy.

[Daewan]

Conrad Verner: You know, now that I say that out loud, that sounded really stupid. You know what, Shepard? I think I'll just go home to my wife. Sorry for all the trouble. It was good running into you, though!

[Singu]

Kelly: *knees Shepard in the groin* You sexist pig!